Jump to content

You're currently viewing the forum as a Guest
register-now-button_orig.png
and join in with discussions   
ask migration questions
message other members

..and much much more!

Que Sera Sera

Have told the Children and it went down like a lead balloon!

Recommended Posts

Well we decided to come clean with the children and tell them what we were up to and it went down like a lead balloon. My 7 year old son looked stressed beyond belief,having been told at school that there are huge mosquitos and sharks,snakes and spiders there, and my 14 year old basically said if we go ahead she will hate me forever. What a lovely start to the weekend!

I kinda thought this might happen but, I blindly hoped they would say "oh how exiting when do we go!"

Any advice gratefully recieved.:cry::arghh:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Jaynie

Try and come over before you make the big move, you may have to validate the visa and this would be a great opportunity, we did this and I put my daughter into school, she was 10yrs old at the time, she loved it and when we came over for good she settled in really well.

 

Tell them that you have been on here and read all the threads about snakes and spiders etc., and that they probably won't get to see them unless they go to a reptile park or something similar.

 

Hope it all goes well for you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest brooksey

Our 13 year old went silent and as white as a ghost when we told him we'd been accepted. He knew that we were trying but i don't think he realised that we meant it until that moment.

As Jaynie says we had been to Perth a couple of times and on one visit we sent Jimmy to school for a couple of days and he loved it.

Real problem came 6 weeks ago when we decided that we were going to Brisbane instead (for work reasons). having never been to Brisbane its a leap into the unknown and Jimmy said he was going to live with his grand parents in Sheffield. Over the last 5 weeks he has come around to the idea and is now looking forward to it.

We told Jimmy why we were going to Brisbane and if we do'nt like it we'll go to Perth and if we don't like Perth we'll come back to Sheffield.

 

Good Luck

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Quentin Wilson
Well we decided to come clean with the children and tell them what we were up to and it went down like a lead balloon. My 7 year old son looked stressed beyond belief,having been told at school that there are huge mosquitos and sharks,snakes and spiders there, and my 14 year old basically said if we go ahead she will hate me forever. What a lovely start to the weekend!

I kinda thought this might happen but, I blindly hoped they would say "oh how exiting when do we go!"

Any advice gratefully recieved.:cry::arghh:

My child almost ran away when I came over. She's still very angry, but less so. Time cures all ills.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Catherine and Matt, it is a difficult one, three of my children spend alot of time with their grandparents, where they will stay over for a couple of nights a week. Cameron my 8 year old especially has spent alot of his childhood staying with my parents, due to my work commitments and the fact that he loves going, so he is saying that he doesn't want to live in Oz plus it doesn't help that my parents do keep on to him saying "you don't want to live in Australia" so it has caused alot of arguements. I have suggested to him now that he has to go over to validate visas as and when we get them, if he still doesn't want to stay then i will let him live with my parents. I really can't see the point of making him unhappy because then he will never forgive me. A toughie i know but i'm hoping it will be ok.

Good luck

Tania X


Is looking forward to the future and all what it holds:biggrin:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest kdal

Sorry to hear your news did not go down to well. It is difficult for teenagers/children as they really have not got a choice, they have to do what us adults say.

 

If you know what area you are going to, why dont you look on right move and show your children the type of house that you are looking for , also contact a school and say that you are moving to Australia and that your children are apprenhensive is it possible for them to try and put them in contact with a pen pal. Try and involve the children as much as you can.

 

My boys are 14 and 16 and they really cant wait to go, we went to Australia for Christmas 2006 and they loved it. Not sure if there are any poms in oz meets in your area but if there are then go along and take the children as they will meet other children in the same position as them and hopefully they may pal up with someone. If there are no PIO meets organised in your area then put a thread on here and get one arranged, it will be good for yourselves as well as the children.

 

Good luck and hope they come round !

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest traybears

hi,im Sure It'll Get Better With Time.give Them Time To Get Use To It.mine Would Still Rather Stay Here If Given The Choice But They've Excepted That We Going Anyway.but Your Probably Find They Wouldn't Want To Move Anywhere Even Up The Road If It Meant Changing Schools And Friends! Good Luck,tracy.xx.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi all thanks for the advice. We don't know where we will be living yet as that will depend on where hubby gets a job. We really are open to anywhere.So can't really sort out schools or reccies until we know more.

I wasn't going to tell the children yet but, because we have to do TRA refs it means that friends and family would find out beacause some of them have worked with my husband at various times.

I think I will now just keep quiet about it. The seed has been sown as it were.

My daughters father already lives in Australia with my eldest daughter and his sister lives in Australia and his mother both my daughters grandmother is in the process of moving there too!

So (sorry it complicated!) my 14 year old will have no choice but to come with us as she has no one else to stay with. :chatterbox:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Lori

I do feel for you but I am sure it will all come out in the wash, my 14 yr old daughter said she would never move anywhere let along Oz but since finding out is desperate to go, I haven't mentioned it to my 11 yr old yet as we still have not gone public at this stage, I was really worried about my teen now shes fine I am worried about the younger one, shes due to start senior school in Sept, so she will prob get settled there and then the bomb shell, hoping the trip at Xmas will do the trick.

 

All I will say is just keep dropping positives into the situation and they will rub off I'm sure, kids are amazing and can change just like that, my eldest did and I couldn't believe it, there is always hope.

 

Good luck

Lori

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Team 'W'

Hi

 

We pretty much had the same situation - kids (9,7) refused to go point blank when we first mentioned it in January. But 6 months on of mentioning it on and off, watching anything Oz on TV, showing them info on the net and it's a whole different ball game.

 

We had a family meal out earlier in the week and the kids both said they are looking forward to going! (never thought I'd be hearing that)

 

We found that by telling them it's not forever if we don't like it we can always come back to the UK and back into their old schools, they found it much easier to deal with.

 

My best advice is to make them feel part of the decision both going and if you need to come back. You need to sell them Australia to get there and make it clear that it is a family decision to come back if you can't settle. It won't happen over night but they will change in time.

 

Good Luck

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with everyone on this, it is very difficult for kids to come to terms with. We told our kids 10 and 7. The 10 year old said he wasnt going and that was just for a holiday to begin with!!! He said he would stay with his nan and no one could make him go. The 7 year old (who I thought would be much worse) actually said he didnt mind as long as he could take is Nintendo DS and have an insect net over his bed at night!!!!!

 

We have involved them all the way, they know what our plans are and the 10 year old is definately coming to terms with it more. Asking questions and looking at stuff on the interenet. Time is definately a good thing in this situation and plenty of research for the kids to see what kind of life they could have to that of the UK.


"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Quote from Ferris Bueller.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Karen K

I really feel for you XX I was lucky my kids then 16, 13 and 11 were thrilled and still are infact they are so keen and driving me mad i might leave them behind.......not really, no need to ring soical services LOL. My advice (it may have already been given) would be to let them join PIO and talk to the younger members, or ask on MSN for Aussie kids born in the UK to chat with them and offer advice etc. Good luck, you are doing the right thing and i am sure they will love you for it one day LOL XXX

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with Karen K, my kids have joined PIO and it is making the process more of a reality for them. They have more of an insight to life in Australia now that they have made some good friends on PIO and MSN.

 

Debbie

xx


27.01.08 Made decision to move to oz, 10.04.08 Appointed Agent, 27.11.08 ACS application sent, 28.02.09 Passed ACS, 11.03.09 Visa applied for - 175/CSL-IT, 27.08.09 Case Officer, 25.09.09 - VISA APPROVED, YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest cantwait
I agree with Karen K, my kids have joined PIO and it is making the process more of a reality for them. They have more of an insight to life in Australia now that they have made some good friends on PIO and MSN.

 

Debbie

xx

 

 

 

Same here. If you include them they get excited about the move. My kids also come on here and speak to some of the PIO kids on MSN.

