Biggest Mistake of my Life!

[fifi69]

The irony, you are one of the worst for accepting that anyone might have a view that is different from your own

 

Anybody who has lived in both the UK and Australia can give an honest account.

 

those that reckon to have lived here but don't know their Perth in Scotland, from their Perth in WA tend to be laughed at:laugh:

 

Just like the UK weather..

[Jacaranda]

The UK weather is fine where I am.Last week I spent my 4 days off,on the sunlounge with sunblock on,drink in hand,headphones on!:ssign19:

Also spent this arvo out back doing the same!Mind you I like winter days too,rugged up,going out for a nice walk.

[Quoll]

The UK weather is fine where I am.Last week I spent my 4 days off,on the sunlounge with sunblock on,drink in hand,headphones on!:ssign19:

Also spent this arvo out back doing the same!Mind you I like winter days too,rugged up,going out for a nice walk.

 

Weather is great here too! Just walked 12 miles, brilliant day for walking!

[Marisawright]

Maybe it's time people in Britain updated their impressions of Australia ? Many seem to come here from the UK because they want to believe the grass is greener in Oz. Some years ago, a woman still resident in the UK became close to feral in this forum at the mere suggestion life in Oz wasn't like the movie. She'd never been here and posted all the time with updates re: her family's progress as far as emigrating was concerned - ' only two more months', etc. And despite that she'd never stepped foot in Australia, she laid into anyone who as much as breathed they -- who were in Oz -- weren't as thrilled about the place as they'd expected to be. It was as if she thought that by controlling everyone else's opinion about Oz that she could keep her unrealistic dreams alive. And she had plenty of supporters here, almost as if there existed a gang whose very livelihood depended on being seen to be keeping the Oz myths alive

 

Sure, 50, 60 years ago, Poms made the big, exciting journey to Oz. Many were the talk of the village. Such a long journey - six weeks by ship. All those wonderful fresh foods, tropical fruits, everything so cheap compared with the old UK (which was still living on rations in the early 50s). Once here, they sent happy-snaps back home, showing themselves tanned, sitting on the beach. Of course, now we know a lot of it was sheer bravado. They knew those back home expected such photos and glowing accounts of Australia. Those UK pounds stretched a long way back then. And work was far easier to find then, compared to now. Sit, work and play in the sun long enough and sure, you'll develop a tan. Smiling for the camera takes a few seconds and what else would you do in a photo -- frown? So the myths about Australia grew out of proportion. And to cover the fact many early Poms in Oz had toilets consisting of stinking cans in an outside dunny and had cracked lino on the floors of their unheated weatherboard and fibro homes, those brave little Poms on Oz of decades ago made jokes, cracked hearty, kept a stiff upper lip and pretended they were loving it in Australia

 

The truth was a different story. As Pommy migrants, they copped a lot of stick just for being Pommies, and so did their kids. Work wasn't anywhere near as plentiful as the Aussie government was claiming to potential migrants who attended all those promotional film nights. The houses on offer in Oz were basic, infested with cockroaches, ants, spider and often - snakes. It was a huge country and travel expensive. Migrants had to really put effort into establishing friendships and were not swiftly accepted - and this is borne out not only in migrant tales recounted by Poms but by people from all over the world who'd taken a chance on Australia. Drink was the ice-breaker, the oil, so fine for drinkers and tough for those who expected a bit more from social encounters than Aussie men guzzling grog on one corner and the women in another, forced to chat about home and kids. Thousands of female migrants from the UK lived for years in a state of repressed depression, forcing themselves to be chirpy for the husband and kids. Most Poms in Oz back then for some reason told themselves they'd made their bed and must lie in it for life

 

Things are different now. It's no big deal to move to Oz - just a plane flight. Sure, a lengthy plane flight, but it's just a trip when all's said and done. It's not like Colombus sailing into the unknown, the way it used to be regarded. It's time other myths were put to bed too. Australia hasn't been 'cheap' for a long, long time. The Aussie mateship beliefs belong on tv, in fiction such as Neighbours. After all, do Poms expect to see real-life Donald Ducks or Mickey Mouses and movie stars all over the US? No. They're movies, entertainment. And so are the unrealistic expectations about Australia, although, granted, the Australian government capitalises on desperate Poms in the UK and their wish that Australia be some sort of cheap, tropical fruit and beach-filled Shangri-la

 

There's internet now. Every single aspect of Australia is accessible online, from the prices of houses, travel distances, schools, welfare-provisions, educational standards, the price of eggs and tea-bags, the weather generally and temperatures for every single part of this massive chunk of rock in the south-pacific. Migrating to Australia can no longer be likened to a voyage into the unknown. So why aren't Poms availing themselves of the million pieces of information at their fingertips while they're still right there in the UK?

