Have we made a mistake of returning to the uk?!

[bunbury61]

18 hours ago, HarryofEngland said:

Hi Anna,

I've been here 18+ years. 

For about 5 years I was quite happy, my daughter was doing well in a private school and we had a good social life with many of the other parents, incidentally mostly expats. Once she left school, as a matter of fact an amazing number of the couples we were friends with divorced, moved out of the area etc etc.

I then realised Australia was not for me. I just don't and never will feel I belong or can relate to the 'culture/mindset' of Australians. Anyway, most of my family and my wifes joined us here including Mums and Dads and to be honest I was stuck here. I feel that Australia and Australians are so intense about itself/themselves it seems sometimes almost that nowhere else in the world exists. Every time I talked about leaving I got 'What about your parents, what about your daughter etc' 

Last year I told my fantastic wife enough was enough. But the same ties came up 'What about your parents, what about your daughter etc'. I have to say were are nearer retired.

So we have decided to spend our years between UK/Europe and back here to see parents and my daughter. I would not come back other than for family ties. What I get from Australia, the climate, I can get most of the year in The Med. Greece Italy etc. What I get there is the history, cultures, food etc and variety I don't get here. Conversation that goes beyond the weather and 'we need rain'.

Not sure if you live out of Australia for a long time if you loose your citizenship? My sensible wife has said that one day we my reach the stage (or run out of money) where we don't want that long flight and we may wish to live here with our daughter. 

We are home from Jan-April, I was going to stay longer and do some travelling but feel a bit selfish so now back in April. We share caring for Mum-in-Law (94) with her other daughter. There are lots of positives here and anywhere. One of mine is having spent lots of time in Asia, Laos, Cambodia, Thailand, Vietnam and the lovely country, history and food there.

Hope it all works well for you. Life is so short do what makes you best happy.

Good Luck

bloody hell harry ...I have a mom here in the u.k ,so often in my mind ...always in my mind ,is " what about mom " .....and in terms of the Aussies , I got on really well with most of them , probably because I didn't try to be like them ...and boy did I give as good as I got ...but it was the poms I found strange ...some of them really strange ?

 

I get what you mean about the culture in Europe harry .

as you are fully aware ...europe isn't 2 weeks on the costa del sol ?.

we love Italy ...and I know people that love Greece for the very same reasons ...

art , culture , history , its the depth of it .

I hope you find some peace harry

[bunbury61]

1 minute ago, bunbury61 said:

bloody hell harry ...I have a mom here in the u.k ,so often in my mind ...always in my mind ,is " what about mom " .....and in terms of the Aussies , I got on really well with most of them , probably because I didn't try to be like them ...and boy did I give as good as I got ...but it was the poms I found strange ...some of them really strange ?

 

I get what you mean about the culture in Europe harry .

as you are fully aware ...europe isn't 2 weeks on the costa del sol ?.

we love Italy ...and I know people that love Greece for the very same reasons ...

art , culture , history , its the depth of it .

I hope you find some peace harry

harry - that's why I say to people returning - EVEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE U.K , LOOK AROUND YOU - EUROPE IS ON THE DOORSTEP - USE THE U.K AS A BASE AND F..K OFF WHENEVER YOU CAN .

FLIGHTS ARE CHEAP ...AIRPORTS ARE CLOSE .

WHEN YOU COME HOME ...OPEN YOUR BLOODY EYES ....We have had some great times in Europe ....the food , the scenery ,the enviable lifestyle , art, culture ,

people from Austria and Germany will pack a small bag , and have a long weekend in Rome or lake garda ...lucky sods ?

 

You could be in Milan - Rome - lucerne - Paris - Munich, Monaco ....and loads of others in 3 hours ....dont get me started ?

flights are pennies from the u.k ...do it !

And when you get too old or tired to do that , then pack your bags and drive around the u.k ...scotland ...wales ..Devon ..cornwall ...north yorks ....cumbria

the worlds your lobster Rodney

[MARYROSE02]

Being able to spend a few months of the year in both countries sounds pretty good to me - in summer anyway - the life of a professional cricketer, or even a surf lifeguard spending their northern summers in Cornwall. I could handle June to September in the New Forest.

