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EmmaGiggles85

Why am i reading so many "moving back to the UK posts??

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I dont know if ive put this in the correct forum or not, but im getting a bit unnerved reading so many posts about poms moving back to the UK.

 

We are in the early process of applying for permanent visas etc as some of you may be aware from previous posts on here. The OH and i feel silly enough that we have never visited Oz and yet feel like we belong there.... but doubt has set in over such a huge decision and when i come on here, all i see at the moment are poms desperately trying to get back home. So obviously my niggling doubt of uprooting our three sons is setting in and taking note of these posts.

 

All friends and family are pro emigrate and we dont receive much help from family or friends here for us to miss it in Oz. All family and friends that matter are already making plans to visit anyway [emoji23] and we just feel a huge pull there (melbourne).

 

Are we just completely mad and naive?? Xx

 

Thanks, Emma x

 

 

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Please keep in mind that many who are happy in Aus don't tend to post often on the forum or jump up and down yelling about it as perhaps those who are unhappy or finding it tough going. Many are here and happy and quietly living life away from PIO I can assure you :) I'm one of them, my family too are loving it and settled. I don't come on here and wax lyrical about life or make it out to be some kind of utopia (neither the UK or Aus are perfect, each has plus and negatives and all that, it's how you feel about those things and how you cope with differences and changes, some for the better, some not) nor do I miss the UK or hanker to return. Coming up 4 years here now and honestly never looked back since we arrived. It's been a great move for us and have no regrets. I visit PIO to try to help others where I can :)  

Also often those that return are genuinely unhappy in Aus for any number of reasons. Often it's homesickness, missing loved ones and lack of work that have people returning. And they then come here to help research their return, to plan and find to find a bit of support. 

You should really focus on your story IMHO. Of course reading negative posts or returning stories in the run up to getting a visa or when planning a move can and may well be unsettling. Even I had a few 'WTH' moments when reading all the negativity but knew myself well enough to know to not dwell on it and to go with what we wanted. It can cause you to second guess or doubt but I really do think you have to trust yourselves more. If you both want this and it's a long held hope, can secure a visa and have savings and a decent plan of how to approach and hopefully deal with everything migrating can throw at you, you should go with what you feel is right for you. 

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Hi Emma

Over the years the forum has always gone through stages. At the moment with Brexit, the exchange rate and visa changes people seem to have put their plans on hold.

You also find that throughout life in general we always seem to focus on the negatives over the positives. 99% of the members could love Oz but we focus on the 1% who don't. Plus it's usually them who shout the loudest. 

You will also find a large number of people use the forum to get their visas but then once here go off and enjoy their new life and don't update us with how much they are enjoying their life down under.

Some people do return, in the past there was no support for these members and as they would tell you "they got shot down by the pro Aussies and called failures" as a forum we decided it was unfair and that everyone's opinion was valid. We therefore started a Moving Back section on the forum which these members embraced. To be honest this section still causes us problems as it is hard when some members say Australia is terrible yet they may not have travelled to most of the areas and are focusing on one or two suburbs in one state. I personally find it difficult to accept their views on a country I love. Some may have not even lived here for the last 10 years but still stay on the forum. 

At the end of the day we are all different Emma, personally I love Australia. Some areas more than others. Try and ignore the negativity and focus on you as a family and the reasons you are making this move. 

It is a wonderful country, you will have doubts it's normal, I had plenty.

 

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If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.

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2 hours ago, EmmaGiggles85 said:

 

I dont know if ive put this in the correct forum or not, but im getting a bit unnerved reading so many posts about poms moving back to the UK.

 

We are in the early process of applying for permanent visas etc as some of you may be aware from previous posts on here. The OH and i feel silly enough that we have never visited Oz and yet feel like we belong there.... but doubt has set in over such a huge decision and when i come on here, all i see at the moment are poms desperately trying to get back home. So obviously my niggling doubt of uprooting our three sons is setting in and taking note of these posts.

 

All friends and family are pro emigrate and we dont receive much help from family or friends here for us to miss it in Oz. All family and friends that matter are already making plans to visit anyway emoji23.png and we just feel a huge pull there (melbourne).

 

Are we just completely mad and naive?? Xx

 

Thanks, Emma x

 

 

We emigrated sight unseen,  never regretted a single day.