 

Answer: because in the case of many -- they don't want to ! They don't want to know ! They don't want to face or accept reality !

 

The Big Adventure ! I'd be rich if I had a cent for every time I've read that term in his and similar forums

 

When the more appropriate term should be -- ' Our huge investment in time, money, effort and energy '

 

Poms in the UK need to toss old Uncle Fred's 1950s move to Australia in with all the other non-relevant bits and pieces lying around in the attic. It's 2015 now. Times change. Poms in the UK need to get up to date with Australia. They need to face facts - face the truth

 

There's not all that much difference these days between moving to Australia and moving to a new location in the UK or Europe. And putting all their eggs in one basket and flying to Oz on the seat of their pants is not intelligent, unless all the ground-work has been done first. And groundwork does not ONLY consist of applying to the Oz government and arranging transport for possessions and pets. There's a lot more to it than simply hopping on a plane and telling themselves that when they alight they'll be in paradise and all their troubles left behind them. No. Wherever we go, we take ourselves along with our bits and pieces. We aren't suddenly endowed with desirable personality traits and skills just because we step off a plane in Australia

 

Sure, the Australian government entices migrants. But the Australian pubic is not the Australian government, so Poms shouldn't expect Aussies to welcome even more competition for jobs, housing, road-space, etc., any more than Poms in the UK welcome the endless stream of migrants into the UK. So that's another bit of reality that Poms coming to Oz need to take into account

 

It's a real world and if Australia were even half as 'great' as some would have you believe, there would not -- to begin with -- be so many posts in this and other forums about wanting to, or thinking about, a return to the UK

 

This is the 2015 version of Australia here. Not the 1940s, or 1950s, or 1960s, or 1970s, 80s, 90s, etc. version

 

Things have changed in Australia. It's touted every second week by the mass media as THE most expensive place in the world as far as cost of living, housing, travel, etc, is concerned. That has to be faced, along with the very dismal truth about unemployment in Australia and the poor prospects for kids once they leave school

 

So Poms in the UK need to stop fantasising and start dealing with the truth about Australia. Yes, dreams and fantasies are nice, but Australia isn't going to provide them any more than anywhere else. Of course it rains and gets cold in Australia ! And be realistic, you Poms still in the UK --- you'll need to earn your living in Australia and you will not, most of you, spend endless hours on sunny beaches. You in the UK get the best of Aussie produce and you buy it cheaper than we here in Australia. Aldi is growing like a weed in Oz, just like in the UK. Why do you think that is? Right -- it's because Aldi is cheaper ! Why would Aussies be driving the growth of Aldi? Right again -- because Aussies want and need cheaper food. Why do they need and want cheaper food? Yes, right again -- because Aussies can't afford the more expensive foods. Then take a look at how many Aussies are forced to rent. Why are they forced to rent? Good, you're working it out now -- it's because houses are SO expensive that Aussies cannot afford to buy them. They WANT to own their own homes and something to leave to their children, but they can't AFFORD to buy. And those houses which Aussies CAN afford to buy are nowhere near the chance of employment

 

So there you are. Australia is VERY expensive and beyond the reach of most Aussies -- many of whom have been driven to move overseas in search of a better and more affordable existence

 

And back to where I began -- Poms still in the UK need to update their 'version' of Oz. They need to face the facts and reality. Hopping on a plane to Oz is not a magic carpet ride, nor is it the much touted 'Big Adventure'. It's costly. Once they move it may prove irreversible due to finances and other factors. So stop dreaming, you Poms in the UK. Australia is basically an isolated version of the UK. It costs a lot to get into Australia and a hell of a lot more to get out again, as many have learned to their pain

 

Well said, well said, well said! You've expressed my views exactly.

[Johndoe]

The irony, you are one of the worst for accepting that anyone might have a view that is different from your own

 

Links please

[Perthbum]

Anybody who has lived in both the UK and Australia can give an honest account.

 

those that reckon to have lived here but don't know their Perth in Scotland, from their Perth in WA tend to be laughed at:laugh:

 

Just like the UK weather..

Dont forget to slip slop on that slap head mate...:wink:

[Perthbum]

Weather is great here too! Just walked 12 miles, brilliant day for walking!

Been very mild to hot weather for the last couple of years with well below average rainfall...climate change is to blame, although we might like it other parts of the world are suffering which aint good.

