Going back after only 8 weeks!!

[Guest Kate Edwards]

How long have you been here? My hubby been here 5 months me and my two young boys 8 weeks. I feel really really bad some days but we have all been quite strict in the fact that we need to give it 12-18 months before we do anything! We have bought a house straight away to try make us feel more settled and less likey to up and leave than if we rented!!!! Have just read your original post and I do agree with what you say about how much we take for granted in the UK no dr charges etc but we pay for it indirectly with NI contributions - There is nothing worse than when you feel like you are now - I did last week and went out with a aussie mum from school and had a great night out - it really lifted my spirits and made me think- actually this is going to be all right - in time...... can you get out for a night out with some girls? hard with kids i know and no money but do you the world of good. You need to try be a bit more positive or your un happiness and home sickness is just going to get worse and worse! Chin up K x

[Guest Kate Edwards]

I agree what you say about when they want to go thats it but I do think you may be a bit deluded if you think the UK is not a dismal place to be right now! Dont get me wrong I miss being around friends and family as much as the next person - but i do not miss the greyness the cold, the damp, the crap food the government allow to be sold at supermarkets, the constant news of some other major major company axing jobs or going bust, people loosing their houses, the sadness of people in a position they would never have thought they would be in, no house, no income, no pension, being taxed to hell for worjking hard all my life and polish / eastern european galore coming in having kids and living off benefit ( I have a very very good polish friend who works bloody hard so no anti polish remarks please!)............ do I need to go on?! Now in my eyes that is dismal - I appreciate some people disagree. While I am on a role - I have MS and I have never felt as well as I have since I have been in Australia, my consultant in the UK encouraged me to come here for the healthier life style, food, climate etc So for me it's got to be worth it!

[Guest Mark and Sharon]

I am willing to try anything to get work and hope everyday that i`ll go somewhere and ask `have you any vacancies`and the answer come back` yes `instead of the usual `no it`s very quiet at the moment`.Having never been out of work in my life i think it`s the rejection and the feeling of worthless that is so hard to cope with and that coupled with missing friend`s is really hurting me.

[THORPES]

Perth Princess - have you thought about trying anopther area in Aus rather than heading back to very very dismal UK?:rolleyes: Before we arrived in Jan this year I heard that Perth was over sacturated with people , no jobs for them all or school places etc seems it may be true! My hubby travels 1-2 hrs into work each way but we have got a house where we wanted and we just had to compromise on something - and the travelling for the work was it! Chin up - old Blighty will probably be alot more dreary then you think you are now!! K x

 

Not everyone thinks the uk is dismal.

To be fair, i thought that before I went to Australia. We only stayed a month in Australia and it was not becuase I was homesick or missed Tesco's. It was because we felt (and( only our opinion) that Australia didnt offer a better quality of life for us. We found the food, clothing, furniture and cars very expensive and wages which wouldnt support us in the basics.

We didnt like that by 7pm everything was closed and the place was like a ghost town.

We just thought Australia was a little dull.

 

We have been back home 2 weeks now and we so appreciate how great the uk is. Ok there is still doom & gloom on news (but there is in australia). There is still crime (but there is in Australia)

Its great to get wrapped up and go walking up on the hills, we have great scenery and great places to visit (so does australia)

IMO, I would say if you are not happy somewhere, why stay longer? I could of stayed in australia longer, but I knew i wouldnt spend the rest of my life there.

I have spoken to people who have been there years and they say they like it but wish they could go home. But they cant leave because kids have settled, they have businesses, houses etc...

If you dont like it, dont suffer, do whats in your heart.

 

I had had a great holiday, it cost us a fortune, but it was money well spent for us to realise how lucky we really are.

 

Jill

xxx

[Guest TheArmChairDetective]

Perth Princess - have you thought about trying anopther area in Aus rather than heading back to very very dismal UK?:rolleyes:

 

Your right Kate, it IS dismal in the UK and anyone considering a return has to ask themselves the same questions that they asked to migrate in the first place.

