JockinTas Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 I take it he's no longer there then? Decided against retiring in the Land of Smiles? He was still living there but when in Scotland on holiday 5 years ago he died very suddenly as the result of an aneurysm. His wife returned to Northumberland to live after selling their condo in Thailand and the two children are now at Edinburgh Universtiy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 A bit like me when I was living in the US. I had a good job, made friends, lovely weather but I never felt as if I could live there forever. Mind you, I have never knocked it either. My brother worked in Saudi for 8 years. It couldn't have been easy but he was there to earn good money. I never heard him once saying anything negative about the country. He also lived happily in Thailand for over 20 years and in spite of corruption all over the place he always looked at the positives. I have lived and worked all over as well and think pretty much everywhere hhas some positives. The one exception though was the DRC. Really struggle to find much positive to say. Even the people are nuts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 That happens everywhere Zack but I think you must have bad luck where are living. We did have godawful neighbours at one time in Sydney but they weren't Australian. Like I said, it can happen anywhere not just in Australia. He is unlucky wherever he lives. Funny that, when clearly such a likeable chap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Next time i'm at the Sunny Coast... Oh wait have to keep driving another hour or so to reach Tin Can bay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Well my mother is German and an avid reader of history and politics, my Dad is Anglo-Australian and just about the most intellectual guy I know - University educated at Sydney and a natural intellectual. My stepdad is Scottish, my stepmum Scottish ancestry. Most of my friends growing up in Sydney were born on other continents. My husband is Dutch, just about everyone I know who isn't from another country has been abroad many many times and all have a diverse array of interests from antiques to surfing to yachting to sci-fi to meteorology to football to opera. So who are we talking about here..? I'm sorry but many of the English I met while living there were television watching homebodies, obsessed with celebrity and who had little knowledge of the world beyond Lanzarote or Costa del Sol. On many occasions I was asked why Australians speak English?!! Many of the others I met were stimulating, open-minded and globally aware - who reminded me of all the things that make the British known universally for being innovative and great (if also a little tyrannical and brutish;)) If you delight so much in your own British history well you have to take the good with the bad... What the English fail to see is that the first settlers of Australia were English and therefore as much the ancestors of "British" people in the UK today as they are of their descendant's still in Australia. So if all the qualities of the Australians irk you - maybe there is a historical precedent. This is the land you shunned your most ill-fortuned members to and made them get on with the tribes people already living here.. Which in reality was a failure in foreign policy, but what the British on many occasions use as an excuse to look down their nose upon Australians as an example of how we are racist genocidal barbarians. Well i'm sorry but that whole episode marks yet another dark page in British history. Your culture is not only weaved of inventions, classical (Germanic) music, philosophy and empathy. But also conquest, tyranny and many many mistakes which of course you'd like to forget as we would like to. Who put us here? You did. No history? Well I know where I come from. And I also know what happened over the years to bring me to this place. :notworthy: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Maybe that's the case. I'm just not of the opinion that I am an 'outsider' never felt that way here. I feel like I have as much right to be here as any Australian born person. Steady on now. Your still on probation. At any time us Aussies might call time out. Pull the pin and put you on the next boat heading Stokewards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Well my mother is German and an avid reader of history and politics, my Dad is Anglo-Australian and just about the most intellectual guy I know - University educated at Sydney and a natural intellectual. My stepdad is Scottish, my stepmum Scottish ancestry. Most of my friends growing up in Sydney were born on other continents. My husband is Dutch, just about everyone I know who isn't from another country has been abroad many many times and all have a diverse array of interests from antiques to surfing to yachting to sci-fi to meteorology to football to opera. So who are we talking about here..? I'm sorry but many of the English I met while living there were television watching homebodies, obsessed with celebrity and who had little knowledge of the world beyond Lanzarote or Costa del Sol. On many occasions I was asked why Australians speak English?!! Many of the others I met were stimulating, open-minded and globally aware - who reminded me of all the things that make the British known universally for being innovative and great (if also a little tyrannical and brutish;)) If you delight so much in your own British history well you have to take the good with the bad... What the English fail to see is that the first settlers of Australia were English and therefore as much the ancestors of "British" people in the UK today as they are of their descendant's still in Australia. So if all the qualities of the Australians irk you - maybe there is a historical precedent. This is the land you shunned your most ill-fortuned members to and made them get on with the tribes people already living here.. Which in reality was a failure in foreign policy, but what the British on many occasions use as an excuse to look down their nose upon Australians as an example of how we are racist genocidal barbarians. Well i'm sorry but that whole episode marks yet another dark page in British history. Your culture is not only weaved of inventions, classical (Germanic) music, philosophy and empathy. But also conquest, tyranny and many many mistakes which of course you'd like to forget as we would like to. Who put us here? You did. No history? Well I know where I come from. And I also know what happened over the years to bring me to this place. More than a few of the European migrants that arrived in Australia had a passion for intellectual pursuits. All too many had qualifications not recognised and were forced to work in manual occupations to earn a living. I do believe there is little difference between English and Aussies. Both can be hard to access or easy depending on the situation and perhaps location. Inner city living folk are more likely in probability to engage in political debate, possibly supporting green issues, refugees, and a general quite high tolerance level. I would say similar to London people. Probably the most tolerant city in the world with a definite left wing bias. In the burbs/other parts of the country more parochial issues likely to impact. Families, schools mortgage payments and everyday things. Perhaps not as easy to fit in if don't have kids and follow similar patterns. I don't think migrants fail to see that the first settlers were English. If that is the limit to their Aussie history knowledge. The reason most come is because it being an English speaking country. Surely a connection can be placed with a fact like that? I don't know if many look down their nose at Australians these days. Rather a cliché. But definitely true in the past. I have indeed witnessed it. No I think a number just don't get Aussies. They can't locate the button that clicks. As for racist yes some do find that. Others came to this country in the 60's and 70's to escape the rise of what they called 'coloured' immigration into UK. I'm afraid a number of rather ignorant, racist Brits were admitted during those times, as if not enough local home grown duff jobs weren't plentiful enough. The changing features of Australia over the years has of course driven it further away from its traditional roots. The country is still evolving into something where clarity is scarce. I can fully appreciate people becoming confused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 IMO it's more complicated than the binary fit it or not fit in. There are times I feel like I fit in here as if I've been here all my life. There are other times I feel like I come from a different planet, and TBH the same could probably be said about how I'd feel in Britain. Also I think your mood affects how you relate to people and how people respond to you. If you're happy you tend to feel more like you fit in and the people around you tend to respond more positively towards you. Conversely if you're down or depressed you feel like an outsider, probably come across as such and are treated accordingly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 It's not about having a Burning Desire of being accepted.Personaly I couldn't care less ,with me they get what they see and hear. The Biggest Social Problem In Australia. is Neighbour Disputes. They brag none stop about the Aussie spirit and mateship. They can't get on with each other. When I was working they wantedme to be their union delegate. I refused. They were always dobbing each other in to the boss. Let's be honest this Aussie mateship thing is by and large a myth, Aussies like to believe they are different to other people but they really are no different to anyone else. An Aussie will stab you in the back or rip you off just as anyone else would. The problem is some will be offended by that fact as they don't want to be seen as the same, they want to be special. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 IMO it's more complicated than the binary fit it or not fit in. There are times I feel like I fit in here as if I've been here all my life. There are other times I feel like I come from a different planet, and TBH the same could probably be said about how I'd feel in Britain. Also I think your mood affects how you relate to people and how people respond to you. If you're happy you tend to feel more like you fit in and the people around you tend to respond more positively towards you. Conversely if you're down or depressed you feel like an outsider, probably come across as such and are treated accordingly. The thing is though, if you're depressed your perception of how people are treating you can become skewed, as in everybody has an agenda or out to get you or, even that everybody is having more fun than yourself, when in reality, they are just probably going about their everyday business and aren't really aware of how you are feeling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 IMO it's more complicated than the binary fit it or not fit in. There are times I feel like I fit in here as if I've been here all my life. There are other times I feel like I come from a different planet, and TBH the same could probably be said about how I'd feel in Britain. Also I think your mood affects how you relate to people and how people respond to you. If you're happy you tend to feel more like you fit in and the people around you tend to respond more positively towards you. Conversely if you're down or depressed you feel like an outsider, probably come across as such and are treated accordingly. Interesting points that you and QSS have raised mate. I'm probably happier now in Australia than I ever have been, but it's come about as a result of withdrawing socially or 'not fitting in' with the world around me. Back in the days when I tried (and failed) to engage with Australia I felt like a fraud trying to feign interest in a place that I had no interest in. That led to greater feelings of isolation and alienation. After all, no one likes to feel that they're living a lie. Since giving up on 'fitting in' I've noticed a substantial improvement in my happiness levels. In effect, I'm free to be me again. It's not a way of living which would suit everyone who's living in a place where they don't want to be, but in the absence of being able to return home, it works pretty well for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Interesting points that you and QSS have raised mate. I'm probably happier now in Australia than I ever have been, but it's come about as a result of withdrawing socially or 'not fitting in' with the world around me. Back in the days when I tried (and failed) to engage with Australia I felt like a fraud trying to feign interest in a place that I had no interest in. That led to greater feelings of isolation and alienation. After all, no one likes to feel that they're living a lie. Since giving up on 'fitting in' I've noticed a substantial improvement in my happiness levels. In effect, I'm free to be me again. It's not a way of living which would suit everyone who's living in a place where they don't want to be, but in the absence of being able to return home, it works pretty well for me. When we were living in Brisbane we had some friends move over from the UK, they immediately started the 'well you can't do that in the UK' comments. One night at a BBQ he said you can't do this back in the UK because of the weather, that probably comes as a surprise to all the millions of people who do in fact have BBQ's here. My point is they immediately set about ingratiating themselves with the Aussies and said all the right things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyHeart Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Steady on now. Your still on probation. At any time us Aussies might call time out. Pull the pin and put you on the next boat heading Stokewards. :elvis:I'll claim squatters rights.