Autism Spectrum Disorder

[jodipodi]

An assessment could certainly do harm if it prevents our family migrating Sammy, that in itself is another part of my boys 'possible' future....however I do feel that often professionals are so afraid of missing something that they look for things to pick out... that can also be normal things ....( And rightly so that they should be vigilant, it's not a bad thing).... But I do think they can just as much jump in with both feet instead of a gradual approach.

 

Anyway, the questions I ask are valid right now because I must ensure I am doing right by him...in every way, not just educationally. Oz may or may not be right.

There are decisions to be made and they will be based around this as well as other things so I must explore them all.

My boy does not definitively meet the triad of impairments, just skirts around the edges of some traits. Not all professionals are in agreement I might add.

This is why it can wait...a short while, it was not a point blank no....just a no.....not yet... Wait and see.xxxxxx

Edited December 9, 2015 by jodipodi

[Paul1Perth]

Hi Jodipodi, our youngest, born here has ASD. High functioning like you say but it's been hard work just the same. When he first started school he had a teacher who was pretty horrible and she didn't know how to handle him at all. She wanted him expelled in his first year. Luckily my eldest son had been through the same school and said the teacher was horrible and we knew the headmaster pretty well. It led to the school psych being called in for a meeting with my son, my wife the teacher and the headmaster where she got told that she would have to deal with it and we managed to get a teachers help assigned to the class. Pretty soon after he was moved to a different class as the teacher really couldn't cope and was a nasty tempered woman who was ready for retirement.

 

The rest of his primary school years were pretty good and the school (it's only a small local school too) really put a lot of things in place to help him and us. They bought a desk and chair that sort of fit round him and stopped him moving around so much. The chair was high so he didn't reach the floor. The rest of the kids sat together on long benches but my son couldn't sit still and he used to disrupt whoever he was sat next to.:rolleyes: Luckily he stood up for himself and didn't put up with kids who wanted to bully him or anyone else. He got suspended a couple of times and ended up with some good friends who were usually the rougher kids who got in a bit of trouble too. All up his primary school days were good and he enjoyed going after the first year.

 

When it came to secondary school we thought he might go to the same public one his brother went to but in the end we got him in a private, religious based school near us that had a "stream" for kids with learning difficulties. They also had a strict uniform policy and a lot more discipline which suits our youngest. He needs rules and regulations. He had the same teacher all the way through the school who was lovely. Very touchy feely, which our youngest likes and feels safe with. She treated them like family. He liked that school too, did well, got a couple of awards for just trying, never did anything even near academically normal, used to take him hours to do the easiest bit of homework and they used to get a lot. That stressed him out a bit but again, plenty of support from the school and staff.

 

I forgot to mention that my wife noticed he was "different" when he was a baby. We had been used to our eldest sitting on the bed when he was a baby, looking at you, sitting still, walking and talking fairly early. The youngest wouldn't sit still for a second, used to fall off the bed, not make eye contact etc. I don't think he slept a night through till he was about 8 years old, used to get anxiety attacks and shout out for us. My wife is a nurse and a midwife and managed to get to see a doctor who diagnosed ADHD at first and then autism later, he also has epilepsy which came out a bit later, when he was about 10 I think. He's on medication for that now and it's under control.

 

All up though we've been pretty happy with the support he's had through school. He's always stuck up for himself mind you, in fact he used to stick up for a lot of the others with learning difficulties at school if anyone picked on them. I think it's part of the autism that he doesn't have any fear of anyone, even the kids that were supposed to be tough gave him a wide berth. They had a nice group that were all a bit "different" some of them very clever but seemed to get on well.

 

One of the other things that has been an absolute godsend has been the surf club. His elder brother was really good at swimming and competing and we used to be down there the whole time and everyone knew the youngest. He used to take down a pile of toy cars if we were going to a carnival where we were at the beach all day sometimes and a lot of the other kids (especially the girls) used to spend a lot of time playing with him and keeping him occupied. He's 20 now and the surf club is still like a second home to him. He helps out as an age group manager and seems to have a good rapport with a lot of the younger kids. He's pretty good on a paddle board and spends hours just messing about on it.

