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AaronD

Specificity of when we started spending the night together

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My partner and I are completing our statements for our De Facto Visa and we started spending almost every night together only a month and a half of dating. Should we specify that this is on our statements? My partner thinks we should say that we started spending almost every night together at a later date than it actually happened and we're unsure what would be best.

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I don't think it's necessary to tell them when you started spending the night together - you will still 'dating' at that stage I assume.  When did you make the decision that your relationship was exclusive and committed to long term and living together/sharing bills etc .. rather than having sleepovers.

 

 


I just want PIO to be a happy place where people are nice to each other and unicorns poop rainbows

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1 minute ago, ali said:

I don't think it's necessary to tell them when you started spending the night together - you will still 'dating' at that stage I assume.  When did you make the decision that your relationship was exclusive and committed to long term and living together/sharing bills etc .. rather than having sleepovers.

 

 

Thanks for your response. We were in a committed relationship but not living at the same address but we were living together either at her property or mine, essentially inseparable. Would this still not be necessary?

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Then word it as living together at separate addresses and all that entailed rather than spending the night 

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I just want PIO to be a happy place where people are nice to each other and unicorns poop rainbows

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1 minute ago, ali said:

Then word it as living together at separate addresses and all that entailed rather than spending the night 

Okay thank you and just with that in mind, should we specify that this happened after only a month and a half of being exclusive which may seem too soon by most relationship standards or should we say it happened at a later date than it actually did to seem more valid?

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I haven't applied for that visa, but to be honest after a month for me it's still classed as dating even though you both decided not seeing anyone else.  When did you make the commitment to it being living together rather than staying over?

Eg.  My daughter has been seeing her boyfriend almost a year, they go away together, she stays over at his place, they're exclusive and have plans for holidays in a years time - but they don't class themselves as defacto but still boyfriend and girlfriend because they haven't made that commitment to living together full time.


I just want PIO to be a happy place where people are nice to each other and unicorns poop rainbows

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How can you live together at seperate addresses ? That makes no sense to me and presumably won't to the person reading the application.

That is simply dating someone.

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I want it all, and I want it now.

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2 hours ago, Parley said:

How can you live together at seperate addresses ? That makes no sense to me and presumably won't to the person reading the application.

That is simply dating someone.

That was my thinking too.   I thought de facto meant a couple living together in a genuine domestic basis.

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I applied for this visa and was not specific about staying the night.  I described how we met, how frequently we saw each other, what we did together (ie, days out, holidays, meeting friends etc) and described how we stayed in touch when apart. I then gave details of the period before moving in together; we were in different cities so I gave details on how we decided where to live, how this affected our jobs/commute etc.  This was in he 'History of your relationship' section. I applied by post so not sure how 

Immigration don't need to know every intimate detail! 

I used these bullet points for guidance ("Tell us in writing about"...) 

https://immi.homeaffairs.gov.au/visas/getting-a-visa/visa-listing/partner-offshore/provisional-309#HowTo

 

Happy to answer any specific questions that you might have. 

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309/100 visa application lodged 28/08/13 | Visa sub-class 309 granted 09/05/14 | Arrived NSW 27/05/15 | 100 (PR) visa application lodged 27/09/15 | PR granted 13/04/16

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9 hours ago, vickyplum said:

I applied by post so not sure how 

Just realised I trailed off mid explanation! I was trying to say that I applied by post, so I am not sure what the online version looks like. I just typed up a couple of pages using my own words, under the headings I mentioned earlier.


309/100 visa application lodged 28/08/13 | Visa sub-class 309 granted 09/05/14 | Arrived NSW 27/05/15 | 100 (PR) visa application lodged 27/09/15 | PR granted 13/04/16

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23 hours ago, Parley said:

How can you live together at seperate addresses ? That makes no sense to me and presumably won't to the person reading the application.

That is simply dating someone.

Well good friends of mine who have been married for nearly 20 years still live between the two houses they owned before they met. They don’t have kids so just please themselves where they spend the night, not always together either if circumstances dictate. One is a flat in Manchester the other a large house in the countryside. It’s great when we go to stay we choose either a city or a country break. 

