s713 Posted August 7, 2017 Share Posted August 7, 2017 I can totally relate to the OP, albeit we are in Perth. The first 2, 3 even 4 years were great, lots of new stuff, lots of adventures. But realistically, I have struggled since then, and we've been here 10+ years now. We've had some great times here but if I list them as a trade off against what we've missed out on, a bit of nice weather, a few barbies and some travelling doesn't really cut it. I've mentioned in other posts that I have no option of returning now, wouldn't be fair on others so I wouldn't pursue it. But if it was me on my own (well, me and the dogs), I'd be gone tomorrow. I don't want to start a row about where is better, there is no generic right answer to that. But you know in yourself where home is and Australia has left me a bit hollow in that respect, once the 'holiday' ended. Good luck with your move Lady T. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest241083 Posted August 8, 2017 Share Posted August 8, 2017 On 4 August 2017 at 18:59, bunbury61 said: Reading your post , you are doing the right thing . my dad died in 98 , and I was here in the u.k . my mom has been on her own for 19 years , and thank god , she has got my wife alongside her ....not me ,her son ....my wife . my mom is nearly 90 now , she speaks to my wife 3 times a day , and now its coming to the stage , mom needs more care . we do her shopping for her etc ., and al the other stuff she is old school, but she needs us now . I spent the last few years ,angry at my siblings ( they are in oz ) , that had done next to nothing , whilst all the onus was on us . The anger has only recently turned to pity . They have missed the boat now ..........I agree .........do it while you can.... ........as well as those having to return to the uk to look after elderly relatives..... ........there are those stuck here for the same reason..... .........life has a way of entangling us ,family becomes a web that holds us..... ........my parents encouraged us to travel......my two younger sisters do extensively..... ........my mother has conveniently forgot this with me ......I am the eldest therefore here to look after her.... ........go when you can........to where you want to be........the future has a way of pulling us back.....ime... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Tottington Posted August 8, 2017 Author Share Posted August 8, 2017 I can totally relate to the OP, albeit we are in Perth. The first 2, 3 even 4 years were great, lots of new stuff, lots of adventures. But realistically, I have struggled since then, and we've been here 10+ years now. We've had some great times here but if I list them as a trade off against what we've missed out on, a bit of nice weather, a few barbies and some travelling doesn't really cut it. I've mentioned in other posts that I have no option of returning now, wouldn't be fair on others so I wouldn't pursue it. But if it was me on my own (well, me and the dogs), I'd be gone tomorrow. I don't want to start a row about where is better, there is no generic right answer to that. But you know in yourself where home is and Australia has left me a bit hollow in that respect, once the 'holiday' ended. Good luck with your move Lady T.Thank You s713, shame you can not return home, but never say never [emoji5]Sent from my SM-T580 using PomsinOz mobile app 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scousers1 Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 I have 19 year old daughter (only child) who will not leave. How do you become ok with leaving them here? Not critising just trying to figure out how i do this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Tottington Posted December 9, 2017 Author Share Posted December 9, 2017 I have 19 year old daughter (only child) who will not leave. How do you become ok with leaving them here? Not critising just trying to figure out how i do this?Its never ok, it broke my heart, but she is 21 going on 22, she has her own life and is old enough to make her own decisions. We talked about it, cried and decided that she needed to finish her degree at uni, she needed to do her travelling and then she would return to Blighty. If by any chance she does not come back then I will have to reconsider returning. This is her decision, and staying in Oz is a decision made due to circumstances, and I needed to leave as I needed to be near other members of the family that need us and right now she needs to do what she needs to do.But it certainly is not easy, although we will shout her ticket 3x a year to come home, infact she lands back here next Sunday for xmas [emoji7] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scousers1 Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 1 hour ago, Lady Tottington said: Its never ok, it broke my heart, but she is 21 going on 22, she has her own life and is old enough to make her own decisions. We talked about it, cried and decided that she needed to finish her degree at uni, she needed to do her travelling and then she would return to Blighty. If by any chance she does not come back then I will have to reconsider returning. This is her decision, and staying in Oz is a decision made due to circumstances, and I needed to leave as I needed to be near other members of the family that need us and right now she needs to do what she needs to do. But it certainly is not easy, although we will shout her ticket 3x a year to come home, infact she lands back here next Sunday for xmas Si i guess she had already left home ? My daughter is still at home snd i dont see her going anywhere in the near future. When you say she has her own life what exactly does that mean? Sorry, i am so confused on what to do in my life right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Tottington Posted