Bemused by the Australian dream

[TopTohScnal]

I've been reading through a few of the threads on here there seems to be a running theme that people feel homesick and miss their family as they're so far away. My situation is slightly different in that my only remaining close relatives, my brother and sister (both younger than me) live in Australia (both parents are deceased now). I moved here 4 months ago as I'd been out on long holidays to visit and they were encouraging me to come over and live here too. Before I hit 40, I thought 'why not', I'll give it a go, so I applied for my skilled visa, it took a few months and I even managed to secure a job offer before I came out.

I did the move on my own, with no partner or kids. After the initial Christmas with family and seeing my nephew for only the second time, then some traveling on the east coast and visiting Perth, I'm now in a situation thinking 'what the hell have I done!' Despite my job offer starting mid January, I still had to wait to be registered with AHPRA to practice here, this was a long, laborious, tedious, time consuming wait, which they state on the application should take 6-8 weeks, it did in fact take 5 months! So while waiting for this, the initial adventure and new start then turned into savings very quickly disappearing, money for deposits for a house eaten into just to survive the wait to start work. I came here fresh and ready for a new challenge but now I just feel drained of the whole thing, barely able to afford food to last me before my first payment and I'm staying in dorm accommodation at a backpackers as it's all I can afford! I began to think the whole process is deliberately set up to rid you of your money, just utter bureaucratic nonsense that could easily have been dealt with in a coupe of weeks, but just so much red tape and hurdles to jump through!! I have never experienced such a backwards system! I can understand the security aspect but to take 5 months! 

I left a great lifestyle back home, friends for support, not worrying too much about money, and I feel now like I've lost so much. I'm stuck, I now have my registration to work but I'm not even sure I want to... I just feel like flying back home, I've tried it but it doesn't seem to be working for me. I'm usually a very positive person that can pick myself up again but this has been so stressful, I'm not sure it's worth it. I am torn as my siblings are here but I don't think that's a strong enough pull for me to stay here. I am probably in the stage of being homesick which I'm surprised at how bad it's hit me to be honest but having not much else to focus on, it's quite overwhelming. Having read some comments on here, I miss the English countryside, a walk to a local pub, the seasons. It's all very same-y here and where my sister lived in Perth was suburban hell, totally snoozeville! Even the bush walks were dull, dried out, brown dense trees, no views at all! Give me the Lake District or Peak District any day.

i just wanted to share my experience and to say the Australian dream as been shattered for me! 

[Slean Wolfhead]

One of the things you have to realise is that Australia is different, and it won't change because you miss the English system which in many ways is better and more efficient. Every single day i see something that the UK does better, but it's getting out of that habit of comparison that is crucial to your future if you decide to stay.  If the UK was that good, it would have a better quality of life, the population would be wealthier, healthier and happier, but any comparison you can find says that just isn't the case (overall).   There are horses for courses, but maybe the more relaxed perspective over here is actually beneficial, although frustrating at times.  It took me a long time to realise that I was trained to respond like a monkey in the UK and see the bad side in everything, when there are more important things in life that i was missing and at the time, didn't care about.  If you're British trained in health with experience, you should get on very very well here, and that will stand you in good stead when you find your feet and break through the cultural barrier.

5 years ago we were down to our last $2000 and I, being the partner of the VISA holder had taken 6 months to find a job as i had nothing lined up, couldn't get an interview.  Very depressing, very worrying and I was falling into the same sort of "what the hell is going on" frame of mind.

5 years later, we're citizens, have a house, earning enough money to aim to pay off a 30 year mortgage in 6 years. We have money to invest which we never had in the UK, we have cars each, better health, better food, and we're 100% happier for feeling we've achieved something that really wasn't going to be possible in the UK.  I miss the pub, miss the closeness of mates, a good balti, the football away trips, the sarcasm and pointed humour, even the whinging and blind optimism to bad news.  But for me it's a much nicer place to go back for a holiday and actually do the things i want to do, than have to live there and try and build a life.

Australia is a huge place and it's not the same everywhere you go.  Take a look at the greenness and wetness going on in QLD and Northern NSW at the moment, then have a look at the South East corner about 400 miles long for spectacular coastline, views and mountains..and your 4 distinct seasons.  It's all on the doorstep.