[Guest dazla]

I agree what you say about when they want to go thats it but I do think you may be a bit deluded if you think the UK is not a dismal place to be right now! Dont get me wrong I miss being around friends and family as much as the next person - but i do not miss the greyness the cold, the damp, the crap food the government allow to be sold at supermarkets, the constant news of some other major major company axing jobs or going bust, people loosing their houses, the sadness of people in a position they would never have thought they would be in, no house, no income, no pension, being taxed to hell for worjking hard all my life and polish / eastern european galore coming in having kids and living off benefit ( I have a very very good polish friend who works bloody hard so no anti polish remarks please!)............ "

 

No offence but I think you may be a bit deluded if you think that the problems you currently attribute to the UK are not happening in OZ

 

Daz:wideeyed:

[markntracey]

Not everyone thinks the uk is dismal.

To be fair, i thought that before I went to Australia. We only stayed a month in Australia and it was not becuase I was homesick or missed Tesco's. It was because we felt (and( only our opinion) that Australia didnt offer a better quality of life for us. We found the food, clothing, furniture and cars very expensive and wages which wouldnt support us in the basics.

We didnt like that by 7pm everything was closed and the place was like a ghost town.

We just thought Australia was a little dull.

 

We have been back home 2 weeks now and we so appreciate how great the uk is. Ok there is still doom & gloom on news (but there is in australia). There is still crime (but there is in Australia)

Its great to get wrapped up and go walking up on the hills, we have great scenery and great places to visit (so does australia)

IMO, I would say if you are not happy somewhere, why stay longer? I could of stayed in australia longer, but I knew i wouldnt spend the rest of my life there.

I have spoken to people who have been there years and they say they like it but wish they could go home. But they cant leave because kids have settled, they have businesses, houses etc...

If you dont like it, dont suffer, do whats in your heart.

 

I had had a great holiday, it cost us a fortune, but it was money well spent for us to realise how lucky we really are.

 

Jill

xxx

I started reading this post because i couldn't beleive someone would go home after just 8 weeks when it takes so long to get the Visa and now i see you only stayed 4. Can you really decide in such a short space of time that you don't want to live there. Have you thought about trying a different state maybe. Most people would holiday for longer than this. I'm not judging you as for all i know i might panic when i get there and do the same i'm just curious.

Best of luck and at least you have the visa now if you ever decide to try it again

Tracey:wubclub:

[Burnett]

I started reading this post because i couldn't beleive someone would go home after just 8 weeks when it takes so long to get the Visa and now i see you only stayed 4. Can you really decide in such a short space of time that you don't want to live there. Have you thought about trying a different state maybe. Most people would holiday for longer than this. I'm not judging you as for all i know i might panic when i get there and do the same i'm just curious.

Best of luck and at least you have the visa now if you ever decide to try it again

Tracey:wubclub:

 

 

 

Hi MarknTracey

 

Up late and browsing the forum, so am responding to your post, but not in the personal sense .. just generally.

 

There are loads of Poms now in Oz who'll tell you something a bit odd if they're in the mood, and that's their first impression of Oz. They were excited to be sighting Oz at last, after all the waiting and applications, etc. etc. Yet when they actually had their first sight of the Oz coastline from the window of the plane (or in the case of older people, from the deck of the ship) ... they found themselves crying. They didn't know why. It's the last thing they expected to do.

 

It wasn't homesicknesses or release from all the pent-up emotions, according to them. Instead it was something about Oz. They found themselves suddenly and unexpectedly depressed to the bottom of their souls. I know. It sounds very weird.

 

They say they brushed it aside and attributed it to all sorts of things (such as 'pent-up emotions' and 'sudden homesickness for all they'd left behind', etc.) They grabbed their new life in both hands and worked like mad to make it work, they say. But the underlying depression remained. So they worked harder, played harder, to make it go away. We've all met Poms like that: they have a smile stuck on their face and they find the positives about Oz and keep on finding them. On the outside, a lot of them are very convincing and often convince themselves. But often, when their guard is down, they shock the daylights out of you by admitting they'd love to return to UK. And although they might not criticise one aspect of their life in Oz, a lot will say they just haven't felt right since they arrived.