December 9, 2017 Author Share Posted December 9, 2017 Si i guess she had already left home ? My daughter is still at home snd i dont see her going anywhere in the near future. When you say she has her own life what exactly does that mean? Sorry, i am so confused on what to do in my life right now.No she was still living at home with us, we found her a nice apartment and made sure she was set up. She has to live her own life, I cant live my life to suit her, nor would I expect her to live her life to suit me, she is now an adult, can make her own decisions, pay her own bills and be totally independent. Just like I was at 21 going on 22. The question is your happiness too, are you happy there or do you want to be here?? Your daughter then has to decide if she wants to stay in Oz or return, then I guess your daughter needs to be able to support herself should you return and she stay. Its not an easy decision. Its very difficult, it took months to make our decision. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scousers1 Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 49 minutes ago, Lady Tottington said: No she was still living at home with us, we found her a nice apartment and made sure she was set up. She has to live her own life, I cant live my life to suit her, nor would I expect her to live her life to suit me, she is now an adult, can make her own decisions, pay her own bills and be totally independent. Just like I was at 21 going on 22. The question is your happiness too, are you happy there or do you want to be here?? Your daughter then has to decide if she wants to stay in Oz or return, then I guess your daughter needs to be able to support herself should you return and she stay. Its not an easy decision. Its very difficult, it took months to make our decision. Thanks, it just makes me feel better knowing others have been through this. I feel like she is still so young but i am very unhappy here. My parents are here too and are now very unhappy and want to return to the UK. However, i think this will split me and hubby up. I dont think he will leave her here. It is killing our relationship over the last 5 years being here feeling like this. But i really struggle now to do anything. Havent even put an xmas tree up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Tottington Posted December 9, 2017 Author Share Posted December 9, 2017 Thanks, it just makes me feel better knowing others have been through this. I feel like she is still so young but i am very unhappy here. My parents are here too and are now very unhappy and want to return to the UK. However, i think this will split me and hubby up. I dont think he will leave her here. It is killing our relationship over the last 5 years being here feeling like this. But i really struggle now to do anything. Havent even put an xmas tree up!It is so sad to feel so trapped, thats exactly how I felt, trapped, I had anxiety, stopped going out, hated talking to people about how good my weekend was when in actual fact, id been at home all weekend, not seen a soul since leaving work on Thurs till returning to work on Tues, I felt life was passing me by, and I was only existing in a place the sun shined and the sky was blue, but so lonely. Our parents are aging and have some minor health issues and I wanted to be near them, near my life long friends, I wanted to start living again, instead of existing. The way I see it, is you only live once, this is not a rehearsal, life is too short and happiness is priceless. I love my daughter so much, but I also encourage independence and hopefully she will come home, but that has to be her choice, good luck x 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 4 hours ago, Scousers1 said: I have 19 year old daughter (only child) who will not leave. How do you become ok with leaving them here? Not critising just trying to figure out how i do this? You are the lady who had a trip back with daughter to the UK recently? I'm not in your situation, or anything close to it but I would like to offer some suggestions. Your daughter is still young. 19 and perhaps not ready to leave the safety net of home yet. And could be at home for a couple of years yet. Or longer. However, we don't have kids so they can live at home with us their entire lives. Least I don't think so. I think we hope as parents we have done enough to equip our kids with the skills to go out into the world and while taking that first step can be daunting, it should be seen as the start of something, not the end of it. We support and encourage them as they venture out there. At some point, she will have to go out into the world. If she has a job, income and has some savings behind her, there is nothing to really stop her finding an apartment or house share. She may need some motivation to actually get out and live that sort of life but living at home for another 20 years isn't really something that is healthy for her or you IMHO. You want to return to the UK. She at this point in time doesn't want to move or isn't keen. Either way, I'd be honest with her and say you can't keep going as you are. I'd set a time, be it a year, 18 months ahead and say this is when you are planning to go spend some time in the UK. If you don't want to make a permanent move, set it for say a 6 or 12 month stay so you can have a decent amount of time back there to know if its the right move or to decide at the end of it if you stay or return to Aus. And also for your daughter to have that time in Australia to live her life and see where it takes her. Have some time apart and not be in each others pockets or lives day in day out. Give each other a chance to live your own lives a little more. I think you need to break the cycle you are stuck in. think you need to stop using your daughter as an excuse to