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juliaoz01

Move home? :-0

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Thank you to everyone for all of your comments. I’m glad that people haven’t been extremely judgemental, as I have found that on some forums (ahem Facebook!), you make one comment someone disagrees with and you’re instantly the devil incarnate. So thank you all for your helpful and constructive comments and suggestions.

my favourite has been finding WA people ‘scruffier and weirder’ than the other states but not really much better! I think that has kind of sealed the deal! There is no right or wrong answer here really, where is best for someone and their family may be completely wrong for another. I just find the isolation and loneliness soul destroying, and that there is so little to do. My partner enjoys things like fishing and said the other day he hopes I find something I like as much as that here. That really got to me because there isn’t. I had a good circle of friends and stuff I enjoyed back in England that just won’t transition over here. I’m not very sporty, I like swimming but that’s about it. 

I just don’t think I like most of all the idea of my daughters in particular growing up here. Some of the men are ok don’t get me wrong but their attitudes toward women really do leave a lot to be desired. I think the best thing for us is to just see how things progress over the next year or so. I’ll be busy with twins and it will give us time to save up should we decide to go back. I don’t really relish the idea of being here for as long as that, but it is what it is. I think a trip home sometime in the next 6 months will pretty much be a deal breaker for us as to what we prefer and what’s right for us as a family. Yes we have a nice house here but at the end of the day it’s just bricks and mortar. What makes you happy and work as a family within that house is far more important 🥰

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27 minutes ago, juliaoz01 said:

Thank you to everyone for all of your comments. I’m glad that people haven’t been extremely judgemental, as I have found that on some forums (ahem Facebook!), you make one comment someone disagrees with and you’re instantly the devil incarnate. So thank you all for your helpful and constructive comments and suggestions.

my favourite has been finding WA people ‘scruffier and weirder’ than the other states but not really much better! I think that has kind of sealed the deal! There is no right or wrong answer here really, where is best for someone and their family may be completely wrong for another. I just find the isolation and loneliness soul destroying, and that there is so little to do. My partner enjoys things like fishing and said the other day he hopes I find something I like as much as that here. That really got to me because there isn’t. I had a good circle of friends and stuff I enjoyed back in England that just won’t transition over here. I’m not very sporty, I like swimming but that’s about it. 

I just don’t think I like most of all the idea of my daughters in particular growing up here. Some of the men are ok don’t get me wrong but their attitudes toward women really do leave a lot to be desired. I think the best thing for us is to just see how things progress over the next year or so. I’ll be busy with twins and it will give us time to save up should we decide to go back. I don’t really relish the idea of being here for as long as that, but it is what it is. I think a trip home sometime in the next 6 months will pretty much be a deal breaker for us as to what we prefer and what’s right for us as a family. Yes we have a nice house here but at the end of the day it’s just bricks and mortar. What makes you happy and work as a family within that house is far more important 🥰

Whilst I'm someone who is happy here in Perth, I also believe that life is much too short to spend it being so unhappy, particularly because people aren't getting the best of you and you aren't doing the best for yourself.  I think in your heart you know that being back in the UK is where you'll be happiest - start putting a plan in action, it will make the wait more bearable knowing there is an end in sight.

 

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I just want PIO to be a happy place where people are nice to each other and unicorns poop rainbows

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1 hour ago, juliaoz01 said:

There is no right or wrong answer here really, where is best for someone and their family may be completely wrong for another.

That sums it up in a nutshell.  I suggest you stop trying to list all the things you don't like about Australia to justify the move.  You're not an outdoorsy person so you find the lifestyle in Perth doesn't suit you, and you've realised that for you, the most important thing is for your children to grow up with their extended family.  That's more than enough reason to move.  Keep your criticisms to yourself while you're in Oz, as it will only invite people to get upset and argue with you and you don't need conflict.  

Honestly, the best thing for you to do is, don't go wasting money on a trip home.  Why waste money on a return trip, when you know you don't want to come back?  