Often it's down to people and not the place.  If you're independent, single-minded and realistic, you can have a great life. 

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"Nationalism is an infantile disease, it is the measles of mankind." Albert Einstein

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You’ve never visited but you feel like you belong there? I think I would be a bit concerned too! When I was about 12 I was certain that I belonged in Australia too. I’d seen Robert Mitchum (my heart throb of the day) in The Sundowners and just knew it was for me. That’s about as ridiculous as someone watching WDU and H&A these days and “falling in love” with the place. But in my defenceI was only a kid. On my first holiday to Aus as a student I met and fell in love with the Aussie chap I married 44 years ago and though we lived in PNG and UK at first we ended up in Australia in the longer term (32 years). Our family is now split - one son UK (better opportunities, love of his life, good career, own home), other son Australia (series of disasters for him but he says he’s happy enough) we are currently in UK caring for elderly relatives. My grandkids will never live on the same continent.

I have no idea what, exactly, you think is going to make Australia the place of your dreams but, bottom line, it’s just another first world country with all those first world country problems, too many immigrants, crap government, limited opportunities, overcrowded cities, soulless suburbs, rife drug use, homelessness, too high taxation, rampant consumerism etc etc that all other first world countries have. You don’t become miraculously wealthy overnight, your kids don’t magically acquire IQ points or good looks on the flight over, you still have to work (with fewer holidays), pay the bills, clean the bathroom. You’ll do it on your own, isolated from your folk, it’ll take “just” a 24 hour flight to get back to them but in reality that’s actually going to be at least 4 day’s by the time you’ve organised and got going so hope you never need to get back in a hurry and it’ll cost you thousands for the pleasure.

Im not saying don’t go. If you have a yen for adventure then by all means give it a crack. But don’t expect it to be a squeaky clean “new life” with everything looking like it does on the telly. Expect to have to be fiercely independent, expect it to split your family (once you give your kids a taste of adventure they do tend to scatter to the 4 winds), expect not to have those close friendships with lifelong mates, don’t expect the House with pool overlooking to beach unless you’re well minted, don’t be surprised if you feel colder than you ever did in winter or hotter than you’ve ever been in summer. Don’t be surprised if you can’t get a job for months, don’t be surprised if the locals couldn’t give a toss that you’re British, you’ll just be another bloody immigrant to them. The friends that say they’ll visit rarely do.

I tend to think that if you’re of an adventurous frame of mind then there’s nothing wrong with a good adventure. If you like it, you win. If you hate it you move on, the trick is to realise if it’s working for you and it’s the best thing since sliced bread you’re home free but if it isn’t working then don’t keep on bashing your head against the brick wall but move on before you get stuck and you drift past the point of no return (financially, emotionally, family ties etc). Nothing has to be forever just don’t burn your bridges in the process of trying - don’t quit your jobs, take a career break, don’t sell your home, etc

It’ll either work or it won’t but it’ll be an adventure. You don’t have to stay there forever

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........if it feels right now....

........do it

.......better than what if down the track

.......but be prepared as we age

........priorities change

.......a young family

.......up for an adventure in a new place can have a wonderful life with a positive attitude

.........accept the differences

........look for alternatives to what you miss

........but remember you rang the changes

........you chose to move

........live for the reasons why...for the now

........children grow up and move on

........elderly relatives left behind

........might become your priority .....

........look at it for now

........and enjoy all it has to offer

.......I spend my time now visiting the four corners of the world

.......and all inbetween when I can

........family scattered all over..

........having g visitors for weeks and months

.........it's the family times such as christmas

........weddings and christening and sadly funerals that being away can hit hard

.........try and have a plan in place to be able to go back if you really feel the need

.........just for the above

........some say you should give it 2 years

........others more

........personally I'd say you know if it fulfills all your wants and needs...in less

.........life's to short to be in the wrong place..

.........good luck..!

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I am someone who has moved back and regularly posts in the UK areas. 

First, we spent eight happy years in Oz  

The vast majority of members are in Oz and very happy there. 

I do though think Quolls post is very good. How do you know you belong somewhere you have never even visited? It is not like what you see on TV any more than the movie Brigadoon is a good representation of Scotland. It is very easy for Brits to think that in Oz they will spend their days by the beach throwing another prawn on the barbie. In reality you go to work, clean the toilet, do the shopping and all the same stuff that modern life entails. 