[simmo]

2 hours ago, TopTohScnal said:

I've been reading through a few of the threads on here there seems to be a running theme that people feel homesick and miss their family as they're so far away. My situation is slightly different in that my only remaining close relatives, my brother and sister (both younger than me) live in Australia (both parents are deceased now). I moved here 4 months ago as I'd been out on long holidays to visit and they were encouraging me to come over and live here too. Before I hit 40, I thought 'why not', I'll give it a go, so I applied for my skilled visa, it took a few months and I even managed to secure a job offer before I came out.

I did the move on my own, with no partner or kids. After the initial Christmas with family and seeing my nephew for only the second time, then some traveling on the east coast and visiting Perth, I'm now in a situation thinking 'what the hell have I done!' Despite my job offer starting mid January, I still had to wait to be registered with AHPRA to practice here, this was a long, laborious, tedious, time consuming wait, which they state on the application should take 6-8 weeks, it did in fact take 5 months! So while waiting for this, the initial adventure and new start then turned into savings very quickly disappearing, money for deposits for a house eaten into just to survive the wait to start work. I came here fresh and ready for a new challenge but now I just feel drained of the whole thing, barely able to afford food to last me before my first payment and I'm staying in dorm accommodation at a backpackers as it's all I can afford! I began to think the whole process is deliberately set up to rid you of your money, just utter bureaucratic nonsense that could easily have been dealt with in a coupe of weeks, but just so much red tape and hurdles to jump through!! I have never experienced such a backwards system! I can understand the security aspect but to take 5 months! 

I left a great lifestyle back home, friends for support, not worrying too much about money, and I feel now like I've lost so much. I'm stuck, I now have my registration to work but I'm not even sure I want to... I just feel like flying back home, I've tried it but it doesn't seem to be working for me. I'm usually a very positive person that can pick myself up again but this has been so stressful, I'm not sure it's worth it. I am torn as my siblings are here but I don't think that's a strong enough pull for me to stay here. I am probably in the stage of being homesick which I'm surprised at how bad it's hit me to be honest but having not much else to focus on, it's quite overwhelming. Having read some comments on here, I miss the English countryside, a walk to a local pub, the seasons. It's all very same-y here and where my sister lived in Perth was suburban hell, totally snoozeville! Even the bush walks were dull, dried out, brown dense trees, no views at all! Give me the Lake District or Peak District any day.

i just wanted to share my experience and to say the Australian dream as been shattered for me! 

I can tell that it will not work for you.  Your thread title pretty much summed it up for me. "Bemused", I was also underwhelmed and thought is this it?....

I would guess British Expats are made up of a third who genuinely love it and it all works perfectly for them, another 3rd are so determined to make it work that they slog through the wobbles and convince themselves that they did the right thing - they are the ones that compensate for their insecurities by splashing out on toys like jet skis and jacuzzis to reward themselves in the hope that their homesickness fades - they lock it away in the back of their mind. 

The other 3rd pretty much know from the 1st 6 months that they don't belong and take the pragmatic approach.  The acceptance that it was a mistake for me was like a load off my back.  Telling everyone was slightly tedious with them all telling you how crappy the UK is and how fantastic Australia is but you need to follow your instinct.  Even landing back in the UK when the whole enormity of what you did hits you, the huge lump of money spunked, getting back in the system, banks, schools, house, doctors,... It a stressful period but for me well worth it in the end.

I now live in SE London, just an average outer london suburb but a million miles from the typical suburban hell you mention above.  We have good pubs, micro pubs, restaurants, shops, schools, surgeries, coffee shops.. all a short walk away.  A bus takes 20mins (stopping every 10 yards!!) to the O2 areana or Greenwich town center, blackheath common, greenwich park.  20mins on a train into Charring Cross, Rugby clubs, football clubs, 1 hour to the coast, 20 mins to bluewater.  The social life is whatever you want it to be, walk in a pub you have never been in and within minutes you are chatting to new friends.

I think I am the luckiest man alive, I live in the best city in the best country in the world, my kids are happy, the missus is happy the dog and cat are happy.

Forget about the Aussie dream being shattered, start building your new dream!!