You mention your husband hopes you'll find something you enjoy.  Does that mean he's not keen to go back - is that why you're thinking of delaying?

Edited by Marisawright

Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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10 hours ago, Marisawright said:

That sums it up in a nutshell.  I suggest you stop trying to list all the things you don't like about Australia to justify the move.  You're not an outdoorsy person so you find the lifestyle in Perth doesn't suit you, and you've realised that for you, the most important thing is for your children to grow up with their extended family.  That's more than enough reason to move.  Keep your criticisms to yourself while you're in Oz, as it will only invite people to get upset and argue with you and you don't need conflict.  

Honestly, the best thing for you to do is, don't go wasting money on a trip home.  Why waste money on a return trip, when you know you don't want to come back?  

You mention husband hopes you'll find something you enjoy.  Does that mean he's not keen to go back - is that why you're think thing of delaying?

On the other hand maybe it would be best to visit first and make up her mind once and for all as personally I can think of nothing worse than travelling back here (if it doesn't work out in the UK) with three children and three dogs - never mind the expense.

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I know it sounds flippant but after a couple of weeks in Perth I couldn't leave fast enough.  I hated it there and would never, ever even contemplate living there. It made me feel quite oppressed. Nothing wrong with it but not right for me at all.  Some parts of WA I could live in though- Esperance comes to mind. I have been to all the Australian capitals, , including Darwin, and I think I could live in just about any of them- except Perth. The Eastern states are as different as chalk and cheese in attitude, lifestyle, just about everything. If you decide to stay in Australia please try another state- we are all different and you might be very pleasantly surprised at the difference.

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4 hours ago, starlight7 said:

I know it sounds flippant but after a couple of weeks in Perth I couldn't leave fast enough.  I hated it there and would never, ever even contemplate living there. It made me feel quite oppressed. Nothing wrong with it but not right for me at all.  Some parts of WA I could live in though- Esperance comes to mind. I have been to all the Australian capitals, , including Darwin, and I think I could live in just about any of them- except Perth. The Eastern states are as different as chalk and cheese in attitude, lifestyle, just about everything. If you decide to stay in Australia please try another state- we are all different and you might be very pleasantly surprised at the difference.

Finally Where did you end up settling? I completely agree with you on Perth. It is just different in so many ways. I just love Sydney, I wpujd move there tomorrow if I thought we could ever make it work financially. I sometimes wonder if it is just Perth that has really made me become so disillusioned with Australia, not australia if you get me? Perhaps it is because I do know for sure what we’d be getting back in the UK, and that uncertainty about the rest of Australia (because of perth) might sway me more toward a uk move. If that makes sense?! Wages put my partner off the east a bit in that he can earn a lot more here. But that’s not a deal breaker. The hardest thing is finding somewhere we can settle and finally call home for the rest of our days 

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12 hours ago, juliaoz01 said:

Finally Where did you end up settling? I completely agree with you on Perth. It is just different in so many ways. I just love Sydney, I wpujd move there tomorrow if I thought we could ever make it work financially. I sometimes wonder if it is just Perth that has really made me become so disillusioned with Australia, not australia if you get me? Perhaps it is because I do know for sure what we’d be getting back in the UK, and that uncertainty about the rest of Australia (because of perth) might sway me more toward a uk move. If that makes sense?! Wages put my partner off the east a bit in that he can earn a lot more here. But that’s not a deal breaker. The hardest thing is finding somewhere we can settle and finally call home for the rest of our days 

I have been in the Melbourne eastern subs for many years now. I believe the price of houses is finally dropping a bit, depending on the area and the same goes for Sydney so it might pay to wait a little while.  Just a thought. 

