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The Pom Queen

Moving Back to the UK from Australia - Positive Stories

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hi, 

This is a great read. I have lived here for 7 years. I moved here when I was 22 with my then fiance now hubby. He has a great career out here that is transferable to anywhere but mine has yet to take off, and then I ended up having 2 beautiful babies. I have sailed on ever since telling myself that Australia is better for my kids and that we earn more money here then we ever did or could at home- but we also spend a lot more. We have wonderful friends and a great life. I spend most mornings with my toddlers walking along the promenade coffee in hand and kids on scooters/bikes. I also wrack myself with guilt during this time that I still feel like there is something missing. I just can't settle! When we visit the UK it is such a horrible feeling getting on the plane to come back to Aus. Last time we were home my babies were playing with their six cousins and I realised I just felt really lonely and isolated and I'm not sure I want to work through that anymore. 

Today, hubby and I have made the bold move toward getting back to the UK. I'm excited and terrified. Did anyone ever really really worry about it being the wrong decision? I hate that I can't be clear about this- made worse by people in the UK saying constantly 'are you crazy?!'. They see my life here as paradise. I'm so stressed out!

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23 minutes ago, tiffanylm said:

hi, 

This is a great read. I have lived here for 7 years. I moved here when I was 22 with my then fiance now hubby. He has a great career out here that is transferable to anywhere but mine has yet to take off, and then I ended up having 2 beautiful babies. I have sailed on ever since telling myself that Australia is better for my kids and that we earn more money here then we ever did or could at home- but we also spend a lot more. We have wonderful friends and a great life. I spend most mornings with my toddlers walking along the promenade coffee in hand and kids on scooters/bikes. I also wrack myself with guilt during this time that I still feel like there is something missing. I just can't settle! When we visit the UK it is such a horrible feeling getting on the plane to come back to Aus. Last time we were home my babies were playing with their six cousins and I realised I just felt really lonely and isolated and I'm not sure I want to work through that anymore. 

Today, hubby and I have made the bold move toward getting back to the UK. I'm excited and terrified. Did anyone ever really really worry about it being the wrong decision? I hate that I can't be clear about this- made worse by people in the UK saying constantly 'are you crazy?!'. They see my life here as paradise. I'm so stressed out!

The fact that you and your husband have agreed this together makes a huge difference IMHO.

I'd not listen to people in the UK who think you are a bit bonkers for moving back. Its your life, you are the ones living it, not them. They haven't left the security of their own country to live elsewhere and I don't think therefore are really in a position to know what migrating can do to you, even if you appear to them to have it all. 

Don't panic or stress about it, embrace the changes, the new plans and look forward, not back. There will be bumps in the road, the logistics to iron out, but you'll get there. And together, which is the most important thing ? You both want this, that is a big thing right there. If you are both on the same page, in agreement with the reasons to leave Aus, I'd say you've every chance of finding it a good move back the other way.

 

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51 minutes ago, tiffanylm said:

Today, hubby and I have made the bold move toward getting back to the UK. I'm excited and terrified. Did anyone ever really really worry about it being the wrong decision? I hate that I can't be clear about this- made worse by people in the UK saying constantly 'are you crazy?!'. They see my life here as paradise. I'm so stressed out!

People in the UK think you're living "Home and Away", so of course they think you're crazy.  They see your life as a paradise because all they can think about is sun and the beach, but you know that's not what life is about. You've clearly given Australia a red hot go and you know it's not for you. Don't let other people talk you out of it!

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Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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1 hour ago, tiffanylm said:

hi, 

This is a great read. I have lived here for 7 years. I moved here when I was 22 with my then fiance now hubby. He has a great career out here that is transferable to anywhere but mine has yet to take off, and then I ended up having 2 beautiful babies. I have sailed on ever since telling myself that Australia is better for my kids and that we earn more money here then we ever did or could at home- but we also spend a lot more. We have wonderful friends and a great life. I spend most mornings with my toddlers walking along the promenade coffee in hand and kids on scooters/bikes. I also wrack myself with guilt during this time that I still feel like there is something missing. I just can't settle! When we visit the UK it is such a horrible feeling getting on the plane to come back to Aus. Last time we were home my babies were playing with their six cousins and I realised I just felt really lonely and isolated and I'm not sure I want to work through that anymore. 

Today, hubby and I have made the bold move toward getting back to the UK. I'm excited and terrified. Did anyone ever really really worry about it being the wrong decision? I hate that I can't be clear about this- made worse by people in the UK saying constantly 'are you crazy?!'. They see my life here as paradise. I'm so stressed out!

