tearose Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 My mum is 82 and her health is beginning to deteriorate, she is currently in hospital after a fall (she's had a few now). I am in Australia and my brother is in New Zealand and my mum in the UK, with no family. What are the chances of getting her out here sooner rather than later? She has her own house, with no mortgage, so money not too much of an issue. Thanks in advance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 My mum is 82 and her health is beginning to deteriorate, she is currently in hospital after a fall (she's had a few now).I am in Australia and my brother is in New Zealand and my mum in the UK, with no family. What are the chances of getting her out here sooner rather than later? She has her own house, with no mortgage, so money not too much of an issue. Thanks in advance I'm sorry to hear this, but, is this what she wants? Or is this what's best for you? At 82 and not well, that's a heck of a move. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tearose Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 I know....she's always hated the thought of nursing homes, and do not feel that she has many options available to her? My brother and I having been conversing all weekend, and reckon its the only option? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 From what you have posted, it sounds like she would struggle to pass the medical. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tearose Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 It's nothing serious, just age related stuff and she is of sound mind!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Nothing serious to you may be to immigration. If your mother is wanting to make the move, you are probably best to talk to a reputable migration agent and see if a visa is possible. Has she considered home care/someone living in or sheltered housing accommodation as options? Home care can be a few times a day, to help with her personal care, shopping, meals or whatever else. Also you have gone straight to nursing home when she may well not require that level of care and may be open to considering a well run residential home (there are marked differences). Some residential homes have small self contained units within them but peace of mind knowing the staff are there if needed. Admittedly the days of a residential home being full of able bodied and minded elderly who pretty much take care of themselves are long gone. These days to require residential care you do usually need some level of care for whatever reason. This is more if you are being funded by the state as they of course are footing the bill so will only pay if its really needed. If paying privately there is more leeway. However, the proceeds of the sale of a house won't go far given care home fees these days. Depends on the area, weekly fees and so on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Doesn't have to be a nursing home! There are all sorts of possible care accommodation - if she is reasonably independent there is supported accommodation which still gives freedom but a supportive community. If she wants to stay in her own home there are some good in home care options. I would be hesitant about dragging an 82 year old across the world away from the social connectivity they have taken a life time to build up - older people tend to want to die where they "belong". Either you or your sibling could return to UK perhaps to care for her? Passing medical at her age could be tricky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tearose Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 (edited) Thanks, she is very independent so a lot of those options are out, and hence as she is still sound, then that is why we feel we need to get her over here before she does really start to decline. I posted here in case anyone had been in a similar situation....? Also, as I said earlier she has no family now, only a sister that does not speak, and no friends Edited February 13, 2017 by tearose Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Plenty of parents have made the move to Australia to be with their adult children. Hopefully some of them will be along to post. However, given your mothers age and her most recent injury, you really are best contacting a decent agent who can take a look at the case and who can advise you properly. I think thats the only way to really know one way or the other if there is much of a chance as its a case by case basis and things change so quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tearose Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 Plenty of parents have made the move to Australia to be with their adult children. Hopefully some of them will be along to post. However, given your mothers age and her most recent injury, you really are best contacting a decent agent who can take a look at the case and who can advise you properly. I think thats the only way to really know one way or the other if there is much of a chance as its a case by case basis and things change so quickly. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
srh82 Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Have you thought about moving back to be with your mother? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tearose Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 Have you thought about moving back to be with your mother? No Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 When my Mum died we brought my dad out,aged 80 because he couldn't cope on his own. I am an only child. He said it was the best years of his life and wished he had talked Mum into coming when she was alive. He came on a retirement visa and had to have full medical insurance and bring quite a lot of money with him. My friend managed to get her mum out on a 'sole surviving relative 'visa which was much cheaper and meant her mum was covered by Medicare. Dad wasn't- he had to pay megabucks everytime he went to the doctor as his insurance only covered hospital stays. Had he needed to go into a nursing home he would have had to go back to the UK but, thankfully, he didn't. I think the old retirement visa has gone now but am pretty sure the sole surviving relative thing is still there. We actually got a local MP to help us because things were getting delayed and dad was going downhill in the UK. Can't say the medical services in South London did much for him, they were terrible and he noticed the difference when he lived here even though he had to pay. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tearose Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 How long did it take? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 But if she has a sister you are not her last remaining relative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 When my Mum died we brought my dad out,aged 80 because he couldn't cope on his own. I am an only child. He said it was the best years of his life and wished he had talked Mum into coming when she was alive. He came on a retirement visa and had to have full medical insurance and bring quite a lot of money with him. My friend managed to get her mum out on a 'sole surviving relative 'visa which was much cheaper and meant her mum was covered by Medicare. Dad wasn't- he had to pay megabucks everytime he went to the doctor as his insurance only covered hospital stays. Had he needed to go into a nursing home he would have had to go back to the UK but, thankfully, he didn't. I think the old retirement visa has gone now but am pretty sure the sole surviving relative thing is still there. We actually got a local MP to help us because things were getting delayed and dad was going downhill in the UK. Can't say the medical services in South London did much for him, they were terrible and he noticed the difference when he lived here even though he had to pay. Good luck! Remaining relative visa is still available, but it has a processing time of 56 years. So, not much of an option for most Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tearose Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 I don"t have a sister, I have a brother but he lives in New Zealand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 I don"t have a sister, I have a brother but he lives in New ZealandYou said your mother had a sister Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tearose Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 Yes but her health is terrible, she is being looked after, would that make a difference? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Thanks, she is very independent so a lot of those options are out, and hence as she is still sound, then that is why we feel we need to get her over here before she does really start to decline. I posted here in case anyone had been in a similar situation....? Also, as I said earlier she has no family now, only a sister that does not speak, and no friends If she's independent there are some good aged facilities around - my friend just moved into one aged 63 and totally independent. It's a nice little community and they have alarm cords in every room. That sort of thing would be ideal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tulip1 Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 No difference, she's still a relative and as has been said, the waiting time is 56 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunbury61 Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 My mum is 82 and her health is beginning to deteriorate, she is currently in hospital after a fall (she's had a few now).I am in Australia and my brother is in New Zealand and my mum in the UK, with no family. What are the chances of getting her out here sooner rather than later? She has her own house, with no mortgage, so money not too much of an issue. Thanks in advance She is 82 for heavens sake ....why nearing the end of her life would she want to travel 12,000 miles to the other side of the world ...come on get real . How do I know ? ...because that's why iam here in the u.k ...its called TAKING RESPONSIBILITY . Whether that be for your children ...or for your ageing parents . Iam sorry to get on your case ,but it seems bloody selfish to me . You don't want to disturb your life in oz or n.z ....so to solve the issue ,you are proposing to ship your mom out to you . Sorry if I sound harsh ,but i have siblings just like you . One even proposed flying mom out to oz after all these years to visit their family ...mom is 88 ,and would be travelling on her own ....I had never heard anything so stupid in my life ....i was bloody furious. Is it what your mom wants ? ...i could go on ,but I will leave it at that . No offence to you personally ....but think about what you are proposing 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
srh82 Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 She is 82 for heavens sake ....why nearing the end of her life would she want to travel 12,000 miles to the other side of the world ...come on get real .How do I know ? ...because that's why iam here in the u.k ...its called TAKING RESPONSIBILITY . Whether that be for your children ...or for your ageing parents . Iam sorry to get on your case ,but it seems bloody selfish to me . You don't want to disturb your life in oz or n.z ....so to solve the issue ,you are proposing to ship your mom out to you . Sorry if I sound harsh ,but i have siblings just like you . One even proposed flying mom out to oz after all these years to visit their family ...mom is 88 ,and would be travelling on her own ....I had never heard anything so stupid in my life ....i was bloody furious. Is it what your mom wants ? ...i could go on ,but I will leave it at that . No offence to you personally ....but think about what you are proposing Agree. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisher1 Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 (edited) She is 82 for heavens sake ....why nearing the end of her life would she want to travel 12,000 miles to the other side of the world ...come on get real .How do I know ? ...because that's why iam here in the u.k ...its called TAKING RESPONSIBILITY . Whether that be for your children ...or for your ageing parents . Iam sorry to get on your case ,but it seems bloody selfish to me . You don't want to disturb your life in oz or n.z ....so to solve the issue ,you are proposing to ship your mom out to you . Sorry if I sound harsh ,but i have siblings just like you . One even proposed flying mom out to oz after all these years to visit their family ...mom is 88 ,and would be travelling on her own ....I had never heard anything so stupid in my life ....i was bloody furious. Is it what your mom wants ? ...i could go on ,but I will leave it at that . No offence to you personally ....but think about what you are proposing I really think we need to walk a mile in someone's shoes before we criticise. You have no idea of the personal circumstances of the original poster, who may have commitments in Australia she cannot just dump to go running back to England to care for mum. Tearose, My mum moved to a sheltered flat when she began to get too frail to stay in her house - it was expensive, the annual fees were £6000 but they had a 24/7 manager to help, a cleaner once a week, a free laundrette and a subsidised lunch in the dining room each day. There are other cheaper schemes but the main attraction of them all is that you have your own flat and are living independently but with help at hand. I'd really talk to your mum about this, maybe take her to look at one if she'll go? The problem with being on the other side of the world is that you can't see the subtle changes that may indicate the start of dementia or other conditions and could suddenly find yourself back in England trying to find a care home as a matter of urgency. You need to get your mum settled for your own health as well as your mums. If she insists on staying in her own house there are private care firms who will provide care on an ad hoc basis but they are expensive - min.£15 per hour. If your mum is willing to come to Australia, you've a lot of hurdles to jump, and need the help of a decent agent asap. I'd make sure she wants to come before going down that route though, or you could be spending a lot of money to make you both miserable. Whatever you decide, good luck. Its a rough road to travel and you have my sympathy. Its a massive worry - and everyone's situation is different. I think there should be a sticky thread on here to discuss parent worries, because it can be a nightmare trying to work out what to do for the best, and its a situation many migrants will have to face sooner or later. Edited February 13, 2017 by Fisher1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tulip1 Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 You say she owns her own house. I would honestly look at the idea of her selling that and spending the money on a residential pad for the elderly. As has been said, there are many options. She can keep her bit of independence but have back up care to hand as well as maybe making some friends and having company. It sounds a sad state of affairs as she has no one and no friends. Her moving to yours will give her you although you may well work during the day. She will still know no one and have no friends. If it was me I'd look to settle her safely in the uk if you returning isn't an option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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