not do anything (if you know what I mean) and instead focus on doing something proactive and stop making those excuses. Your daughter you say will never leave and you are stuck here in Aus, and you could wheel out excuse after excuse and end up feeling bitter and resentful more and more as time goes on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest241083 Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 ........I really don’t agree with the phrase using your daughter as an excuse tbh! ........it’s a reason....a commitment you feel and want? to adhere to ........that’s what family is about ........wether looking after an aged parent .........or a child not ready to move on .........it’s a choice we make .........but even if we sacrifice some of our own plans .........we have to feel content with it ........there are some that do put others first .........before their own hopes and plans .......that’s life....their choice ..........but be content in your choice ........feeling forced into a situation will result in a sad experience for all involved imo 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest241083 Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 ........a few years ago I was ready and made plans to return to Europe .... .........I had a place to live.... .........some family and friends near .........but my mother who lives here became sick ........a son with health problems ........would they of managed without me? ........of course they probably would .... .........but could I be content not being there in there time of need? .........no......so I made a choice .........and even though here is not my first choice atm .......,.i try and do find contentment in my decision ........yes we only have so many years .......but we are part ,usually of a family ........and sometimes the happiness of the whole....helps the contentment of the individual ime 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramot Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 I think the poster also has a husband and parents in Australia? Not just a daughter? Sorry don't know if her daughter is working and could be self sufficient? We are all different, my husband and I retired to Australia, after almost 10 years living in Asia for work, leaving our 3 children in UK, youngest a daughter then age 22, but she was 13, sons were 19 and 21 when we went overseas for work, the 2 youngest joining us for school/uni holidays, oldest was working. They coped, not easy though at times, but made them very resilient, all 3 working by the time we went to Oz. It was our time to do what we wanted to do, you can't or I think shouldn't live your live your life through your grown up children, but I couldn't have left my husband, it was a joint decision, and sadly neither of our parents were still alive. The unexpected outcome was that our 2 younger children have followed us and settled here. If the OP decides to go to UK on her own, her daughter still has her father and grandparents in Oz? Sorry OP if I have got that wrong. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 1 hour ago, Tink said: ........I really don’t agree with the phrase using your daughter as an excuse tbh! . I did say 'if you know what I mean'. It wasn't meant unkindly. It could be 'reason' or 'excuse'. I opted for excuse as I couldn't think of another word to fit at the time. Its come to me now. But I still applies. At some point each of us needs to take stock and reassess for the next stage of our life. Someone cannot keep saying they are unhappy with their life in such huge impacting ways for so long and not try to do something about it to help themselves. Or they could but then they would carry on being miserable and it would impact on those around them also more and more. Then its not just them any longer but all those around them also suffering, directly or indirectly. I don't believe you should live your life for your kids. Once they are old enough to support themselves and if they are working and have a little something behind them, they can hopefully fly the nest. Its not always easy but isn't that life for all of us. Some may take a little longer to moving out but it isn't healthy in the long term to carry on simply staying put and being miserable yourself because they are still at home well into adulthood (I appreciate some 'kids' have very good reasons for not coping in the world at large and are perhaps better in an environment where they are cared for more but for others, you would hope others who could, would go live their own lives as far as possible). A few years down the road you would hope your kid is building their own life and forging their own path. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toots Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 10 minutes ago, snifter said: I did say 'if you know what I mean'. It wasn't meant unkindly. It could be 'reason' or 'excuse'. I opted for excuse as I couldn't think of another word to fit at the time. Its come to me now. But I still applies. At some point each of us needs to take stock and reassess for the next stage of our life. Someone cannot keep saying they are unhappy with their life in such huge impacting ways for so long and not try to do something about it to help themselves. Or they could but then they would carry on being miserable and it would impact on those around them also more and more. Then its not just them any longer but all those around them also suffering, directly or indirectly. I don't believe you should live your life for your kids. Once they are old enough to support themselves and if they are working and have a little something behind them, they can hopefully fly the nest. Its not always easy but isn't that life for all of us. Some may take a little longer to moving out but it isn't healthy in the long term to carry on simply staying put and being miserable yourself because they are still at home well into adulthood (I appreciate some 'kids' have very good reasons for not coping in the world at large and are perhaps better in an environment where they are cared for more but for others, you would hope others who could, would go live their own lives as far as possible). A few years down the road you would hope your kid is building their own life and forging their own path. I was left home and was sharing a cottage with 3 other girls from the age of 16 - self sufficient from then on. I do realise times have changed but some people still have their 'children' living at home way past 20 years old. Yes, I also know a lot of that has to do with the cost of rents etc etc but also some of them just need to grow up a bit. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scousers1 Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 2 hours ago, snifter said: You are the lady who had a trip back with daughter to the UK recently? I'm not in your situation, or anything close to it but I would like to offer some suggestions. Your daughter is still young. 19 and perhaps not ready to leave the safety net of home yet. And could be at home for a couple of years yet. Or longer. However, we don't have kids so they can live at home with us their entire lives. Least I don't think so. I think we hope as parents we have done enough to equip our kids with the skills to go out into the world and while taking that first step can be daunting, it should be seen as the start of something, not the end of it. We support and encourage them as they venture out there. At some point, she will have to go out into the world. If she has a job, income and has some savings behind her, there is nothing to really stop her finding an apartment or house share. She may need some motivation to actually get out and live that sort of life but living at home for another 20 years isn't really something that is healthy for her or you IMHO. You want to return to the UK. She at this point in time doesn't want to move or isn't keen. Either way, I'd be honest with her and say you can't keep going as you are. I'd set a time, be it a year, 18 months ahead and say this is when you are planning to go spend some time in the UK. If you don't want to make a permanent move, set it for say a 6 or 12 month stay so you can have a decent amount of time back there to know if its the right move or to decide at the end of it if you stay or return to Aus. And also for your daughter to have that time in Australia to live her life and see where it takes her. Have some time apart and not be in each others pockets or lives day in day out. Give each other a chance to live your own lives a little more. I think you need to break the cycle you are stuck in. think you need to stop using your daughter as an excuse to not do anything (if you know what I mean) and instead focus on doing something proactive and stop making those excuses. Your daughter you say will never leave and you are stuck here in Aus, and you could wheel out excuse after excuse and end up feeling bitter and resentful more and more as time goes on. Im not saying she will never leave home but she has only been out of school 12 months, that is not long! She does have a job and money saved as well as she just paid for her own trip to the UK. So is being financially responsible. But doesn't really have reliable close friends around her. She studied so much in high school and neglected her social life which has not been a good thing for her. Your comments have made me realise that if she where to leave home and move on with life i would be more comfortable at home in the UK. My parents are here but elderley and frail and probably wont be around for many more years. Between my parents and my daughter they are the only reasons i am here now. I cannot stay for them any longer. We have a huge family and friends in the UK that i try to get back to as much as i can and i miss that lifestyle terribly. I agree on putting a plan in place for the future. I will discuss this with hubby and daughter soon. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 44 minutes ago, Scousers1 said: Im not saying she will never leave home but she has only been out of school 12 months, that is not long! She does have a job and money saved as well as she just paid for her own trip to the UK. So is being financially responsible. But doesn't really have reliable close friends around her. She studied so much in high school and neglected her social life which has not been a good thing for her. Your comments have made me realise that if she where to leave home and move on with life i would be more comfortable at home in the UK. My parents are here but elderley and frail and probably wont be around for many more years. Between my parents and my daughter they are the only reasons i am here now. I cannot stay for them any longer. We have a huge family and friends in the UK that i try to get back to as much as i can and i miss that lifestyle terribly. I agree on putting a plan in place for the future. I will discuss this with hubby and daughter soon. No its not long. And I wasn't saying you should kick her to the kerb asap or anything But I think for you, its perhaps important to take the initiative and set a time on things for yourself. So that gives others a chance to plan also and work towards something also. If you go back in say 18 months for 6 months, your daughter may carry on living at home, saving and finding her feet a little more. Or she may take the plunge and come with you for a few months, or visit or something else totally different. Perhaps your daughter needs to put some time into rekindling some of those friendships or building