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Marisawright

Poem for a Eulogy for a Difficult Person - Ideas?

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My oh has to do the eulogy for his brother, who was a complete bastard.

 

It's hard to think of nice things to say about him - the one thing that stands out is that he seized life with both hands and wrung every last drop out of it (at a cost to others, but still...).

 

I was trying to help my oh fill out the eulogy with a poem, I'd though of "If" by Rudyard Kipling but blow me if the celebrant didn't think of it first.

 

So I'm trying to think of another poem that talks about someone who lives life to the full at whatever cost. Any ideas?


Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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How about:

 

 

 

 

[h=2]Because I Have Loved Life - Poem by Amelia Josephine Burr[/h]Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.

I have sent up my gladness on wings, to be lost in the blue of the sky.

I have run and leaped with the rain, I have taken the wind to my breast.

My cheek like a drowsy child to the face of the earth I have pressed.

Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.

 

I have kissed young love on the lips, I have heard his song to the end.

I have struck my hand like a seal in the loyal hand of a friend.

I have known the peace of heaven, the comfort of work done well.

I have longed for death in the darkness and risen alive out of hell.

Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.

 

I give a share of my soul to the world where my course is run.

I know that another shall finish the task I must leave undone.

I know that no flower, nor flint was in vain on the path I trod.

As one looks on a face through a window, through life I have looked on God.

Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.

 

Because I Have Loved Life

Amelia Josephine Burr

Quite a few on here http://www.poemhunter.com/poems/funeral/page-1/41717126/


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Or this one, with a little extra emphasis on 'wretched brother'...

 

Driven across many nations, across many oceans,

I am here, my brother, for this final parting,

to offer at last those gifts which the dead are given

and to speak in vain to your unspeaking ashes,

since bitter fortune forbids you to hear me or answer,

O my wretched brother, so abruptly taken!

But now I must celebrate grief with funeral tributes

offered the dead in the ancient way of the fathers;

accept these presents, wet with my brotherly tears, and

now & forever, my brother, hail & farewell.

Driven Across Many Nations

Gaius Valerius Catullus


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Thanks!


Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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Scan not your friends and family

With a microscopic glass

You know their faults

Now let their foibles pass

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Wouldn't it be nice if we lived in a world were we could just be honest and tell the truth ? We should be able to say well Fred was a bastard who didn't care who he walked over or hurt but he was my brother. Of course we can't do that and we must sugarcoat it even if everyone there knows the truth.


Loving life in Gods Country. Woohoo, look at me. 

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As the person who has died can't hear what you say about him, then what you are trying to do is give comfort to those left behind - as this often includes offspring and partners, then to say horrible things - or even just brutally honest things - about their loved one seems a little churlish. I think Marisa has the right idea - 'living life to the full' is a nice way of putting it when the deceased has perhaps been a little selfish in their pursuits...


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I loathe funerals. I won't be having one - I've left instructions - strictly no funeral for me please!


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away :smile:

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As the person who has died can't hear what you say about him, then what you are trying to do is give comfort to those left behind - as this often includes offspring and partners, then to say horrible things - or even just brutally honest things - about their loved one seems a little churlish. I think Marisa has the right idea - 'living life to the full' is a nice way of putting it when the deceased has perhaps been a little selfish in their pursuits...

 

I'm not saying we should be brutally honest, I'm saying it's a shame that we dont, that it isn't acceptable to do it.


Loving life in Gods Country. Woohoo, look at me. 

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I loathe funerals. I won't be having one - I've left instructions - strictly no funeral for me please!

 

Who cares what you want. It is mainly to comfort your family who want to celebrate your life.


I want it all, and I want it now.

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I loathe funerals. I won't be having one - I've left instructions - strictly no funeral for me please!

 

Yeah I don't blame you to be honest, apart from anything else they are just a rip off.


Loving life in Gods Country. Woohoo, look at me. 

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Who cares what you want. It is mainly to comfort your family who want to celebrate your life.

 

My family know exactly what I want thanks Parley. We will say our goodbyes whilst I'm still alive. Anyway, I have no religion so it would be hypocritical to go through the whole church thing.


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away :smile:

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A topic which is unfortunately front and centre in our family most days.

 

I'm lucky that I've already had the chance to share some precious time with loved ones and close friends during a recent trip back to Scotland. No awkward goodbyes, just heaps of laughter. Mainly at my expense I might add!

 

I nearly had an early visit from the grim reaper when we first started looking at the price of funerals though. Extortionate! A pickup in a bag from the morgue, transfer to a box at the funeral directors, a lift in the back to the service, and carried down the aisle to a furnace! For the price of a decent house deposit!

 

I've always said that a cardboard box will be fine for me (no trees getting chopped just for me), and even then you can still rent a "quality" cask outer so that it looks like you are in a better box! Seriously! The cardboard boxes still cost a fortune. Wicker too.

 

I just don't want a sad and dowdy event for my funeral. Not that I'll be there to influence things anyway. Whatever will be will be. I was brought up in a church-going family but I don't really consider myself religious anymore, and we're not church goers here in Australia anyway, so it will be challenging, awkward and kind of nice to be able to plan a suitable gathering of friends when the time comes.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


From Kilmarnock, now in Melbourne :-)

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Here is an alternative translation of the Catullus poem, if you'd rather things that rhyme.