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 When we were living in Brisbane we had some friends move over from the UK, they immediately started the 'well you can't do that in the UK' comments. One night at a BBQ he said you can't do this back in the UK because of the weather, that probably comes as a surprise to all the millions of people who do in fact have BBQ's here. My point is they immediately set about ingratiating themselves with the Aussies and said all the right things. Yes, I've listened to that sort of thing too. Ridiculous isn't it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyHeart Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 IMO it's more complicated than the binary fit it or not fit in. There are times I feel like I fit in here as if I've been here all my life. There are other times I feel like I come from a different planet, and TBH the same could probably be said about how I'd feel in Britain. Also I think your mood affects how you relate to people and how people respond to you. If you're happy you tend to feel more like you fit in and the people around you tend to respond more positively towards you. Conversely if you're down or depressed you feel like an outsider, probably come across as such and are treated accordingly. Absolutely right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyHeart Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Interesting points that you and QSS have raised mate. I'm probably happier now in Australia than I ever have been, but it's come about as a result of withdrawing socially or 'not fitting in' with the world around me. Back in the days when I tried (and failed) to engage with Australia I felt like a fraud trying to feign interest in a place that I had no interest in. That led to greater feelings of isolation and alienation. After all, no one likes to feel that they're living a lie. Since giving up on 'fitting in' I've noticed a substantial improvement in my happiness levels. In effect, I'm free to be me again. It's not a way of living which would suit everyone who's living in a place where they don't want to be, but in the absence of being able to return home, it works pretty well for me. Maybe that's the key, or half the battle. I can't say I've ever 'tried' to 'fit in' or worried about it either way, I've just got on with life....I haven't got a huge need to 'be part' of anything though or surround myself with 'friends' 24/7 as some do and none of us are into groups or sports. Maybe that helps. If you don't try to integrate with already established groups you can't get the brush off!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolman Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Yes, I've listened to that sort of thing too. Ridiculous isn't it. Yes it is. Of course those who have spent any time in the country knows it is ridiculous. I can fully understand the reasons people do it, to fit in and be seen as quickly as possible as a local. I witnessed it a few times and saw Aussies lapping it all up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyHeart Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 IMO it's more complicated than the binary fit it or not fit in. There are times I feel like I fit in here as if I've been here all my life. There are other times I feel like I come from a different planet, and TBH the same could probably be said about how I'd feel in Britain. Also I think your mood affects how you relate to people and how people respond to you. If you're happy you tend to feel more like you fit in and the people around you tend to respond more positively towards you. Conversely if you're down or depressed you feel like an outsider, probably come across as such and are treated accordingly. I also think you fit in if you want to fit in.....there were times on our last trip back when I felt like I'd never left, especially when catching up with friends and other times when I felt 'different'...like a fish out of water...like I didn't 'fit' there anymore and needed to get 'home' to Perth.....curse of the migrant? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 I also think you fit in if you want to fit in.....there were times on our last trip back when I felt like I'd never left, especially when catching up with friends and other times when I felt 'different'...like a fish out of water...like I didn't 'fit' there anymore and needed to get 'home' to Perth.....curse of the migrant? That's exactly how I feel when I'm in the UK. Always very happy to see family and friends and to appreciate places again but always happy to come back to Australia too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 :elvis:I'll claim squatters rights.... Not sure that will past muster pet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amibovered Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Not sure what trying to fit in would be, I've always just been myself, always supported England against Australia in sport, gently taken the Mick out of Aussies when we win, no one has ever taken offence and accepted it in good spirit, I'm quite sure any of my Australia in-laws and friends would think it odd if I did things any differently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyHeart Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Not sure that will past muster pet. Pet? If I go...I'm taking others with me.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Not sure what trying to fit in would be, I've always just been myself, always supported England against Australia in sport, gently taken the Mick out of Aussies when we win, no one has ever taken offence and accepted it in good spirit, I'm quite sure any of my Australia in-laws and friends would think it odd if I did things any differently. Exactly, it's not a conscious thing. It's more of a perception thing. Of course, there are those try hard types who adopt the rising inflection deliberately and consciously say 'arvo' and 'doco' in a sad attempt to ingratiate themselves with the locals but nobody's fooled. People will either like you for who you are or they won't. More often people like someone who doesn't appear to be 'trying'. In a way we should have been paying attention to all those US sitcoms from the 80's like 'Different Strokes', where the moral at the end was always 'be yourself, don't pretend to be something you're not' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 When we were living in Brisbane we had some friends move over from the UK, they immediately started the 'well you can't do that in the UK' comments. One night at a BBQ he said you can't do this back in the UK because of the weather, that probably comes as a surprise to all the millions of people who do in fact have BBQ's here. My point is they immediately set about ingratiating themselves with the Aussies and said all the right things. I suspect that some also feel it necessary to run down the UK to help explain and justify their move; I have seen this on the forums too from prospective migrants. I am often being asked by the locals here why I left UK to live in Queensland. A major reason is the warmer climate here of course but, for me at least, I see no reason to, or gain in, running down the UK to justify the move. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Pet? If I go...I'm taking others with me.... I think a knock on the door during the early hours, a bag over the head and over before you can say Stoke on Trent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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