new ones? Its not easy but she is at an age where people are pretty fluid with their socialising and drop in and out of things as they head off travelling, are studying or working and so hopefully friends would welcome her reaching out to catch up. Or in making new ones she could develop some relationships that would give her confidence. I know we all want our kids to be happy in their lives. I think they do need to go off and live them though, we can't live them for them. And at what point in adulthood do we need to step back and stop parenting them if they remain at home? We could have kids at home into their 30's and still be tidying up after them, having them around and so on. Is that good for us as we grow older and want to do different things also with our time? We can only watch as they perhaps make mistakes, stumble, get back up to stumble again and get back up again. We can offer our support, our wisdom, our love but ultimately, their lives are theirs for living. I hope when mine is older and ready to head off into the world I will live by my words. I think I will. My mother was the same with me and I am truly thankful she encouraged me to go live my life, even though she may not have always agreed with my choices or directions taken, she was supportive of me getting out there. When I actually left (after study and stuff), I took the plunge, went and lived overseas and ended up being gone for most of my 20's. I had an amazing time, made new friends and lived in some truly wonderful places. Learnt languages, had experiences I'd never have had in the UK and really embraced it all. In fact, once I had gone (I dithered for a fair few months to go or not), the one thought that struck me and stayed with me and I recall so clearly now, 25 years or so later, is 'what took me so long'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest241083 Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 .........when do our children fly the nest..? .........I too was an independent child ......,,,,travelling across the world to school with a younger sister at 8..... .........my children all left home at 17/18 though the youngest is living g part time at home atm .........till next year when he will of left to follow his career .......,,but I know of many whose children are still at home into their late 20’s .........lots of reasons .... ..........is a push needed..? ..........I don’t know .....I don’t think unless we are in that position we do know tbh .........same as elderly parents ..........until the time comes they need help ........can we decide what we will do .........as I’ve said before we have to be content with our choices.....and those of our family .........life’s a web we weave....with many a part of it.... ..........wether the threads are strong or weak...... ........,,often determines our path ime .. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramot Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 (edited) We joke that we the parents kept moving further and further away from our children, but they kept finding us!! I was very independent growing up, had to be latch key kid from about 8, then travelled to France by boat train on my own from age 13 to spend school summer holidays there with a French family that spoke almost no English. Character building stuff. My single mother would probably jailed nowadays for neglect!!! Have to laugh sometimes when I read about the gentle introduction to senior school these days, I went stone cold to senior school in a new area with 2 different London buses to catch. Just going to tune up my violin after this sob story!!! whoops guilty of going off topic Edited December 10, 2017 by ramot 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 Another selfish independent old chook here too and one who encouraged independence in my boys as they were growing up (nothing like giving them hints on their birthdays like a Jamie Oliver cookbook, a frying pan, a set of good kitchen knives etc). They’ve both done their thing, same as I did mine. I’m afraid I went overseas without a thought for my parents and, they, in their turn, sort of expected it of me. They shaped their lives to meet their needs and that was cool with me. That we chose to come and care for them in their last years irritated my demented mother considerably but my more rational dad was essentially grateful that he was able to keep mum at home as long as we did and now he spends his life dozing in his chair and looking out on his garden, waiting for his end of days. I wouldn’t expect my kids to do what we have done and, to be fair, my parents didn’t expect it of us either, it was our choice (not necessarily one I would recommend to the faint hearted). One of our boys now lives in our house - which suits us as it’s not rentable, having only been half renovated but he will be out on his ear when we return. Bottom line you only have one life and you do with it what you choose - I wouldn’t be shaping my life to accommodate my kids once they’ve done with school. If we had wanted to go, we’d have gone (we didn’t at that time) and they would have had the choice to stay or come with us. Interesting that the only guilting we got about our current pathway was from the (now ex) daughter in law who thought we were ignoring the needs of the granddaughters! As we now have grandkids on both sides of the world, there would be no solution to that. I do like the saying from The Exotic Marigold Hotel - it’ll all be alright in the end and if it is not alright then it is not the end. (Sunday morning waffle over!) 