It's Official. Australia Hates Me!

[thinker78]

It's tough being a migrant. Have pmed you.

[Flumper]

You need to move near a city where there's lots of jobs. Sydney or Melbourne? I hated the move at 1st........my 1st job was aweful. I came from an amazing trauma nurse in London to a ward full of oldies getting hip and knee replacements......living in the Country! I moved to Sydney and got a new job as soon as I could. I now live in Bondi and love it.

 

Hold on in there! You can do it! Good luck xx

[lebourvellec]

On a 489 visa the conditions on the visa granted from DIBP state you must live in regional Australia, therefore you can live anywhere in Regional Australia postcodes regardless of being sponsored by NT initially. Adalaide is all regional postcodes. As long as you live and work in regional postcodes you will still be eligible for the 887 visa.

 

I have spent a lot of time in the NT and it's not for everyone, and need to back to the real world sometimes.

[Parley]

Many couples live apart for months at a time for work reasons - I know, I'm one of them, Doesn't make the mariage any less valid, in fact sometimes it helps as it gives both partners a focus in life with jobs etc while apart and teaches you to value the time together even more.

 

No reason why the OP couldn't move somewhere else in Aus with the kids where she can find work and maybe sette down more, and the family can meet up whenever possible until the end of the two years when hopefully her husband can move and join her. Certainly not a suggestion to be dismissed without some thought.

 

 

A few months - yes.

2 years - no.

[Marisawright]

I have nothing against aussie folk, just, I don't like it here.

 

Oz is like that fit guy at school who you have a massive crush on then you get to go out with him and realise he's a massive dick.

 

 

It's DARWIN that's the massive dick. As I'm sure you've gathered from all the posts, the average Australian wouldn't like living in Darwin, never mind a Pom. So give the rest of the country a break!

Edited February 15, 2016 by Marisawright

[caramac]

A few months - yes.

2 years - no.

 

 

We did it. Well, almost - just over 20 months. We saw each other three times in that time. Yes, it was tough at times, mostly financially - running houses on both sides of the world is expensive, but we were fine and we had no problems when we started living together again. Depends on your relationship and your ability to cope on your own, I guess.

[Petals]

I feel for you and a lot of Australians who live down south would feel for you. Living in Darwin from the UK would be such a difference and not a place I would want to live. My parents lived in the Kimberly and I visited a couple of times whilst they were there but not a place I could call home. Jobs for mums are difficult to get in most of Australia I would say. Although easier in the larger cities.

 

Its not unusual that the man likes it and the woman hates it. My parents originally migrated to Africa and Mum loved it but she hated NZ and Aus and my brother got the worst of that. Fortunately I was grown up and had left home.

 

Migration seems so interesting and wonderful when in the planning but the reality is that for most people its just living in somewhere else and like holidays once the dust settles its not always what we want.

 

I am lucky I moved around before I was married, so I had friends with me so it was not hard when I came to Aus. I came to Sydney, my parents went to Perth. I would not want to do it with children though as its hard for mums to settle in.

 

My mum returned a couple of times on her own and stayed a year here and there in UK but then came back. Dad would not budge he was staying put. So I understand where you are at. The problem is that if they had returned the boot would have been onthe other foot and Dad would have been the one whining and moaning that he did not want to be there.

 

I married and returned to live in UK for a couple of years and I whined and moaned and hated it and my peers were not there and I could not make any friends as I was now married etc etc. Had family but been away so long they had their own stuff going on without me. My oh never wanted to stay in UK so we returned to Aus.

 

Once you start the migration ball rolling its a different life, it changes the parameters of our lives. Only advice I could give is get out of Darwin, is it the job that is keeping you there or the lease. If its the lease well they can be broken.

 

Good luck

[Bibbs]

so no car, stuck in the arse end of no where with two small kids.

 

So it's not the country, it's being stranded in a remote location.

 

You are sat at home all day with no company apart from children.

 

I'd suggest :-

 

1. Get a new car

2. Get the kids into day care

3. Get a job and start being social.

 

Anywhere in the world will be a nightmare if you do nothing but sit at home.

[Huntersmummy]

You guys are like the great big brothers/sisters i never had growing up. xxx

Really do appreciate your advice!

 

When I say OZ, i mean here, where i live, DARWIN. Im not bashing the rest of OZ because i haven't been there so i can't comment so relax!

We can't get help (benefits or help with childcare) because we have to be here 117 weeks??? Not that i came here to collect benefits!

 

Theres a lot more personal problems too that I'm not mentioning in my situation but being here in DARWIN, not the whole of OZ, is the main problem.

Yes i am set up to go home but the suggestions you guys are offering, maybe i will look into them before going. Doesn't mean to say I'm not asking for help...