This does not mean you shouldn't go, but you should have a good picture of what it is all about and understand why you want to go. 

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You should read the pros AND cons intently and make an informed decision.  Try to asses the character of the posters of the pro aus posts (and vice versa) and ask yourself "are they like you?"   Take advice from people more like you.  For example those saying they love it may be older or less attracted to the social scene, if that isn't you ignore that particular post.

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I have browsed the forum over different periods and have noticed shifts like The pom queen says. I have also noticed recently that the UK Chat section seems to be the most frequently updated. This will often be very pro UK as this is the choice people have made. Whatever decision people make in life they will seek confirmation that it is the right one. Somewhat ironically, it is also where I have heard for the first time about recent large scale terror attacks in the UK. Those who dislike the UK may comment on how these attacks affect our everyday lives for the worse over here, whereas in reality life is no different and I found out via an Australian forum.

We have a great life here, some aspects may be less desirable in Australia if we go ie. we live opposite a beach here but are looking at an area about 5km inland in Australia. other aspects we hope may be preferable for us (not so cold winters as we are looking at sunshine coast). Here we can surf without threat of sharks but have to contend with ice cream headaches in colder months. pros and cons to each. 

Once we have our visas we will only go if I have a job in advance. We will rent our house out here and aim for 5 years in Australia in which we hope can get citizenship. It is an itch I have always wanted to scratch. I wouldn't move to a lot of areas in Australia however, as I prefer where we are now in the uk. It is a vast place and likes or dislikes for an entire country  can't really be based on one place. 

I feel sometimes that we as a family have gone too far in looking for the negatives in Australia so that we don't have an unrealistic view. It is a confusing time and I know if we do make the move I will have night terrors of 'what have we done'. On the other hand the thought of doing my same job day in day out for the next 30 years fills me with dread - and I love my job! Nothing is forever. If we go we will go with the thought of giving it 5 years. our children are young enough to come back and pick up where we left off. if we love it we will stay.

sorry that was long and rambling and probably no help. your doubts are quite normal. 'It will all come out in the wash'

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I dont know if ive put this in the correct forum or not, but im getting a bit unnerved reading so many posts about poms moving back to the UK.
 
We are in the early process of applying for permanent visas etc as some of you may be aware from previous posts on here. The OH and i feel silly enough that we have never visited Oz and yet feel like we belong there.... but doubt has set in over such a huge decision and when i come on here, all i see at the moment are poms desperately trying to get back home. So obviously my niggling doubt of uprooting our three sons is setting in and taking note of these posts.
 
All friends and family are pro emigrate and we dont receive much help from family or friends here for us to miss it in Oz. All family and friends that matter are already making plans to visit anyway [emoji23] and we just feel a huge pull there (melbourne).
 
Are we just completely mad and naive?? Xx
 
Thanks, Emma x
 
 


I think you need to explain your circumstances more, what your leaving and what your coming to, do you both have jobs in the uk? Have you got jobs lined up in Australia? Etc

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I am amazed when I read about new migrants arriving here then waiting months to find a job.  That would put me into a right tizzy.  Back in the day jobs were very easy to come by.  In fact  I left a job I didn't enjoy on a Friday and had another job lined up for the next week - office admin.  It's not like that anymore.  Not having a job that you enjoy or losing a job and finding it very hard to find another would cause huge stress and would also have had me wishing I hadn't given up a comfortable lifestyle in the UK.  Things here are not like those TV shows or Aussie soapies.

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4 hours ago, Slean Wolfhead said:

We emigrated sight unseen,  never regretted a single day.

Often it's down to people and not the place.  If you're independent, single-minded and realistic, you can have a great life. 

Same with me, never been in my life. Since being here I have travelled thousands of km visited every state apart from SA, lived in various places and apart from my time in Townsville I have loved every second of it.

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1 hour ago, Toots said:

Things here are not like those TV shows or Aussie soapies.

I don't know @Toots sometimes the forum feels like one lol.

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If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.

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I'm a 'love Aus' person who feels very content here, but I know it's not a bed of roses and life wherever you are can throw curve balls that make you re-assess things.  Like you (OP) we didn't have much support in the UK despite having family there, we'd always been a very self sufficient unit and in some ways this probably helped us settle.  We'd visited Aus for 4 weeks in 2005 as a holiday but moved to WA sight unseen - we've never regretted it.

