Reactions from UK family?

[Martinbjulieb]

We arrived back with our 2 children a week ago. Very rapidly approaching 40. We had lots of comments about how mad we were- even my dad! But we knew what we were doing..... a week in & I'm confident it's right for our family- kids are so happy to have family around... that's enough for us. 

Welcome home Pixie 77 and family[emoji4]


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[KTM1963]

Hi all, I couldn't agree more with the many and varied reasons for returning to the UK.  I have lived in Australia 28 years, more than half my life, came as a back packer in 1989 and returned to the UK in March 2017.  I have just turned 54, got a contract job immediately and start a full time job on Monday.  Life is far too short to keep wondering if you should do it or not.  I intend using my return flight in February 2018 to basically sell up my unit in Melbourne.  Can buy a lovely little house here (Worcester), be cashed up and will be working for 3 years full time and can afford to then work 2/3 days a week.  Never married, no kids but feel like many of you in that I love and appreciate Australia, and always wil,l but I want to be close to Europe, life long friends and my ever diminishing family. I am 21 on the inside and I think if you have a happy, optimistic outlook on life and are willing and able, age really is no barrier.  Good luck!

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[bunbury61]

On ‎23‎/‎07‎/‎2017 at 09:39, Nunu10 said:

I've been reading all the posts on here for the last week or so, and thought it was time to say hello

I just wondered what kind of reaction everyone was getting from relatives back in the UK about their choice to return. I know it doesn't matter what people think, and it's our life, but my in-laws are being so negative about the whole thing and trying to talk my husband out of it! Which is making the whole stressful sitution about 10 times worse!!

The background.. we have been in Perth almost 10 years. I have wanted to return for the last 5 (basically since our oldest child was born, we now have 2) but hubby has always wanted to give Oz a fair go.    Well. the last months he has finally admitted that he has never really settled here and wants to return too. We are just weighing up whether to go as soon as possible or give ourselves 12 months to get properly organised before we move home.

Anyway,... my parents are fully supportive of the move (as they have never liked us being here anyway to be fair)... but my inlaws are totally against it. All they have to say is "it's ludicrious, you're mad, the UK has gone to sh*t, you'll hate it, you're too OLD to go back into the UK workforce (we are very early forties - is that too old?!?!?!)."

Of course all that talk is making us second guess our decision.... just because we haven't lived in the UK 10 years and we know it has changed. But I honestly don't believe we would hate it, or that we are idiots for wanting to move back.

Perth is lovely, and we've had a good time here and have lots of friends. But...reasons for moving home... family, family, family (maybe not the in-laws now ha ha)... friends, feeling alive, the green, CULTURE, proximity to Europe (I speak two other European languages which always got me good jobs in the UK, but is pretty useless here). 

And also for the kids, they have dual nationality now so we've given them a good start. But they barely know their grandparents, and don't know any extended family. And I worry that here they will grow up in an insular little bubble, too far away from other cultures and experiences. I'm sure anyone who has lived in Perth knows what I mean!!!

the people who give you the negative , haven't lived your life .

and most of them haven't got a clue anyway .

they may have holidayed in oz , and taken an opinion from that .

I fully understand your decision ,but trust me , its a massive sacrifice .

iam living that sacrifice ,right now

[bunbury61]

On ‎23‎/‎07‎/‎2017 at 12:34, LKC said:

We had a few of that sort of comment, but I was sort of expecting it so it didn't bother me over much.  Unless you've lived here, you really have no grounds on which to comment about living here (or indeed to compare it to the UK).  We're moving back soon (flights booked for six weeks tomorrow - eek!) and have decided to try another part of the UK.  OH and I are from Kent/the Midlands respectively, but we lived in Cambridgeshire/Suffolk before we moved to Sydney.  We will be moving to a small village just north of Edinburgh when we move back, so a completely fresh start.  People keep telling us how cold it will be, how we'll miss the beach, how they can't believe we'd give up the 'Australian lifestyle', but I live here and I know it isn't for us.  

I'm in my early 40's, OH will turn 40 just after we arrive in the UK, and we don't consider ourselves too old to relocate, although I would say it has been harder this way round, mostly because our children are older and less easily portable, if that makes sense.

Just do what you think is best for your family (meaning you, your partner and your children).  Things usually work out for the best in the end.

lkc - best of luck ,AND MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR RETURN ?

