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Banana707

Well looks like I've finally done it

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So after a few years of posting on here I am now on my way to the airport to head back home.

Mixed emotions. My dog and my fiance have stayed as he does not want to go back but I just missed home too much and can't cope with saying so many goodbyes.

Hopefully I can love being home right now it just feels gut wrenching to leave.

 

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I hope it all goes well for you and you find what you are looking for. 

I know it hasn't been an easy decision but you won't know until you try. Once back, you could find it helps resolve all those things, it may not. Just take it one day at a time and if you need to make changes then don't be afraid to do so. 

 

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(((((((Hugs)))))))))

It's never possible to be sure, but having read your posts, I'd say you are doing the right thing.

I think I've been in a similar situation where I had to choose - do I want to sacrifice my identity for the sake of a relationship, or do I sacrifice the relationship so I can feel like myself again?

It's never an easy decision but what helped was to think to myself, "If I stay, how will I feel in 30 years' time?"   Because that's what staying means - what's the point of saving the relationship unless you're prepared to make it a lifetime commitment?  Even though half of me still felt like sticking it out, my heart sank to my boots at the thought of that life sentence, and that's what gave me courage to leave.

The very best of luck

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Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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Good luck! Onwards and upwards and this will give you the clarity to decide where your priorities really lie, with being yourself or bending to the will of someone else.  Have a safe flight and some (((hugs)))

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Huge hugs hun. You will feel terrible for the first few days, maybe weeks/months but go easy on yourself. We had another member on here who returned leaving her partner behind, it was so hard for her but you should see her life now. I’m so proud of her and what she has achieved. 

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If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.

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On 09/04/2018 at 02:19, Marisawright said:

(((((((Hugs)))))))))

It's never possible to be sure, but having read your posts, I'd say you are doing the right thing.

I think I've been in a similar situation where I had to choose - do I want to sacrifice my identity for the sake of a relationship, or do I sacrifice the relationship so I can feel like myself again?

It's never an easy decision but what helped was to think to myself, "If I stay, how will I feel in 30 years' time?"   Because that's what staying means - what's the point of saving the relationship unless you're prepared to make it a lifetime commitment?  Even though half of me still felt like sticking it out, my heart sank to my boots at the thought of that life sentence, and that's what gave me courage to leave.

The very best of luck

This is what made me finally decided to go to. I couldn't do australia forever

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On 09/04/2018 at 04:33, The Pom Queen said:

Huge hugs hun. You will feel terrible for the first few days, maybe weeks/months but go easy on yourself. We had another member on here who returned leaving her partner behind, it was so hard for her but you should see her life now. I’m so proud of her and what she has achieved. 

Thanks. Yes it feels pretty terrible but but I just keep telling myself that 6 months from now it will be different.

Is the other member still on the forum. Would love to message them.

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