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emmaroo

To go or not to go??

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Hello

 

It's been a while since I have been on here. Some of you might remember that between 2009-2012 I moved back and forth between Scotland and Australia. This was due mainly to my parents ( my only family) being in Perth. I however in 2012 due to personal reasons moved back to Scotland permanently! I can't believe it's almost 4 years that I have been back. I was very lucky as within 6 weeks of being back I had a job and a house and all has been well. Then in summer of 2013 my parents made the decision to move back to Scotland after being in Perth for 22 years! I was over the moon. Over the past few months though have been reassessing my life and thinking about going back to Perth. I haven't said anything about it to my parents as I am still not 100%. I know they would be extremely pleased if I did move back as they have not really settled back into life here and would move back to Perth in a heartbeat. I know the life I could have in Perth and I know it would be so much nicer than what I have here. I just always get this pang of fear when I think about it. I'm not looking for people to tell me what I should do I'm just really using this as an outlet for all my thoughts of confusion!

 

I'm sure some of you can relate to my post!

 

A very confused Emma! :arghh:


Lang may yer lum reek!

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What is causing your fear?


Timeline: 309/100 Sent 7/8/13, Money Taken 9/8/13, CO appointed 3/9/13. Med 3/12/13. Police check 4/12/13. VISA GRANTED 8/4/14, Subclass100. Recce August 2014. Arrived 30 July 2015.

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A little bit of fear is good, it means you're alive


Opinions are like ar**eholes, everybody has one and generally full of s**t. Including me.

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Not surprised you're unsure, any chance you could have a little holiday to Perth? might help to resolve your feelings one way or another.


Jeremy Corbyn on the EU  " A European bureaucracy totally unaccountable to anybody"

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Hello

 

It's been a while since I have been on here. Some of you might remember that between 2009-2012 I moved back and forth between Scotland and Australia. This was due mainly to my parents ( my only family) being in Perth. I however in 2012 due to personal reasons moved back to Scotland permanently! I can't believe it's almost 4 years that I have been back. I was very lucky as within 6 weeks of being back I had a job and a house and all has been well. Then in summer of 2013 my parents made the decision to move back to Scotland after being in Perth for 22 years! I was over the moon. Over the past few months though have been reassessing my life and thinking about going back to Perth. I haven't said anything about it to my parents as I am still not 100%. I know they would be extremely pleased if I did move back as they have not really settled back into life here and would move back to Perth in a heartbeat. I know the life I could have in Perth and I know it would be so much nicer than what I have here. I just always get this pang of fear when I think about it. I'm not looking for people to tell me what I should do I'm just really using this as an outlet for all my thoughts of confusion!

 

I'm sure some of you can relate to my post!

 

A very confused Emma! :arghh:

I think that says a lot....but I don't think we ever truly know what we want on different days depending on how our mood is etc....if we have a crappy day that can muddy our thoughts, good days can rose tint things etc......but I'm sure wherever you are if you have people around you who are positive and good support you'll be fine.

For me, the sunshine is a huge pull....think about the pros and cons of each...Sometimes writing things down in black and white gives us a clearer view. I'm sure you'll be fine wherever you go but if your heart is somewhere else that's a big thing xxx


''Don't bother searching for the light at the end of the tunnel.....march right up there and turn the b*stard thing on yourself.'' :wink:Sarah Millican

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I can't really understand why you would want to go again and what has changed for you that makes you think you would settle in Perth this time around. Obviously there are things going on other than what you have written because just from your post it seems a bit odd, to say the least.

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.......hello Emma....!

.......I've said it hundreds of times on here.....

.......needs and wants..!

.......where fills the most......

.......and as others have said.......time has a way of changing them...

........all you can do is decide where fills the most for now.....and the foreseeable future......

.........good luck to you.......just be happy in your decision.....Xxx

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Thanks for your comments. I am not sure what causes the feeling of fear if I'm honest, maybe just the thought of going through it all again? I don't see how my post is odd however, I am contemplating a move to the other side of the world and I am just feeling a bit unsure nothing odd in that! I am after all only human!!


Lang may yer lum reek!

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What's changed that might make it work for you this time around? I'd suggest going for a holiday and if you cry buckets at the thought of leaving then either don't leave (that seems to be the Quoll family modus operandi over the years!) or make plans to return after you've got back.

 

Im sure we all have days when the mundane of the now pales in comparison with the rosy glow we have of memories! IIRC life wasn't that great for you there before - and life isn't all about the weather despite what some folk may think!

 

End of the day, you're still young enough to pop back if that's what you feel like or pop back again when it begins to pall. If you're up for an adventure then give it a go but if you're planning to find somewhere to settle down and become a cat lady (or equivalent) think long and hard.