Europe awaits ....Paris , Prague , Warsaw , Innsbruck, Krakow , lucerne , Milan ,Monaco and many more ...go do it

 

[bunbury61]

On ‎28‎/‎07‎/‎2017 at 21:07, Pixie77 said:

We arrived back with our 2 children a week ago. Very rapidly approaching 40. We had lots of comments about how mad we were- even my dad! But we knew what we were doing..... a week in & I'm confident it's right for our family- kids are so happy to have family around... that's enough for us. 

Go pixie , make the most of the geography .

so much to see and do

[Parley]

It might be worth a chat with MelbourneTractor who says it was a huge mistake moving back.

[LKC]

10 hours ago, bunbury61 said:

lkc - best of luck ,AND MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR RETURN ?

Europe awaits ....Paris , Prague , Warsaw , Innsbruck, Krakow , lucerne , Milan ,Monaco and many more ...go do it

 

We fully intend to do just that!  I've been listening to Bill Bryson 'Neither Here Nor There' (his travels around Europe) on my morning walk, and it has totally made me want to take the kids all over Europe!  They want to go to Kefalonia (no idea where they've picked that up from - I guess someone from school has been there), Iceland and France, so I think those places will be first on the list.  Not forgetting that the UK is a pretty amazing place too, of course!

[Nunu10]

Thanks again everyone for your replies.

A few things have happened in the last fortnight and to us it feels like it's all falling into place and now is a good time to make the move.

Now the decision is made and flights are booked for December for me and the kids, and the husband will be going back Sept/October to get some things set up ahead of us.

I feel excited at the next chapter but also sad to be saying bye to our Australian friends of which we have been lucky enough to make many. Although funnily we released that ALL of our Ozzie friends here, without exception, are either very well travelled or have lived in the UK at some point in their lives. So they understand our decision and I am confident that we will see some of them again in the future.

We have been very very fortunate in that we have both our own house and an investment property in Australia, so Estate Agent is coming this weekend to get our house on the market, and we will just leave the investment ticking over by itself either to sell at a later date or if we end up ping-ponging, we have a house.

Who knows if our UK return will be forever,....... but it feels like the time is now.  Our kids are still very young and we are in a good position to give it a shot. And if it doesn't work out, well we will have given our kids and the grandparents some precious time and memories together.

Que sera, sera...

 

[Fisher1]

On 28 July 2017 at 21:07, Pixie77 said:

We arrived back with our 2 children a week ago. Very rapidly approaching 40. We had lots of comments about how mad we were- even my dad! But we knew what we were doing..... a week in & I'm confident it's right for our family- kids are so happy to have family around... that's enough for us. 

I've been reading this thread with great interest ... And I'm headed in the other direction.  I find it astonishing that people would presume to tell anyone what they should be doing when it comes to moving countries, but I've had the "land of milk and honey" reaction to my upcoming move from many people. We lived in Luxembourg for many years and even then we had people saying things like "don't you think you're taking a chance uprooting your daughter?" (She was eight) and "oh I could never live abroad". The same people asked us were we mad when we came back ... Now we're off to join our daughter and her family in Sydney the comments are "oh it's alright for some, hoho."   We're very happy about our move and are looking forward to being able to visit our only child and grandchild without having to sit on a plane for twenty four hours - but we're under no illusions about the cost of living or the climate. We have already said we'll give it a good go, say five years (always assuming we're still alive in five) but if we aren't happy or we find we're counting the pennies all the time, then wer're off. And we're in our sixties now.

Good luck all of you with your moves back to the UK. When we came back to my original home town eight years ago we settled brilliantly, made loads of new friends AND found jobs. We've loved living here and are incredibly sad to be leaving but we want to see our grandchild (soon to be grandchildren) growing up. 

My dad always used to say "You're a long time looking at the lid"  and I know he'd be cheering us on.

[bristolman]

On 8/6/2017 at 23:00, Parley said:

It might be worth a chat with MelbourneTractor who says it was a huge mistake moving back.

Big deal, someone says it's a huge mistake and loads more say it isn't. 

[bristolman]

The negative response you get from some people is down to the Home and Away effect, the awful soapie I mean. People think Aussies work 3 hours a day and spend the rest of their lives having BBQs down the beach, they all own boats and jet skis and never have to worry about anything because the sun is always shining. Try telling our Australian born kids life is better in Australia lol. Both countries offer a great lifestyle, both have crime, hard work, poverty, idiots, etc etc etc.

[bunbury61]

On ‎07‎/‎08‎/‎2017 at 01:30, LKC said:

We fully intend to do just that!  I've been listening to Bill Bryson 'Neither Here Nor There' (his travels around Europe) on my morning walk, and it has totally made me want to take the kids all over Europe!  They want to go to Kefalonia (no idea where they've picked that up from - I guess someone from school has been there), Iceland and France, so I think those places will be first on the list.  Not forgetting that the UK is a pretty amazing place too, of course!

no lkc ....the action is in the central areas not the islands .

for me , the Swiss , Austrian ,northern Italy section ....is always priority no 1

France and Bavaria are beautiful ,as are parts of the old communist bloc .

but in my humble opinion Italy is the place ...mountains ,snow ,heat ,beaches , history , art , culture , Florence , Rome ,Venice , the lakes , Siena ....beautiful .

I heave heard Croatia and Slovenia are worth a visit

Milan , next week for me ???...

 

cant wait

 

then of course there is Madrid , Barcelona , and Lisbon......

so bloody much ?.....plan well

[bunbury61]

5 minutes ago, bunbury61 said:

no lkc ....the action is in the central areas not the islands .

for me , the Swiss , Austrian ,northern Italy section ....is always priority no 1

France and Bavaria are beautiful ,as are parts of the old communist bloc .

but in my humble opinion Italy is the place ...mountains ,snow ,heat ,beaches , history , art , culture , Florence , Rome ,Venice , the lakes , Siena ....beautiful .

I heave heard Croatia and Slovenia are worth a visit

Milan , next week for me ???...

 

cant wait

 

then of course there is Madrid , Barcelona , and Lisbon......

so bloody much ?.....plan well

not forgetting scandanavia ,the baltic states and russia ?

[Fisher1]

9 hours ago, bunbury61 said:

no lkc ....the action is in the central areas not the islands .

for me , the Swiss , Austrian ,northern Italy section ....is always priority no 1

France and Bavaria are beautiful ,as are parts of the old communist bloc .

but in my humble opinion Italy is the place ...mountains ,snow ,heat ,beaches , history , art , culture , Florence , Rome ,Venice , the lakes , Siena ....beautiful .

I heave heard Croatia and Slovenia are worth a visit

Milan , next week for me ???...

 

cant wait

 

then of course there is Madrid , Barcelona , and Lisbon......

so bloody much ?.....plan well

Luxembourg!!!

[bunbury61]

6 minutes ago, Fisher1 said:

Luxembourg!!!

and Lichtenstein

[PatrickA]

Great to read other peoples feelings, its kind of reassuring :-)

I was hoping to get some advice from you all.

We are from London but have been in Perth for 11 years.  We have many fiends here in Perth and we both have steady jobs.

However we still miss UK terribly, we miss our families over there. We fee for our kids, not growing up with their cousins and grandparents.

My wife and I were brought up with our cousins and family around us and we would like the same for our children. We don't have any family in Perth. We have never felt a belonging here and too be honest we enjoy the cooler weather in UK then the hot summers here. So many other reasons for wanting to go back to a place we know and grew up in.

We now feel we would like to move back to UK as my daughter finishes her year 12 next year and my son will finish year 9 next year when he is 14. 

Our plan would be to go back in Nov next year after my daughter finishes school.

My only concern is disruption for my son.  

Would it be a problem for him to join a school when we get back?

Do i go over next year and try and get my son into school when the School year starts in September?

Has anyone in this forum gone back to the UK with similar aged children.

regards 

Patrick

 

 

[LKC]

9 minutes ago, PatrickA said:

Great to read other peoples feelings, its kind of reassuring :-)

I was hoping to get some advice from you all.

We are from London but have been in Perth for 11 years.  We have many fiends here in Perth and we both have steady jobs.

However we still miss UK terribly, we miss our families over there. We fee for our kids, not growing up with their cousins and grandparents.

My wife and I were brought up with our cousins and family around us and we would like the same for our children. We don't have any family in Perth. We have never felt a belonging here and too be honest we enjoy the cooler weather in UK then the hot summers here. So many other reasons for wanting to go back to a place we know and grew up in.

We now feel we would like to move back to UK as my daughter finishes her year 12 next year and my son will finish year 9 next year when he is 14. 

Our plan would be to go back in Nov next year after my daughter finishes school.

My only concern is disruption for my son.  

