Geordie girl Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 Hi all, well i wrote a post a few months ago about my situation when my hubby lost his job - but here it is again in brief.....and an update *English - living in Australia with English hubby for almost 28 years *2 Aussie teenage daughters *Hubby lost his job in March after being with the company for 25 years *Always wanted to move "Home" but things always got in the way. So we struggled with the whole losing of job experience for a few months then started on the "do we stay or do we go" situation. Finally we decided to move back to England (although not 100% convinced it was the right thing to do - but knew we were not happy here too).....anyway, we sold our house and have settlement in 4 weeks.........and now hubby doesnt think we should move which is making me re-think it all too. OMG what a dilemma?? We have organised a house to rent in england, looked at schools for our daughters, told my work i'm leaving (not resigned as such tho....yet), organised the pet and furniture removal and sold most of our big furniture items to the new owners of our house..................but also looking at rental properties here because we wont be able to buy and settle in time....aaaagggghhhhhh ANY help or suggestions would be great thanks. Thanks heaps Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 Oh goodness ... is it just nerves or something that's been around for a while. What about a day off with the kids in school and you and your hubby getting out of the house and really having a good conversation about what it is you both want. Sometimes having these conversations at home, surrounded by the chaos of the situation makes it difficult. What do your daughters think? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 Fear of the unknown is always stultifying. It ain't working in Aus so move on. If it works you win and if it doesn't you can move on again. None of us has a crystal ball unfortunately. Sometimes I think talking about it incessantly just makes you spin on the spot and go nowhere - you made your decision logically based on the best facts you had available to you at the time but do try not to burn bridges in the process - take a career break, don't quit and you have got citizenship? Enjoy the adventure! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katie22 Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 Tricky one as it's inevitable that everyone has last minute jitters before a big move. Are all of you feeling the same? If you don't go, will that be the end of it or will you both wonder "what if" in 6 mths, 6 yrs down the line? If you're not happy here now, why are you going to be happy deciding not to go? Sometimes I really do think we overthink things. Get one doubt in your mind and focus on it then it will multiply and then the genuine fear sets in. Breaking through that wall of fear though can be very liberating and open the door to many opportunities. Good luck with the decision. And if you decide not to go, it really isn't the end of the world. X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosiehome Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 You are dealing with so much at the moment, no wonder your mind is whirling. As Ali said perhaps get out of the chaos for a while and sit down as a family and write out a For Australia/ Against Australia and a For UK/ Against UK . Sometimes writing it down and talking it through makes it clearer. If you reach a decision based on the pros and cons then just keep looking back at the list and the reasons for your decision when you are wavering. The last minute jitters are terrible things. I leave in only two weeks and I'm all over the place. I didn't realise how many people I am going to miss until it came to having to say the hard goodbyes. I have to keep re-focussing on what I am going to, rather than what I am leaving behind. Good luck. It's not an easy choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 *English - living in Australia with English hubby for almost 28 years *Always wanted to move "Home" but things always got in the way. Surely those two lines are the only ones that matter? If you don't move "home" now, it's likely you never will. Once your husband gets another job, he's going to hold on to it as long as possible - maybe till retirement. As you get older, it will become harder and harder to move - pension issues, your daughters may be married to Aussies so you'll be leaving grandchildren behind. Say to yourself - "if I don't make this move now, I'll be spending the rest of my entire life in Australia". How does that feel? If it doesn't upset you, then maybe staying in Oz is the right thing to do. If the thought nearly breaks your heart, then for goodness sake get on that plane! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosiehome Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 Say to yourself - "if I don't make this move now, I'll be spending the rest of my entire life in Australia". How does that feel? If it doesn't upset you, then maybe staying in Oz is the right thing to do. If the thought nearly breaks your heart, then for goodness sake get on that plane! What an excellent way of looking at it...makes it crystal clear for me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 Surely those two lines are the only ones that matter? If you don't move "home" now, it's likely you never will. Once your husband gets another job, he's going to hold on to it as long as possible - maybe till retirement. As you get older, it will become harder and harder to move - pension issues, your daughters may be married to Aussies so you'll be leaving grandchildren behind. Say to yourself - "if I don't make this move now, I'll be spending the rest of my entire life in Australia". How does that feel? If it doesn't upset you, then maybe staying in Oz is the right thing to do. If the thought nearly breaks your heart, then for goodness sake get on that plane! I agree and also think the answer is right there in that word 'home'. I have only been here a few months but am making this my home. England is where I increasingly refer to as where I came from. It is a truism that home is where the heart is so for the OP that seems clear-cut. Whether that also applies to the rest of the family we can only really surmise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 I agree with what Marissa said if the idea of spending the rest of your days here fills you with horror. Go now while you can otherwise life will get in the way and you'll never go. You are saying going home so i think you already have your answer honestly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goingbacksoon Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 What an excellent way of looking at it...makes it crystal clear for me! That was what made it clear to me after 29 years in Australia. I just couldn't see me spending the rest of my life in Australia. Coming back to the UK for holidays made it difficult to settle back to life in Australia, so in 2014 we made a decision to move back to the UK. After a few delays, we moved back to the UK on 1 May and after six months can honestly say we are loving it! So good to be back here with 'old' friends and family. Good luck with your decision :daydreaming: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 It is very hard to separate fear of change from a real desire to stay where you are that you're trying to ignore. It is impossible to know whether things will work out for you in either country so try to quash the 'what if' questions they can't be answered. As others have said focus on how staying in Australia would make you feel. If all else fails toss a coin - heads for stay, tails for go. Are you disappointed with the outcome? Decide to do best of 3? It's a simple but surprisingly accurate way to determine what you really want. The majority of people that return are happier than they were in Australia but just like some people don't settle in Australia, some people do regret moving back. I would suggest a lot of research on the 'assumptions' you are making about England - are the things you hope to gain 'real'? Just like a lot of us that did return moved to Australia with false expectations, it can be true of people moving back too. Personally I think you should go for it given how far progressed you are but if the nagging voices aren't just nerves don't be afraid to reverse your decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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