Who gives a toss what other people may say about your decisions about your lives?  I agree that many think Australia "is" Home and Away  or Wanted Down Under and cannot see that real life is a very different proposition. Make sure you have your Australian citizenship all sorted before you leave - belt and braces!!!

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9 hours ago, tiffanylm said:

hi, 

This is a great read. I have lived here for 7 years. I moved here when I was 22 with my then fiance now hubby. He has a great career out here that is transferable to anywhere but mine has yet to take off, and then I ended up having 2 beautiful babies. I have sailed on ever since telling myself that Australia is better for my kids and that we earn more money here then we ever did or could at home- but we also spend a lot more. We have wonderful friends and a great life. I spend most mornings with my toddlers walking along the promenade coffee in hand and kids on scooters/bikes. I also wrack myself with guilt during this time that I still feel like there is something missing. I just can't settle! When we visit the UK it is such a horrible feeling getting on the plane to come back to Aus. Last time we were home my babies were playing with their six cousins and I realised I just felt really lonely and isolated and I'm not sure I want to work through that anymore. 

Today, hubby and I have made the bold move toward getting back to the UK. I'm excited and terrified. Did anyone ever really really worry about it being the wrong decision? I hate that I can't be clear about this- made worse by people in the UK saying constantly 'are you crazy?!'. They see my life here as paradise. I'm so stressed out!

It’s YOUR decision as a family alone! Don’t listen to anyone else, family, friends or even us lot on here. No matter what one person tells you another person will say something different. As others have said perhaps your friends and family have never moved away from home so of course they are going to think you’re crazy, but they haven’t walked in your shoes, they will never truly know what it is like.

 Yes, of course you worry that it is the right decision but if it truly is, as ours was, then you will FEEL it. We made the move last year after 10 years and are happy we did. Of course there are bumps in the road but they were there when we moved to Australia too and you overcome them because it’s part of the journey and the adventure. Wishing you lots of luck. Any advice just shout, you can PM me too if you like. Julie. 

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16 hours ago, Quoll said:

Who gives a toss what other people may say about your decisions about your lives?  I agree that many think Australia "is" Home and Away  or Wanted Down Under and cannot see that real life is a very different proposition. Make sure you have your Australian citizenship all sorted before you leave - belt and braces!!!

Apart from my immediate family I never gave a toss what anybody else said about whatever decisions I made in my life.  Luckily my immediate family were very supportive with any decisions I made.  Outside of my family, it's nobody's business what I do with my life.

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On 27/05/2018 at 05:21, suesmalls said:

Can I ask is there a post for those that moved from Aus to England and finding it hard to settle - not to rant about why but to explain why and find out ways of overcoming some issues?  I read no negative comments so I'm not wanting to rock the boat?

There was one started but it had very little response.


Drinking rum before 11am does not make you an alcoholic, it makes you pirate..

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5 hours ago, Perthbum said:

There was one started but it had very little response.

Actually, I'm pretty sure the reason this thread was started was because there were too many negative posts on the subject, and it was felt there needed to be a forum of positive experiences to counteract them.

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Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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On 30/06/2018 at 03:36, Marisawright said:

Actually, I'm pretty sure the reason this thread was started was because there were too many negative posts on the subject, and it was felt there needed to be a forum of positive experiences to counteract them.

I think @suesmalls is technically Australian, her parents were English and she has never lived in England. She has moved here with her English husband and is looking for some advice on settling in when England is not her home. She is not looking to be negative just wants advice. 

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Hi, we are moving back, and I'm technically Australian too!  If you can choose to be an Aussie (which most of you have done for at least a while), then you can certainly choose to move to the UK and consider yourself English.  I've lived in both countries, throughout my 20's and early 30's in the UK and 15 years in Aus.  My wife is English and we both miss many things, seasons, sophisticated culture, old friends, big family... and we get to go back and live in the UK and see it "afresh", nothing like leaving somewhere to have a fresh appreciation for it.  We'll be living in the Home Counties in time for the school year to start in September.

It's worth going back a lot (!) before you make the decision though.  Both countries are wonderful, but people make the mistake of moving from great areas here to frankly difficult areas there - friends of mine are constantly comparing the Manly to Manchester.  That's like comparing Kensington to Sunderland... just too different.

Here's what I love about the UK (the list is equally long for Australia too!): the endless meg-city nature of London right in the centre of the world, country walks, long grass without snakes and spiders, weekends in Paris, endless places to visit within a few hours, history history history, market towns, farm produce, TV, real seasons, a 6 week lead-up to Christmas, fireworks on guy Fawkes night and old friends and family who knew you when you were too young to be pretending to be anything other than who you are deep down...

Good luck with your decisions and remember, you can always come back.  But don't underestimate just how expensive the whole endeavour is!