Would it be a problem for him to join a school when we get back?

Do i go over next year and try and get my son into school when the School year starts in September?

Has anyone in this forum gone back to the UK with similar aged children.

regards 

Patrick

 

 

My children are younger and we're not quite back yet, so I can't help you in terms of my own experience.  Just bear in mind though, that until you've been in the UK for three years, you may well be charged international fees if either of your children wanted to pursue a university degree.  I believe that some universities will charge domestic fees though, if you make the case that you moved for work and your child had no say in the matter.  Just something to consider.

Hopefully someone who has been through moving back with older kids will be along soon.

[Fisher1]

1 minute ago, LKC said:

My children are younger and we're not quite back yet, so I can't help you in terms of my own experience.  Just bear in mind though, that until you've been in the UK for three years, you may well be charged international fees if either of your children wanted to pursue a university degree.  I believe that some universities will charge domestic fees though, if you make the case that you moved for work and your child had no say in the matter.  Just something to consider.

Hopefully someone who has been through moving back with older kids will be along soon.

I considered moving back to the UK from Outside the UK when my daughter was 14 and at that time you needed to be back by the end of the third year in secondary school because then they began the two year GCSE syllabus at the end of that year. (I'm avoiding calling it "year anything" for clarity.) So at that time, I knew I had to decide during her third year of secondary education whether to move back or not, and be in place by the beginning of the fourth year, (ie September).  If I were you, I'd contact the secondary schools in the area where you would be living and ask what are the current ramifications of a move back to the UK at this point in your ,daughter's education.

Of course kids can and do catch up, but I wouldn't have wanted to make a new and challenging situation more difficult if I could help it.

[bunbury61]

On ‎24‎/‎07‎/‎2017 at 02:22, Taff said:

Most of my mates think I'm mad to return. My answer is always; "You live out here for 16 years first, then you can tell me what to do."

plenty of beautiful spots in wales , in fact most of it ....i have posted on here before ...i was lucky to drive wales top to bottom in the snow .

cleared from the roads ...not a cloud in the sky ...beautiful

[Taff]

On 9/2/2017 at 23:56, bunbury61 said:

plenty of beautiful spots in wales , in fact most of it ....i have posted on here before ...i was lucky to drive wales top to bottom in the snow .

cleared from the roads ...not a cloud in the sky ...beautiful

I'm returning to Cornwall though. :-)

[Nunu10]

Thanks again everyone for all your advice!

Thought it was time to update after this original post I made in July. Well we made the decision to go back to the UK and now it's all happening!!

Hubby flies our TODAY ..... after following advice on here and putting some feelers out for jobs in the UK, we were surprised how receptive employers were to considering a candidate who wasn't even in the UK. He was offered a job after 3 skype Interviews with one company and he starts next week!!!!!!! We still can't quite believe it

The kids and I will be in Perth for another 80 days and are busy packing and selling and sorting..... but we will be home in time for Christmas and cannot wait.

It's a rollercoaster isn't it just! But so far, so good!!!

 

 

[Quoll]

4 hours ago, Nunu10 said:

Thanks again everyone for all your advice!

Thought it was time to update after this original post I made in July. Well we made the decision to go back to the UK and now it's all happening!!

Hubby flies our TODAY ..... after following advice on here and putting some feelers out for jobs in the UK, we were surprised how receptive employers were to considering a candidate who wasn't even in the UK. He was offered a job after 3 skype Interviews with one company and he starts next week!!!!!!! We still can't quite believe it

The kids and I will be in Perth for another 80 days and are busy packing and selling and sorting..... but we will be home in time for Christmas and cannot wait.

It's a rollercoaster isn't it just! But so far, so good!!!

 

 

What a relief it must be that your DH has landed a job! Sounds like you're definitely on a roll and the next 80 days will zoom past and it'll be Christmas! 

[Martinbjulieb]

On 18/09/2017 at 03:06, Nunu10 said:

Thanks again everyone for all your advice!

Thought it was time to update after this original post I made in July. Well we made the decision to go back to the UK and now it's all happening!!

Hubby flies our TODAY ..... after following advice on here and putting some feelers out for jobs in the UK, we were surprised how receptive employers were to considering a candidate who wasn't even in the UK. He was offered a job after 3 skype Interviews with one company and he starts next week!!!!!!! We still can't quite believe it

The kids and I will be in Perth for another 80 days and are busy packing and selling and sorting..... but we will be home in time for Christmas and cannot wait.