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On 10/12/2018 at 16:44, juliaoz01 said:

Finally Where did you end up settling? I completely agree with you on Perth. It is just different in so many ways. I just love Sydney, I wpujd move there tomorrow if I thought we could ever make it work financially. I sometimes wonder if it is just Perth that has really made me become so disillusioned with Australia, not australia if you get me? Perhaps it is because I do know for sure what we’d be getting back in the UK, and that uncertainty about the rest of Australia (because of perth) might sway me more toward a uk move. If that makes sense?! Wages put my partner off the east a bit in that he can earn a lot more here. But that’s not a deal breaker. The hardest thing is finding somewhere we can settle and finally call home for the rest of our days 

Sydney has a much lower standard of living than we have in U.K.  cramped, expensive, traffic is a nightmare, all the houses are tiny very dated tired, sad and look pretty knackered but oh my their houses are seriously expensive.. It may have some nice beaches but quality of life....no way. Perth is far better if you really must live away out there and can handle the isolation and enjoy being cut off from the rest of the world ( most Perth Aussies seem to...or seem unaware that they are isolated).  UK is the best place in the world.

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On 04/12/2018 at 05:13, juliaoz01 said:

So we moved to Perth from the north east England back in April. We had lived in Sydney in 2004 for a year in our twenties as backpackers and just loved it. Since then we have been back about 6 times. We love the east coast but have found housing very expensive and work (welding anyway) not particularly well paid. So, we settled on Perth as housing is cheaper, work is better paid and there’s more opportunities and the climate is better. However, we both are very miserable here. We always wanted to move here for a ‘better’ quality of life but that’s just not happening. My partner has managed to get work ok but the days are very long and we hardly see him. When we do he’s knackered. He is getting more and more depressed as he doesn’t get to spend the time he wants with our four year old son. I am pregnant with twins and due pretty much any time now. It has been really hard to meet people, and the acquaintances we have formed all tend to be from the UK or New Zealand. Australians either can’t understand us which is fair enough, or just don’t get us. Especially at work my partner has found it hard just getting along with people which is very unusual. 

We also have 3 dogs and aside from the beach there’s just nowhere to take them. They have to either be on a lead or arent allowed. The beaches are nice but finding one without huge rips and that are dangerous is hard work.

I feel like such a whinger but worst of all I feel like a fraud. We spent the last 14 years desperate to get back here, but I think we aren’t the people we were then and Australia isn’t the country to fulfill the dreams we had in our twenties. But we left England because we weren’t happy and thought life here would be that much better. But the isolation, the work and the amount of rules and regulations they have here for everything is just making things so much harder. Aside from the weather, I don’t know if I want our children growing up here as there are so many social issues. I know 9 months isn’t a long time but we have that feeling of dread in the pit of our stomach all the time and it’s just eating away at us. Is this normal and/or has anyone else moved out here just to feel like they’ve made a big mistake? 😞

Yes what you say is so true...you can own a bigger house there, but if it has no heart or soul , what’s the point.  Better to be in a smaller house back in U.K with friends and family around you where you are free and can do whatever you want than be stuck away out there at the bottom of the world on your own  so far away from civilisation.  You can’t even travel anywhere because there’s nowhere to go to.  Once you’re in Perth that’s it .....you’re  stuck, it costs an arm and leg to go anywhere and let’s face it there’s nothing to see anyway.  The housing there is of low quality...basically built the way we build a garage here in U.K...even my garage window has double glazing.  Seriously if you’re feeling that way now, then why bother waiting.  The day we got out of that place was a happy day and when we arrived home for good it was the best feeling ever.  

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We've live on the gold coast and Melbourne, Ive enjoyed both and have really liked Melbourne, grat fir kids, I'll be sad to leave but despite it being a great place to live it will never offer those things I want for my kids, and me!  I think if you focus on those things you hold dear when making your decisions you hopefully won't waste years and years trying to settle when in the end what you are looking for just isn't here.

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We've live on the gold coast and Melbourne, Ive enjoyed both and have really liked Melbourne, grat fir kids, I'll be sad to leave but despite it being a great place to live it will never offer those things I want for my kids, and me!  I think if you focus on those things you hold dear when making your decisions you hopefully won't waste years and years trying to settle when in the end what you are looking for just isn't here.

