twopassports Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Just wanted some advice or perhaps a perspective I hadn't considered. My husband and I recently left London and have been staying with a friend in Melbourne whilst we look for work and housing. We've been in the country for just under a month in total, having spent the first week visiting my mother and sister in another state - not long enough for me, but my husband was getting itchy feet so we cut our visit short by one week. I was disappointed as I hadn't seen my mother for about 4 years, but also keen to get our lives in Melbourne sorted out, and my husband reassured me with 'you'll have plenty of time to spend with her once we get settled', which I accepted. The crux of the situation is this: He says things are not going well here and if it doesn't improve over the next 3-4 months he will leave, with or without me. He is miserable because the job hunt has been harder than expected and we are currently in the suburbs (he is a real urban dweller, grew to absolutely love London and HATES having to use the car just to get to the supermarket etc.) It was always the intention to move close in to the city, so the suburban situation is temporary, but he can't seem to see that rationally and instead feels the whole place is a real let-down. We also discovered that, due to Victorian regulations, he is unable to get a licence to work in his field until he has lived in Australia for 12 months and has the appropriate references. It's a shame, as he would be able to get the licence/registration in NSW of QLD, and I would be willing to move interstate for a year in order for him to work properly, but he is reluctant for more upheaval, only to have to move again in another year. He is currently on a 5 day course in a related field, after which he should be able to get a licence, and which I hope will allow him to get decent work related to his skills, so I feel optimistic about that. Meanwhile, although he is making all the right "moves" in terms of looking for work etc, every day there is another negative comment about this country, and the comments started pretty much as soon as we landed. We have been married for over 10 years (no kids, but were planning to try in the next year or 2). I am Australian but was living in London since 2002. I met him (Moroccan but now with UK citizenship) in 2005 and we married less than a year later. We've had a pretty happy marriage, although the early years when he moved to the UK were tough on both of us - he worked minimum wage jobs and I stayed in a job I hated in order to support us. We were both pretty miserable but we got through it and still love each other, so I've been confident we could face any challenges that came our way with our marriage intact. My husband later retrained (I supported him through it) and for the past 4 years or so has had a satisfying career. Meanwhile, I only managed to leave behind the job I hated (after working there 11 years!!) just before we moved to Oz and have never had the chance to built myself a "career" as such - something that really bothers me now. When we met I was upfront about my desire to return to Australia to live and he was OK with that. Of course that was over 10 years ago and I know that people/priorities change. I have been dreaming of moving back to Oz ever since, and because of that I found it very hard to feel truly settled in London, although it's a city I love very much. However, we also want children and I can see that working much better in Oz, where we at least have the possibility of affording to rent/buy a larger property and to have family near-ish. We were flat-sharing in London the whole time we were there and so have never had a proper home of our own. I asked my husband what factors needed to be in place for him to feel that the move was "working", and unsurprisingly it seems the most important is to have a decent job and a house in a more lively area. I'm just not convinced that even with those things in place he won't find another excuse not to like the place - he operates on "feeling" a lot, whereas I am a rationalist. I'm also really mortified and hurt that he would even consider leaving without me. He feels he suffered enough in the early years of living in London and doesn't want to do that again, although I don't see the situation as identical - this time around we have savings, friends, family, and he has real job skills and fluent English. I just don't know what to think. I always promised him if he didn't like it here we didn't have to stay, but I thought at least we'd give it a couple of years before throwing in the towel - it's only been 1 month! I might be open to the idea of moving away again, but not until I've had a chance to make a go of it here. I thought we were going to find a home and have a family - I'm now wondering if I'm going to end up alone at 35 with nothing! Any suggestions/illuminations? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 I can understand to a point the difficulty your partner is experiencing living in the burbs. To this day I am unable to rejoice in such urban living. Twice attempting such living when younger in the past, coming from Central London to the suburbs of Perth met with dismal failure. Loathed the lifestyle and felt it very contrived and no life at all. You could try if budget allows living inner city. I deplore driving everywhere as well, and hardly need to living so close as I do to city and transport options. It'll never be London, nor another big European city, but it is what it is. At some point we need to decide and practicalities rule at some stage. One does adapt to ones surroundings over time. I probably wouldn't live in Central London again, as found the changes disappointing when lived a quarter of a year in 2010 right in the centre. Not sure what city you are living in but suggest try a more cosmopolitan area with at least a resemblance of life. Being child free offers so many options not immediately available to those not in that position. Find the right balance. But there is the possibility that nowhere in Australia may fit your partners requirements, which reminds me of an English acquaintance whom suffered similar agony, but found solace moving to America. (big city vibe place) Good luck, I quite like Morocco though but to live not sure . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 The most important thing of all is finding work. After that things will seem a lot better ........................... hopefully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twopassports Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 Thanks FlagOfConvenience. We are in Melbourne and I'm looking at renting in the inner city suburbs, but just not sure it'll be possible to get all the ducks in a row by my partner's 3-4 month deadline, or even if he'll like it if I do. I'm trying to find my own work and build a life for us, but it's hard for me to channel my energy into that when I've got this monkey on my shoulder! It feels really hard to make commitments to jobs or leases when the possibility of it all collapsing in a few months is hanging over my head. But if I don't try it seems our life here is doomed anyway. I too prefer to live somewhere were I can walk to the shops etc. For me the car is really only something I want for weekends away etc. We were in Zone 2 north London before so of course this is a bit of a shock - I have always hated the 'burbs too. I wouldn't want to live in the CBD though; I prefer inner suburbs with a 'village' atmosphere. Moving to Morocco is not an option for me, but I don't think that would be my husband's choice either - he has probably changed too much to fit back in there. I love visiting and I love my husband's family, but it's not the most comfortable place for a european woman; I would always stick out like a sore thumb (red hair!) and would also have to learn the language properly. Probably next to 0% chance of my finding a decent job there and there is little intellectual/artistic life to be had (I'm an artist so that's a priority). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosiew Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 (edited) see below! Edited August 30, 2016 by rosiew Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosiew Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 How about agreeing a timeframe - say 6 months? Take a look at 1 bed properties around areas like Brunswick/ Brunswick West, which rent from $250 - 300 a week. Approach agents and ask about a 6 month lease. Vacancies are reasonably high right now and that may be a possibility to get someone in and paying rent. Or move to a share house again where you will have more flexibility. Have a look at Readings window in Lygon Street for ads - or the noticeboards at Melbourne Uni Union HOuse If it is all still looking bad in 6 months then you will need to make a choice - and probably go back to a more familiar life in easy reach of the rest of the world. If your husband is willing, perhaps look at some counselling at Relationships Australia or similar so that you can make a plan - not only for these 6 months, but beyond. Good luck! He is probably a bit shell shocked and feeling very foreign right now in the unfamiliar world around him, so be kind to each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twopassports Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 Thanks rosiew. I agree about a timeframe. I talked to my husband about this last week and he upped his cut-off from 3 months to 4 months, but we didn't really get a chance to discuss it properly as he was feeling unwell and definitely not in the right frame of mind, so I didn't want to push. I would feel a lot better about 6 months - even better about a year as I don't think it's realistic to expect to settle in a new place so quickly. If he had a decent job within 6 months and we had a place to live I suppose I would be quite annoyed if he still wanted to call it quits so soon. I've been away from my country for a long time and in some ways I guess I feel he owes it to me/our marriage to make a go of things. At least in London he was able to visit his parents twice a year - not so easy for me! Who knows, maybe in a year or two I'll have the "moving back to Australia" idea out of my system anyway - I just don't know if he'll give me the time to get there anyway. I love this country but there are plenty of things I don't like about it, and I can agree with some of my husband's views on that. At the moment though, I just feel like it's what I need and I can see us having a brighter future here, at least for the next few years. At the moment he can't see that though. Hopefully we will find a rental soon. Shared housing is out of the question, as that's part of the problem at the moment and was a promise we made upon moving here that we wouldn't end up in that situation again. Staying with our friend is only temporary but even with that my husband finds it difficult - he needs is own space and freedom and hates to be in someone else's house, which I can understand to a degree. He's also very conscious of being