 

Ive read a lot of threads where people say "i hate it here" and are met with "Well f**king leave then!*

Jesus christ....thats what I'm getting at. Some people come here, find friends, work, house, car, LOVE IT....some people move here and struggle soon hard and are met with "f**k off home then" Its almost like stepping off a plane and being forced at gunpoint to love being here!

 

ANDDDD before anyone gets on their high horse, I've met a few aussies who said this exactly to me. "Go home then you pommie bastard" ARGHHH f****k!

 

Ive growing up in a british way of life, its very hard at the age of 29 to change that perception of life and embrace a completely different way of life! For me anyways.

 

Like i said at the beginning, this is my own personal experience that other people might be in after moving here and seeing what advice other people have written, might help them instead.

 

In the meantime, i have a spider to beat to death.

 

xxxx

Edited February 16, 2016 by Huntersmummy

[Guest]

Take a course in something at the local TAFE? Probably help your employability and give you some social interactions. You are only 29...

[ramot]

I've had to move lots of times due to my husband's job, usually for a 2 year posting so all but impossible to get work, as employers knew you weren't there long. Only solution was selling Tupperware, but not complaining.

Then 10 years in a hot Muslim country and not allowed to work there.

What I'm saying is that some of us understand and have had to cope with tough places and conditions to live.

Darwin heat does get easier to cope with in the cooler months.

My only advice is that,life isn't going to come to you, you have to put yourself out there time and time again and hopefully life starts to improve.

The first time you recognise a face when at the shops is a major break through.

You have young children? been there in a new strange place.

Talk to everyone who have small children, admit you are new and lonely. Smile at everyone. Volunteer for anything.

Join anything you can, are there any group meet ups in your area? if not try to start one, I started a wives group in Brunei, couldn't believe how many lonely wives joined who had previously just put up with being lonely.

You sound as though you have a great sense of humour, hope you can find someone there to have a good laugh with, it helps.

 

I know it sounds trite, but you haven't been there long, and really hope it improves for you, if you can give it a bit longer. Not saying you will ever love it, but you might learn to live with it, and move in a couple of years time to somewhere that suits you better.

All the best.

[Paul1Perth]

Ah thank you kindly for all your sweet words.

Right now, I'm in the "Bollocks to it mood, I wanna go home" Maybe its the heat scrambling with the ol noggin??

 

Husband has suggested moving after the 2 years but having such a crap experience here, I don't really wanna. My mind is UK UK UK UK....Primark....UK UK UK.

 

Oh and Paul, we don't pay $1000 for childcare. We WOULD have to if i wanted to do full time work. Unless i start shitting goldbars....

 

Sigh.....this thread is mainly for others who feel in the same boat and feel **** to admit they made the move and don't like it.

 

I have nothing against aussie folk, just, I don't like it here.

 

And for the volunteering side of things....quick story....bought a car off a woman off gumtree, i had to sell it 3 months after due to needing the money etc etc, it caught fire with me in it! And burnt......so no car, stuck in the arse end of no where with two small kids.

 

Oz is like that fit guy at school who you have a massive crush on then you get to go out with him and realise he's a massive dick.

 

Again you say Aus is like that. Darwin is completely different to any major City. Any one of them would be so much better to settle and feel more at home. The major cities are so different to each other too. You get some people who love each one, for whatever reason. I'm sure there are some that love Darwin. Get a cheap flight to Perth and have a day or two there. At least it will be a change of scenery and climate.

[JockinTas]

You guys are like the great big brothers/sisters i never had growing up. xxx

Really do appreciate your advice!

 

When I say OZ, i mean here, where i live, DARWIN. Im not bashing the rest of OZ because i haven't been there so i can't comment so relax!

We can't get help (benefits or help with childcare) because we have to be here 117 weeks??? Not that i came here to collect benefits!

 

Theres a lot more personal problems too that I'm not mentioning in my situation but being here in DARWIN, not the whole of OZ, is the main problem.

Yes i am set up to go home but the suggestions you guys are offering, maybe i will look into them before going. Doesn't mean to say I'm not asking for help...

 

Ive read a lot of threads where people say "i hate it here" and are met with "Well f**king leave then!*

Jesus christ....thats what I'm getting at. Some people come here, find friends, work, house, car, LOVE IT....some people move here and struggle soon hard and are met with "f**k off home then" Its almost like stepping off a plane and being forced at gunpoint to love being here!

 

ANDDDD before anyone gets on their high horse, I've met a few aussies who said this exactly to me. "Go home then you pommie bastard" ARGHHH f****k!

 

Ive growing up in a british way of life, its very hard at the age of 29 to change that perception of life and embrace a completely different way of life! For me anyways.