I agree with Simmo about reading posts from both sides and asking if that is relevant for you.  Before we migrated, I used to look for the moving back posts - some we disregarded right away .. e.g. the person who made their mind up they didn't like it on the journey from the airport (in the dark), and the people who couldn't buy English products .... but others were a source of discussion - what would we do if we/kids couldn't settle, missing family/friends etc., 

Embrace the experience, remember that nothing has to be forever and deciding to change your life's course won't mean that you've failed in anyway.

 

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23 minutes ago, The Pom Queen said:

I don't know @Toots sometimes the forum feels like one lol.

:laugh:

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10 minutes ago, ali said:

I'm a 'love Aus' person who feels very content here, but I know it's not a bed of roses and life wherever you are can throw curve balls that make you re-assess things.  Like you (OP) we didn't have much support in the UK despite having family there, we'd always been a very self sufficient unit and in some ways this probably helped us settle.  We'd visited Aus for 4 weeks in 2005 as a holiday but moved to WA sight unseen - we've never regretted it.

I agree with Simmo about reading posts from both sides and asking if that is relevant for you.  Before we migrated, I used to look for the moving back posts - some we disregarded right away .. e.g. the person who made their mind up they didn't like it on the journey from the airport (in the dark), and the people who couldn't buy English products .... but others were a source of discussion - what would we do if we/kids couldn't settle, missing family/friends etc., 

Embrace the experience, remember that nothing has to be forever and deciding to change your life's course won't mean that you've failed in anyway.

 

Another one here who has always been fiercely independent and self sufficient.  Never relied on my family whilst living in the UK and had two babies here with no help at all from friends or family and it didn't bother me as I knew I was perfectly capable of coping.  Good friends who had their babies round about the same time I had mine were very unsettled and eventually moved back to be closer to family.  Everybody's experiences are different.

 

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We’re in the same boat.

Early in the visa process, never been to Aus.

I have a relative there who I’m in regular contact with, but that’s it.

As a family we are very self sufficient, rely on nobody but ourselves, we do have family near by, but we certainly don’t live in each other’s pockets, Skype calls will help stay in touch.

we have no illusions, moving to Aus won’t change us, we love the outdoors, we work bloody hard. We only have a small circle of friends who we see now and then, drinks with work colleagues etc.

we will be selling our home before moving, no intentions of returning. If for whatever reason we decide it isn’t for us, we plan to stick it out to at least get the children citizenship, if nothing it will open doors for them.

some of my friends say we’re mad, moving somewhere we’ve never been, but then they realise, this is exactly who we are and it’s not out of the ordinary for us to do something a little crazy / risky.

we’re only on this planet once, id hate to be laying on my death bed saying I wish I’d done it, instead I’ll be saying, well that was an adventure! 

 

 

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I lived in Sydney for 20 years and  loved the place but 20 years ago I didn't think too hard about how my elderly mother would cope on her own. For starters my dad was still around. Circumstances change. 

And as pomqueen says the exchange rate hadxa big effect.  Thanks to a soaring Sydney  housing market and a big fall in the pound I can afford to move back without worrying about the money side of things. It is a lousy time to sell up and leave the UK conversely it's a grest time to go the other way. Hence the imbalance of people going back. Many who were thinking about it are now putting plans into action

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2 minutes ago, ScottieGirl said:

I lived in Sydney for 20 years and  loved the place but 20 years ago I didn't think too hard about how my elderly mother would cope on her own. For starters my dad was still around. Circumstances change. 

And as pomqueen says the exchange rate hadxa big effect.  Thanks to a soaring Sydney  housing market and a big fall in the pound I can afford to move back without worrying about the money side of things. It is a lousy time to sell up and leave the UK conversely it's a great time to go the other way. Hence the imbalance of people going back. Many who were thinking about it are now putting plans into action

To be honest I have never understood people who see PR as a 1 way move. Things change life moves on, so do we if it suits us. I  have never thought more than 5 years ahead

 

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27 minutes ago, Toots said:

Another one here who has always been fiercely independent and self sufficient.  Never relied on my family whilst living in the UK and had two babies here with no help at all from friends or family and it didn't bother me as I knew I was perfectly capable of coping.  Good friends who had their babies round about the same time I had mine were very unsettled and eventually moved back to be closer to family.  Everybody's experiences are different.