 

(sorry about the poor grammer,puncuation but I have a raging hang over)

[Skani]

5 hours ago, TopTohScnal said:

 I moved here 4 months ago as I'd been out on long holidays to visit and they were encouraging me to come over and live here too. Before I hit 40, I thought 'why not',

Migrating is a very stressful and expensive business.  For most people to succeed they need very  careful thought about pros and cons and very high motivation - more motivation than just being persuaded by one's siblings and thinking "why not"?

[starlight7]

Like the UK, a lot depends on where you live in Australia.  I used to live exactly where simmo lives now - recognise all the places, it was where I was brought up.  Hated it and still did every time I went back.  We are all different and every country has different things to offer.  Given what the op has gone through/is going through it would be very,very hard to like the place he is now. Wherever in the world.

[doubter]

9 hours ago, TopTohScnal said:

I've been reading through a few of the threads on here there seems to be a running theme that people feel homesick and miss their family as they're so far away. My situation is slightly different in that my only remaining close relatives, my brother and sister (both younger than me) live in Australia (both parents are deceased now). I moved here 4 months ago as I'd been out on long holidays to visit and they were encouraging me to come over and live here too. Before I hit 40, I thought 'why not', I'll give it a go, so I applied for my skilled visa, it took a few months and I even managed to secure a job offer before I came out.

I did the move on my own, with no partner or kids. After the initial Christmas with family and seeing my nephew for only the second time, then some traveling on the east coast and visiting Perth, I'm now in a situation thinking 'what the hell have I done!' Despite my job offer starting mid January, I still had to wait to be registered with AHPRA to practice here, this was a long, laborious, tedious, time consuming wait, which they state on the application should take 6-8 weeks, it did in fact take 5 months! So while waiting for this, the initial adventure and new start then turned into savings very quickly disappearing, money for deposits for a house eaten into just to survive the wait to start work. I came here fresh and ready for a new challenge but now I just feel drained of the whole thing, barely able to afford food to last me before my first payment and I'm staying in dorm accommodation at a backpackers as it's all I can afford! I began to think the whole process is deliberately set up to rid you of your money, just utter bureaucratic nonsense that could easily have been dealt with in a coupe of weeks, but just so much red tape and hurdles to jump through!! I have never experienced such a backwards system! I can understand the security aspect but to take 5 months! 

I left a great lifestyle back home, friends for support, not worrying too much about money, and I feel now like I've lost so much. I'm stuck, I now have my registration to work but I'm not even sure I want to... I just feel like flying back home, I've tried it but it doesn't seem to be working for me. I'm usually a very positive person that can pick myself up again but this has been so stressful, I'm not sure it's worth it. I am torn as my siblings are here but I don't think that's a strong enough pull for me to stay here. I am probably in the stage of being homesick which I'm surprised at how bad it's hit me to be honest but having not much else to focus on, it's quite overwhelming. Having read some comments on here, I miss the English countryside, a walk to a local pub, the seasons. It's all very same-y here and where my sister lived in Perth was suburban hell, totally snoozeville! Even the bush walks were dull, dried out, brown dense trees, no views at all! Give me the Lake District or Peak District any day.

i just wanted to share my experience and to say the Australian dream as been shattered for me! 

Only you know what is best for you. All I will add is I went through all those same feelings and emotions around the 6 month mark. I decided I had enough and Australia wasn't for me and booked flights to return back to the UK for all the family. This didn't go down too well with the wife as I never discussed it with her. Understandably the kids were much happier. 2 months later when we were due to leave all those feelings and emotions had left me. I wanted to stay and was starting to enjoy my life in Australia. I wanted to use the flights as a visit back to the UK rather than go back permanently. I had changed my mind but I had to respect the wishes of my wife and children. Things were in place and my wife wasn't prepared to go back on the decision I made, especially as I had messed them around enough.

Looking back everyone goes through those emotions and you have just got to ride it, and things will get better. I wish I had before making a knee jerk reaction having done the hard work and expense to get there. For me the last 6 years have been spent dreaming about going back. I now have a second bite of the cherry with a new RRV and a job lined up. However I need to convince the wife (the same wife ) who doesn't quite feel the same.