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10 hours ago, Bumblebee said:

We've live on the gold coast and Melbourne, Ive enjoyed both and have really liked Melbourne, grat fir kids, I'll be sad to leave but despite it being a great place to live it will never offer those things I want for my kids, and me!  I think if you focus on those things you hold dear when making your decisions you hopefully won't waste years and years trying to settle when in the end what you are looking for just isn't here.

You’re spot on there.  I would always say to anyone who has a loving family , friends and loving parents around them, don’t throw that all away to go out there !!! Because that really is as good as life gets.   Big houses and beaches are nothing....may not seem like that at first but they get old very quickly as does life as a foreigner in a soulless brick n colorbond suburb where every day is the same old same old,

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On 04/12/2018 at 05:13, juliaoz01 said:

So we moved to Perth from the north east England back in April. We had lived in Sydney in 2004 for a year in our twenties as backpackers and just loved it. Since then we have been back about 6 times. We love the east coast but have found housing very expensive and work (welding anyway) not particularly well paid. So, we settled on Perth as housing is cheaper, work is better paid and there’s more opportunities and the climate is better. However, we both are very miserable here. We always wanted to move here for a ‘better’ quality of life but that’s just not happening. My partner has managed to get work ok but the days are very long and we hardly see him. When we do he’s knackered. He is getting more and more depressed as he doesn’t get to spend the time he wants with our four year old son. I am pregnant with twins and due pretty much any time now. It has been really hard to meet people, and the acquaintances we have formed all tend to be from the UK or New Zealand. Australians either can’t understand us which is fair enough, or just don’t get us. Especially at work my partner has found it hard just getting along with people which is very unusual. 

We also have 3 dogs and aside from the beach there’s just nowhere to take them. They have to either be on a lead or arent allowed. The beaches are nice but finding one without huge rips and that are dangerous is hard work.

I feel like such a whinger but worst of all I feel like a fraud. We spent the last 14 years desperate to get back here, but I think we aren’t the people we were then and Australia isn’t the country to fulfill the dreams we had in our twenties. But we left England because we weren’t happy and thought life here would be that much better. But the isolation, the work and the amount of rules and regulations they have here for everything is just making things so much harder. Aside from the weather, I don’t know if I want our children growing up here as there are so many social issues. I know 9 months isn’t a long time but we have that feeling of dread in the pit of our stomach all the time and it’s just eating away at us. Is this normal and/or has anyone else moved out here just to feel like they’ve made a big mistake? 😞

I could have written that myself.

Come home!

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On 13/12/2018 at 07:12, Home and Happy said:

Sydney has a much lower standard of living than we have in U.K.  cramped, expensive, traffic is a nightmare, all the houses are tiny very dated tired, sad and look pretty knackered but oh my their houses are seriously expensive.. It may have some nice beaches but quality of life....no way. Perth is far better if you really must live away out there and can handle the isolation and enjoy being cut off from the rest of the world ( most Perth Aussies seem to...or seem unaware that they are isolated).  UK is the best place in the world.

All in your opinion , no diffrent to London or any other capital city around the world, 

 

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On 09/01/2019 at 06:52, Rallyman said:

All in your opinion , no diffrent to London or any other capital city around the world, 

 

London is not my kind of place.  I used to enjoy visiting it often but not anymore.  I live in a country house at the top of a village. I’m settled here now.  For me it’s my idea of heaven.  I go to the big town for shopping only and sometimes for meals.  The Toby carvery in town does the famous all you can eat breakfasts for £3.99...on a cold winters morning, with hot cup of tea and toast... it really hits the spot. . That said it’s the peak of winter and it’s 11 degrees now.

Edited by Home and Happy
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Each country has its pros and cons, at the end of the day you need to live somewhere you are happy.

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