Jump to content

You're currently viewing the forum as a Guest
register-now-button_orig.png
and join in with discussions   
ask migration questions
message other members

..and much much more!

Phoenix16

Thoughts and Ideas please xxxxx

    Recommended Posts

    I’m seeking ideas and thoughts, my very highly functioning husband, has a massively successful career but with that comes immense stress......I have noticed over a period of time that he has started to develop a stammer, I am highly conscious but play it down with him and try not to draw attention to it, I’ve also noticed his memory span is diminishing a little, he is 48 years old but his stammer is becoming acute and he sometimes cannot remember something he did moments earlier, he gets frustrated with his confusion.  He functions incredibly well at work, he is passionate about his work and thrives on it but I do know he is under incredible stress at the moment and has been for some time.  Has anyone suffered this? I do my complete best to ensure home environment is peaceful and tranquil but I will be honest I’m worried xxxxx

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites

    My first thought would be not to play it down. Sugar coating it means that it will take longer for him to get the help he needs.

    Mental health is a minefield. You say he functions well at work. How do you know? I work in a very stressful environment, no one would know that it is eating away at me insides and I hate it with a passion I feel trapped unless I actually told some one (which I do). This then creeps into other areas of life so I cannot switch off properly let at home.

    • Like 3

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    • Like 1

    Timeline: 309/100 Sent 7/8/13, Money Taken 9/8/13, CO appointed 3/9/13. Med 3/12/13. Police check 4/12/13. VISA GRANTED 8/4/14, Subclass100. Recce August 2014. Arrived 30 July 2015.

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites

    What worries me is that stammering isn't usually caused by stress.   In someone who already has a stammer, stress will make it worse but it's not the original cause.

    If your husband never had a stammer before, then something must have happened to trigger it.  That could be an extreme trauma, or a brain injury, or a stroke.    Stress doesn't cause the kind of forgetfulness you describe either, so I'm concerned it could be a stroke.  To be on the safe side, get him to a doctor pronto.

    • Like 4

    Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

    "The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites

    Is stammering the same as stuttering ?

    Maybe they changed the name. Definitely see a doctor as could be a warning sign of something like Parkinsons.

    • Like 2

    I want it all, and I want it now.

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites

    Are there other symptoms? Ie shaking, tremors, weakness, twitching? The reason I ask is that my husband started with all the above it then progressed to stammering. There were lots of meds that didn’t work but some that did the only downside is that they knock you out. My hubby just can’t function on the meds. We have another member whose husband was a policeman he started off as above but got to the stage he could t walk. 

    I cant remember where you live Phoenix but if it’s Qld let me know as I’ve got the best neurologist I can recommend. He isn’t officially taking any new patients on but he will do for me. 

    He does need it checking out but it is very hard to approach as men are stubborn and he will find it embarrassing and be very self conscious. 

    Huge huge xx

    Ps If you want to pm me feel free

    • Like 1

    If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites

    Agree with others - could be a sign of something more serious - best to get checked out, he'll have noticed things himself (perhaps he's keeping things to himself and there are other things happening)?  Visit your GP - some tests/scans may be in order.

    • Like 1

    I just want PIO to be a happy place where people are nice to each other and unicorns poop rainbows

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    7 hours ago, Parley said:

    Is stammering the same as stuttering ?

    Maybe they changed the name. Definitely see a doctor as could be a warning sign of something like Parkinsons.

    I was thinking similar, or ms, or mini strokes. 

    Probably want a general medical and health check, blood pressure etc.

    Also, stress is a funny thing. I live with very high levels of stress. I work in production support. It's like an A&E department for computer systems. I have incurable cancer. My wife has had cancer. My youngest has health issues. I'm fine with it. But a month ago I was subjected to a huge increase in work, and I broke. I found I was crying on the way to work, tears flooding down my face.

    What made it worse was my boss was on holiday, I was doing his job and mine, and I was being passively aggressively harrassed by the big boss.

    I finished the extra workload, at a cost. Then when my boss came back I laid it out that this wasn't acceptable. I then became ill with a bad cold, and promptly took holiday after that.

