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SydneySister

Many single parents out there planning to make the move or already have?

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Please tell me it's doable on one income. Did you find it hard the whole process alone? Was it harder to make friends once there as less of/ no social life outside of the park etc with kids

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Hi @SydneySister we do have a few single parents who have made the move over, we also have some who have become single since arriving.


If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.

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Guest Priscilla101

I'm a single parent trying to get over. If you get a decent job it is doable. But that depends on your skills etc. The hardest part in having is convincing immigration my ex signed the forms as he refuses to get a passport or driving licence or any photo ID.

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I was a single parent in Australia and found it very difficult. I'm still a single parent back in England and it is hard work, but here's what I have in England that I didn't have in Australia:

 

When my son is ill I have family who will come and stay during the day so that I can go to work and know he is being looked after

When I am ill I have family who will help out, get me some shopping, come and stay to keep me company, entertain my son or take him out to give me some rest. I am also able to go to the doctor, the dentist, or the hospital for appointments by myself as family will look after him whilst I do these things

When my son does my head in (which is frequently!) I have a great support network I can have a whinge with - these are long term friends who also have children the same age so we can compare notes and laugh about whose child has the worst/smelliest/untidiest bedroom or whatever the latest gripe is!

When I need some 'adult' time I have two lot of grandparents who are happy to have my son overnight so that I can have a night out - I also get the odd weekend away with girlfriends for a spa break due to that loving, family support

Sometimes it gets a bit boring that my son just has me for company, so we often have family over for Sunday lunch, or go to other family members where we are all together, play cards, board games, dominoes

 

Things change as the age of the children change. When I was a single parent in Oz my son was 2-4 years old and I had to take him everywhere with me (doctor, dentist, solicitors, shops) and he'd be bored to death but I had no support network that I could count on to drop him off with whilst I did these things in private.

 

I'm not saying it's not doable being a single parent in Oz, but I do know many mums who would rather be a single parent back in their home country than in a foreign one. As the children get older, make friends and have sleepovers that frees your time up a little bit so you can get a social life of your own.

 

If you have PR, Citizenship and a job that provides a great income and concessions for childcare then it will help. In my case I was not entitled to any concessions and the cost of childcare for me outweighed the benefit of me getting a job as I'd have been worse off.

 

The difference between me and you though is that I didn't go to Oz to be a single parent as myself and partner split up after we moved there, but you are going as a single parent. What you need to establish is how much support you have here that you rely on and how much you need to factor that in to your situation if you were to lose it. If you are pretty self sufficient and self reliant then it won't impact you as much as it did me.

 

When it comes to finances, we often take for granted that in the UK our children have free dental treatment, free prescriptions, free schooling, but this is not free in Oz so it's another cost you need to budget for when considering salaries.


Don't Let It Happen To You : What Every Mother Should Know Before Emigrating. Available on Amazon by Rachel Tilley.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dont-Let-Happen-You-Emigrating-ebook/dp/B00FV80PTM/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1451572986&sr=1-1&keywords=rachel+tilley

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I am a single parent and I would never have knowingly moved here as a single parent - ever. I have had no family support at all and it has been a tough road and an emotional one that has taken its toll.

 

Having said that, Australia has ultimately been very good to me and career wise I am flourishing.

 

However, what I gave up can never be replaced. You can do it for sure, but it is tough financially and emotionally.

Edited by Sammy1

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Please tell me it's doable on one income. Did you find it hard the whole process alone? Was it harder to make friends once there as less of/ no social life outside of the park etc with kids

 

Yes, of course it's going to be a bit harder to make friends if you can't get out of the house to meet them, you will have to work harder at it - perhaps join an organisation for single parents. The big thing you have to consider is that most people's closest friends are people they met at school or college - you can make lots of acquaintances when you're older, but it's more difficult to make a real bff.


Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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Yes, of course it's going to be a bit harder to make friends if you can't get out of the house to meet them, you will have to work harder at it - perhaps join an organisation for single parents. The big thing you have to consider is that most people's closest friends are people they met at school or college - you can make lots of acquaintances when you're older, but it's more difficult to make a real bff.

That's true but it's the same whether you are single or not. If you are happy in your own company and don't crave to be around friends and family then yes it can be possible.


If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.

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That's true but it's the same whether you are single or not. If you are happy in your own company and don't crave to be around friends and family then yes it can be possible.

 

Yes of course that's true, but when you're moving with a partner, at least you have one adult to keep you company!


Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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Can you do it on a single income? Depends! If you are highly skilled in an in demand field then probably yes but if you're just pottering along under the average wage then, probably not. Being a single parent is a tough gig at the best of times but without extended family and friends support its potentially a nightmare. Not something I would be doing as a first option

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Midwife so pretty well paid over there yes, and from what I hear and have researched there is much better job satisfaction there in the role.