They use the different addresses to refer each other to build up points for air miles etc too, she even kept her own surname. 

I would not say they are just dating though, even if they were not married they are in a committed relationship. 

Couples come in all varieties some never share finances, some don’t even share a bed. 

Edited by rammygirl

So many wineries ......so little time :yes:

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6 hours ago, rammygirl said:

Well good friends of mine who have been married for nearly 20 years still live between the two houses they owned before they met. They don’t have kids so just please themselves where they spend the night, not always together either if circumstances dictate. One is a flat in Manchester the other a large house in the countryside. It’s great when we go to stay we choose either a city or a country break. 

They use the different addresses to refer each other to build up points for air miles etc too, she even kept her own surname. 

I would not say they are just dating though, even if they were not married they are in a committed relationship. 

Couples come in all varieties some never share finances, some don’t even share a bed. 

Good thing they aren't looking for an Aussie Spouse visa.  Sounds very similar to the relationship my husband and I have, committed but different, suits both of us, we like our personal space ( hard to live with someone after many years living alone) yet we enjoy the times which we do spend under the same roof.

We were told there was no way that is a genuine committed relationship and the visa was refused. 

 

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24 minutes ago, Nemesis said:

Good thing they aren't looking for an Aussie Spouse visa.  Sounds very similar to the relationship my husband and I have, committed but different, suits both of us, we like our personal space ( hard to live with someone after many years living alone) yet we enjoy the times which we do spend under the same roof.

We were told there was no way that is a genuine committed relationship and the visa was refused. 

 

Harsh but fair.


I want it all, and I want it now.

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I’m sure they could easily provide good evidence though, wills, finances, car insurance and both have things registered at the same address just not everything. They don’t live apart just between two homes. 


So many wineries ......so little time :yes:

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43 minutes ago, rammygirl said:

I’m sure they could easily provide good evidence though, wills, finances, car insurance and both have things registered at the same address just not everything. They don’t live apart just between two homes. 

Our finances are so entangled, and have been for years, that even I struggle to work them out! Yes, we have wills, insurance, everything regsitered at one permanent address and he just used to stay in lodgings when not at home, so we didn't even own or have leases on two addresses  Still, Immigration reckoned a 10 year relationship wasn't good enough......

All water under the bridge now, we are now based in England not Aus and I just come and go until I can cut my ozzie ties. His address is now the permanent one, mine is the temporary!

Edited by Nemesis

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I would suggest keeping this information out of your declarations.

When I am helping clients with their statutory declaration, we write about the first date and the developments of the meetings without getting into the intimate details.

If you moved in together, you should specify the date, but otherwise, I don't think the officer needs to know this information.

for example- details about your mutual trips, places you like to visit, holidays, mutual friends, if and when you met each others family members are impotent.

As long as it is all correct and synchronises with the two declarations...

Good luck,

Moran Shultz

Migration Agent 1795282

 

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1 hour ago, Moran From LifeinAus said:

for example- details about your mutual trips, places you like to visit, holidays, mutual friends, if and when you met each others family members are impotent.

 

I think you mean important?

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Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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1 minute ago, Marisawright said:

I think you mean important?

😂


So many wineries ......so little time :yes:

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On 12/01/2019 at 09:58, AaronD said:

Okay thank you and just with that in mind, should we specify that this happened after only a month and a half of being exclusive which may seem too soon by most relationship standards or should we say it happened at a later date than it actually did to seem more valid?

I don't think you need to mention it at all.   

In the olden days, people didn't sleep together until marriage, so the date of intimacy was important.  These days, people sleep together while dating, so it's not a significant event.

In Australia, when you say you are "de facto",  it means you are living as if you were married, you just haven't had a legal marriage ceremony.  At what date would you say that happened?  That's your starting date. 


Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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When I did mine I had really really shady proof of defacto, all I sent in was 1 receipt from 13 months before of a booking in her name with my credit card used. A few pictures from the last year, a letter from my parents and hers, screen shot of Facebook friends in common and screen shot of shared bank account. That’s it. 

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