    Just because you live with constant high stress it doesn't mean that you don't have a limit. 

    • Like 7

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites

    Thank you for all of your wonderful responses it means more than you can know.  I don’t think it’s a stroke, but to be honest his health has been up and down for a couple of years and we have not been able to get a final diagnosis, I think he’s just completely fed up waking up every day and not feeling normal that it’s dragged him down.  However, the stammer alarmed me, and he hobbles along sometimes because as he says ‘he just aches everywhere’, I’ve noticed a limp and a sideways way of walking, I really don’t think stroke, but I’m thinking something neurological that’s affecting his motor coordination.  He spends his weeks flying all over OZ, he struggled to continually adjust to the time zones, he can fly back to Perth and land at 10.30pm, meaning he’s not in bed until midnight and his bosses over east don’t think twice about 8am conference calls which means Perth time he has to be in the office ready by 5am, I think stress is playing a massive part but some of his symptoms make me feel there is a little Morehouse going on.   But, he’s not been right for a while, had many tests, he’s been under a specialist endocrinologist who has been monitoring him for carcinoid syndrome but so far on that front all has been positive.  I will encourage him to see the GP about the stutter/stammer, I know he’s feeling equal parts embarrassed and frightened xxxx

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    On 29/04/2018 at 02:12, Chickbock said:

    My first thought would be not to play it down. Sugar coating it means that it will take longer for him to get the help he needs.

    Mental health is a minefield. You say he functions well at work. How do you know? I work in a very stressful environment, no one would know that it is eating away at me insides and I hate it with a passion I feel trapped unless I actually told some one (which I do). This then creeps into other areas of life so I cannot switch off properly let at home.

    I also do think that mental health is an area we need to explore, it’s effects can be very physiological and I think it’s something we need to look into, many thanks for your comment, it all helps xxxxx

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Posted (edited)
    On 4/30/2018 at 22:31, Phoenix16 said:

    Thank you for all of your wonderful responses it means more than you can know.  I don’t think it’s a stroke,

    I hope you get to the bottom of it.   It's good to hear he is having tests so, fingers crossed, they'll work it out soon.

    When I said stroke, I was thinking more of a TSI 

    https://strokefoundation.org.au/About-Stroke/Types-of-stroke/Transient-Ischaemic-Attack-TIA

    They are so quick, most people don't recognise they've had one.  The effects can be transient too, or eve non-existent - but sometimes an effect will linger (like a stammer).   TSI's aren't a big deal in themselves, but the worry is that someone who's had a TSI is likely to have more, or even have a full-blown stroke, so they are treated as warning signs and taken seriously.

    The other thing is, I wonder if it's severe sleep deprivation?   I've never heard of it causing a stammer, but there's growing evidence that not getting seven or eight hours' sleep a night can cause severe health problems.

    Edited by Marisawright
    • Like 1

    Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

    "The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites

    How is he going @Phoenix16 hope he is getting help. Men can be very stubborn.

    • Like 1

    If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    On 09/05/2018 at 17:07, The Pom Queen said:

    How is he going @Phoenix16 hope he is getting help. Men can be very stubborn.

    He’s being stubborn! He’s more upbeat these days, he’s focusing on his diet and trying to be as healthy as he can, work is grinding him down, particularly the travel, I’m just trying to make life as easy as possible for him and ensure his down time is quality time where he gets the opportunity to relax.  I honestly do think the stress/pressure he’s under at the moment is causing many of his issues so I’m doing everything I can to make home his sanctuary and place of peace.  We both know he can’t sustain this forever and I think we will make some big decisions when he gets through the current demanding work pressures that are linked to a specific contract negotiation that is finally reaching a positive resolution, there will be some breathing space after that and I think it’s the time we will have a chat about some big changes! It looks like I might finally get my nursing career off the ground (worse time ever in the industry to graduate as a nurse!!) which could possibly allow him to step back a little.  Will keep you posted and thank you so much for your thoughts xxxxx

    • Like 2

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites

    Create an account or sign in to comment

    You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

    Create an account

    Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

    Register a new account

    Sign in

    Already have an account? Sign in here.

    Sign In Now

    ×