 

I have literally no support here minus a childminder, which is easily replaced in another country. My son goes everywhere with me, when he is not at childminders and I have been out 4 times in the last 5 years so don't think it will be a big jump for me with having no support. When I am sick I have to get on with it, no help. When my son is sick, I have to take time off, you should see my university absense list - crazy as anytime he was sick and didnt want the childminders I had nobody else to help.

 

What I do have here though is friends, but I dont even see them much :/ they are into going on nights out etc so I spend more time texting them than seeing them. I would like to get the same kind of support when I move after some time as its really useful to have friends for a wee rant sometimes even if just on the phone. x

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Midwife so pretty well paid over there yes, and from what I hear and have researched there is much better job satisfaction there in the role.

 

I have literally no support here minus a childminder, which is easily replaced in another country. My son goes everywhere with me, when he is not at childminders and I have been out 4 times in the last 5 years so don't think it will be a big jump for me with having no support. When I am sick I have to get on with it, no help. When my son is sick, I have to take time off, you should see my university absense list - crazy as anytime he was sick and didnt want the childminders I had nobody else to help.

 

What I do have here though is friends, but I dont even see them much :/ they are into going on nights out etc so I spend more time texting them than seeing them. I would like to get the same kind of support when I move after some time as its really useful to have friends for a wee rant sometimes even if just on the phone. x

 

Well it sounds like you have the independence thing down pat which is good. It is probably not going to be easy to make new friends who would be prepared to offer you much support though I should think. Can't help with the job satisfaction thing but I think I remember comments that there is much less autonomy in Australia.

 

I'm not sure that a midwife (especially a new one) with their average salary (according to Google) of around $50k is what one would describe as "well paid" - I had more in mind something at least half as much again which would take you close to the national average wage. All depending on which visa you enter on, your access to additional financial support might be seriously curtailed as well plus the possibility of having to pay for your sons education. This will be especially an issue if you fancy Sydney - as in your user name.

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Midwife so pretty well paid over there yes, and from what I hear and have researched there is much better job satisfaction there in the role.

 

I have literally no support here minus a childminder, which is easily replaced in another country. My son goes everywhere with me, when he is not at childminders and I have been out 4 times in the last 5 years so don't think it will be a big jump for me with having no support. When I am sick I have to get on with it, no help. When my son is sick, I have to take time off, you should see my university absense list - crazy as anytime he was sick and didnt want the childminders I had nobody else to help.

 

What I do have here though is friends, but I dont even see them much :/ they are into going on nights out etc so I spend more time texting them than seeing them. I would like to get the same kind of support when I move after some time as its really useful to have friends for a wee rant sometimes even if just on the phone. x

 

It sounds like moving to Oz won't make much difference to your support level so that makes a big difference to our concerns. Your existing friends will still be accessible on Facebook/mobile/Skype anyway, though the time difference may mean you get delayed reactions!

 

The only thing I'd be concerned about is that word Sydney in your username. Forget Sydney - you can't afford it. With a small child, you couldn't manage a long commute - and living close to any of the big hospitals will cost you a fortune in rent. I would be looking at Brisbane or Adelaide which are both much lower-cost. Even better, consider going to a smaller city like Newcastle or Cairns.


Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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Midwife so pretty well paid over there yes, and from what I hear and have researched there is much better job satisfaction there in the role.

 

I have literally no support here minus a childminder, which is easily replaced in another country. My son goes everywhere with me, when he is not at childminders and I have been out 4 times in the last 5 years so don't think it will be a big jump for me with having no support. When I am sick I have to get on with it, no help. When my son is sick, I have to take time off, you should see my university absense list - crazy as anytime he was sick and didnt want the childminders I had nobody else to help.

 

What I do have here though is friends, but I dont even see them much :/ they are into going on nights out etc so I spend more time texting them than seeing them. I would like to get the same kind of support when I move after some time as its really useful to have friends for a wee rant sometimes even if just on the phone. x

 

 

I was the same when I was a divorced parent of two little ones back in the UK. Zilch family support and friends either too busy or unable to spend time with me. If you are like that already then whyever not try. Your attitude certainly sounds like you will make the very best of it. I wish you the very best of luck. Being a Midwife should be a great way to meet people too.

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$50k!!! Now way, that's poor...are you sure??? That fuels my fire if its true. My profession in oz pays in excess off $150k pity I can't get a pigging visa grrrr. :(

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Thinking Wollongong or Newcastle Marisa - just want to be close enough to Sydney as thats where some of my family are hence the name lol :) x

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Oh and $55,000 quote on wage - I have spoke to tonnes of employers all of which will pay a band 6 midwife $65,000 minimum working up to $102,000 through gaining experience/years

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