bristolman Posted April 8, 2016 Share Posted April 8, 2016 Sure its not the bloody Gold Coast rather than Australia itself? Just a thought... That's fair enough BUT I never see you say the same about someone wanting to leave the UK. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted April 9, 2016 Share Posted April 9, 2016 Don't live there-why would I? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted April 9, 2016 Share Posted April 9, 2016 (edited) That's fair enough BUT I never see you say the same about someone wanting to leave the UK. Not sure if I've seen Starlight say it, but I've seen quite a few posts suggesting to potential migrants that they should move to another part of the UK or Europe instead. I've said it myself. It always surprises me how many Brits are willing to move thousands of miles (at huge cost) to escape a nasty area, when often all they really need to do is move counties. Considering how small Britain is, you'd think they'd be aware of what life is like elsewhere. Edited April 9, 2016 by Marisawright Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macalec Posted April 9, 2016 Share Posted April 9, 2016 Yes its very hard losing a family member and being so far away , I went home May 2003 and stayed with my brother and two days after arriving back in Aus he had a major heart attack and died , I have never really gotten over it , Yes i felt guilty like you , so I can understand you , Hang in there love it will get easier Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted April 9, 2016 Share Posted April 9, 2016 Don't live there-why would I? Well you keep posting on the Moving back to the UK part of the forum and have made it clear you won't be doing that either Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted April 9, 2016 Share Posted April 9, 2016 Not sure if I've seen Starlight say it, but I've seen quite a few posts suggesting to potential migrants that they should move to another part of the UK or Europe instead. I've said it myself. It always surprises me how many Brits are willing to move thousands of miles (at huge cost) to escape a nasty area, when often all they really need to do is move counties. Considering how small Britain is, you'd think they'd be aware of what life is like elsewhere. @Marisawright have you decided if you will move to a different part of the UK or return to Australia? My son who is living and working in Ireland has just been visiting relatives (on Dad's side of the family) in Liverpool and Kendal and really enjoyed both places. The rellies are spoiling him rotten. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted April 9, 2016 Share Posted April 9, 2016 (edited) @Marisawright have you decided if you will move to a different part of the UK or return to Australia? Yes and no! We've decided that we'll go back at some point, because financially we may have to eventually: if we stay, we'll be banking on the UK & Australian governments coming to an agreement on social security - otherwise we'll get no Australian pension. We wouldn't get the Aussie pension till our 70's anyway (because it's means tested) but at some point, our super will run low and we'll have to go back. I don't want to faced with starting all over again at 75, especially since we'll be moving to a new area of Australia which means making a whole new set of friends. If we were enjoying the UK, we'd take the chance (after all, we might pop our clogs before we need the pension!!) - but we're not. There are only two things I'm enjoying: one is the closeness to Europe and the other is the closeness to one of my sisters. For my oh, he's loving the lower UV index and the European trips. Otherwise the UK has no advantages over Australia for either of us: it's not worse, but it's not better either. So, the only question is how long we stay. I'm all for going back this summer, because now I know we've got to move, I'd rather just do it - then I can get settled and set up a proper home with my belongings around me. My oh wants to stay another twelve months - BUT there is no way I'm spending another year in So'ton. So I've said it's up to him to find a place in a better city: if he can do that, we'll stay. That may sound unreasonable, but you don't know the background! I wanted to try somewhere else in the UK in November (when our lease expired), and I spent weeks on the internet and ringing agents only to have my oh say he wanted to go home in May 2016 so we might as well put up with So'ton for another six months. I gave in - but by February he was already talking about staying until 2017 so I felt as though I'd been conned! I told him that I wasn't doing all that hard work again, it was his turn - I gave him all the information I had and told him to go for it. It's now April and he's done precisely nothing - but he's still talking about staying another year. If he thinks I'm going to give in again, he's in for a nasty surprise, and I've told him so several times! Edited April 9, 2016 by Marisawright Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted April 9, 2016 Share Posted April 9, 2016 Yes and no! We've decided that we'll go back at some point, because financially we may have to eventually: if we stay, we'll be banking on the UK & Australian governments coming to