[kiwiathome]

So can we ask beachbum? Did you push to come here to follow the "Ausi dream" which would of involved tons of research, careful planning, logic mind and high expectations? or did you come because simply you married an Australian who by all right should have the chance to experience his country with you, and a chance to live in his own country. You came with a positive attitude and came to support your hubby and try something new. So well done! Your emotions are completely normal, it is a huge change. But as I said earlier, if you can't think straight, any decision you make and actions you take now, you may regret later. So get some peace in your head, get up each day, hug your hubby, care for your dog and wait it out for a bit.

 

I got married in my twenties and hubby took off to UK for his career. Our honeymoon on hold (which funny enough I still have not had! cheers mate!) and I followed him out six weeks later. I hated it! I was so homesick! felt trapped every day and so lonely! But within 6 months it had all turned around and I loved it! Did not want to move from UK when the time came!

 

So, wait a little bit. When you are ready, discuss options with your hubby. But if you are only leasing your house in Blue Mountains, why can't you break the lease and move to a different area you have chosen?? might help a lot. Cheers.

[paulrickett]

You only live once, come back to Blighty and don't live your life being sad, its not worth it....

[kiwiathome]

Hi beachbum, just wondering how you are going now a little time has passed? Are you feeling any better or has anything changed in your situation? All the best, have a lovely day.:wubclub:

[Chris N Lora]

Oh dear...something tells me you won't be happy in London either...

 

I am from London, maybe that is why I believe Sydney is not as good as it would be for others.

[Marisawright]

I am from London, maybe that is why I believe Sydney is not as good as it would be for others.

 

I think that's a fair comment. We're in the UK now (my oh is Aussie, and I spent 30 years there). The Sydney lifestyle suited us and we are struggling to find anywhere in the UK that can match it - EXCEPT London. London offers a lot of the good aspects of Sydney life PLUS lots more. Sure it is crowded and horrendously expensive but if we could afford it, we'd be happy to settle there. Unfortunately we can't!

[shaunfreo]

Your not Ill , you made a mistake , it's how you put it right , don't get sucked into the ghastly Australian health care system which only wants to take your money speak to your husband , tell him you want to do , a counsellor may be able to help but if you know what you want save yourself the time and money

hope it works out

good luck

[Marisawright]

Your not Ill , you made a mistake , it's how you put it right , don't get sucked into the ghastly Australian health care system which only wants to take your money speak to your husband , tell him you want to do , a counsellor may be able to help but if you know what you want save yourself the time and money

 

 

The OP posted months ago so let's hope she's on the way to resolving her problems now. However I don't agree with you about counsellors being a waste of money.

 

The big issue for the OP is that she's got no friends in Australia. When women have trouble in their personal lives, the first thing they do is sit down and talk it over with their best friend. The OP can't do that, so she needs a substitute. Forums like this can play a part,but there's nothing quite like talking face to face with another person.

 

I had never seen a counsellor until I was made to go by my employer, after one of my staff died suddenly at work (we were all sent for counselling). I didn't think I needed it and was surprised when I ended up bawling my eyes out about something totally unrelated. I was also in a situation where I had no close friends around, and I didn't realise how much I'd been bottling things up rather than upset my oh.

[Chortlepuss]

The OP posted months ago so let's hope she's on the way to resolving her problems now. However I don't agree with you about counsellors being a waste of money.

 

The big issue for the OP is that she's got no friends in Australia. When women have trouble in their personal lives, the first thing they do is sit down and talk it over with their best friend. The OP can't do that, so she needs a substitute. Forums like this can play a part,but there's nothing quite like talking face to face with another person.

 

I had never seen a counsellor until I was made to go by my employer, after one of my staff died suddenly at work (we were all sent for counselling). I didn't think I needed it and was surprised when I ended up bawling my eyes out about something totally unrelated. I was also in a situation where I had no close friends around, and I didn't realise how much I'd been bottling things up rather than upset my oh.

 

I have learned a huge lesson in Australia - never to take close friends for granted! Support of friends, family, community is probably the greatest aspect of the UK that I miss and one that is almost impossible to predict that you will miss when you emigrate to Australia. Whilst hubby and I are pretty independent types, the knowledge that when the chips are down we have no-one to turn to is pretty confronting, even after nearly a decade here. Through great times and bad times, close friends and family provide strength and support and give you confidence and resilience. I feel incredibly vulnerable here, knowing that if anything bad were to happen, there is no safety net of supportive like minded folk. Having said that, Ozzies are great at showing practical support - as witnessed in floods etc.... But there is pressure in Australia to appear constantly cheerful even in the face of disaster - and we have to understand that actually it's OK and quite normal and healthy to feel sad about things from time to time.