[newjez]

16 minutes ago, doubter said:

Only you know what is best for you. All I will add is I went through all those same feelings and emotions around the 6 month mark. I decided I had enough and Australia wasn't for me and booked flights to return back to the UK for all the family. This didn't go down too well with the wife as I never discussed it with her. Understandably the kids were much happier. 2 months later when we were due to leave all those feelings and emotions had left me. I wanted to stay and was starting to enjoy my life in Australia. I wanted to use the flights as a visit back to the UK rather than go back permanently. I had changed my mind but I had to respect the wishes of my wife and children. Things were in place and my wife wasn't prepared to go back on the decision I made, especially as I had messed them around enough.

Looking back everyone goes through those emotions and you have just got to ride it, and things will get better. I wish I had before making a knee jerk reaction having done the hard work and expense to get there. For me the last 6 years have been spent dreaming about going back. I now have a second bite of the cherry with a new RRV and a job lined up. However I need to convince the wife (the same wife ) who doesn't quite feel the same.

You really booked flights home without discussing, and you're still married to the same woman? 

[doubter]

11 minutes ago, newjez said:

You really booked flights home without discussing, and you're still married to the same woman? 

Yes she loves me, she loves to hate me and vice versa 

[Guest]

As hard as it is just now, are you able to find a way to make it work until you start earning? is your salary payment due soon? It's totally understandable you feel this way. I imagine anyone would in your position. Once you start earning and being able to afford the lifestyle out there you may feel a little differently. Australia is not all faceless suburban wasteland -  albeit it many cities do have what you've described - there's a lot more on offer!. As it's only short term could you live with one of your siblings? I say you've spent a lot of money, time and effort getting over there. Why not give yourself x amount of months and if you still feel the same, head back.

[Quoll]

Nothing in the rule book says you have to like it! I reckon you know fairly quickly if it will be for you or not. If you're footloose and fancy free then please yourself, cut and run and retrieve what you can of your old life before it is out of reach. It's much harder when you have a whole family to consider. I always chuckle at the "Australia Dream" thing  - it's just another first world country as far as I can see. 

Edited April 1, 2017 by Quoll

[TopTohScnal]

Thank you for all the comments, it is great to hear others experiences and both sides of the story. Skani, it was abit more than that, I'm not reckless, I had two big trips spending a few months here in different parts of Australia over a couple of years before deciding on the move. The only way you can truly know how it will be is to actually do it!  I did research areas, cost of living, what's available in different cities, the weather, house prices. Once you are here and actually living though, as you all probably know, do you really experience the place, what works well and the drawbacks. 

I have been to different parts of Australia, I was in the Blue Mountains in January, I'm very active and love the outdoors and spent some fantastic days hiking and exlporing. I've been to Adelaide too, great wineries, the city itself didn't offer much for me but it's very pleasant. I feel it's every family oriented which is great for my family there as they have kids but for a single person it didn't seem to offer much. Incidentally Starlight7, I'm female? 

Luckily I have had family to stop with for the last month with while I've been waiting for paperwork, now in temporary accommodation near where I'm starting work next week and can then look for something other than a backpackers once I get paid. The YHA aren't that bad really. :-)

Yeh I think the best thing is to give it a few months in work, in Queensland and see how I feel, time will tell...

Thanks again for your comments, and I think you just have to go with your gut instinct, and I'm sure you've all made the right decisions for yourselves.

 

 

 

Edited April 2, 2017 by TopTohScnal

[newjez]

33 minutes ago, TopTohScnal said:

Thank you for all the comments, it is great to hear others experiences and both sides of the story. Skani, it was abit more than that, I'm not reckless, I had two big trips spending a few months here in different parts of Australia over a couple of years before deciding on the move. The only way you can truly know how it will be is to actually do it!  I did research areas, cost of living, what's available in different cities, the weather, house prices. Once you are here and actually living though, as you all probably know, do you really experience the place, what works well and the drawbacks. 

I have been to different parts of Australia, I was in the Blue Mountains in January, I'm very active and love the outdoors and spent some fantastic days hiking and exlporing. I've been to Adelaide too, great wineries, the city itself didn't offer much for me but it's very pleasant. I feel it's every family oriented which is great for my family there as they have kids but for a single person it didn't seem to offer much. Incidentally Starlight7, I'm female? 