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunbury61 Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 20 hours ago, Tink said: ........a few years ago I was ready and made plans to return to Europe .... .........I had a place to live.... .........some family and friends near .........but my mother who lives here became sick ........a son with health problems ........would they of managed without me? ........of course they probably would .... .........but could I be content not being there in there time of need? .........no......so I made a choice .........and even though here is not my first choice atm .......,.i try and do find contentment in my decision ........yes we only have so many years .......but we are part ,usually of a family ........and sometimes the happiness of the whole....helps the contentment of the individual ime bloody hell tink that resonates with me 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunbury61 Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 Just now, bunbury61 said: bloody hell tink that resonates with me p.s god bless you for your selflessness ? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KTM1963 Posted December 13, 2017 Share Posted December 13, 2017 Hi I lived in Melbourne for more than half my life (almost 28 years) and the last 8 were unsettling so came in March this year to test the waters. Have been back every year for 4 weeks. I bloody love it. I'm back in Worcester where I lived before going to Australia and it's just magical. Currently have snow which I love. The weather hasn't been an issue. The cost and quality of life and the small city vibe is what I love. Selling my property in Feb 2018 and using OSS International Removalists due to hundreds of verified great reviews. I actually feel like I never left and although I have had wonderful times in Australia and have lifetime friends, there really is no place like home. Also, being able to visit so many beautiful European and British cities is a plus. Good luck! PS Had no trouble getting work at all. Something I unnecessarily worried about. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SUPERSTARDJ01 Posted December 13, 2017 Share Posted December 13, 2017 Its been one hell of a journey, after my partner was working in the FIFO industry for 5 years, 4 cycles of IVF, 2 live births, a miscarriage, never feeling so lonely, and so emotional,our (partners) parents health deterating we have decided to go HOME, we are so excited but it does come with its complications. Our daughter was 13 when we arrived here and is now studying at Uni, has got her circle of friends and is pretty content. Me and OH on the other hand are miserable, homesick, skint (yes we both work), we argue alot due to our circumstances and want to chuck in the towel for our life back in Yorkshire. One of the inlaws had a heart attack last year and was on deaths door and I see my mother is deteriorating with some form of dementia, my little boys hardly know their grandparents, nor their uncles, aunts and cousins. The guilt we feel for not being there for the oldies is huge, we feel so helpless and this is when you realise just how far away Australia is. We believed that moving to Australia would be a dream come true, and honestly it was for the first 2-3 years, we had our ups and downs but on a hole it was good, gorgeous house, pool, good jobs, daughter went to fantastic private school, two beautiful babies which we never thought we would have. The sun shines most of the time, but even that becomes a burden and limitation. Its a very lovely (lonely) part of the world BUT its not home, it just doesn't feel right, I feel trapped, lonely and teary, i started having anxiety, I miss my old life so much, moving here wasn't a mistake or anything. Infact I certainly don't regret doing it, its been an experience (an expensive experience) but its part of us now. We are planning on leaving for rainier shores in the New Year, I would go home tomorrow if I could, we are very fortunate we only sold one of our houses and still have one to go back to (when the tenent leaves). We are trying to line up tradies to get it renovated before our return. Our son is due to start (UK) school this Sept this year but I've contacted the UK education authority and he can start Sept 2018 as his birthday is end of June, so that works really well, I'm able to get a job as soon as im ready, thats not a problem, straight back into the NHS, so the main obstacle is my OH to get a job which he is trying to do prior to leaving Australia. Then its the heartbreak of leaving our daughter here. Leaving her has made me so sick to my stomach, but she is 21 soon and totally independent, she has her own life, she keeps saying when she finishes her course and gains her experience, she will return to be with us. (Approx 3years) I guess thats what I have to hold onto. Although she is a grown woman, I feel she is still my little girl!! We are not telling our family or friends that we are returning as too many people would believe us to be bonkers to return, yet I believe until you have made this journey you would never know how it feels. I am so looking forward to being able to pop round to family and friends for a cuppa, proper pubs, cheaper shopping, a mini mortgage, decent TV, home comforts, curry, cheap holidays in the south/west country and Europe and cant wait to drive the M62 [emoji6][emoji6][emoji6] (compared to the M1 it will be bliss) If anyone could recommend shippers that would be awesome, we used Crown to come over, but we need quotes and timing of container to get to the other side. So we can plan well in advance! Thanks Lady Tottington Sent from my SM-T580 using PomsinOz mobile app Hi,May I ask what you'll be doing in the NHS? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Tottington Posted December 17, 2017 Author Share Posted December 17, 2017 Hi,May I ask what you'll be doing in the NHS?Yes im an ODP, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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