 

Definitely, we can only gain so much from others experiences .. gives us food for thought and a discussion topic of "what if that happens to us - how will be cope/what will we do"  At the end of the day, we can only make the decisions that are going to make a difference to our own lives

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37 minutes ago, Rob-oz said:

We’re in the same boat.

Early in the visa process, never been to Aus.

I have a relative there who I’m in regular contact with, but that’s it.

As a family we are very self sufficient, rely on nobody but ourselves, we do have family near by, but we certainly don’t live in each other’s pockets, Skype calls will help stay in touch.

we have no illusions, moving to Aus won’t change us, we love the outdoors, we work bloody hard. We only have a small circle of friends who we see now and then, drinks with work colleagues etc.

we will be selling our home before moving, no intentions of returning. If for whatever reason we decide it isn’t for us, we plan to stick it out to at least get the children citizenship, if nothing it will open doors for them.

some of my friends say we’re mad, moving somewhere we’ve never been, but then they realise, this is exactly who we are and it’s not out of the ordinary for us to do something a little crazy / risky.

we’re only on this planet once, id hate to be laying on my death bed saying I wish I’d done it, instead I’ll be saying, well that was an adventure! 

 

 

What a fantastic way of looking at it @Rob-oz and I bet you are one of the families who will succeed. Like you, my thoughts were "you only live once" mind you if I had my way I would travel the world. 

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If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.

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22 minutes ago, ScottieGirl said:

I lived in Sydney for 20 years and  loved the place but 20 years ago I didn't think too hard about how my elderly mother would cope on her own. For starters my dad was still around. Circumstances change. 

And as pomqueen says the exchange rate hadxa big effect.  Thanks to a soaring Sydney  housing market and a big fall in the pound I can afford to move back without worrying about the money side of things. It is a lousy time to sell up and leave the UK conversely it's a grest time to go the other way. Hence the imbalance of people going back. Many who were thinking about it are now putting plans into action

That is very true, I think the exchange rate has worked against people moving over but helped others make that decision to go back.


If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.

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1 hour ago, The Pom Queen said:

Same with me, never been in my life. Since being here I have travelled thousands of km visited every state apart from SA, lived in various places and apart from my time in Townsville I have loved every second of it.

I didnt see your fairy foot prints in Tassie?

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1 hour ago, ali said:

 

I agree with Simmo about reading posts from both sides and asking if that is relevant for you.  Before we migrated, I used to look for the moving back posts - some we disregarded right away .. e.g. the person who made their mind up they didn't like it on the journey from the airport (in the dark), and the people who couldn't buy English products .... but others were a source of discussion - what would we do if we/kids couldn't settle, missing family/friends etc., 

Embrace the experience, remember that nothing has to be forever and deciding to change your life's course won't mean that you've failed in anyway.

 

@ali is right in what she says. A number of us have been on the forum for quite a few years, we have seen people come and go, we have seen people start the visa process, make the move, return to the UK and then come back (yes we have a high number of boomerang poms) 

Some of the reasons people have given for going back makes you laugh. A couple that spring to mind

1) They didn't have their daughters brand of cordial

2) It was raining

3) A wage of $200,000 a year wasn't enough and the family were starving and could only eat chips and tomato sauce 

4) It was too cold

5) The relocation package of $50,000, 6 months free accommodation wasn't enough and the company only paid for a weeks car hire.

6) I can't be around people who don't wear shoes 

7) They didn't have any friends (after a week of living here)

8) They didn't have a job after 5 days here

The list goes on. People like that I don't have much patience for.

Most of the genuine reasons are

1) Missing family/friends

2) Ill Health - one poor family arrived and found out she had stage 4 breast cancer

3) Struggle for work - Some people really do struggle, some also expect to land a job in the first week of touching down. It's the same as the UK if you walked out of your current job you would be extremely lucky to walk in to another within 5 days especially if you didn't have experience of the way things work.

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9 minutes ago, Evandale said:

I didnt see your fairy foot prints in Tassie?

Oops I keep forgetting about Tassie, I really do want to visit there.

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