Here again!

[Helz980]

Its been a very long time since I posted anything in PIO so I'm assuming nobody will remember me! Anyhoo I moved back to the UK April 2015 after 4 years of heartache in Oz. I left my OH & we have since then reconciled although he remains in Oz. BUT he is still asking me for a decision about Oz, now 90% of me is happy here & as I left Oz under a dark cloud of depression & anxiety I feel I need to go back for a trip so I can make peace with myself & oz. Anyone else felt like this before?

[VERYSTORMY]

Hi, of course we remember you!

 

I have to say, are you sure this is a good idea? Remember this?

Hello lovelies

 

i never thought I'd be in this position again but I'm so bloody unhappy, I wish I had never come back even if it is for 6 months. My anxiety has come back & I've been getting upset. I feel permanently sick & losing weight (I am eating) can't believe how much being here has such a horrible effect on me. I was great at home & knew that's where I want to be but I promised hubby to come back for a 6 month holiday. However I tried to talk to him about stuff & he was so nasty & I don't know who he is anymore. People warned me this would happen & I said no it wouldn't! I'm trying to be positive but I'm in that cycle again. Sorry people I daren't post this on the other board

 

as for Xmas it doesn't exist in my world.

[Guest The Pom Queen]

Hey Hun, how are you. I've changed my username a few times since you left. Are you going back to make peace with Australia or thinking of trying again with the OH? They are two different things and it will be hard doing one of them let alone both together. If you are coming just for a holiday then that's not to bad but don't do anything rash just yet.

[Helz980]

Hello lovelies!!!

 

It would only be for a 2 week holiday not a large trip. It's about making peace with oz mainly

[Helz980]

Hi, of course we remember you!

 

I have to say, are you sure this is a good idea? Remember this?

Hello lovelies

 

i never thought I'd be in this position again but I'm so bloody unhappy, I wish I had never come back even if it is for 6 months. My anxiety has come back & I've been getting upset. I feel permanently sick & losing weight (I am eating) can't believe how much being here has such a horrible effect on me. I was great at home & knew that's where I want to be but I promised hubby to come back for a 6 month holiday. However I tried to talk to him about stuff & he was so nasty & I don't know who he is anymore. People warned me this would happen & I said no it wouldn't! I'm trying to be positive but I'm in that cycle again. Sorry people I daren't post this on the other board

 

as for Xmas it doesn't exist in my world.

 

my goodness I don't recognise the lass who's wrote that!!

[Guest]

Its been a very long time since I posted anything in PIO so I'm assuming nobody will remember me! Anyhoo I moved back to the UK April 2015 after 4 years of heartache in Oz. I left my OH & we have since then reconciled although he remains in Oz. BUT he is still asking me for a decision about Oz, now 90% of me is happy here & as I left Oz under a dark cloud of depression & anxiety I feel I need to go back for a trip so I can make peace with myself & oz. Anyone else felt like this before?

 

That is so strange, I was only just thinking about you this week and wondering how it had all worked out.

 

I can't advise you as my situation is/was quite different but as TPQ says you need to be clear in your mind & with your OH what 'making peace with Australia' means. You do not want your OH to trap you in Australia & what answer is he looking for - I assume you have not actually said the words 'I will not be moving back'

 

Making peace with something can be a good thing though - I lived in the South of England for 14 years and had a real attitude towards it, if there was an equivalent forum for Smoggies in London, I'd have been the one complaining about the price of lemons and the fact you can't get a decent curry Since moving to Australia and back work has taken me to London quite a bit and I see it very differently now - I would never want to live there again but I am no longer raging against it.

 

I had a similar experience with a job, during a tough time was PND I quit my job, a couple of years later I was asked to go back to do a short-term piece of work - it was a really good thing to do, I realised it had not been 'them', my unhappiness was a reflection of how I felt at the time and that people were genuinely pleased to see me and that the work I did then & previously was highly rated.

 

I sometimes think a holiday in Australia would be good for my OH as he has polarised Australia in his mind to only the bad things - I was sharing a funny story about an escaped cow and his response was the rednecks will be out with their guns. Seeing someone/somewhere/something for what it is without the emotion we have at a particular time is a good thing but with the unresolved issues with your OH I'm not sure the time is right for that just yet - there is still a lot of emotion.

[VERYSTORMY]

I think caution is needed. Particularly as you say you seem to be saying you are back together to some degree and he is asking you for a decision about Oz, which, I could be wrong, but implies he is asking you for a decision about moving back there.

 

This gives me major alarm bells as first, to me, you leaving was a pretty unequivocal decision and it doesn't sound like he is looking to give you a decision about him leaving, but one from you that you might move back. Now, of course, none of can say you must not do that. But, I think it is calling big flashing lights and bells to go off.

 

How will he behave if you visit and say no, you still don't want to live there? Will he behave differently to last time? How unhappy will that make you?

[Quoll]

Going back for a holiday is one thing but go alone otherwise the good old HC can be a bone of contention. Perhaps you do need to revisit how things were back then and how much you have grown as you've recovered. Whether that growth then enables you to give it another go is entirely up to you but IIRC it was very much an escape for you the last time and Colditz doesn't like to let you escape twice. So by all means go and have a nice holiday but think long and hard before committing to it again. I will say that after over 4 years back when the DH and I went for a holiday in January I coped better than I thought I would but there were some days and some places when I could almost feel the depression settling on the shoulders again and that was quite scary as I was determined to have a good time. Good luck!