Scousers1 Posted August 5, 2017 Author Share Posted August 5, 2017 On 3 August 2017 at 13:06, Gbye grey sky said: Remember that when you return to England now you are on holiday and your mates will treat you as such. I am finding it hard to fathom from your posts how you would envisage your routine if you were unencumbered and could simply return. Would it be several nights a week down the pub or social club? Would that work for you? Clearly you are in a rut and struggling to find something worthwhile to fill your time now you are no longer working. I sympathise but suspect that this is not an issue which would simply vanish wherever you may be without some impetus from you. It does sound as though you are stuck where you are for the time being at least so suggestions about hobbies, part-time work or voluntary work are your best bet. Good luck with it. I imagine if i returned to basically go back to my old life, i would love to be in a position to catch up with my friends from school once a month or so. ( they have been doing this for the last 5 years monthly) being apart of my school friends life, i missed her wedding and her mum has just died and i feel i am so far away. Plus the family get togethers we have such a laugh when we are all together. We all lived in walking distance from one another so eveeything was so easy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 5, 2017 Share Posted August 5, 2017 Perhaps you should start laying the groundwork for a move back without your daughter in a few years. Give your daughter time to stand on her own two feet and find a place to live (house share, with friends) and move out and then start planning for you and your husband to return to the UK. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottieGirl Posted August 5, 2017 Share Posted August 5, 2017 If you went back how would you deal with your parents still being in Aus? If you get a call to say one of them has had a heart attack or a stroke would you have the funds to jump on a plane, it's much more expensive last minute? How would you cope if they died before you could get back? How would you cope if they need long term care? This may sound harsh but it's the reality of living the other side of the world from elderly parent, seen it happen so many times. You say you are a close family so you need to factor this in to any decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 I think as you get older there is actually too much to do here. Really. The difficulty I find is culling things and organising my social life to minimise stress and only doing the things I really want to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scousers1 Posted August 27, 2017 Author Share Posted August 27, 2017 Have just booked to go over again and taking daughter with me this time. It will be good to see what sh thinks of it one step at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 2 hours ago, Scousers1 said: Have just booked to go over again and taking daughter with me this time. It will be good to see what sh thinks of it one step at a time. She might be mature enough to appreciate it! I do hope so!! Just hook into the things that float her boat be it gigs, history, shopping, fishing, festivals, libraries etc and hopefully get to meet with some of your friends' kids of the same age and you never know your luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aconcannon Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 Book a nice trip away somewhere...lots of planning to do to fill your time before you go & something nice to look forward to. Or, as drastic as it might seem why not move to a different part of VIC or interstate? You'll have plenty of to do then as everything will be new and exciting. All the best x Sent from my iPhone using PomsinOz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scousers1 Posted September 9, 2017 Author Share Posted September 9, 2017 My daughter is now actually looking forward to going over, which is the first time she has ever said that. I am looking foreard to taking her now she is older it should be good to have her there as an adult and not as a child, she may see things differently. However, she has recently opened up about how much anxiety she has with the fact she knows i am not happy in OZ but she would never move there. She says she has seen what living in another country has done to me so she would never do it. This makes me feel a mixture of guilt, sadness etc. she has also started to scratch herself and i am really concerned, she is not seeing friends much although hasnt really ever been all thst social. I am now thinking is this because she has anxiety? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 23 minutes ago, Scousers1 said: My daughter is now actually looking forward to going over, which is the first time she has ever said that. I am looking foreard to taking her now she is older it should be good to have her there as an adult and not as a child, she may see things differently. However, she has recently opened up about how much anxiety she has with the fact she knows i am not happy in OZ but she would never move there. She says she has seen what living in another country has done to me so she would never do it. This makes me feel a mixture of guilt, sadness etc. she has also started to scratch herself and i am really concerned, she is not seeing friends much although hasnt really ever been all thst social. I am now thinking is this because she has anxiety? If she's self harming you really need to get her a referral into young people's mental health services. There could be any number of reasons why she is becoming more reclusive and self harming - professional support is going to be key. Your local Headspace may be a good place to start. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scousers1 Posted September 9, 2017 Author Share Posted September 9, 2017 Thanks Quoll, i have had her see a few psycologists over the last few years and she just doesnt find it helps. She has been on anti depressants for the last two monghs and no help there either, in fact ivthink maybe a little worse. She loves her job which is great. I will ring headspace and see what they say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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