 

He has a job now too, part time at a coffee shop by the beach and he gets a disability allowance from the government. He was funny when we found out he was going to get that as he couldn't understand how they could give him money for not doing anything, as he put it.:laugh: Luckily he's always wanted to work and the job suits him perfectly. He doesn't drink, can't drive yet and goes most places on his bike or walks, so he doesn't spend much. Consequently he's got more money than his elder brother, although I can't see him being able to make his won way and move out on his own any time soon. That's fine by us though, just one of those things you have to do when you have a kid with autism.

 

Don't know anything about the UK system and what support he would have got there but it's gone pretty well here and he's a happy kid, which is a lot to be thankful for.:cool:

 

Jeez, just posted and realised how I rambled on.

[Paul1Perth]

Forgot to mention that like Johndoe, our youngest managed to get registered with a not for profit agency called edge in his second last year of school. I think we found it but the school were very supportive. They got him a placement in the dental clinic which is attached to one of the big hospitals. He was only helping out with clerical work but the staff were fantastic and treated him very well. He used to love going and he got paid a little bit. Then in his final year he got another placement in the University of WA. He had to go for an interview for that job and was amazed when he got the position. He had to study for a cert 4 in clerical studies and management but he got paid for his one day a week there and had to do a lot more work, which was tough at the time. He managed to get through it and again the staff were brilliant with him. When he left they had a party for him (they used to have cakes nearly every day he worked, I used to get invited in when I went to pick him up after work to finish them off). At the party they were all making a big fuss of him (nearly all women) and saying how much they would miss him and out of the blue he stood there and did a speech to thank everyone. Blew me away, never thought he would be able to manage anything like that, had the staff in tears.

 

He's been invited to do a couple of talks for edge too. Gets really nervous but they've made a couple of videos of him and they've gone pretty well. I saw one and you could see his legs shaking as he was talking but he got through it.:cool:

 

Good luck with your decision Jodie. Personally I think the weather and outdoor lifestyle (which a lot of people don't get) has suited him. He went to swim class like just about every other kid and liked swimming. His motor control is all over the place though so he was never going to become a world beater but it's essential kids can swim here. So much water about and pools in peoples gardens. He loves being outside and playing just about any sport. He played auskick for a couple of seasons but the ball had to hit him on the head for him to get a kick. The poor lad marking him would have got talked to death though. It was pretty comical to watch. He had to stop when he found out he had epilepsy. He still loves the surf club though and spends hours on the ocean just playing about on his board with friends. If it wasn't for his board and ability they wouldn't be friends but they have something in common with him and they all treat him like a mate, even though they all know he's "different".

[Paul1Perth]

Thank you all so much. .

I actually don't feel quite as depressed about the whole support situation in Oz after hearing your views to be honest.... I really thought it was going to be doom and gloom....do you all feel the life outside the classroom is better for your kids than UK?

 

Just read back a bit and saw the one about the weather can be extreme. We live close to the beach, 10 minute walk tops, that's about as long as it takes him to walk to work. Point is the weather near the beach always seems better. Gets the sea breeze in the afternoon usually, absolutely beautiful in the mornings and often at the weekends we spend the whole morning down there. We're half way through December and it's not been that hot yet. I call extreme anything above 40 mind you and I would still be down the beach and in the sea then. Check how many days we get over 40 and it's not that many. I honestly don't know anyone who stays in because it's too hot but know plenty who head straight to the beach for a cool down dip and socialise.

 

Like I said though we are in walking distance and can be there in the car in 2 minutes, always free parking and plenty of it. There's 3 big parks in the suburb, one with free tennis courts, a squash club across the road, free cricket nets at the school park across the road, my son loves those and goes across with friends often. I've never known him not want to go anywhere 'cos it's too hot.

[jodipodi]

Paul your post has warmed my heart and started my day off with a smile. I'm so pleased that your son has had a positive experience in Australia and in life in general.

Actually... The fact that a few of you here have said how your kids have established solid friendships is fantastic, that's is a worry of mine, fear of bullying.... But I suppose we all worry about that whether our kids are with or without learning needs.

There are times I think he may have ASD and times I think no way...some ASD characteristics are very typical masculine behaviour too. He is an extremely strong willed child who knows exactly what he wants and kicks a fuss if anyone put beans on his fishcake....he doesn't like beans... Nursery are trying to make a big deal out of it, but I'm sure as hell my hubby wouldn't eat his either if it had bean juice on it....because he knows he doesn't like it. My little lad eats allsorts of stuff, just not fussed on certain things like beans, spaghetti or things with tomato based sauces. However will sit and eat a punnet of cherry tomatoes.

