Lisababy

Going back to UK for holiday... Any suggestions

10 posts in this topic

HI all,

 

So we finally made it and having been living here for two weeks now. We were so busy getting ready to move that I put off dealing with saying goodbye to my family until the last moment. I found this very difficult and emotional and it hit me that I didn't actually know when I would see them again (it's unlikely for lots of reasons they will be able to visit).

 

I'm already considering returning to the UK during 2017 for a 2 week holiday to see my family as I thought if we had a date in diary to see each other again it might make the move easier for everyone.

 

Does anyone have any experiences or opinions on this please?

 

Lisa

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Well at only two weeks here then you would still be on holiday/adventure mode, if home sickness kicks-in and any deep held feelings of missing family and friends (which is a big thing for many) then your reasons for returning home would be more than just having a holiday there, and having to return to Aus and say goodbye again and still not knowing when you will see them again will then be so much harder not just on yourself but on others as the will know you will not have the adventurer attitude as you do at present. However for some a holiday back to UK reinforces the decision to come to Aus in the first place, I hope that this will apply to you.

It was some 5 years before we first went back, we needed to settle here, get our home life, citizenship and finances sorted, admit we did receive some, but not, many family visitors in that time which was more a comfort for Linda than myself. We do visit UK approx. every 18months now, and find that over time a lot of family and friends have moved on with their lives too and though they like to see you for a drink down the pub once or twice their lives have to carry on as if you were not there and you sometimes get the feeling of being a burden/nuisance and this can be hard to understand/accept. The reverse of them visiting you does not seem to be like that though.

 

I personally would hold back on visiting until settled down a little longer as you might find more pressing things require your attention here - moving house, changing jobs or maybe even moving states. There is always Skype, Facetime and telephone to keep in touch, we do this with grandkids and other family members.

 

Welcome to Australia and Good luck with everything in your new adventure

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I tend to agree with the above in that already thinking about and planning a trip back when you've barely been here a couple of weeks isn't the greatest plan. I think you need to just hold off, let things calm down, get over the emotions of the big move, jet lag and all the adjustment period and finding your feet in Aus and all that as it can be a really emotional tough few months to start off. Heading back to the UK for a holiday, or even planning it just as you are working out or coming out the other side of that seems to open the door to a big can of worms with all the upset all over again.

 

The thing to accept and come to terms with when you migrate is that you most likely won't be seeing much of people you left behind. And while the idea of a trip back say 6 or 8 months after arriving sounds appealing it would probably only open those wounds of upset and sadness at leaving them behind again when you return to Aus. It won't accomplish mush I don't think other than to drain your bank account and be more upsetting for everyone involved.

 

You've made the move and need to focus more on building your life in Aus rather than hankering for what you left behind. Its something some struggle with, others not so much, some not at all really. I think often migrating hits people in different ways and some cope well and adapt and others don't. Give yourself chance to find out how you go and then see how you feel in a year or so (a bit less maybe but I tend to work in chunks of time to give myself a fair chance and so threw out a year as to me 6 months is too soon to be thinking about a trip) and revisit the plan then if you still want or need to.

 

I had a trip back to the UK 18 months after moving here but I had no qualms or big upset about my leaving the UK or my loved ones in the way you do. I was also very happy and had built a solid life here in the year or so before I thought about a trip to the UK. It was just my son and myself and we went back for almost a month. I only went as I wanted to see my parents but honestly, I really wasn't fussed otherwise (and would have much preferred to not have to visit the UK using up my holiday days) and while it sounds harsh to some, within 2 weeks of being there I was itching to get back to Aus and home. The visit was on my terms and not for overly emotional reasons but I learnt from it that next time, 2 weeks is more than enough and to go when it suits me and fits in with life here.

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HI all,

 

So we finally made it and having been living here for two weeks now. We were so busy getting ready to move that I put off dealing with saying goodbye to my family until the last moment. I found this very difficult and emotional and it hit me that I didn't actually know when I would see them again (it's unlikely for lots of reasons they will be able to visit).

 

I'm already considering returning to the UK during 2017 for a 2 week holiday to see my family as I thought if we had a date in diary to see each other again it might make the move easier for everyone.

 

Does anyone have any experiences or opinions on this please?

 

Lisa

time will seem to move much faster for you than them. You may get, you only just left, looks if you go back too soon. I'd give it at least a year.

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I wouldn't be planning a return trip so soon after you've arrived - I would say having a holiday date in the diary is a good way to survive if you know that you don't like living in Australia but if you're only just starting out in Aus, I'd say get on with it and get established then see what happens. The farewells are always going to be emotional, every time you do them! In my experience the farewells actually got worse rather than better as your family grows old without you and at the back of your mind will always be "is this the last time?"

 

I think the more you pick at the scab of the life you have just left via social media etc the harder it is for a new migrant to "Settle" whatever that means. Out of sight, out of mind was a pretty good strategy.

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Thank you all for responding. I am not currently homesick or pineing for home, and i feel that i am going to settle well. I am with my husband who is very supportive. I am going to give it my best shot to settle here. My thinking was more it would be nice for them to know when they will see me again.

 

Thanks again. Its all really helpful.

 

Lisa

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Im off back to Leeds soon..:wink:

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Just got back from six weeks over Xmas.

 

It was cold, there was too much traffic. Hated paying for parking.

 

Was ready to come home.

 

Kids loved Xmas with the other side though.

 

Wife prepared to come back after that time too.

 

So not all negative.

 

 

38 next Tuesday, first beach day of the summer planned!!

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The farewells are always going to be emotional, every time you do them! In my experience the farewells actually got worse rather than better as your family grows old without you and at the back of your mind will always be "is this the last time?"

 

That's what I've found as well. It doesn't get easier with time as life progresses, parents get older or die and siblings make a life away from the house you grew up in and saying goodbye to go on the daily grind in a place where things are done differently.

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We planned our first trip back before leaving for about 9 months after our arrival. It was part of the deal that we visited every year & having it planned made the goodbyes much easier.

 

Was it a good idea? Probably not. I was still going through the stages of culture shock, very much in honeymoon & acting as if I was Australian (Christmas Day on the beach, BBQ on Australia Day etc.!). The plus side of going back was I re-connected with being British and that is much healthier, the downside was my OH was already not entirely happy in Australia & he was in tears at Glasgow airport not wanting to leave. Also it was harder saying goodbye as this time we didn't know when we'd be back.

 

We ended up moving back to the UK - mainly due to financial & health issues. I do tend to think now that those that don't holiday in the UK either because they have no ties their or because there close friends and family are willing and able to visit. Those that have family that come out on long visits seem happiest. That was not possible for us & I'm an only child hence the agreement to go back every year. Funny thing is my OH has no ties and he was the one that was homesick, he may have been better not going back.

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