Have you taken kids back? Dealing with emotions

[Bumblebee]

Hi, 

I'm returning to the UK after 10+ years, just me and my two kids. So I'm returning but its new for them 10 and 4). They've visited with me every few years so kind of know what's coming but for the three of us it'll all be new. And permanent.

Just wondering about other peoples experiences, can anyone share what they've been through, how the kids coped, any tips to help transition. Our shipping will take 3months so settling tips on arrival welcome! (We'll be living with family then moving in with my mum more permanently a few months after arriving).

I'm also feeling the ups and downs - it is both exciting and genuinely terrifying making such a leap. I know when I get there it'll feel right but Australia seems like Neverland to me, when I'm in the UK I know its right but when you're in Oz it makes you forget! 

[LKC]

We (OH, two kids aged 9 and 11 as they were, and I) moved back to the UK a little over a year ago, after 9 years in Sydney. We moved to a part of the UK that we'd not lived in before, so we had no family or friends to help with settling in. It has actually been fine. They both settled really easily and well at school, made loads of friends, and eldest has recently transitioned to high school without any problems at all. The teachers were all very supportive of helping them cover any extra bits of schoolwork they were missing, and the help for eldest (who has Asperger's) has been exceptional. Sadly, my marriage hasn't survived and OH and I are now separated, but even that has been made easier by being in the place we love. I shudder to think about what could have happened if we'd separated whilst still living in Australia.

There are ups and downs, as with any move, but I absolutely wouldn't change what we did in moving back for a second. Australia seems like a very distant dream now, and although I am glad we had the experience of living there, I am so very happy to be home!

[Guest]

Regarding shipping taking three months - pack their favourites in your luggage. Sure they're a little older, but we packed a laptop and as many of our child's favourite DVD's/teddies/books as we could. Helped with familiarity in an unfamiliar situation waiting for personal items to arrive. Also, not sure how much you're bringing back but do check out movecube as an alternate to a full/half container. Don't use the 'online calculator' on movecube - it's just not accurate. We fit a huge amount in our large movecube and the rest took in a series of carry-on/in hold.

I'm sure you have / will but talk talk talk to your kids. Never stop the two way communication. Ask them questions, get them interested - point out maps, who you'll be seeing, what new adventures you'll have. Don't discount their feelings or memories of here, but get them looking forward, not back. Listen to their excitement and fears.

I'm not meaning to pry - but presuming you do have approval to remove your kids from Australia? I noticed you said just you and the kids... I don't want to bring up upsetting memories, just checking you have this in place?

And whatever you do, see if you can apply for citizenship before you leave. You just never never know.....

Edited December 18, 2018 by Guest

[Bumblebee]

12 minutes ago, Ozzie said:

Regarding shipping taking three months - pack their favourites in your luggage. Sure they're a little older, but we packed a laptop and as many of our child's favourite DVD's/teddies/books as we could. Helped with familiarity in an unfamiliar situation waiting for personal items to arrive. Also, not sure how much you're bringing back but do check out movecube as an alternate to a full/half container. Don't use the 'online calculator' on movecube - it's just not accurate. We fit a huge amount in our large movecube and the rest took in a series of carry-on/in hold.

I'm sure you have / will but talk talk talk to your kids. Never stop the two way communication. Ask them questions, get them interested - point out maps, who you'll be seeing, what new adventures you'll have. Don't discount their feelings or memories of here, but get them looking forward, not back. Listen to their excitement and fears.

I'm not meaning to pry - but presuming you do have approval to remove your kids from Australia? I noticed you said just you and the kids... I don't want to bring up upsetting memories, just checking you have this in place?

And whatever you do, see if you can apply for citizenship before you leave. You just never never know.....

Thanks Ozzie, yes consent order and citizenship all done. Marriage ended early this year and he wants to stay here (we're both from UK). 

Interesting you're the second person to say that about movecube, holding more, hope so as medium looks small measured with masking tape, just packing now. SUCH a big undertaking alone, I'm exhausted! 

You're quote in your signature gives me hope too - definitely starting from scratch - Eeek!

[Guest]

11 minutes ago, Bumblebee said:

Thanks Ozzie, yes consent order and citizenship all done. Marriage ended early this year and he wants to stay here (we're both from UK). 

Interesting you're the second person to say that about movecube, holding more, hope so as medium looks small measured with masking tape, just packing now. SUCH a big undertaking alone, I'm exhausted! 

You're quote in your signature gives me hope too - definitely starting from scratch - Eeek!

Ok thats good (if you see what I mean) about having everything 'in place'. I wish you the best. Just keep checking and trusting your gut instinct and doing your research.

I'm not sure about a medium movecube, we took a large one. See the link below for photos and list of items we brought.

We were amazed about how much we could fit in. We had six big boxes we were going to send (pay) for excess baggage but we fit them into the cube. It was a case of running around frantically trying to find more things to add!

We took measurements (see first photos) and piled everything up in a room (packaged) to ensure it all fit. But then, with the expert helper guy we had that went out the window as mentioned (not literally ha ha) - fit so much more in.

 

 

Edited December 18, 2018 by Guest

[Bumblebee]

15 hours ago, LKC said:

We (OH, two kids aged 9 and 11 as they were, and I) moved back to the UK a little over a year ago, after 9 years in Sydney. We moved to a part of the UK that we'd not lived in before, so we had no family or friends to help with settling in. It has actually been fine. They both settled really easily and well at school, made loads of friends, and eldest has recently transitioned to high school without any problems at all. The teachers were all very supportive of helping them cover any extra bits of schoolwork they were missing, and the help for eldest (who has Asperger's) has been exceptional. Sadly, my marriage hasn't survived and OH and I are now separated, but even that has been made easier by being in the place we love. I shudder to think about what could have happened if we'd separated whilst still living in Australia.

There are ups and downs, as with any move, but I absolutely wouldn't change what we did in moving back for a second. Australia seems like a very distant dream now, and although I am glad we had the experience of living there, I am so very happy to be home!

Hi LKC, sorry to hear about your split, glad your where you are for it, yes being here in oz going through this is not great! Will be home thank goodness, its been a tough two years. 

I've heard the schools are great at catching kids up, I'm looking forward to being back in the UK system. Haven't looked at schools yet as not sure where well be living. Did your kids start school straight away? 

[LKC]

19 minutes ago, Bumblebee said:

Hi LKC, sorry to hear about your split, glad your where you are for it, yes being here in oz going through this is not great! Will be home thank goodness, its been a tough two years. 

I've heard the schools are great at catching kids up, I'm looking forward to being back in the UK system. Haven't looked at schools yet as not sure where well be living. Did your kids start school straight away? 

The kids finished at their Aus school on 1st September, then they started at their UK school on the 18th. We figured that they'd not really miss anything, since they were moving between two different systems, and that the break would do them some good. We took them to visit their new school and we went on lots of days out, in amongst sorting out things like bank accounts and buying cars, and it worked really well. The schools have been outstanding. I gave eldest daughters paperwork to them (about her Aspergers and anxiety) and within a month they'd arranged for an occupational therapist to visit her at school, and meetings with the learning support team from the high school, to ensure that her transition to high school was managed well. The teachers were absolutely excellent (and have been since, with the separation). 

Thank goodness you have permission to bring the kids back. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for people who can't get permission. I don't think for a second that my OH would have stopped me, had we split in Australia, but you can't really know for sure.