a 35 year old man without a house of his own etc. I have thought about getting some counselling, but I'm not sure he'd be willing (very stubborn!) and I fear it just might add to the weight of problems to deal with at the moment, like I'm putting some further demand on him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twopassports Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 The most important thing of all is finding work. After that things will seem a lot better ........................... hopefully. I agree, and hope we are both right about that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 It does sound as though he never really wanted to make the move. Maybe he felt backed into a corner or the reality was 'oversold'. It is, though, unreasonable after all the upheaval, time and expense involved in securing him a visa and getting here not to commit to making a fair go at it - and by that I mean 2 years, not 6 months. It is tough enough for migrant couples when both are fully committed but if one is half-hearted (at best) it is difficult to see how it could work out. What did you discuss or agree before leaving London in terms of timeframes to get settled while you were awaiting the visa. I am sure it could not have been 3-4 months so whatever it was I think he should stick with that really unless life is absolutely unbearable or you are running out of money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twopassports Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 Yes I do think he feels the reality of life here was 'oversold', i.e. too many people saying he'll find a job easily, blah blah blah. He feels we've been jinxed somehow. You managed write perfectly how I feel about it being 'unreasonable' to give up so soon. It certainly has been a great deal of stress, money and time involved in getting here and seems such a waste to throw it away. My husband is not a great communicator, and I honestly can't recall him ever stating a timeframe himself. Whenever we talked about it, either together or with others, I would mention that if we don't like it we can come back - after a couple of years! So that was the minimum timeframe I always had in mind, and he never contradicted it. If he thought otherwise it would have been nice to know beforehand, as I might have had second thoughts about shipping all our stuff! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evets Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 I feel for your situation, after a month it is really hard to make that decision without at least giving it a fair go. You see lots of posts on different expat forums about moving back to the UK after a short period of time. Since he has already moved to another country, he should be well aware of a settling in period. Coming from London myself, originally from Scotland, was very much a culture shock. Regarding his trade, were you both not aware of the license for Vic by researching prior to the move? If he can work in QLD or NSW, it certainly is a far cheaper option and ,hopefully, a marriage saver. QLD would offer a much cheaper cost of living, but that all depends if his work would located in Sydney or Brisbane. You could both look at it as a 1 or 2 year vacation before returning to Melbourne, then again you may like your destination of choice and not want to move back. Other than that, stay in Melbourne and see what work he can pick to get to the 12 month period. The job market here is pretty tough and competitive which will not help both your situations. Have a look at the whirlpool forums and some of the threads. Longterm, if you both dislike the idea of driving to the shops and the suburban lifestyle that may be a difficult to avoid in the future considering the ever increasing house/unit prices in the more vibrant areas. Then again the same can be said of London. Going out to some of the outer suburbs in Melbourne, you somehow forget that you are in Melbourne. Finding a job and moving to a more lively neighborhood, so you can get out of the house more and see some of what Melbourne has to offer may give him a boost. And also spring is here, so the weather will start picking up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Could it be that he is looking at what he thought was offered and is thinking it is very different to likely outcome. You mention a house in fairly central location, but property prices are no more affordable in central Melbourne than they are in central London and now he is seeing a future either in the burbs or back to flat sharing again, except now in a place he feels little for and away from friends and everything familiar. Mix id a bit of this with culture shock - some people find Australian culture massively different to the UK, some homesickness and it is a potent mix. You need to have a conversation and agree a way forward, including a reasonable time line of at least 12 months. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evets Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 What line of work is your hubby in? Yes I think Oz as a destination of over sold in the UK, just look at the TV programs about making a new life abroad. How you can come over here and live the dream in this large house with a swimming pool! This dream is dying due to the high cost of property. It has not really helped with the mining boom crash and major manufacturers leaving Australia. This has had a big impact on the economy. You both should not feel jinxed, if you moved over here a few years back things might have been very different. If moving back to London, do you think you could get on the property ladder? If you are prepared on look out at the Western Suburbs in Melbourne, still some relatively affordable properties. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bungo Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 I agree that it is far too soon to be talking of returning to the UK and I think this is unreasonable and unfair. But it feels like there are a couple of quick wins, like moving to start with, if he is so unhappy about where you are living and you appear to be flexible, then just do it. I would also personally consider Queensland if it will make the work situation easier as well. With job and home sorted, then maybe other things will start to fall into place, there is a lot to be said for a daily routine. I don't really get his comment about having another upheaval, you have only just got there, wouldn't be that much of an upheaval would it. I would maybe not push the talks on timeframe much at the moment, see what you can do in the next four months instead and play it by ear. It might just be your language on here and not your language with him, but I would tone down the "better future" stuff that "you can see but he cannot". It can wind some people up and maybe he feels like you are patronising him. You cannot see into the future any more than he can. I would focus the language and conversations around what you can do right now to make the situation better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Could it be that he is looking at what he thought was offered and is thinking it is very different to likely outcome. You mention a house in fairly central location, but property prices are no more affordable in central Melbourne than they are in central London and now he is seeing a future either in the burbs or back to flat sharing again, except now in a place he feels little for and away from friends and everything familiar. Mix id a bit of this with culture shock - some people find Australian culture massively different to the UK, some homesickness and it is a potent mix. You need to have a conversation and agree a way forward, including a reasonable time line of at least 12 months. I'm not so sure about that. You can rent an apartment in a trendy Melbourne suburb for about the price of a london flatshare Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 I'm not so sure about that. You can rent an apartment in a trendy Melbourne suburb for about the price of a london flatshare It would have once been considered most odd to compare Melbourne with London in the same breathe. Has it changed so much? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 The job scenario is without doubt an issue, but I'd suggest location is just as relevant. Besides myself, I've known a number of folk, one half Australian, follow their partner out to Australia, only to find themselves completely aground due to the totally alien environment compared to London. Jobs helped partially but adapting to suburbia after London life is/can be very difficult. Time will tell if the adaptability process will work or not. I suspect country living eased my way, at least a little, as expectations were not the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 I haven't read any replies but I just wanted to send you a hug :hug: Your husband will feel he as to support you and when a man can't support his family and gets rejected for jobs it can really knock their confidence. Then he doesn't have a support network here, no family or friends it is going to be hard for him. I would recommend trying to move to the city as soon as you can. Can you work? He may be worrying about money. I think he needs to give it a minimum of 6 months and to be honest I've known people hate the first 6 months but you talk to them a year after they have arrived and they love the place and never want to return. Maybe suggest you give it a year and if he isn't happy you will both return. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 It would have once been considered most odd to compare Melbourne with London in the same breathe. Has it changed so much? I agree, Melbourne is a lot cheaper than London. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twopassports Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 Thanks for all the replies. It is certainly giving me something to think about. I think regardless of Melbourne or London, we need our own space, so flat-sharing is definitely out. We can afford to rent in an inner suburb like Thornbury/Brunswick/Coburg. Renting a 1-bed flat in a decent area of north London is around the same price as renting a 2-3 bed house here in a similar area. In terms of getting on the property ladder, that felt pretty impossible in London, whereas we might just be able to do it here in a couple of years, depending on how much more the market goes up and what we can save. The starting prices are about the same I guess, but instead of a 1-bed shoebox with no garden in London you might get a 2-bed flat or house with outside space in Melbourne for a comparable area, so I'd feel a lot less resentful paying a mortgage in Australia. Bungo, in terms of upheaval, I guess what my husband was saying is that he doesn't want to move to Brisbane or similar for work only to have to move again in a year's time and have to get to know a new city all over again. It's true we might enjoy Brisbane and want to stay, but I can't guarantee that either. I was born there and spent a lot of my childhood there visiting relatives, so I know it quite well and, whilst