Tricky situation

[WaywardPom]

Hi Ssiri

I left the UK in 2014. I'm not expecting the UK to magically solve all issues and somehow be a perfect life. I want my family around. I want to be able to see them often and to have them near while my child is small. I think that's a trade off thats worth it for having to exchange for all the crappier parts of the UK compared to Aus.

I have no family pressure whatsoever and never have. In hindsight we should have gone to the UK straight from leaving Canada instead of to Aus. 

I think husband is coming around to the idea. He has initiated a couple of conversations and sorting his passport application out.

I really don't want to leave before the baby is born. I would only have a couple of months and I think it would make me more stressed. I would rather wait it out to see how I still feel after its born, and to have more money etc. I'm just gonna have to trust my husband 

[ssiri]

Hi Ssiri
I left the UK in 2014. I'm not expecting the UK to magically solve all issues and somehow be a perfect life. I want my family around. I want to be able to see them often and to have them near while my child is small. I think that's a trade off thats worth it for having to exchange for all the crappier parts of the UK compared to Aus.
I have no family pressure whatsoever and never have. In hindsight we should have gone to the UK straight from leaving Canada instead of to Aus. 
I think husband is coming around to the idea. He has initiated a couple of conversations and sorting his passport application out.
I really don't want to leave before the baby is born. I would only have a couple of months and I think it would make me more stressed. I would rather wait it out to see how I still feel after its born, and to have more money etc. I'm just gonna have to trust my husband 

All the best, to you and your family to be - what ever you decide. [emoji106]


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[Guest]

4 hours ago, WaywardPom said:

Hi Ssiri

I left the UK in 2014. I'm not expecting the UK to magically solve all issues and somehow be a perfect life. I want my family around. I want to be able to see them often and to have them near while my child is small. I think that's a trade off thats worth it for having to exchange for all the crappier parts of the UK compared to Aus.

I have no family pressure whatsoever and never have. In hindsight we should have gone to the UK straight from leaving Canada instead of to Aus. 

I think husband is coming around to the idea. He has initiated a couple of conversations and sorting his passport application out.

I really don't want to leave before the baby is born. I would only have a couple of months and I think it would make me more stressed. I would rather wait it out to see how I still feel after its born, and to have more money etc. I'm just gonna have to trust my husband 

I'm glad you have come to a decision of sorts and that your husband is slowly getting his head round things. He was probably all set in his mind that he was back home and you were on board with it and so finding out you are not happy and would like to go back to the UK was probably a bit hard to get to grips with. It can take people a little time to have the idea sit and form, to work through things. Its good he is sorting out his passport and things like that. Plus he is going to be a Dad and that can bring a lot of thoughts and worries in itself. 

I hope once you've actually set on a plan or way forward it'll help take the pressure off yourself and you'll feel a little more able to cope with things. 

As I said before, if you can work together, realise its give and take and that sometimes one is going to have to be the one to give far more on something, it should hopefully work. There is no crystal ball and as you say, you are going to have to trust your husband. I think its a big positive you feel you can and that he is not shutting the door on anything for you re a move to the UK for a while. 

If you ever want to talk, feel free to drop me a PM. Am always happy to listen. 

 

[Collie]

Glad that you have decided to put any potential move off until after the baby the born.

IME the healthcare in Australia around maternity care was top class, couldn't fault it at all.

Focus on the baby now and I wish you & your husband a happy and healthy pregnancy.

[Sarahelle]

Hey, sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I'm in a very similar situation but I've been here 7 years at the end of this month. I just had my second little girl 13 weeks ago and have suffered depression since then. I'm on antidepressants now. It might have been triggered by the birth but I know I've been battling the fact that I'm so unhappy here for a long time now. I really feel quite desperate sometimes because I have a horrible feeling I'm going to be stuck here forever. 

My husband is Australian so it's almost impossible for us to go back home. I guess I'm at a bit more of an advantage because he would move to the uk with me (he lived there for 8 years and misses it too) he has no ancestry as his only link would be great grandparents. He is the high earner so it would be pointless me leaving my children to try and get a job there. 

I can't offer any advice really, just to let you know that I know exactly what you're going through. People sometimes dismiss homesickness but it's a very real and horrible thing. I want to go home so badly. 

I hope you can find some way to get back and I wish you all the best. 

X

 

[Guest]

I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds like it's taken a huge toll on you. I do hope you're able to find peace and please try to take care of yourself. 

This might come out the wrong way and I really don't mean it to, however the father of the wee one to be has equal rights and should also have a voice about where the baby should be born.