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On 15/06/2018 at 02:43, Martinbjulieb said:

It’s YOUR decision as a family alone! Don’t listen to anyone else, family, friends or even us lot on here. No matter what one person tells you another person will say something different. As others have said perhaps your friends and family have never moved away from home so of course they are going to think you’re crazy, but they haven’t walked in your shoes, they will never truly know what it is like.

 Yes, of course you worry that it is the right decision but if it truly is, as ours was, then you will FEEL it. We made the move last year after 10 years and are happy we did. Of course there are bumps in the road but they were there when we moved to Australia too and you overcome them because it’s part of the journey and the adventure. Wishing you lots of luck. Any advice just shout, you can PM me too if you like. Julie. 

Well said.  I find that British people like to put the UK down because it helps validate their decision to live here, rather than celebrating both countries.  Most people who do that do tend to come from an area that they dont want to go back to, or have an Australian partner who would not move, so they don't really have the choice anyway... viva la choix!  (and ok, that''s probably terrible French, but I'm sure it will get better with France on our door-step when we move!).

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Sydney was ok, not my kind of place.  Totally the opposite of what I imagined it to be.  But I had a couple of mates I worked with who lived in the 'Bra and Coogee (eastern suburbs). I spent a little bit of time going around the place with my aussie work mate,.  Probably that was the only parts of Sydney I thought were okay... Surfing though is strictly for 'Locals Only'.  

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We ae moving back to the UK in a few weeks and yes there are certainly things that we are going to miss about Sydney. One of the main this is what we class as real Asian food. Yes it is nice in the UK but for some reason it seems to be more authentic here. We will miss our life and our place. We will not miss the heat and the sweating so much, but we will be leaving g with four days memories. Australia had been good to us and our third child was born here. All our kids have both UK and Australian passports, so they can come back when they want. We would like to come back at some point but for now we need to go home. The one thing that we will not miss is the long flight back to the UK every Christmas. With a new born that is a real bit of a pain.

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Family of five now with our one son living in the UK

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57 minutes ago, Phil & Vikki said:

We ae moving back to the UK in a few weeks and yes there are certainly things that we are going to miss about Sydney. One of the main this is what we class as real Asian food. Yes it is nice in the UK but for some reason it seems to be more authentic here. We will miss our life and our place. We will not miss the heat and the sweating so much, but we will be leaving g with four days memories. Australia had been good to us and our third child was born here. All our kids have both UK and Australian passports, so they can come back when they want. We would like to come back at some point but for now we need to go home. The one thing that we will not miss is the long flight back to the UK every Christmas. With a new born that is a real bit of a pain.

I’ve done nothing but sweat since I got back at the end of June! ? It’s due to cool down from tomorrow. I’ll be back on here in February whinging about the cold/wind/snow/rain! 

Have a safe trip!

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I’ve done nothing but sweat since I got back at the end of June! It’s due to cool down from tomorrow. I’ll be back on here in February whinging about the cold/wind/snow/rain! 
Have a safe trip!
Cheers. We have heard that it has been a good summer. Shame to not be there enjoying the long summer evenings in a country beer garden.
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Family of five now with our one son living in the UK

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Hi Everyone, lovely to read so many positive comments about returning to UK.  I was trying to sell our house so we could go but it just wouldn't sell despite all our efforts and price reductions.  As the hankering/homesickness is still there I am about to try again.  We thought we'd be home by last Christmas but the best laid plans...  If it doesn't sell this time we'll probably give up.  

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12 minutes ago, Beckfield said:

Hi Everyone, lovely to read so many positive comments about returning to UK.  I was trying to sell our house so we could go but it just wouldn't sell despite all our efforts and price reductions.  As the hankering/homesickness is still there I am about to try again.  We thought we'd be home by last Christmas but the best laid plans...  If it doesn't sell this time we'll probably give up.  

I remember your posts from the last time.  You may find you have more luck this time if you start with a low price.  Sometimes it's counter-productive if you start at a high price, then keep reducing - people will hold off thinking that you'll just keep on reducing the price.  

I repeat my offer of contacting me privately.  First step - let me know what town you're living in so I can take a look at property values.  

I can't remember if I asked last time - did you prepare your house before they took the pictures?  By which I mean:

  •  ruthlessly declutter every single room (pack everything non-essential in boxes and put the boxes in the garage, or in storage somewhere);
  •  remove every single photo and picture of yourself and your family;
  • get the garden and the house looking immaculate.

Then once the pictures are all taken, keep it looking exactly the same until the house sells.

People should be able to see past your stuff but they don't.  They just don't. 


Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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21 hours ago, Beckfield said:

Hi Everyone, lovely to read so many positive comments about returning to UK.  I was trying to sell our house so we could go but it just wouldn't sell despite all our efforts and price reductions.  As the hankering/homesickness is still there I am about to try again.  We thought we'd be home by last Christmas but the best laid plans...  If it doesn't sell this time we'll probably give up.  

Hi Beckfield I was feeling the same but we managed to sell ours this July after being up for 6 months even though we've lost money but it means we can go back to UK  Just hang in there I was getting really down about it all having the home opens every week was getting stressful but dont give up it takes just the one person to like your home and put in an offer x

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Paul (40), Lesa (41), Jason (12) and Jamie (10)

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@paulswin   Great to hear you sold..  you know how it feels, so frustrating isn't it?  Mine was on for almost a year.  You must be so excited about going back.  I think you were wise to not hang out for the highest price, but to take what was offered, so you can get on with your own plans.  Hope it all goes really well and your children settle well into their new life.  All the best.

 

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On 02/09/2018 at 18:25, Marisawright said:

I remember your posts from the last time.  You may find you have more luck this time if you start with a low price.  Sometimes it's counter-productive if you start at a high price, then keep reducing - people will hold off thinking that you'll just keep on reducing the price.  

I repeat my offer of contacting me privately.  First step - let me know what town you're living in so I can take a look at property values.  

I can't remember if I asked last time - did you prepare your house before they took the pictures?  By which I mean:

  •  ruthlessly declutter every single room (pack everything non-essential in boxes and put the boxes in the garage, or in storage somewhere);
  •  remove every single photo and picture of yourself and your family;
  • get the garden and the house looking immaculate.

Then once the pictures are all taken, keep it looking exactly the same until the house sells.

People should be able to see past your stuff but they don't.  They just don't. 

Thanks Marisawright, I've done all the above and have someone who's good at this stuff looking at it for me.  Haven't listed it for sale again yet.  Appreciate your help, thank you.  Here's hoping!!  

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We are in the process of getting the hse ready, man what a job to get going great advise Marisawright. Anyone have any experience of settling 15yr old back into school in UK, we have been here almost 15 yrs so im worried that about my timing being off. Thanks

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6 hours ago, Kazla said:

We are in the process of getting the hse ready, man what a job to get going great advise Marisawright. Anyone have any experience of settling 15yr old back into school in UK, we have been here almost 15 yrs so im worried that about my timing being off. Thanks

Well, you can't go back in time, and if you wait a few more years it will only get worse, so now is the best time to go.  If your child has thoughts of going to university, you need to get back and establish residency now (there's a 3 year residency rule). 


Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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Sorry, double posted for some reason.

Edited by Marisawright

Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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This is us too right now. Replacing carpets tomorrow then the real estate photos are scheduled for Tuesday. Grateful for a long weekend in which to declutter, although I'm sure I'll be in for a few tense negotiations with the kids over what is actually "essential" and "non-essential" bedroom items ... 

Kazla, I too have a 15 year old whose birthdate is one month off the cut-off date for current Year 10 so she should technically be going into UK Year 11. (She's currently in Australian Year 9 and has been at the same school since kindy). I've spoken to a few schools in the UK about her joining the year below her chronological year group  - the majority of them have the infuriating "computer says no" attitude. However, two have agreed that to join Year 11 from overseas in January, then sit GCSEs in May is madness and will allow her to join Year 10.

You will need to contact the schools individually and then apply to the County Council (if going state) no more than 8 weeks before you want your child to start.

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On Saturday, June 09, 2018 at 10:36, Toots said:

When we lived in Perth over 30 years ago there were huge numbers of Poms living there - suburbs full of them.  Still don't know why they all chose Perth rather than the east coast.  We were in Sydney for a year before we moved to Perth.  OH had a job to go to and I went after him - on the Indian Pacific train.  It was the same price as flying in those days.  We were in Perth for approx 4 years then there was a real slump so we moved back to Sydney and never looked back.  I did really like Perth though.  I had my two babies there so I was kept very busy with one thing and another plus I made a couple of very good friends so I had no chance to get bored     ................................  beats me why so many people label Perth as boring but there you go.

When we emigrated we picked Perth because we liked the climate, houses weren't as expensive as Sydney or Melbourne, we always wanted to live close to the coast.

There are heaps of poms here but we didn't know that till we arrived. It's not a factor anyway. We have a huge circle of friends from Aussie, UK, South African and other backgrounds. The thing that makes us friends are similar interests. Mostly surf club and sports related and we all enjoy the WA lifestyle.

We hadn't been to Aus before and a reccie would have been expensive. We just thought that's the place we like the look of best and we made the right choice for us.?

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