It's a rollercoaster isn't it just! But so far, so good!!!

 

 

Fantastic!! It will fly by. Any questions about the move you can PM me if you like!

Where are you moving to?

 

[deryans]

We moved back to the UK in 2015,  kids aged 8, 12 and 14 then.  (sydney for 11 years, adelaide for 4) In terms of aussie-in-laws there were totally against us moving away from adelaide, they're just a different generation, yet on balance Kids have thrived here - achieving way more than would have been possible in adelaide, my aussie wife is incredibly involved with the school as a PTA and Volunteer, we're  semi-rural, east sussex, 20-30 mins from nearest shop so quiet enough,  we moved back in my late 40's and I've had absolutely no issue getting work, 6 days I think it took me in the city to get a contract gig, since then I've started a professional services firm with two colleagues, grown with a number of clients up in london and I work from home 2 days a week (even worked from france on holiday), sometimes 3, so I can ride my bike along with now 9 year old to school and take my 13 year old to martial arts twice a week. Since we've been back the kids have been all over east sussex and kent, Spain, France x3, Ireland, Italy x2, Greece, Egypt and Belgium, Kids are learning to horse ride, water & snow ski, shoot , and just about anything else they put their mind to, and all in different and varied countries.  London is a cracking city and it's been a while since I managed a Thursday evening pint or three (it's the new Friday) but last week had a very pleasant few sherbets in the cannon street area after work, and still home before 2100. 

I don't think the UK is falling apart at all,  it goes without saying that brexit is a dogs breakfast and adds unnecessary uncertainty and cost, it will be uncomfortable there is no doubt about that, but the opportunities in the market here in the UK and indeed europe outstrips what could ever be mustered by Oz,  there just simply is no volume in oz

Our quality of life has certainly improved, would I say it's massively better or different ?  Probably not significantly other than financially, but rural living with easy access to different cultures and countries and a steady stream of lucrative work is too attractive and whilst our time in adelaide now seems distant, I am grateful for our time there as it was  wake up call to get on with life and make the change instead of waiting around for something to happen whilst trying to keep the in-laws happy.  

 

 

[Scousers1]

On 23 July 2017 at 18:39, Nunu10 said:

I've been reading all the posts on here for the last week or so, and thought it was time to say hello

I just wondered what kind of reaction everyone was getting from relatives back in the UK about their choice to return. I know it doesn't matter what people think, and it's our life, but my in-laws are being so negative about the whole thing and trying to talk my husband out of it! Which is making the whole stressful sitution about 10 times worse!!

The background.. we have been in Perth almost 10 years. I have wanted to return for the last 5 (basically since our oldest child was born, we now have 2) but hubby has always wanted to give Oz a fair go.    Well. the last months he has finally admitted that he has never really settled here and wants to return too. We are just weighing up whether to go as soon as possible or give ourselves 12 months to get properly organised before we move home.

Anyway,... my parents are fully supportive of the move (as they have never liked us being here anyway to be fair)... but my inlaws are totally against it. All they have to say is "it's ludicrious, you're mad, the UK has gone to sh*t, you'll hate it, you're too OLD to go back into the UK workforce (we are very early forties - is that too old?!?!?!)."

Of course all that talk is making us second guess our decision.... just because we haven't lived in the UK 10 years and we know it has changed. But I honestly don't believe we would hate it, or that we are idiots for wanting to move back.

Perth is lovely, and we've had a good time here and have lots of friends. But...reasons for moving home... family, family, family (maybe not the in-laws now ha ha)... friends, feeling alive, the green, CULTURE, proximity to Europe (I speak two other European languages which always got me good jobs in the UK, but is pretty useless here). 

And also for the kids, they have dual nationality now so we've given them a good start. But they barely know their grandparents, and don't know any extended family. And I worry that here they will grow up in an insular little bubble, too far away from other cultures and experiences. I'm sure anyone who has lived in Perth knows what I mean!!!

Honestly, i cannot say whether to go now or in 12 months but do go home. I regret we didnt and now my daughter is 19 it is making it so much harder as she will not go. I have wanted to return for about 10 yesrs, it eventually makes you depressd and miserable.  Your kids NEED the extended family, there is NOTHING that can replace that i have lernt yhat the hard way. We are however going for a holiday in 3 weeks snd hoping my daughter sees the good of the UK. Best of Luck!!