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Thanks for your comments. I am not sure what causes the feeling of fear if I'm honest, maybe just the thought of going through it all again? I don't see how my post is odd however, I am contemplating a move to the other side of the world and I am just feeling a bit unsure nothing odd in that! I am after all only human!!

 

We are the same re the fear to try Oz out. On one day we are so positive like life is for living on other days we are like no its too much of a financial risk :(

Know that feeling!


Maria and Mike X

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Thanks for your comments. I am not sure what causes the feeling of fear if I'm honest, maybe just the thought of going through it all again? I don't see how my post is odd however, I am contemplating a move to the other side of the world and I am just feeling a bit unsure nothing odd in that! I am after all only human!!

 

I think people would see it as odd because most people have the opposite problem - they find it hard to settle in Australia because their parents are back in the UK.

 

You seem to be saying that you couldn't settle in Perth in spite of your parents being there with you. If that's the case, then why on earth would you think it'll be different this time?

 

One thing I've learned from these forums - and from my own recent experience - is that you can't always base your decision on logical considerations. Sometimes no matter how much "better" a life you can have elsewhere, you will never be happy if you feel you don't belong.


Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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Thanks for your comments. I am not sure what causes the feeling of fear if I'm honest, maybe just the thought of going through it all again? I don't see how my post is odd however, I am contemplating a move to the other side of the world and I am just feeling a bit unsure nothing odd in that! I am after all only human!!

 

Re-read your OP. I think what may be worrying you is that you move back, your parents follow, then you get cold feet but can't move again because your parents will have followed you again. Also whether you might still find a good job etc this time around.

 

Suggest list the pluses and minuses and unless the pluses for Perth are overwhelmingly weighted I would stay put personally.


Timeline: 309/100 Sent 7/8/13, Money Taken 9/8/13, CO appointed 3/9/13. Med 3/12/13. Police check 4/12/13. VISA GRANTED 8/4/14, Subclass100. Recce August 2014. Arrived 30 July 2015.

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Plus the fact that according to some, jobs are a bit thinner on the ground in Perth and it is now an expensive place to live in these days.


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away :smile:

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Would you consider anywhere else in Australia? Maybe the itch is Australia, but Perth doesn't quite scratch it.

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Hey, I remember you from way-back-when -- I think your Boyf was doing the partner visa at the same time as I... Don't have much to say but 'Hi' and 'Good Luck'.. :wink:

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I'd think seriously if Perth is necessary the place to return. A lot has changed over the years. I wonder just what the difference is to what drove the OP and parents out in the first place? But would another locality in Australia be better in not being a rewind of previously?

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She said she left due to personal reasons so presumably nothing to do with Australia,


I want it all, and I want it now.

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She said she left due to personal reasons so presumably nothing to do with Australia,

 

Correct. I have no issues with Perth or Australia the reasons I left were nothing to do with that.

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Correct. I have no issues with Perth or Australia the reasons I left were nothing to do with that.

 

I think that comment was referring to the OP, or are you the same person with two different usernames?


Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband applied UK spouse visa Jan 2015, granted March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

"The stranger who comes home does not make himself at home but makes home itself strange." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

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Hello

 

It's been a while since I have been on here. Some of you might remember that between 2009-2012 I moved back and forth between Scotland and Australia. This was due mainly to my parents ( my only family) being in Perth. I however in 2012 due to personal reasons moved back to Scotland permanently! I can't believe it's almost 4 years that I have been back. I was very lucky as within 6 weeks of being back I had a job and a house and all has been well. Then in summer of 2013 my parents made the decision to move back to Scotland after being in Perth for 22 years! I was over the moon. Over the past few months though have been reassessing my life and thinking about going back to Perth. I haven't said anything about it to my parents as I am still not 100%. I know they would be extremely pleased if I did move back as they have not really settled back into life here and would move back to Perth in a heartbeat. I know the life I could have in Perth and I know it would be so much nicer than what I have here. I just always get this pang of fear when I think about it. I'm not looking for people to tell me what I should do I'm just really using this as an outlet for all my thoughts of confusion!

 

I'm sure some of you can relate to my post!

 

A very confused Emma! :arghh:

Try to do a bit of rationalisation about what works and what doesn't for you here and the same for Aus, maybe that would at least give you some basis on which to consider whether going with your feelings is just going to plonk you down in a situation which is not going to be sustainable again, because for the upsides of Aus to be realised some practical things have to work and also life n Aus has to be better than what you have now.

I think we would go back in a minute if we could be sure of making a success of part time professional work with a transition into consultancy work but we feel that is unrealistic in Aus so we are looking at how we can do that here and ensure we get a lot of sunshine holidays from the uk.

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Thanks so much all. Some of what was said really helped me. I am staying where I am in Scotland and so are my parents, not to say a move back in the future won't happen. Thanks again and all the best. Might be back in another 4 years asking the same questions!!

 

Emma


Lang may yer lum reek!

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