 

Like i said at the beginning, this is my own personal experience that other people might be in after moving here and seeing what advice other people have written, might help them instead.

 

In the meantime, i have a spider to beat to death.

 

xxxx

 

In spite of all your difficulties, you still manage to retain that humour!! Good for you - your posts make me smile anyway even though I do really feel for you hating Darwin so much. Going on a course at TAFE would be a great idea but what would you do with the children? Could you go in the evenings and leave the kids with OH?

[Guest The Pom Queen]

In spite of all your difficulties, you still manage to retain that humour!! Good for you - your posts make me smile anyway even though I do really feel for you hating Darwin so much. Going on a course at TAFE would be a great idea but what would you do with the children? Could you go in the evenings and leave the kids with OH?

I agree, @Huntersmummy I think you should write a book on your experience, although I understand the sadness in it, I can't help but laugh at your posts, your humour is great, don't ever lose it.

A quick one, what visa are you on as some benefits ie family tax can be claimed earlier than the two years.

[MelanieJS]

What I don't understand is why your husband is quite happy for you to be miserable here. My partner is Australian and hates living here, so we are going home to the UK next month. You are in a partnership so you are both entitled to be happy. If you aren't happy here, then I think your husband should take that on board and between you find a way where you can both be happy.

I don't think him saying, if you go back to the UK it would be without your children, is very supportive.

[Huntersmummy]

Pomsqueen, we're on a 489 skilled visa. We wanted the 457 but Immigration2Oz said thats the worst one especially with a family as if you lose your job, you go home.

 

Hindsight, I wouldn't of minded that! hahahahahaha

 

Ah you know what guys, as much as I'm a moaning bumhole, its not all bad. Days spent with kids feeding the fish, picnics, husband being home at weekends instead of working, even just having a beer in the garden some days have that little ray of light.

 

Haha and yeah, the sense of humour helps! Cant take life too seriously.

 

Gonna make a shitty situation into a good one and look at some courses and volunteering. Even put an AD on gumtree for ironing. I can't iron for **** but ill give it a go!

 

Thanks for the advice guys.

 

Love love love xxx

[Guest The Pom Queen]

Pomsqueen, we're on a 489 skilled visa. We wanted the 457 but Immigration2Oz said thats the worst one especially with a family as if you lose your job, you go home.

 

Hindsight, I wouldn't of minded that! hahahahahaha

 

Ah you know what guys, as much as I'm a moaning bumhole, its not all bad. Days spent with kids feeding the fish, picnics, husband being home at weekends instead of working, even just having a beer in the garden some days have that little ray of light.

 

Haha and yeah, the sense of humour helps! Cant take life too seriously.

 

Gonna make a shitty situation into a good one and look at some courses and volunteering. Even put an AD on gumtree for ironing. I can't iron for **** but ill give it a go!

 

Thanks for the advice guys.

 

Love love love xxx

Lol I will send you my ironing over, anything to stop you doing massage work pmsl.

[Huntersmummy]

If you want burnt black holes in your knickers and frayed towels, be my guest! lol! It would save me getting my battered old titties out!

 

 

Lol I will send you my ironing over, anything to stop you doing massage work pmsl.

[Marisawright]

@Huntersmommy - just to help put things in perspective, one of my friends moved up from Sydney to Darwin with her new hubby last year. For the first six months she was constantly on Facebook in tears, she hated it - and she's Australian born and bred!! She is stuck there because her husband is in the navy (as she says, it's OK for him, he doesn't even have to bl00dy live there himself, since he's off on a ship most of the time!).

 

However she is much happier now because she's met up with a great bunch of women on facebook

 

 

Maybe you could try something like that? Not saying it would convince you to stay, but it might make things more bearable till you can work out what to do. You don't have to be a good dancer, you don't have to be young or sexy or thin (I'm 62 and I go to belly dance class), and you don't have to show your tummy either. It's a wiggle and a good giggle.

Edited February 16, 2016 by ali
facebook link removed

[Rachel Tilley]

Hi Huntersmummy,

 

I feel your pain but have to admit you have made me laugh with your humour and frankness. I remember your posts before you moved and you were a bit reluctant about going but decided to trust your hubby that he wouldn't trap you in Oz by refusing to go home.

 

I see many people have suggested that you move elsewhere within Oz and try another state (even though you have stated that your visa ties you to NT for two years!) However, even if you moving interstate was an option you still couldn't move interstate with the kids without his consent, so you are trapped in NT unless hubby changes his mind and sets you all free!

 

It's sad to read that people are still getting into these situations. I love your analogy of Oz being the school boy crush who turns out to be a complete tosser once you get to date him - spot on! Big hugs hun :hug: