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A great idea going sour(Just having a male whringe)


onecrankypom

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Throught i throw my first BBQ this weekend wishing I didnt come up with the stupid idea got my partners friends coming over and the stuck up oz pair who i can't stand just glad the Father and mother inlaws are coming as i really be in trouble as the diplomatic hat would be on all day as i know if i get drunk i could up set the apple cart.:arghh:

Dam i begining to sound like an cranky old pom and im no where near as cranky as i sound lol (Opps i was cranky on the weekend as i got left doing baby sitting duties and didnt open my mouth to say i wantted to go out with her and the girls) Well i better get my ass moving into the City I go again and im so not up for this today wondering if this is only a Male fase or a bad dream which every it is i want it to end didnt move this far to whringe like a pom lol :unsure:

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everyones allowed abit of a moa now and again ,so we will let you off this once,lol, tell your misses you dont like them,be straight with her,probably not much you can do now though if they are already invited can you not invite a few more people so you can spend less time in their immediate company,,lol, stand up for yourself man ,you may have moved country and have to adapt to certain things but you can still you,lol,,keep smiling

Cal x

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everybody who coming are everybody she knows and typically no poms so i could be stuck in the mother and father law company woohooo sometime i just want to be a kid again so much easier then all this dioplamtic stuff i mean i do like some of her friends but they are all women it not like i can talk about sport and guys stuff it all about girly stuff it like going to a mother converations and half the time it all in code so i know i be laying in the sun getting a tan and probably falling asleep even through it was orginally a family barbuce which has know turned out different

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You can still be a kid ,sometimes,lol,but sometimes you have to act grown up too(try it every now and again ,i do,lol),its part of life mate, you have to tell her how you feel or its going to be hell for you evertime you have a get together ,,dont be someone your not for anyone especially in your own home.If all else fails have a few stubbies then at least if you do embarras yourself you wont remember anything about it,lol

Cal x

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Guest Jaynie
very true my fiance and her friends not delete the pictures they have of me drunk lol

 

Play 'Mien Host' get them rotten drunk and take photos of them!!! *** for tat, bet they delete yours then! lol:cute:

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It seems there going to be heaps of kids at this BBQ and has caused me to tell my finace i dont want this bbq as i throught it was a chance for me to have some quailty time with her and family as every Tom,Dick and harry are attending i cant be bothered which has now caused her friends to say im a complete ASS. i did explain to my fiance im not happy and im on the edge of going home as i feel so isolated here as i got nothing have i over reacted?

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Guest mandy1

Hi There

God these things can so get out of proportion can't they? Trouble probably is as you are feeling quite unsettled and unhappy at the moment everything seems like a big deal. Is the bbq going ahead or not? Maybe you could just take a deep breath, let it go ahead this once on the proviso that your partner doesn't invite those you can't get along with to any others you may have (her frineds really shouldn't be saying bad things about you to her either) and remember its just one evening and it will be over in a few hours. You never know once you get into the swing of things you may end up having a half decent time. Hope you get it all sorted out x

Mandy x

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we stil having the bbq and she not back down on all her friends coming as they been invited to make it worse i had an agency whringe that the uk standard refernce is not helpfully and i not get a job here with out a full reference told the o/h and she goes oh how we going to live if u cant get a job. God i want to get on a plane and scream my self estream is so low right now i will pack my bag and go home im a grown men who wants to have a big sulk over every thing stressing me out

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Cranky have you told her how hard you are finding it here? maybe let her have a read through some of the threads so she can try to understand what a big move this is for people ,you need all the support you can get right now ,i think you should sitdown together and have a little chat.

In relation to your refernce ,can you not contact old employers via email?

