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The emotional roller coaster of emigrating - how did you feel?

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So with only 30 days until my husband & I depart the UK a range of emotions are now starting to kick in!

 

In no way do I doubt we're making the right decision, but with leaving parties & goodbyes to people imminently approaching I'm starting to feel quite upset about what is to come!

 

We're currently living back with my parents, which is nice & we've valued all the extra time we've been able to spend with them, but at the same time I think it's going to be harder to leave them & when we have gone the house will no doubt feel very empty & lonely for them!

 

How did everybody else feel & cope in those final weeks??

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Similar!

 

Prepare re yourself as the emotional roller coaster keeps on going when you've moved!


Australia grabs you, and it won't let go!

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Oh god don't say that! I was hoping once we'd arrived & sorted the basics like a place to live & work that the emotional roller coaster would stop?!

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Was too busy the last few weeks to think about it. We also had certainty of two jobs to go to, which de risked the whole thing and so those practical anxieties were removed. We had lived overseas previously though, so I think that made it easier.

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We had a gap year in 2007 in which we spent 9 of those months living & working in Australia so we have no hesitation about the move itself & in all honesty during that year away (we were very early 20's then), there was not 1 day that we missed home except for on Christmas Day! I think maybe it's a bit of guilt I'm feeling as I'm very aware how other people around us are feeling...and I'm absolutely dreading the airport goodbyes :-(

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We are leaving the UK in 10 weeks,my husband, and 2 children 6&4. Heading to Gold Coast. Very mixed emotions, nervous,excited,guilty about leaving family, hoping were doing the right things for the kids. We don't no anyone out there and have no jobs so very anxious. Really hope we're doing the right thing!!

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I can only imagine with kids in tow the emotions are even more intensified! We don't have any children yet, but I can promise you that you are making the right decision! We have no jobs or home yet either, we do however know a fair few people in Sydney where we are starting off which makes things a tad easier but still doesn't hope with the emotional side of things at this end :-(

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We had a gap year in 2007 in which we spent 9 of those months living & working in Australia so we have no hesitation about the move itself & in all honesty during that year away (we were very early 20's then), there was not 1 day that we missed home except for on Christmas Day! I think maybe it's a bit of guilt I'm feeling as I'm very aware how other people around us are feeling...and I'm absolutely dreading the airport goodbyes :-(

 

Airport goodbyes are not a great idea are they? Have you thought about saying good bye in private rather than putting everyone, including yourselves, through that at the airport?

 

 

I can only imagine with kids in tow the emotions are even more intensified! We don't have any children yet, but I can promise you that you are making the right decision! We have no jobs or home yet either, we do however know a fair few people in Sydney where we are starting off which makes things a tad easier but still doesn't hope with the emotional side of things at this end :-(

 

How can you possibly know whether a stranger on the internet is making the right decision! That is the weirdest thing I have read.

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Bungo - we've got friends who have emigrated with children, and we've got friends who emigrated & had children so my opinion is yes, bringing children up in Australia is better than the UK! A bit of moral support every now & again never hurt anyone!

 

As for the airport, my parents & my husbands parents are insisting on taking us despite us suggesting we say our goodbyes at home to avoid the upset!!

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We moved in with my parents for couple of wks before we left too...I never really felt anything but excitement..said quick goodbye at airport drop off point (wasnt paying out airport parking fees!) n that was it...no one's dying..your going on an adventure not to a funeral! But maybe I'm just weird...Once in aus I never missed anyone either just enjoyed different way of living..i look forward to visits though n regularly update UK family but never had an emotional rollercoaster..just a good time. Hated Sydney when we arrived..that's where my job was but soon found another job out of there in nicer part of aus (for us). Good luck. .think you need to be independent person to really make it work n not overly reliant on old friends n family.

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I agree..you can't possibly promise someone they are making the right decision lol made me laugh though ;)

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It's kind of bitter sweet for us as we're super excited & desperate to get back over to Australia but then we feel guilty for being excited when we know certain friends & family members are really upset about us going! It's guilt, sadness, excitement & happiness all rolled into one! Wish I was as strong as you Lorna!

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We are a very outgoing family, have a big circle of friends and always doing something with the kids , I will miss them but looking forward to meeting new people and hoping it's not too long before we start meeting new people. My hubby is a carpenter so hopefully it won't be too long before he gets a job.is it easy to meet new people? Are there any meet ups in Gold Coast areas?

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Maybe I'm strong. .or maybe everyone secretly wanted me gone so i didn't have that guilt lol but I would say I'm selfish n maybe that's why I was ok..you have to be a little selfish to make your life what u want it x

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I'm sure if you've got kids you'll have plenty of opportunities to meet new people! From my experience last time I was in Australia I found the Ozzies to be really friendly & more inclined to chat you than the average Brit would in the UK! The stiff upper lip thing is definitely less apparent over there!