 

Trekking through countless lands, and over endless seas,

Brother, I come to these sad obsequies,

To make the final offerings the dead are due

To silent ash; to speak - in vain? - to you.

For Fate has robbed you of yourself, and now bereft,

Poor brother, I bewail that unjust theft.

Still, in the meantime, take these mournful gifts you're owed

Sad offerings enjoined by ancient code.

They're soaked through with my tears, as you perhaps can tell.

Brother, through all the years, hail and farewell.

 

Carmina Poem 101, Catullus.

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Yes I agree, something like £3500 for a basic funeral, it's crazy, extortionate.


Loving life in Gods Country. Woohoo, look at me. 

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Anyway, I have no religion so it would be hypocritical to go through the whole church thing.

 

Who says it has to be a "church thing"? Most of the funerals I've been to in the last few years haven't been held in a church, haven't been conducted by a minister of religion and haven't had anything "churchy" about them. Rather, they are a commemoration of someone's life...complete with a photographic presentation of their life, contributions from anyone who wanted to speak (sometimes spontaneously) and music that was meaningful to them (my husband's included Mark Knopfler's soundtrack from "Cal" and "Local Hero" and Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb"...because he'd always joked about wanting that played at his funeral. :cute:)

 

Having experienced 3 close funerals in 5 months (my husband, sister and father), I can confirm that having friends gather together for an "appropriate" service is enormously comforting for those left behind grieving - not just family, but friends as well. My only experience of a "non funeral" - when a friend of ours died in her 40s and didn't want a funeral - left us all feeling flat and, somehow, not being able to do justice to a wonderful lady.

Edited by Skani

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..........my father wrote his own eulogy.......

..........and chose the songs.....

...........meat loafs bat out of hell.....for many reasons....

...........no hymns or prayers....

...........my mothers family's funerals are very ostentatious.....

...........huge floral displays and ,depending on where they live.....a burning....

...........I guess OP it's finding something....read or sung that the person would like....

...........it's a last mark of respect.......regardless of their faults I think.....

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As the person who has died can't hear what you say about him, then what you are trying to do is give comfort to those left behind - as this often includes offspring and partners, then to say horrible things - or even just brutally honest things - about their loved one seems a little churlish. I think Marisa has the right idea - 'living life to the full' is a nice way of putting it when the deceased has perhaps been a little selfish in their pursuits...

exactly.


Drinking rum before 11am does not make you an alcoholic, it makes you pirate..

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The last line is mine.

 

Brandishing that which will never be seen,

I rummage souls that are lost in the dream.

I carry the tools to entice your misgivings

And bury what you thought were loving feelings.

 

I am the stealer of thoughts, and a very bad man

I am the drummer of life from a very bad band.

I will take all you have, that you thought was good,

And make you feel terribly misunderstood.

 

I love it and smile when I do you all bad,

I love it and laugh when your smiles turn to sad.

I flourish in wonder and my days turn so bright

When I take all your hope and turn of your lights.

 

I am a bad one; I am as bad as they come

I will have all your smiles by the time I am done.

Beware of my presence, take heed in my voice.

For you will fall with the rest of them, you will have no choice.

But a bit like Hitler I was a bit misunderstood.


Drinking rum before 11am does not make you an alcoholic, it makes you pirate..

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Who says it has to be a "church thing"? Most of the funerals I've been to in the last few years haven't been held in a church, haven't been conducted by a minister of religion and haven't had anything "churchy" about them. Rather, they are a commemoration of someone's life...complete with a photographic presentation of their life, contributions from anyone who wanted to speak (sometimes spontaneously) and music that was meaningful to them (my husband's included Mark Knopfler's soundtrack from "Cal" and "Local Hero" and Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb"...because he'd always joked about wanting that played at his funeral. :cute:)

 

Having experienced 3 close funerals in 5 months (my husband, sister and father), I can confirm that having friends gather together for an "appropriate" service is enormously comforting for those left behind grieving - not just family, but friends as well. My only experience of a "non funeral" - when a friend of ours died in her 40s and didn't want a funeral - left us all feeling flat and, somehow, not being able to do justice to a wonderful lady.

 

Yes, I've been to a couple like that. My OH has stated he wants something similar. Still not for me. I'm a bit odd that way. There will be funds for whoever wants to go for a knees up in the local pub/club or whatever my sons/OH want to do after I'm gone. All in all (I hope) I'll be remembered fondly by those who love me.


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away :smile:

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So if you die in your sleep tonight, everyone has already had a chance to say goodbye ?


I want it all, and I want it now.

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So if you die in your sleep tonight, everyone has already had a chance to say goodbye ?

 

If I died in my sleep tonight I wouldn't expect my sister or any of my UK friends or my friends on the mainland to come to say goodbye after I was dead. Most of them know (especially my sister) about my wishes.


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away :smile:

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Fair enough if it is your wishes to stop your family from having that experience.


I want it all, and I want it now.

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..........I think a funeral .....or not....

..........is our last right on this earth....!

..........and usually loved ones respect that........

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