I like it in some ways, I don't think it's right for me long term, and I can't see it being bustling enough for him either. He liked Melbourne last time he was here and preferred it to Sydney or Canberra (not hard I guess!); I think it's mainly the situation he's not dealing with at the moment. I guess I'll just have to do what I can to improve the situation as it stands and hopefully, if we get a few things sorted out, he'll be in a calmer frame of mind and able to discuss a more realistic timetable. At one point he said he'd prefer to stay in Melbourne and get some rubbish job for 12 months than move to another state to work in his field (he's in security installation). I'm just getting whiplash from him saying one thing one day, another thing the next. I can't keep up with it and find it emotionally exhausting and hard to concentrate on making plans. The reality as I see it is that moving back to London won't improve a thing for us financially and although he would have better job prospects right at this moment, I'm not sure it would be better long term anyway. We certainly wouldn't be able to save any more money there as we've committed to the idea of no more flat-sharing. If we tried to buy a flat/house there we'd still be pushed further into the suburbs or have to leave London altogether, and the expense of commuting for work is horrendous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newjez Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Just wanted some advice or perhaps a perspective I hadn't considered. My husband and I recently left London and have been staying with a friend in Melbourne whilst we look for work and housing. We've been in the country for just under a month in total, having spent the first week visiting my mother and sister in another state - not long enough for me, but my husband was getting itchy feet so we cut our visit short by one week. I was disappointed as I hadn't seen my mother for about 4 years, but also keen to get our lives in Melbourne sorted out, and my husband reassured me with 'you'll have plenty of time to spend with her once we get settled', which I accepted. The crux of the situation is this: He says things are not going well here and if it doesn't improve over the next 3-4 months he will leave, with or without me. He is miserable because the job hunt has been harder than expected and we are currently in the suburbs (he is a real urban dweller, grew to absolutely love London and HATES having to use the car just to get to the supermarket etc.) It was always the intention to move close in to the city, so the suburban situation is temporary, but he can't seem to see that rationally and instead feels the whole place is a real let-down. We also discovered that, due to Victorian regulations, he is unable to get a licence to work in his field until he has lived in Australia for 12 months and has the appropriate references. It's a shame, as he would be able to get the licence/registration in NSW of QLD, and I would be willing to move interstate for a year in order for him to work properly, but he is reluctant for more upheaval, only to have to move again in another year. He is currently on a 5 day course in a related field, after which he should be able to get a licence, and which I hope will allow him to get decent work related to his skills, so I feel optimistic about that. Meanwhile, although he is making all the right "moves" in terms of looking for work etc, every day there is another negative comment about this country, and the comments started pretty much as soon as we landed. We have been married for over 10 years (no kids, but were planning to try in the next year or 2). I am Australian but was living in London since 2002. I met him (Moroccan but now with UK citizenship) in 2005 and we married less than a year later. We've had a pretty happy marriage, although the early years when he moved to the UK were tough on both of us - he worked minimum wage jobs and I stayed in a job I hated in order to support us. We were both pretty miserable but we got through it and still love each other, so I've been confident we could face any challenges that came our way with our marriage intact. My husband later retrained (I supported him through it) and for the past 4 years or so has had a satisfying career. Meanwhile, I only managed to leave behind the job I hated (after working there 11 years!!) just before we moved to Oz and have never had the chance to built myself a "career" as such - something that really bothers me now. When we met I was upfront about my desire to return to Australia to live and he was OK with that. Of course that was over 10 years ago and I know that people/priorities change. I have been dreaming of moving back to Oz ever since, and because of that I found it very hard to feel truly settled in London, although it's a city I love very much. However, we also want children and I can see that working much better in Oz, where we at least have the possibility of affording to rent/buy a larger property and to have family near-ish. We were flat-sharing in London the whole time we were there and so have never had a proper home of our own. I asked my husband what factors needed to be in place for him to feel that the move was "working", and unsurprisingly it seems the most important is to have a decent job and a house in a more lively area. I'm just not convinced that even with those things in place he won't find another excuse not to like the place - he operates on "feeling" a lot, whereas I am a rationalist. I'm also really mortified and hurt that he would even