He makes eye contact pretty much 'normally' if there's such a thing....but zones out if he's doing something he enjoys, gets right into it....but also has had hearing difficultly from being little.... Sometimes he ignores you when you say his name, but he also interacts with people well and wants to share things he's done to get praise, he loves blocks, trains, sensory things etc but also loves to run wild outside or in soft play....with other kids ..he understands emotions and can recognise sadness, happiness etc in a story book....things like this, so he isn't glaringly ASD. But I know it's such a broad and fuzzy spectrum so I'm not so naive to think he has to be glaringly obvious to be ASD. I just think he's got little traits, which may or may not be....but is getting along fine in my eyes. Hes still in nursery and doesn't even start school until September so we have time.

Thanks Paul I've loved reading your posts, and everyone else's....John I remember Jakes story and LKC I remember reading your daughters too......thanks for your open Ness xxxxx

[b123]

Hi Jodipodi,, I am also v interested in this.. Many thanks.. Would love to come to Oz.. V lucky. have pr visa, have to use within 2 yrs,, son is nearly 7 and defo has Aspergers/AdhD I think.. So not sure.. Will have to wait til he has full diagnosis but utterly regret Not getting citizenship and skipping off at 2 yrs,, not 4 ( XX

Hi I would like to hear from parents of children with ASD, especially those on the 'higher functioning ' side/end/ of the scale and especially those whos children have experienced both UK and Australian education.

I would like to hear your views on Australian schooling/support , comparisons to the UK schooling/support, how you feel about your child's progression/experience in UK or Oz in general in terms of do you believe the life in Oz has provided a better environment in general or not for your child to thrive in - not just education wise but for the day to day life as a family - weather, leisure time etc?

[Sustain]

Which state you are going will have had different outcomes for parents

 

Our experience was within Victoria and involved public and private (one catholic one independent). Problem with both is you either pay by mortgage or rent to be in the right post code, or you pay direct school fees. Either way each school and pupil is different and trust your gut feeling.

 

We received a diagnosis while in Australia (very long and drawn out process, which we ended up going private)

The school she was in flatly said they could not cope a month before the summer holidays (prep year starting in Feb)

 

Points we found:

 

Get the right team around you and this includes both the school (needs principal to be a champion) and outside professionals.

There is so much work that has to be done in the home at times its like why are we paying all this money and still doing 30 hours a week ourselves - but that's important place for reinforcement

Look into future years at the school to see if it remains the right school - it may not be or it might be evolving ie new principal starts with early years with intent on middle and higher school later.

There is light at the end of the tunnel - daughter is now top 1% of highly academic school and looking like achieving dux and from social aspect her year turned up for her recent party.

Not all professionals are going to be right. We went through 3 before we got our star.

We did not find associating with parents of similar kids helpful, some might, we didn't.

Its not a disease its a gift, its learning how to get the best out of it that's difficult - anyone tried flying a helicopter for the first time? While singing opera

Movie theatres can be accommodating to lowering volume but you need to ask

Why supermarket shop when you can have home delivery (don't put your self in the difficult positions to start with)

[jodipodi]

Thank you all so much for your insights and advice.... I agree with lots of different aspects of your posts....it's my little boys birthday today and he's growing so much in lots of ways.

Thank you x

[Kayfirth]

We're wanting to move to Melbourne but as any family with children, we have alot of concerns & questions.

Our biggest concern is our 6 year old son who has ADHD, it's mild but you seem to have answered my questions, I agree there can be 'too much support' he doesn't have one to one but I mostly feared Australia's attitude toward ADHD.

I feel better reading your comment, thanks

[Quoll]

We're wanting to move to Melbourne but as any family with children, we have alot of concerns & questions.

Our biggest concern is our 6 year old son who has ADHD, it's mild but you seem to have answered my questions, I agree there can be 'too much support' he doesn't have one to one but I mostly feared Australia's attitude toward ADHD.

I feel better reading your comment, thanks

Victoria has the most draconian disability support criteria and ADHD won't get anything at all and it's very much luck of the draw as to how schools and teachers deal with it.

[Kayfirth]

Thank you for that. X