Luckily I have had family to stop with for the last month with while I've been waiting for paperwork, now in temporary accommodation near where I'm starting work next week and can then look for something other than a backpackers once I get paid. The YHA aren't that bad really. :-)

Yeh I think the best thing is to give it a few months in work, in Queensland and see how I feel, time will tell...

Thanks again for your comments, and I think you just have to go with your gut instinct, and I'm sure you've all made the right decisions for yourselves.

 

 

 

I've always thought how you feel about a place depends on what company you keep when you are there. No matter how good a place is, without good friends to share it with, it's just a place. And certainly not all of Australia is good, although I would struggle not to find the blue mountains pretty. I've done solo travelling before and it does become tedious after a while. You sound tired, possibly lonely, homesick. Start work, you've made the effort. Set a date to leave. If you forget that date when it arrives, or choose to ignore it then great. If not then you have it a shot. We're your intentions to re join your family? If so, it must be worth finishing the effort, surely?

Edited April 2, 2017 by newjez

[TopTohScnal]

2 hours ago, newjez said:

I've always thought how you feel about a place depends on what company you keep when you are there. No matter how good a place is, without good friends to share it with, it's just a place. And certainly not all of Australia is good, although I would struggle not to find the blue mountains pretty. I've done solo travelling before and it does become tedious after a while. You sound tired, possibly lonely, homesick. Start work, you've made the effort. Set a date to leave. If you forget that date when it arrives, or choose to ignore it then great. If not then you have it a shot. We're your intentions to re join your family? If so, it must be worth finishing the effort, surely?

Thanks, that's very good advice about having a date in mind. I've always loved holidaying here before to visit family, maybe that's what I should keep doing? Once I'm in work and busy, things will be better.  From now on, after such a bad start to the work situation, I'm just going to enjoy the time, how ever long that is...

You're so right though, it's those old friends that make an experience, who you can share things with and who know you well. I don't think I have trouble making friends, I was in lots of active/sport clubs in UK and intend to the same here. I know it's take a long time to develop those meaningful friendships though.

Edited April 2, 2017 by TopTohScnal

[Guest]

3 hours ago, TopTohScnal said:

Once I'm in work and busy, things will be better - DEFINITELY! once you are earning money you'll have the opportunity to do so much more

I don't think I have trouble making friends, I was in lots of active/sport clubs in UK and intend to the same here. I know it's take a long time to develop those meaningful friendships though. - EXACTLY it probably took months/years etc.. to make good solid friendships in the UK. If you're the type of person who is involved in a lot and didn't have trouble making friends in the UK I would probably say once you get out there and get involved you'll mostly likely find the same thing happens.

Chin up, keep smiling... All the best!

[MARYROSE02]

One of the young guys I know created his extensive social network by joining a squash club. I met him on his first night in Australia eight years ago when we shared the same room at one of the YHA hostels at Central in Sydney. A couple of years later he recognized me in the Trinity bar in Surry Hills. If you like bushwalking then a bushwalking club is perfect which seem to be almost identical to The Ramblers in the UK with organised walks every weekend and sometimes during the week.

I remember how lonely I used to be on Sundays and I tried to go and see my brother on that day. I never thought of it at the time but volunteering would have been a great thing to do. I still have not done it but i know there are some lonely people out there, either in nursing homes or trapped in their own homes.

I have gradually built my own social networks, getting to know people at some of the pubs round here. I see the young guy I mentioned on Sundays at the Trinity, sometimes on other nights. Others I meet at pub trivia though since starting work in the evenings I don't do that so much. Work is one place to make friends and I look forward to my five hours with them.

I'm doing a degree with the Open University which takes up some of my time and as it's on line I don't physically meet the other students but it's still enjoyable. 

If I went back to England again, unlikely as my parents have passed away, I'd be starting from scratch again, building up a social network. Some people say it's harder in Australia because they don't "get" Aussies but I don't agree with that, and I'm sure Aussies who emigrate to the UK face similar problems.

 

[wattsy1982]

@TopTohScnal I think when you know you know. I started feeling like you at the 8 month mark, Aus wasn't impressing me how I thought it would and the novelty of the beaches and heat/sun had worn off and I started thinking about what I had given up and what I'd gained.