an agreement on social security - otherwise we'll get no Australian pension. We wouldn't get the Aussie pension till our 70's anyway (because it's means tested) but at some point, our super will run low and we'll have to go back. I don't want to faced with starting all over again at 75, especially since we'll be moving to a new area of Australia which means making a whole new set of friends. If we were enjoying the UK, we'd take the chance (after all, we might pop our clogs before we need the pension!!) - but we're not. There are only two things I'm enjoying: one is the closeness to Europe and the other is the closeness to one of my sisters. For my oh, he's loving the lower UV index and the European trips. Otherwise the UK has no advantages over Australia for either of us: it's not worse, but it's not better either. So, the only question is how long we stay. I'm all for going back this summer, because now I know we've got to move, I'd rather just do it - then I can get settled and set up a proper home with my belongings around me. My oh wants to stay another twelve months - BUT there is no way I'm spending another year in So'ton. So I've said it's up to him to find a place in a better city: if he can do that, we'll stay. That may sound unreasonable, but you don't know the background! I wanted to try somewhere else in the UK in November (when our lease expired), and I spent weeks on the internet and ringing agents only to have my oh say he wanted to go home in May 2016 so we might as well put up with So'ton for another six months. I gave in - but by February he was already talking about staying until 2017 so I felt as though I'd been conned! I told him that I wasn't doing all that hard work again, it was his turn - I gave him all the information I had and told him to go for it. It's now April and he's done precisely nothing - but he's still talking about staying another year. If he thinks I'm going to give in again, he's in for a nasty surprise, and I've told him so several times! It doesn't sound unreasonable at all. It sounds as though your OH has moving back here in 2017 in his mind so is putting off arrangements etc until nearer that time. Frustrating for you though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted April 9, 2016 Share Posted April 9, 2016 It doesn't sound unreasonable at all. It sounds as though your OH has moving back here in 2017 in his mind so is putting off arrangements etc until nearer that time. Frustrating for you though. Yes, exactly. If he'd agreed to move in November I would've been fine - but now, I feel he was just fobbing me off and knew perfectly well he wanted to stay longer. He doesn't find So'ton as soul-destroying as I do - he's a bit of a loner so he's not so troubled by the lack of friends, and he's quite happy getting his long walks, and sitting reading his books enjoying the beautiful view from our flat. Plus he hates moving house, too, always has! So I'm beginning to suspect he's hoping I'll get settled in So'ton eventually and will come round to the idea of staying put. I've tried everything to get him to take me seriously. In February I told him that if he hadn't found a place by April, I'd be booking my flight home for the end of May, with or without him. Of course I've already backed down on that, I'm now saying September - but I'm not giving way any further than that! I don't mean I'm planning to leave him - the old bugger drives me mad sometimes but I still love him - but I'll go back to Oz, find a flat for us, and leave him to sort everything out in the UK, then he can join me when he likes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted April 9, 2016 Share Posted April 9, 2016 Yes, exactly. If he'd agreed to move in November I would've been fine - but now, I feel he was just fobbing me off and knew perfectly well he wanted to stay longer. He doesn't find So'ton as soul-destroying as I do - he's a bit of a loner so he's not so troubled by the lack of friends, and he's quite happy getting his long walks, and sitting reading his books enjoying the beautiful view from our flat. Plus he hates moving house, too, always has! So I'm beginning to suspect he's hoping I'll get settled in So'ton eventually and will come round to the idea of staying put. I've tried everything to get him to take me seriously. In February I told him that if he hadn't found a place by April, I'd be booking my flight home for the end of May, with or without him. Of course I've already backed down on that, I'm now saying September - but I'm not giving way any further than that! I don't mean I'm planning to leave him - the old bugger drives me mad sometimes but I still love him - but I'll go back to Oz, find a flat for us, and leave him to sort everything out in the UK, then he can join me when he likes. Don't blame you. Mind you, I'm a bit like your OH in that I hate moving house too. He's probably still getting over the move to the UK. Give him a couple of months of gentle persuasion and he may come round more to the idea of the move back to Australia. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted April 9, 2016 Share Posted April 9, 2016 Good luck marisa, hang in there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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