I don't really get the "Aussie v Pommie" them and us thing,  except perhaps during the Ashes. Perhaps it's different living in Sydney where so many of the people I interact with are neither English or Aussie,  though their kids are. 

The three cafes I frequent are run by Vietnamese,  Chinese, and Ukrainians. My hairdresser is Chinese. My tax agent from Bangladesh.  My work colleagues are Philippines, Indian,  Sri Lankan.

There's no Europe on our doorstep but there's all the Pacific nations, some of which I've visited. Fiji, Vanuatu,  New Caledonia (still part of France so you can get yr French fix without a 24 hour flight.) I could handle a month on Noumea, the capital,  as I could do so in Suva, capital of Fiji.Then there all the Asian countries to visit too. My brother has learnt to speak Mandarin and is presently on China.

I've emigrated three times now, England to OZ, OZ to England,  England to OZ and I don't know if I could handle the upheaval a fourth time. The roots might not take this time.

[grizzly111]

Harry you are absolutely correct! Mes sentiments exactement!

Australia has so much going for it, yet I have come to realise from sheer unfortunate experience (after years of denial) that:

In Australia, being a bogan is celebrated. Bogan behavior is endorsed. The continual act of staring up at the underbelly of mediocrity is considered OK. People shy away from taking personal responsibilty for their actions. Tall poppy syndrome is rife. Being successful just isn't the done thing in Australia! Being cultured, academic and even wealthy (and showing it) really gets under a true blue Aussie's skin. Some areas are better than others, sure, but I've lived all around Australia save for WA & ACT, worked as an employee and an employer, both in cities and regionally and honestly, apart from the weather, there ain't much difference.

I also share in your opinion of the bogan Aussie mindset - they are like the teenagers of the world - hate to be challenged, still have a long way to mature and think they are best at everything!

Harry - good luck!

Edited November 17, 2017 by grizzly111

[Guest263228]

10 minutes ago, grizzly111 said:

Harry you are absolutely correct! Mes sentiments exactement!

Australia has so much going for it, yet I have come to realise from sheer unfortunate experience (after years of denial) that:

In Australia, being a bogan is celebrated. Bogan behavior is endorsed. The continual act of staring up at the underbelly of mediocrity is considered OK. People shy away from taking personal responsibilty for their actions. Tall poppy syndrome is rife. Being successful just isn't the done thing in Australia! Being cultured, academic and even wealthy (and showing it) really gets under a true blue Aussie's skin. Some areas are better than others, sure, but I've lived all around Australia save for WA & ACT, worked as an employee and an employer, both in cities and regionally and honestly, apart from the weather, there ain't much difference.

I also share in your opinion of the bogan Aussie mindset - they are like the teenagers of the world - hate to be challenged, still have a long way to mature and think they are best at everything!

Harry - good luck!

Australia is very conservative. But the tall poppy syndrome is hardly unique to Australia. UK suffers it as well. But I would question to what extent this 'syndrome' still dominates cultural and social thinking? Nor do I agree about being successful. if anything Aussies have become increasingly 'up themselves' and very much into materialism and ostentatiousness can equally be observed here as anywhere else, along with the shallowness that accompanies that. 

[bunbury61]

25 minutes ago, Pura Vida said:

Australia is very conservative. But the tall poppy syndrome is hardly unique to Australia. UK suffers it as well. But I would question to what extent this 'syndrome' still dominates cultural and social thinking? Nor do I agree about being successful. if anything Aussies have become increasingly 'up themselves' and very much into materialism and ostentatiousness can equally be observed here as anywhere else, along with the shallowness that accompanies that. 

that's probably the americanisation of Australia that what you are talking about ....big house ...big boat ...big car ...having to bust your ass to pay for them, up to your neck in debt ....it doesn't wash with me ...you are just working for the man .

Britain is also different , we have a class system , unlike the u.s and oz ....although the haves and have nots is becoming very apparent in oz as well

Britain , did go through I touch of the living beyond your means in the 90s -00s ...i personally had two friends under 25 at the time ....no major overheads ( house ,marriage etc ) , who were bankrupted , because they " gave it the big one " and couldn't afford it

 

there is a lot less of that now

1- the banks are very tight now

2 - most people I know , are living within their means

 

when I see someone in a Ferrari ,I don't have a grain of envy ....its not my bag .

ultimately , its nothing to do with money or status ,

[MARYROSE02]

I thought "bogan" was just the Aussie word for a "chav!?"

But I suppose finding extreme difference between two sets of very similar people , assuming we are talking about white Brits and Aussies, is the mark of someone who just has not settled.

 

I'll be in Surry Hills hotel tomorrow night watching the N London derby and there will as usual be an even mix of Poms and Aussies and I won't be able to tell the difference. I imagine it will be the same in the Gooner pub.

[starlight7]

Have to say the people I know in Melbourne are far, far more 'cultured' than the Londoners I once knew.  They are into ballet, opera, visiting art galleries etc and of course good food and good coffee. It depends who you meet of course!

[grizzly111]

Interesting thoughts. Chavs vs Bogans. I think chavs have a worse reputation, but never met one. I'm not sure they are on the same level. Bogans tend to be employed??

 Have to say, the coffee in Australia is indeed very good!

[bristolman]

5 minutes ago, grizzly111 said:

Interesting thoughts. Chavs vs Bogans. I think chavs have a worse reputation, but never met one. I'm not sure they are on the same level. Bogans tend to be employed??

 Have to say, the coffee in Australia is indeed very good!

Most bogans in Queensland seemed to be very averse to the idea of work lol. 

[bunbury61]

4 hours ago, starlight7 said:

Have to say the people I know in Melbourne are far, far more 'cultured' than the Londoners I once knew.  They are into ballet, opera, visiting art galleries etc and of course good food and good coffee. It depends who you meet of course!

no , we haven't got any of those in London ???

[Toots]

So now we are onto bogans v chavs.  Gimme strength.  

[ali]

44 minutes ago, Toots said:

So now we are onto bogans v chavs.  Gimme strength.  

'Twas inevitable I fear toots.

[HarryofEngland]

On 16/11/2017 at 01:44, bunbury61 said:

bloody hell harry ...I have a mom here in the u.k ,so often in my mind ...always in my mind ,is " what about mom " .....and in terms of the Aussies , I got on really well with most of them , probably because I didn't try to be like them ...and boy did I give as good as I got ...but it was the poms I found strange ...some of them really strange ?

 

I get what you mean about the culture in Europe harry .

as you are fully aware ...europe isn't 2 weeks on the costa del sol ?.

we love Italy ...and I know people that love Greece for the very same reasons ...

art , culture , history , its the depth of it .

I hope you find some peace harry

I agree somewhat about POMs here. I meet a lot from all over the UK. I have no problem with those who believe it was the best move of their ;life, or those half and half, and those who are unsure if they made the right move. Good luck to them I hope they are happy and all turns out well whatever they do.

I do detest the POMs who slag of the UK, call it a shithole  and I have met plenty.

I suspect these people have niggling doubts or are nor quite sure about a lifetime here.

To these I say to these people that Australia did not pay your Visa Fees. it did not pay for your move here, it did not provide you the means to come here and buy a lovely home, 4 wheel drive perhaps jetski, it didn't educate you or give you free health care or put a fantastic police for to keep you safe, it didn't provide an fantastic armed forces/defence to keep you free. Britain did.

I hope these people are very happy and have a great life here.

Just don't slag off the country that made it possible.

[Toots]

2 minutes ago, HarryofEngland said:

I agree somewhat about POMs here. I meet a lot from all over the UK. I have no problem with those who believe it was the best move of their ;life, or those half and half, and those who are unsure if they made the right move. Good luck to them I hope they are happy and all turns out well whatever they do.

I do detest the POMs who slag of the UK, call it a shithole  and I have met plenty.

I suspect these people have niggling doubts or are nor quite sure about a lifetime here.

To these I say to these people that Australia did not pay your Visa Fees. it did not pay for your move here, it did not provide you the means to come here and buy a lovely home, 4 wheel drive perhaps jetski, it didn't educate you or give you free health care or put a fantastic police for to keep you safe, it didn't provide an fantastic armed forces/defence to keep you free. Britain did.

I hope these people are very happy and have a great life here.

Just don't slag off the country that made it possible.

Maybe those people moved from a horrible inner city type of place though.  Personally I haven't met people who slag off the UK like that and I certainly don't either.  I will always have a very soft spot for the UK especially Scotland.

[bristolman]

9 hours ago, Toots said:

So now we are onto bogans v chavs.  Gimme strength.  

Blame Maryrose I'm afraid lol I'm not sure why a comparison was made. 

[bristolman]

30 minutes ago, HarryofEngland said:

I agree somewhat about POMs here. I meet a lot from all over the UK. I have no problem with those who believe it was the best move of their ;life, or those half and half, and those who are unsure if they made the right move. Good luck to them I hope they are happy and all turns out well whatever they do.

I do detest the POMs who slag of the UK, call it a shithole  and I have met plenty.

I suspect these people have niggling doubts or are nor quite sure about a lifetime here.

To these I say to these people that Australia did not pay your Visa Fees. it did not pay for your move here, it did not provide you the means to come here and buy a lovely home, 4 wheel drive perhaps jetski, it didn't educate you or give you free health care or put a fantastic police for to keep you safe, it didn't provide an fantastic armed forces/defence to keep you free. Britain did.

I hope these people are very happy and have a great life here.

Just don't slag off the country that made it possible.

Unfortunately we met quite a few Brits that were more than happy to tell anyone that would listen how terrible the UK was. We had a friend who was a recent migrant over for a BBQ on day, he was telling everyone how you couldnt do this or that back in the UK, mostly because it rained every day. Almost all the things you couldn' possibly do in the UK we had in fact done lol. It's often down to ingratiate themselves with the Aussies. 

[Peach]

11 minutes ago, bristolman said:

Unfortunately we met quite a few Brits that were more than happy to tell anyone that would listen how terrible the UK was. We had a friend who was a recent migrant over for a BBQ on day, he was telling everyone how you couldnt do this or that back in the UK, mostly because it rained every day. Almost all the things you couldn' possibly do in the UK we had in fact done lol. It's often down to ingratiate themselves with the Aussies. 

you do lay it on thick lol.

[bristolman]

3 minutes ago, Peach said:

you do lay it on thick lol.

Yeah whatever, the truth hurts sometimes lol

[Toots]

14 minutes ago, bristolman said:

Unfortunately we met quite a few Brits that were more than happy to tell anyone that would listen how terrible the UK was. We had a friend who was a recent migrant over for a BBQ on day, he was telling everyone how you couldnt do this or that back in the UK, mostly because it rained every day. Almost all the things you couldn' possibly do in the UK we had in fact done lol. It's often down to ingratiate themselves with the Aussies. 

Yes, well we tended to steer clear of a lot of Poms just for that reason.  Some of them were loud mouthed know it alls and I mean LOUD.  

[Peach]

5 minutes ago, bristolman said:

Yeah whatever, the truth hurts sometimes lol

Your 'truth' has a habit of making you unwelcome at forums such as this one though doesn't it?....

[bristolman]

5 minutes ago, Toots said:

Yes, well we tended to steer clear of a lot of Poms just for that reason.  Some of them were loud mouthed know it alls and I mean LOUD.  

Yeah you get them in all nationalities unfortunately,  we steered well clear of them as well. 

[bristolman]

1 minute ago, Peach said:

Your 'truth' has a habit of making you unwelcome at forums such as this one though doesn't it?....

I couldn't care less, the actual truth is unpopular with some it seems. 

[Peach]

2 minutes ago, bristolman said:

I couldn't care less, the actual truth is unpopular with some it seems. 

I know I wouldn't want to post somewhere that had made it clear they didn't want me.

[bristolman]

2 minutes ago, Peach said:

I know I wouldn't want to post somewhere that had made it clear they didn't want me.

Why should I care that some don't want me ? Are you bothered that many don't like you ? It's an internet forum, who cares. My friends are in the real world.