People on here said the same to me (probably the same people who have commented to you) it takes time, you will feel better in x months, making new friends here will help, new job etc........

fast forward 3 years and I still feel the same, if not worse as I am now thinking about the time ive wasted here (strong word to use...maybe not wasted but you get what i mean) Ive tried soccer clubs, gyms, golf clubs, both kids have started school here and not met any parents live clicked with, weve even built a house here hoping that would change things but no, still feel the same. 

The wake up call for me was when my wife found out we were expecting our 3rd child (due this july) I suddenly thought do i really want me baby growing up here, another child growing up not knowing family, not having grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins at their birthday parties and xmas, no extended family to watch their sports day or school play....and after those thoughts had it me I realised how i really felt, what I wanted and realised I wasnt ever going to settle/be content here.

We are going to apply for citizenship here in July then heads home.

Its been an adventure but as a family unit home and family means more than sunshine and a beach.

Good luck with whatever you choose.

[MelT]

I've always thought how you feel about a place depends on what company you keep when you are there. No matter how good a place is, without good friends to share it with, it's just a place. And certainly not all of Australia is good, although I would struggle not to find the blue mountains pretty. I've done solo travelling before and it does become tedious after a while. You sound tired, possibly lonely, homesick. Start work, you've made the effort. Set a date to leave. If you forget that date when it arrives, or choose to ignore it then great. If not then you have it a shot. We're your intentions to re join your family? If so, it must be worth finishing the effort, surely?

I fell for you. We are in the same situation 12 years line. The only thing holding us from going back is that my parents live here too (I am the only child) and my mum has cancer and does not want to go back to the uk.. Whereas all my HB family are in the UK.. So we have set a timeframe to go back. We have felt better since doing this as we can see light at the end of the tunnel. Issues here include worse sexism and racism, GM foods (banned in Europe and have detrimental affects on health), too hot to do much outdoors, high risk of skin cancer, not being able to walk the dogs in national parks, depth of friendships, lack of professionalism in the workplace..... Hope that you can make things work but we have given up on 'flogging a dead horse' as they say...

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[MelT]

Oops...Sorry meant to say, I feel for you.. (Typo)..


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[TopTohScnal]

I was chatting to my brothers wife over xmas when I was there and even though they've been here about 6 years now, she was saying they don't have many friends, I think she has met other parents through their son but she said my brother hasn't got that many mates, and he's a really sociable chatty guy with loads of really good mates from uni, work etc back home. I don't know why that is,he's joined volunteer groups- fire brigade etc. Typical I find this out when I've already moved here! They seem to socialise with their neighbours abit but it's all at the house, consuming more alcohol than I think is healthy- and I do like a drink! 

Yeh,  I agree @wattsy1982 the beach wears off after a while- up here you can't even go in the sea due to sharks, crocodiles, stingrays and jellyfish!! I'm not sure that's appealing and not mentioned in the emigration brochure! Three years is more than enough to realise it's not for you, I hope the move back goes well and good idea hanging on til you get citizenship, then your kids have the choice in the future.

@MARYROSE02 I think you do the right thing keeping busy, doing volunteering, courses etc. I'm sure if you did go back, they'd be some old friends you're still in contact with but can't be easy after a while when they've been doing their old thing. 

@MeIT I'm sorry to hear about your situation, it's tricky when you've got family here, and your hearts not in it. Likewise must be difficult if they're on the other side of the world, at least you're together at the moment and can spend important time together. I agree on some of what you say, I do think I've stepped back in time a few years, were it not for wifi (although it's not that great) I'd struggle to realise it was 2017 here. Im not against swearing but on the radio should they not censor it at 1 O'clock in the afternoon. :-) 

I'm quite embarrassed for the media here, it's shocking, seems very one sided, no form of intelligent conversation/documentaries (except imported) or radio programmes. I've only been here 5 mins but I don't know how people cope with such vacuous politics, there's no depth to it from what I can see. I hope it works out for you, good luck. Sounds like you've made the right decision.