Cal x

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BBQ going ahead so im waiting for some one to try and take me off the bbq as im a bbq king promised finace not to be cranky we see if i do. Had a chat last nite saying im happy here just missing my socail circle and working I try not to get get to drunk cause that my down fall if ppl upset me i tell it straight and i promised to be on good behave. I show people im no Dork lol just like to chill out and have fun well i keep u all posted how it goes lol YOu may see a crazy pom in Brisbane if it goes wrong

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Guest mandy1

Hi

You sound a bit more positive now-good on ya! Keeping fingers crossed that all goes well for you tonight x

Mandy x

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Well the BBQ went ahead the first thing to go wrong was we could not find the Gas hose to the new BBQ. We had got hold of 3 others but none would fit the BBQ lol so we ended up using the small camping one we ahve which was ok. Everything was ok until 7pmm the friends of my other half i cant stand turned up with there 4 kids. Then they made out i was incapable of going to the hardware store to buy a new gas pipe for my BBQ and then Im setting my standards way to high regarding work that really did my top as i knew the standard i got in place are no way high even my mother in and father in law know i got realistic chances of getting what i want unfortunely they could not attend. So i basically went and got my shoes and went for a walk which started a major search for me as i left and my other half was worried even through when i got back we had an arguement about me walking out. Then in the morning i really had it as they said oh we going to buy u a new kettle when i was planning to get one the same day i was so pissed off that i cooked breakfast in silence and didnt socialise with any one during the rest of the time they where here so i cleaned the house while they where here where there kids had broken breakfast bowls and the lid to the sugar jar even through they said thanks for the breakfast i hardly acknowldge them so you can see i was hardly dimplomatic for the whole time they where here. My o/h told me last nite i throught you where going to be dimploymatic and not cranky the whole time i just turned round and said im so dimploymatic but they came into my castle and did and said what they did what do you expect. I understand why my inlaw wil not have her friends round with all there kids. Was my reaction over done?

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i think you did well walking away rather than kicking off ,think i wouldve had to do the same cause i KNOW i wouldnt have been able to keep my mouth shut,lol, hopefully youll get a job soon then you can invite them back and make them eat their words,lol,,did you give them a bill for breakages,lol

Cal x

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Cal i never walked down the street and not look back and throught about going to the inlaws but i know that would of caused a huge agruement I not be inviting them around if i can help it dont class them as friends and they think they arranging my stag nite over my dead body the worst case scenero i be going back to the uk if my friends cant make it as that looking the case at the moment.

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Guest Jaynie

Hi Cranky, (wish I knew your real name, as I don't think you are Cranky at all!)

 

I was getting annoyed when I read your message on how the BBQ went, who do these people think they are? They come into your house and then belittle you in front of your partner. Thank goodness you get on with your in-laws. Your Fiancee must surely realise that their behaviour is unacceptable.

 

I think you did the right thing walking away, I would have started yelling at them I think, so well done on being diplomatic. DO NOT let them get involved in your Stag night and certainly don't let him come, you can choose your own mates you don't need their input in to your big occasion.

 

What is your job and why do they think you have big expectations?

 

Hope you're feeling better and it's not causes too much bother with your partner.

 

Kind regards:wubclub:

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I worked in Treasury in London and left there knowing on my last day I walked away from a 10k pay rise and promotion in Treasury which i do the same again as i love my partner so much. but knows im wiling to work in any accounts role and take a pay cut asking for $45kmin AM i being unrealistic. The only problem they are friends of my partner and will be at the wedding mypartner just tells me they just like that but in the good sense if i had friends like that i be like no way even my friends in the uk would not do that if i ask for help i will but people butting in unwanted is over the mark as far as i care my inlaws have the right to butt in as it there daughter and will do they are family(they made sure we where able to be in the same country together as they checked everthing regarding paperwork for the visa we had was signed by the right people, we meet the citerea, even give me there backing to be here) but as far as friends go i have to ask dam im a cranky pom.

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Guest Jaynie

I think it's all down to manners really, they obviously don't have any, trust your own judgement and if you don't like them just tell your partner she is free to see them but not to expect you to tag a long on social outings.

 

Good luck in finding work, I think this will make you fell much better and I don't think you have high expectations at all, maybe they are jealous of your relationship. Just my opinion.

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I think you showed remarkable restraint my oh certainly would not have.

 

You do not have to like each other's friends, my oh does not like one of my friend's husbands and therefore I usually see her a lot more on her own than we do as a couple, once or twice a year is enough for my oh

 

Diplomacy does not come into it just avoid :nah:

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