There's probably forums on here about meet ups on the Gold Coast! I know 2 British couples in their mid 40's with children on the Gold Coast who both love it & have made lots of news friends so I'm sure you wouldn't struggle either!

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Yes Lorna that's very true, but then I think everybody is selfish in different ways! My husbands 18 year old brother has took the news of us leaving really badly to the point he's fallen out with us - that's definitely selfish! Making a better life for yourself isn't, but then I guess in some ways it could be deemed that way!

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That's another interesting question actually...did anybody have to deal with any nonsense from jealous/bitter friends & family members, or was everybody fortunate enough to have supportive people around them??

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We're currently living back with my parents, which is nice & we've valued all the extra time we've been able to spend with them, but at the same time I think it's going to be harder to leave them & when we have gone the house will no doubt feel very empty & lonely for them!

 

How did everybody else feel & cope in those final weeks??

 

If I had been so close to my parents/friends that I was distressed at the mere idea of leaving them, I wouldn't have gone through with migrating at all. When I migrated, I was already accustomed to living at the other end of the country from my relatives and childhood friends, so it wasn't such a huge change.


Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband granted UK spouse visa, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

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I think I'm just quite in tune with how they're going to feel when we leave, and for that reason I feel guilty! I wouldn't say I'm distressed at the thought of leaving them or I'd never have applied to emigrate, but sure it's still sad! My parents & grandparents aren't getting any younger!

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I'm sure if you've got kids you'll have plenty of opportunities to meet new people! From my experience last time I was in Australia I found the Ozzies to be really friendly & more inclined to chat you than the average Brit would in the UK! The stiff upper lip thing is definitely less apparent over there!

There's probably forums on here about meet ups on the Gold Coast! I know 2 British couples in their mid 40's with children on the Gold Coast who both love it & have made lots of news friends so I'm sure you wouldn't struggle either!

 

Gosh why don't you stop with the generalisations! We are all different. You can't promise people they won't regret it, you can't assure people they will make friends, you can't assure people they won't struggle. There is no need for you to do that either and it isn't being nice, it is just meaningless as you don't have any way of knowing either way how other people, and strangers to boot, will get on.

 

I was a bit like Lorna. I didn't have an emotional roller coaster before I went, I didn't particularly miss anyone once I was there, not on a day to day basis anyway, although I worried about growing apart from people I didn't want to grow apart from. I think the people that spend then least few weeks in tears or worrying about how they will miss everyone are probably making the wrong decision! Migrants need to be independent.

 

We we only had supportive people around us. Family were sad to see us go, but nobody tried to make us feel guilty about it. They we're excited to see us return this year.

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I think I'd insist of going it alone to the airport myself!Its your choice to go,so surely your choice where you say goodbye?I think if I were to offer any advice,it would be to show compassion towards those you are leaving behind. They are probably a little excited for you,but hurting a lot,which is normal. Jealous and bitter?How do you know this?

Your emotions will be like a yo yo,so be kind to yourselves and those around you,and just accept the emotions.Apart from making obvious plans,stay in the present moment as much as possible because in reality,thats all we ever have!So.....summing up?You feel guilt?Accept you feel guilt,then move on.Feel excited?Feel it an move on.Focus totally on the moment,whatever you're doing,and it will give your mind a rest.


When the power of love overcomes the love of power,the world will know peace ~ Jimi Hendrix

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Jeez Bungo you're pretty negative! These forums are filled with people giving one another advice & moral support... in one sentence you're saying don't do it because how do I know people will makes friends etc & how everyone is different etc...and in the next sentence you're saying people who worry about leaving home & missing people are probably making the wrong decision to emigrate...??? How can you say that?

I can quite imagine you didn't miss anybody, and good on you! I wish my interior was as tough as yours!

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Jacaranda thanks for your kind & encouraging words! Showing compassion towards others is definitely a biggie - especially younger nieces & nephews who don't quite know what to make of it & grandparents who worry they might not still be here on our next visit home...whenever that may be?! It's a tricky old time!

 

In terms of the bitter/jealous aspect, we've had a few nasty comments from relatives on my husbands side who through their own choices haven't made the most of their lives, they think we're selfish for going & manage to make a negative out of every positive - perhaps it's not jealousy? I don't know, but most things point in that direction! They aren't even family members who we're particularly close to so it's definitely not the fact they'll miss us!

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Well still show compassion towards those who may be jealous for whatever reason.Sounds like they're suffering.I think its positive to be excited about your impending move,but not realistic particularly,to expect those not,to share that excitement.I did my move in reverse.From Oz to the UK,and I kept my happiness to myself much of the time.I'm a pretty sensitive soul,and respected the feelings towards those I was leaving behind.Its not an easy time.Just try and can with the flow and it'll hopefully be fine.


When the power of love overcomes the love of power,the world will know peace ~ Jimi Hendrix

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