Edited April 3, 2017 by TopTohScnal

[MelT]

I was chatting to my brothers wife over xmas when I was there and even though they've been here about 6 years now, she was saying they don't have many friends, I think she has met other parents through their son but she said my brother hasn't got that many mates, and he's a really sociable chatty guy with loads of really good mates from uni, work etc back home. I don't know why that is,he's joined volunteer groups- fire brigade etc. Typical I find this out when I've already moved here! They seem to socialise with their neighbours abit but it's all at the house, consuming more alcohol than I think is healthy- and I do like a drink! 
Yeh,  I agree [mention=226692]wattsy1982[/mention] the beach wears off after a while- up here you can't even go in the sea due to sharks, crocodiles, stingrays and jellyfish!! I'm not sure that's appealing and not mentioned in the emigration brochure! Three years is more than enough to realise it's not for you, I hope the move back goes well and good idea hanging on til you get citizenship, then your kids have the choice in the future.
[mention=214837]MARYROSE02[/mention] I think you do the right thing keeping busy, doing volunteering, courses etc. I'm sure if you did go back, they'd be some old friends you're still in contact with but can't be easy after a while when they've been doing their old thing. 
@MeIT I'm sorry to hear about your situation, it's tricky when you've got family here, and your hearts not in it. Likewise must be difficult if they're on the other side of the world, at least you're together at the moment and can spend important time together. I agree on some of what you say, I do think I've stepped back in time a few years, were it not for wifi (although it's not that great) I'd struggle to realise it was 2017 here. Im not against swearing but on the radio should they not censor it at 1 O'clock in the afternoon. :-) 
I'm quite embarrassed for the media here, it's shocking, seems very one sided, no form of intelligent conversation/documentaries (except imported) or radio programmes. I've only been here 5 mins but I don't know how people cope with such vacuous politics, there's no depth to it from what I can see. I hope it works out for you, good luck. Sounds like you've made the right decision.

Yes I agree with your comments on media here. Thank goodness for the internet I listen to Radio 4/ world service for my own sanity ..


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[Guest]

I think your mind is made up. Just go back.

[tea4too]

We love to visit family in Aus but are happily settled in the UK and, no matter how good the holiday, there is always a point when it’s good to return home. Our very first visit was a little surreal as people seemed to assume we were on a recce, and went out of their way to explain how and why they were happier in Aus. There were awkward moments, with at least one person visibly incredulous at the idea that we might really be happy with our life and lifestyle in the UK – including the unpredictable weather!

Initially we too were a little bemused, and even started to wonder whether everyone else was party to a secret that we just didn’t get. But I think it’s more a case of discovering where you feel most at home. For all sorts of reasons that is the UK for us….and for our Aus family, it is WA. Fortunately it’s not a exam with a single correct answer so, with your sensible head on @TopTohScnal set a reasonable time frame, then consider how you feel.... and go with your heart. T x

[wattsy1982]

On 4/3/2017 at 8:47 PM, MelT said:

Yes I agree with your comments on media here. Thank goodness for the internet I listen to Radio 4/ world service for my own sanity ..


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Same here, radio 2 even 24 hours behind is still more up to date/educational of world affairs than the radio here, the TV isnt any better either!

[Brit Girl]

Hi Top Toh Scnal,

totally understand where you are coming from as a fellow nurse! I have been here 7 years and i started the process in 2008/9 when it was much easier. For what ever reason it has become harder year on year for UK nurses to get their qualifications recognised and get a job. Our UK experience doesn't count at all, they aren't interested in looking at fresh ideas even when you do get a job here in Perth! As for promotion it is hard to obtain without jumping through many hoops especially in community nursing where i work. I'm due my long service leave in Feb 2020 which i am holding out for and then i will make my final descion re moving back. On the positives i have been able to travel around Australia and bought a unit (which is another battle to sort out as it has been so poorly built).I have made a few friends (but not that many despite me being a sociable, friendly person). I think you are doing the right thing in questioning whether Australia is for you. In my experience it is more expensive to live here and you really need two wages here to be comfortable financially and therfore not having to worry about money. Also as a single woman/child free woman here in Perth it is much harder and not as socially accepted here as it is in the UK. Good luck with your decision you won't be the first or the last to head home just think of it as as an extended holiday and you'll be fine.