[flag of convenience]

I think that's a fair comment. We're in the UK now (my oh is Aussie, and I spent 30 years there). The Sydney lifestyle suited us and we are struggling to find anywhere in the UK that can match it - EXCEPT London. London offers a lot of the good aspects of Sydney life PLUS lots more. Sure it is crowded and horrendously expensive but if we could afford it, we'd be happy to settle there. Unfortunately we can't!

 

There was a time though, when London while never cheap was affordable for those of us on average incomes. Those days have long passed. At least for living in the First Zone and very likely the second, unless prepared to skimp it while still paying a high price.

 

I have discussed with others and look at alternatives but could never come to a conclusion or finding of anywhere remotely appropriate as a substitute. Brighton was the closest which almost went for.

 

The desirability of living elsewhere in England, although many attractive spots( as there are many horrid places) is far less apparent than any other country that I have lived in. Not sure exactly why that is.

 

Saying that I missed various aspects of living in one of the worlds greatest cities with an intensity during first decade in Australia. Returning and witnessing the changes helped to rectify a definite London bias that existed until that time.

[b123]

You say finances are tight, but could you afford to got for a drive up the coast for a couple of days and see if areas like Port Macquarie may suit you better than the Blue Mountains. There are many nice places in Aus you just need to see what suits you best and could be a better option than going back to the UK if your partner does not want to return to the UK.

 

Yep it is tricky one,, we did Adelaide 2010 to 2012, and REgret bitterly coming back to UK. I would dearly luv to return to Oz. Other half not so keen. I enjoyed the weather.. Although I did find it too hot and too predictable. tbh sometimes but made some lovely pals. I found it soo pricey,,, But I seriously cant hack the UK weather:( find people reserved n up tight, and just shouldn't have done it.. I did feel Homesick n me n other half had opposite opinions on stuff. Family think we should have stayed too I think:(!! that really gets me,, cos they know family moved to N Z and "doing well"?!! XXAnyway, I think counselling is brill option,, XX gd luck with decision, its mega tough,

[Jaynemw]

Hi Beachbum,

 

Im not an expert but I have been feeling the same but I'm the opposite to you. Moved from Brisbane to uk , about 8 months ago and I have struggled for the last 6 months,, only just started talking to mypartner now about returning home ( as I felt guilty and I didn't want to burden him with my depression )Homesickness takes over you and all I think about 24 hours a day is being somewhere else. Talking to people does help, you don't need a pychiatrist, everyone tells me to give it more to and as we can't afford to go back anyway , we have decided to give it another 6 months then return to Oz in July.

Since knowing that I can leave in 6 months I feel a lot better, feel like there is a light at the end of tunnel. Your not going crazy and homesickness is not something you plan for or want to bear but it's kind of like losing your identity and being set adrift , hope that makes sense. I cry all the time and I'm 5 months pregnant, and the thoughts of having my baby in another country without my family/friends plays on my kind all the time but I'm happier knowing that I have given it more time and if I still do like it in 6 months I can go home . Hope that helps big hugs xxx

[Banana707]

Hi

it is a tricky situation and one that may never really go away. I moved to Brisbane 7 1/2 years and whilst I always missed my family and friends the homesickness really only set in a couple of years ago and this is the first year I have really wanted to move home. Crying all the time and feel hopeless as my fiancé wants to stay and won't consider England. He is English but loves it here and does not feel the need to ever go back even to visit.

Trying to make a go of things so been to the doctors and have a session with a psychologist on Thursday so hoping that will help.

i hope things get better for you and please take coming in knowing others feel the same

[AdrianPom]

Great Post. When I get the time I will try to compliment yours with my experiences. In a nutshell, I would say the more you already have in the UK, the less you are likely to benefit by moving to Oz. As you touched upon, Aussies take no notice of anyones qualifications other than their own. Even if you have a skilled migration visa, they almost treat it with contempt in the workplace. One fiasco example is electricians. I have never experienced so many major electrical failures anywhere as I have in Oz. Every single house I have ever lived in has had a local power cut, AND shorts, AND mystery failures..even the new houses, probably more in one year than in 40 years in the UK, yet they wont accept UK qualifications, because they dont meet Australian standards. Sighhhhh! Now I have found this site I need to gather my thoughts and get them down on paper. I hate to admit it, but I think my decision to try Australia was the biggest and most costly mistake of my life. In fact I reckon apart from my house, it is the most expensive decision of my life. It is backward, and the reason is because they will not accept ideas from outside. Another example is the soon to close car industry. Import taxes almost doubled import prices which came from half way round the world, but the Aussies still could not compete. Sighhhhhhhhhhhh.