consider leaving without me. He feels he suffered enough in the early years of living in London and doesn't want to do that again, although I don't see the situation as identical - this time around we have savings, friends, family, and he has real job skills and fluent English. I just don't know what to think. I always promised him if he didn't like it here we didn't have to stay, but I thought at least we'd give it a couple of years before throwing in the towel - it's only been 1 month! I might be open to the idea of moving away again, but not until I've had a chance to make a go of it here. I thought we were going to find a home and have a family - I'm now wondering if I'm going to end up alone at 35 with nothing! Any suggestions/illuminations? Wasn't sure about the attraction to Melbourne. I would have thought you would have lived near your mum, especially if it helps your hubby get a job. Your clock is running if you want kids. I know many women who thought they had till forty, and then it turned out they didn't. If you want kids you should be aiming to have kids now. May be worth going to a fertility clinic to see what your options are and to see whether you can extend the clock by getting eggs frozen etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twopassports Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 I haven't read any replies but I just wanted to send you a hug :hug:Your husband will feel he as to support you and when a man can't support his family and gets rejected for jobs it can really knock their confidence. Then he doesn't have a support network here, no family or friends it is going to be hard for him. I would recommend trying to move to the city as soon as you can. Can you work? He may be worrying about money. I think he needs to give it a minimum of 6 months and to be honest I've known people hate the first 6 months but you talk to them a year after they have arrived and they love the place and never want to return. Maybe suggest you give it a year and if he isn't happy you will both return. Thanks Pom Queen. He does feel that he needs to provide and is terribly frustrated when he can't. Truth is, he did have some work on last week and this week is undertaking a training course, so I am optimistic about his chances. I'm not sure the initial jobs will be paying what he was getting before of course, but it will be work at least and keep him occupied and money coming in. I can work and am currently looking myself, so I am definitely not expecting him to support me. He has never had to do so in the past anyway - it has only ever been the other way around! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobj Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 My two penneth...Smack him in the gob and tell him to stop being a selfish, self centred child. You have a life, too. Cheers, Bobj. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twopassports Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 Wasn't sure about the attraction to Melbourne. I would have thought you would have lived near your mum, especially if it helps your hubby get a job. Your clock is running if you want kids. I know many women who thought they had till forty, and then it turned out they didn't. If you want kids you should be aiming to have kids now. May be worth going to a fertility clinic to see what your options are and to see whether you can extend the clock by getting eggs frozen etc. Haha gee thanks for that! Yes I am quite aware time is ticking - hence my stress at the prospect of being alone aged 35! My Mum lives in Canberra. My husband can't stand that city and frankly neither can I, except for a short visit. Also, the security restrictions on his job are difficult in the ACT and there aren't many jobs going in that field there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davlap Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 (edited) I don't see why anybody has to live somewhere where there is a need to take the car everywhere. My BIL did that a couple of years before we came out. We chose somewhere near supermarkets, restaurants bulk billed doctors etc. We could 'bush walk' a few minutes drive away. It was a boring suburb - Doncaster East but had everything (including a Westfield) We also stayed in Heidelburg Heights. Cheap living close to the city. Next door to Ivanhoe - a real villagey place at far less cost. Again walk to a couple of malls and 15 minutes train to CBD I am sure there will be many thinking (or telling us) how crap these places are, but what do you want. Big sprawling identikit house in the middle of nowhere on a soulless new estate? Hope this doesn't come out sounding like crtiticising, I feel for you and mostly your husband. Non stop work in IT in the UK - I have spent 18 months - and then another time - a year looking for work. You really get treated like sh*t in Aus by companies and agencies alike. The dopey granting of visas to skilled workers, who then have to spend a year learning or training before being able to work must be soul destroying. I went to Brisbane for a month to look for a job and got one where I am now living. Wife and son staying in Melb (for now?) I have been banging on about trying it out here for a few years. Got fed up waiting and did something about it. I spent a year in Sydney as well, wife wouldn't move there, I loved it - hated Melb winters. I really think Brisbane is the place for me (so far). Edited August 30, 2016 by davlap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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