 

[TopTohScnal]

On 08/04/2017 at 3:25 PM, Brit Girl said:

Hi Top Toh Scnal,

totally understand where you are coming from as a fellow nurse! I have been here 7 years and i started the process in 2008/9 when it was much easier. For what ever reason it has become harder year on year for UK nurses to get their qualifications recognised and get a job. Our UK experience doesn't count at all, they aren't interested in looking at fresh ideas even when you do get a job here in Perth! As for promotion it is hard to obtain without jumping through many hoops especially in community nursing where i work. I'm due my long service leave in Feb 2020 which i am holding out for and then i will make my final descion re moving back. On the positives i have been able to travel around Australia and bought a unit (which is another battle to sort out as it has been so poorly built).I have made a few friends (but not that many despite me being a sociable, friendly person). I think you are doing the right thing in questioning whether Australia is for you. In my experience it is more expensive to live here and you really need two wages here to be comfortable financially and therfore not having to worry about money. Also as a single woman/child free woman here in Perth it is much harder and not as socially accepted here as it is in the UK. Good luck with your decision you won't be the first or the last to head home just think of it as as an extended holiday and you'll be fine.

 

Hi,

Thanks for your response @Brit Girl, I've only just seen it, sorry. It is an experience and I think always good to live and work in other countries (sometimes if only to realise, it's not for you) . I agree with you about the work situation, I have now been in work a month but already seeking (and hopefully secured) another position elsewhere. Basically I was quite shocked at the lack of professionalism from my boss, lack of communication to me about basic things, change in contract with no verbal or written notification, i.e. after the huge tax here, I am earning much less, about £12,000 less, than I was in my first year after graduating over 11 years ago in UK doing this job!! The offers and 'extras' that were meant to be included in my salary have suddenly not appeared now I'm here! Just shocking, so I'm moving to a self employed position like I was in the UK and I'm sure it can't be any worse! Also a requirement, as I'm overseas trained, is that I complete 6 months supervision- this particular person, my boss,  has zero interest in this now I'm here, despite me providing some paperwork the other week and reminding this person I am meant to have my cases reviewed and observed, and receive feedback regularly, I am going to learn nothing and there is no attempt to provide a learning environment to help integrate into the Australian health care system. It is his business and I am simply there to churn out patients and make him money. That's all! 

On the whole this first experience of work here as a professional has not been a good one at all. I think I will give it a few months in my new position, at least complete my 6 months supervision, try and save some money and head back. You're right in treating it as an extended holiday. I have certainly be trying to get and out about and explore, im not sure whether it's just a far North Queensland thing but so far I've found social groups slightly cliquey, it's still early days but I found some not particularly interested in new people. I have had to join so many different groups to actually find out about events and what's happening and when, it seems to be who you know to find out- for example, I was asking a group of cyclists about a morning ride. I emailed the organiser to to check it was a regular weekly thing, I was told yes it was, meet every Tuesday at the cafe. So I turned up at 5.30 to go cycling- nobodies there. I email later to be told 'oh sorry, we were all at a cyclocross event yesterday so we didn't make it this morning'. I did feel like a total outsider and just said perhaps update the site/page for new members who don't have this inside information! Like I said I don't know whether it is just more cliquey up here in the north but I do find it very difficult to integrate and break into the social groups. 

I'm glad you've travelled and seem some of Australia, 2020 still seems a long time to wait to get your long service leave. I agree about the wages, I'm not sure how I'm even going to afford to buy on my own if I stay here, not on this poor income anyway. I also agree about the promotion thing. From what I've seen so far, in my particular occupation, there doesn't seem much scope for it- I would have to set up my own, but again I'm not sure how I would fund that from this income. My lifestyle is seriously no better for this move, in fact worse, I'm living in shared accommodation, I havent been able to buy a car yet as they're so expensive. I  feel like I'm having to be really frugal, yet in the UK, I didn't worry about it, I could afford to save, I had holidays, went away with friends, enjoyed hobbies, ate out regularly.  I know it takes time to establish yourself and settle, but I have definitely gone back, career wise and lifestyle wise. It's a very time consuming and expensive way to find out! 

Were it not for me having two nephews in the country I would not be here! 

Thank you for your feedback.?