[starlight7]

In many ways Australia is still a very 'young' country. My Brother in law was totally horrified by all the overhead wires draped everywhere ( he was a city engineer in the UK for many years) - he thought it was really primitive, especially given that we have so many fires. Many country towns still don't have mains sewage or even water supplies and they still use tanks.

[Johnny]

One fiasco example is electricians. I have never experienced so many major electrical failures anywhere as I have in Oz. Every single house I have ever lived in has had a local power cut, AND shorts, AND mystery failures..even the new houses, probably more in one year than in 40 years in the UK, yet they wont accept UK qualifications, because they dont meet Australian standards.

 

I hate to admit it, but I think my decision to try Australia was the biggest and most costly mistake of my life. In fact I reckon apart from my house, it is the most expensive decision of my life. It is backward, and the reason is because they will not accept ideas from outside.

 

My mate was an electrician too in Oz and they would not accept his tickets, he had to go through college again to learn how to be an electrician of a lower standard to get his licence.

 

I remember my own observations in my house and others I visited - 220v socket outlets sitting above wash hand basins, circuit breakers OUTSIDE the house in a box with no IP rating, only 3 or 4 MCB/circuits for the whole house , no RCD's or RCBO's to be seen anywhere, and of course the plugs are unfused and due to the lack of sockets in most homes people plug in lots of multi-way extension cables and load up the power circuits to the point the breakers keeps tripping....

 

No matter how much anyone tries to defend the place, it has a long way to go to catch up with UK standards.

 

It has a long way to go to catch up with the UK in general come to think of it.

[lesleybruck]

We are exactly the same my hubbys electrician been trying for three years to get licence, hubby so frustrated and totally correct do not want english electricians even the lecturer told hubby that. So after 3 yrs we are moving back to uk because can no longer afford to live here. Lost every penny trying to make it work. Miss family so much and like original poster i can not live with myself if parents passed away and i wasnt around. The way ive seen it lately is my parents gave me 43 yrs of their life its only right i give them the care they need now for the rest of their lives how ever long that might be. Leaving uk was tough an we though like everyone it would be the great. We do love it here but so expensive, cannot afford to even put food on table at moment for the kids and didnt come to oz for that, wanted a comfortable life not the dream just a good life. But not being able to swap qualifications over and when finally does can still not be able to do what could in uk and needs to do many more courses all costing more and more money its crazy, hubby gets so frustrated with the quality of work here cannot believe its allowed.

[Ferrets]

My mate was an electrician too in Oz and they would not accept his tickets, he had to go through college again to learn how to be an electrician of a lower standard to get his licence.

 

I remember my own observations in my house and others I visited - 220v socket outlets sitting above wash hand basins, circuit breakers OUTSIDE the house in a box with no IP rating, only 3 or 4 MCB/circuits for the whole house , no RCD's or RCBO's to be seen anywhere, and of course the plugs are unfused and due to the lack of sockets in most homes people plug in lots of multi-way extension cables and load up the power circuits to the point the breakers keeps tripping....

 

No matter how much anyone tries to defend the place, it has a long way to go to catch up with UK standards.

 

It has a long way to go to catch up with the UK in general come to think of it.

 

As we gear up for our move I have been pondering (pomdering - can I trademark that?) the challenges that we will face, which includes taking the view of this side of the forum which is an important part of our research.

 

When I say to people that we are moving they say "it's a better way of life and great for the kids". I actually disagree, and think that it is a different way of life, albeit one that will fit with our family at this point in time. This does include some elements as that may be behind what might be expected in the UK, but for each negative we also see a positive.

 

I think where people come unstuck is that there is a perception (rightly or wrongly) that Australia provides a solution and/or opportunity that isn't really there if that makes sense? For us it does, but that doesn't mean it does automatically for everyone.

 

(caveated that I may be back here in 5 years time with a different view :wink:)

Edited May 17, 2016 by Ferrets
Too many word repetitions

[starlight7]

I guess also, even though there are negatives, overall there are a helluva lot of positives too. The very primitiveness has a great charm because there are still a lot of unspoilt and stunningly beautiful areas where you will never meet a soul- an attribute which is quite scarce in 'developed' countries like the UK. For me, that is very important- it is very easy to escape to these areas to recharge the batteries so to speak.