 

Karen

X

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest KP Nuts

Hi there, we didn't tell our kids until we had passed the TRA's, but once we did the eldest boy (14) couldn't wait, and the twins (11) (1 boy and i girl) the boy once over the upset of leaving auntie Jan was ok but the girl, "you can't possibly take me away from my friends" (watch me Emma) but now, I would say she's coming around to the idea a little more, still not happy, but not so dead against it now, and that's a year on.....

 

But as the others have said, get them some friends on here in the young section.

 

Good luck

 

KP Nuts

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks everyone,I have an update!:yes: Yes thats a big smile. My 7 year old son was watching me on the real estate page looking at houses and he looked over my shoulder as I was looking at a lovely house near the beach with a canal for fishing NSW and he got all excited asked where it was and when I told him he said" Ok, we can go and live there so long as the mosquitos dont bite me!" RESULT (now how do I get over the mosquito thing, lie?):twitcy:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My daughter was 10 when we first mentioned it and promptly burst into tears and asked how could we make her leave her whole life behind. We promised we would tell her everything we were doing and involve her. We made sure we allowed her to time to talk about 'not wanting to leave her mates' etc.. By the time we arrived, she had a pen pal at the school she was going to settled in really well. My son who was 6 at the time, thought we were going for another holiday.

 

Ali


I just want PIO to be a happy place where people are nice to each other and unicorns poop rainbows

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest majortom57

When we decided to come to Australia we knew it would split our family up. There was 6 of us in the household which included my 2 eldest girls who are now 25 and 23.

 

Getting the visa in affect made our 2 eldest homeless so to speak, so it was quite a big decision to make. As they were both independant children they couldn't come with us, plus they both had long term relationships with thier boyfriends.

 

Our then 17 year old son resented the idea of Australia from the word go, and when we arrived all he wanted for his 18th birthday was a one way ticket back to Kent.

 

His schooling took a nosedive and he was very upset about leaving all his mates in the UK. But the good news is that over a period of about 6 months that all started to change. He is a very popular lad (must be the accent !!) and has plenty of mates and is always out on Saturday nights hitting the hotspots of Adelaide.

 

The last one in our family is my 6 year old daughter, who now calls herself an aussie !!!.....she has taken to schooling so well and is doing really well. She has a big aussie twang in her speech and also is very popular judging by the amount of parties that she has attended.

 

My 2 daughters in Kent are now living in a rental together, and although we all had xmas 2006 together in Adelaide, that was the last time we were all together. We ring them every week and miss them to bits. But this is our life, and they have thiers.

 

Only hope is that we are all together again real soon........

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
When we decided to come to Australia we knew it would split our family up. There was 6 of us in the household which included my 2 eldest girls who are now 25 and 23.

 

Getting the visa in affect made our 2 eldest homeless so to speak, so it was quite a big decision to make. As they were both independant children they couldn't come with us, plus they both had long term relationships with thier boyfriends.

 

Our then 17 year old son resented the idea of Australia from the word go, and when we arrived all he wanted for his 18th birthday was a one way ticket back to Kent.

 

His schooling took a nosedive and he was very upset about leaving all his mates in the UK. But the good news is that over a period of about 6 months that all started to change. He is a very popular lad (must be the accent !!) and has plenty of mates and is always out on Saturday nights hitting the hotspots of Adelaide.

 

The last one in our family is my 6 year old daughter, who now calls herself an aussie !!!.....she has taken to schooling so well and is doing really well. She has a big aussie twang in her speech and also is very popular judging by the amount of parties that she has attended.

 

My 2 daughters in Kent are now living in a rental together, and although we all had xmas 2006 together in Adelaide, that was the last time we were all together. We ring them every week and miss them to bits. But this is our life, and they have thiers.

 

Only hope is that we are all together again real soon........

 

You are so right it is our life too and if I was not so sure that this would be a good move I wouldnt put them through it. My eldest daughter (17) already lives in Brisbane with her father so hopefully we shall all soon at least be in the same country which will be great. Like you say kids grow up and then they leave home, and like my eldest they may decide to live somewhere else but at least we did it for us. My daughters schooling has really picked up in Australia too. I think it helped that they are a year behind so she had to repeat a year as it were. Thanks for the advice.:spinny:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×