stokie123 Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 Hi Everyone, We finally decided at the beginning of this year, after years of discussion, to emigrate to Australia (Melbourne). Since then it’s been an absolute roller coaster of emotions. All the key motivations to emigrating are still there and I've spent the past 6 months creating cost analysis for moving and living, we have money saved, we have jobs lined up etc and we have friends and family Melbourne waiting to support us when we arrive. However, it’s been so so hard getting to this point. Visas, jobs, research, removals, schools etc - its been so exhausting and we had many moments where we thought the whole thing might fall through. Our lives have literally been taken over with it. Our family (none of whom live in the UK) all support us now but getting to that point was really hard as they all took it really badly to begin with. We still get the guilt trips now even though they know that long term it’s the best thing for us as a family. I've also had to go to court to get an order allowing us to move with my daughter (her father is absent) which has been really draining and costly. Our move date is approaching (September) and I'm mentally/emotionally exhausted and have run out of any enthusiasm or excitement for the move. I'm just filled now with dread and anxiety that something is going to go wrong or the children won’t settle or we won’t like it! I guess my reason for posting is to find out whether anyone else felt like this? Is this normal for such a big move? I've lived in 4 different countries in my life but this is the first move abroad with children (10 years and 3 years) so it'd made me far more anxious. Would love to hear your own thoughts and stories. Thank you! S Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 Hi @stokie123 unfortunately we have all been in that situation. It was the biggest roller coaster of emotions we have ever dealt with in our life. The first 3 months here will feel like the honeymoon (holiday) period and then you will probably go through the next stage of what on earth have we done. It is worth it so hang in there. Remember all the reasons you started this process in the first place. i think sometimes it’s easier for us to give in and not step out of our comfort zone. What I will say is that if you don’t do it you will always live with the “What if’s”. As for family, for the first 4 years of our life here in Australia my mum never spoke to me, then one day out of the blue I received an email and she was on the next plane over. Since then she has visited around 10 times and each time she tells us it was the best move we ever made. i have 3 children and they have all enjoyed their life here and non would want to return back to the UK. I think it has lots of opportunities for our children and I 100% feel it was the best move we made for them. ‘Thankfully your children are still young so haven’t started with the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, or going out with their mates. They are probably excited and looking at it as one big adventure. Huge virtual hugs and honestly we have all been there and come out the other side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jojoe Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 You’ve done all the hard work now it is time to go get your dream and enjoy it all .. we put all the effort in back home to get our visa , we too had to go through the courts for a child , when you have put so much hard work into getting here it is obvious that you are dedicated to make it a success and more likely to overcome challenges more sucessfilly. It is only natural to feel anxious with such a big move but you seem very prepared and researced so you can do no other now than to put it all into practice.,every body’s journey is different but from what you are saying I would say yours is going to be successful so much effort into getting here everything else is less of a challenge . Every ones journey is different many face challenges when they come here and many face challenges before they get here , no journey is certain of happiness , Always remember your reason of coming here 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 Try not to over emotionalise it - "live the dream" and all that. Be pragmatic, it's just a move to another first world country with all that entails and it will either work out or it wont and whatever happens it wont be the end of the world. Chances are that it will all be fine, the kids will be OK, you will be OK and you will look back on these few months as just a minor blip. If it all goes pear shaped then theres nothing that a passport and a credit card wont fix. I cant say that I went through the emotional turmoil that you went through, probably because for us it was just "the next best opportunity" and life is an adventure after all. As long as you have the freedom to move whenever and wherever you choose you should be good, just dont let yourself get trapped somewhere that you really dont want to be. Breathe! It'll be fine one way or the other. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stokie123 Posted July 14, 2018 Author Share Posted July 14, 2018 Thank you everyone, your replies mean a lot and have made me get a grip and start thinking about the amazing positives ahead. Love to you all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 5 hours ago, stokie123 said: Thank you everyone, your replies mean a lot and have made me get a grip and start thinking about the amazing positives ahead. Love to you all You just need to remember you aren’t alone, we have many members who have been or are going through that emotional roller coaster. Please keep us updated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 Good luck Stokie. With family and friends here already I am sure you will never look back. Probably most of us have had the negative comments when plans were announced , I know we certainly did, coupled with dire stories about how people return to the UK after finding out it is not what they wanted. Ignore the lot of them, they are not thinking of you but themselves! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unzippy Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 If you didn't feel emotional/worried/stress there would be something wrong! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisher1 Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 On 13/07/2018 at 21:55, stokie123 said: Hi Everyone, We finally decided at the beginning of this year, after years of discussion, to emigrate to Australia (Melbourne). Since then it’s been an absolute roller coaster of emotions. All the key motivations to emigrating are still there and I've spent the past 6 months creating cost analysis for moving and living, we have money saved, we have jobs lined up etc and we have friends and family Melbourne waiting to support us when we arrive. However, it’s been so so hard getting to this point. Visas, jobs, research, removals, schools etc - its been so exhausting and we had many moments where we thought the whole thing might fall through. Our lives have literally been taken over with it. Our family (none of whom live in the UK) all support us now but getting to that point was really hard as they all took it really badly to begin with. We still get the guilt trips now even though they know that long term it’s the best thing for us as a family. I've also had to go to court to get an order allowing us to move with my daughter (her father is absent) which has been really draining and costly. Our move date is approaching (September) and I'm mentally/emotionally exhausted and have run out of any enthusiasm or excitement for the move. I'm just filled now with dread and anxiety that something is going to go wrong or the children won’t settle or we won’t like it! I guess my reason for posting is to find out whether anyone else felt like this? Is this normal for such a big move? I've lived in 4 different countries in my life but this is the first move abroad with children (10 years and 3 years) so it'd made me far more anxious. Would love to hear your own thoughts and stories. Thank you! S Hi, I'm in my sixties and have been here ten months, having moved out with my husband to join our daughter - who is our only child - and our small grandchildren. Some days I bounce along thinking "we did it! Aren't we clever, we live here!" Other days I'm looking on rightmove at property in the UK … I miss my old friends, family and town desperately sometimes, then other times I feel great. That's life when you move to another country … I'm lucky, I've been here before, although the distances involved were nothing like as far … but then, if you can't pop out for coffee with a mate, it doesn't make that much difference whether its one or twelve thousand miles. I think it takes a year to feel anything like normal after a big move, but maybe that's just me - although I'm sure everyone finds it challenging. I'm reminded of a quote from Helen Keller "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing". You've done the hard work, the form filling, the endless ands ifs and buts have been sorted … go for it - and the very best of luck with the move. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 Fisher you are very brave because things don't become any easier as you get older- we tend to become a bit set in our ways and habits. How wonderful to see your grandchildren though, makes everything worthwhile. My Dad moved here at 80 after Mum died and he said it was the best thing he had ever done to become part of our family again with all the grandchildren ( great grandchildren for him) He was their major supplier of chocolate and treats whilst he was alive. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 If I can give one piece of advice it would be ‘be positive, put on rose tints (if that is what you need). Being overly anxious or unenthusiastic will be self-fulfilling. If you believe in your heart that it will be a big mistake then it almost certainly will turn out that way so stay put. We moved in our 50s with a young daughter. I had never lived outside SE England. Getting the initial toe hold is quite exhausting and I would have hated to undertake it without enthusiasm and confidence. Been here 3 years and can genuinely say have loved every day of it. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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