 

Australia is different in many ways: the light, for example. There's sunshine galore in Oz, but it's not the same as the much softer UK sunshine. Then there's the 'feeling' of Oz, which is not to be underestimated in importance. Every place has its own 'feel'. Sometimes you're in tune with that feeling, and sometimes not.

 

Basically, it's the same as a new relationship. Some people can go from one relationship to another with hardly a bump. Others just don't feel right about a new person in their life, even though that new person may be fantastic and have all the 'right' qualities. They don't 'feel right' with the new person's laugh or body chemistry or friends or whatever. No fault of the new person, of course.

 

It's the same with Oz. It's not for everyone. And some sense right away that it's not for them. They may not like the 'feel', or the intensity of the glare, or the brooding sense of isolation that's just under the surface (because it is isolated). Others do like Oz, feel instantly at home and can't understand why everyone doesn't feel that way.

 

Have you ever walked into a place, or even a town or village, and given a little shudder and thought to yourself, ' Ooo, I don't like the feel of this place ' ? Yet in the same way, there are some houses or towns where you instantly feel 'at home', regardless of the size, wealth or natural beauty (or lack of ).

 

Some people 'work on' getting to like Oz, in the way you might break-in a new pair of shoes. Others don't have to work at it and just love it from the start. And others are very instinctual and know themselves better than to try to persuade or force themselves into adapting to a place that instantly 'felt wrong' to them.

 

In a way it's a lot like moving to a new house. Sometimes, even though the new house has more rooms, is in a better location, has all the mod-cons and is the envy of all your friends -- you just never feel 'right' or 'at home' there. Other houses may be smaller, in poor repair, may leak and have mould and be in an average location --- yet you just 'feel right' there and continue to miss it years and years after you've left.

 

It all comes down to being true to yourself and going with your instincts. For some, this is more important than any other consideration. They know that to function as the person they most enjoy being, they must 'feel right' about where they are.

 

Yet others can feel 'at home' wherever they go. And then there are others who place top priority on more practical considerations and are prepared to sacrifice some things in favour of benefits they consider to be more important to their family, or whatever.

 

But when it's all boiled down, the 'feel' of Oz does come into it, in the same way as the 'feel' of a pair of shoes, or 'feel' of a workplace or town, etc. And until you've been and actually sensed the 'feel' of Oz, you have no way of knowing how it will effect you.

 

Hopefully, you and yours will like the 'feel' of Oz and will be happy here :-)

 

I also respect those who refuse to compromise and know from the start that it just doesn't feel right for them and so follow their instincts and go where they do feel 'at home'.

 

It's purely an individual thing. A move to Oz is not a 'one size fits all' situation .. never has been, never will.

[markntracey]

Thanks Burnett for being so open and in depth about your feelings. It's my husbnand that has always wanted to go and i know i am trying to block out a lot of emotions about the move althoughi have grown excited about it all i'm not sure how i will react. My aunt went to Canada and she said she new as the plane landed she wouldn't like it which i never really understood but after reading yur post i can see how this could happen. I have said i will try and stay for at least 2 years even if i don't like it if nothing else but to get citizenship so the kids can return one day if they want but we'll have to wait and see. Like you say no one truly knows how they will feel until they've done it. Best of luck

Tracey

[THORPES]

Thanks Burnett, what a great post.

Jill

xxx

[Guest earlswood]

Your right Kate, it IS dismal in the UK and anyone considering a return has to ask themselves the same questions that they asked to migrate in the first place.

For some it might be but for others it is excellent......For some it is dismal in Australia but for others it is excellent.

You really are getting quite predicatable with your constant knocking of the UK, as the Aussies say...if you dont like it .

[Guest earlswood]

Not everyone thinks the uk is dismal.

To be fair, i thought that before I went to Australia. We only stayed a month in Australia and it was not becuase I was homesick or missed Tesco's. It was because we felt (and( only our opinion) that Australia didnt offer a better quality of life for us. We found the food, clothing, furniture and cars very expensive and wages which wouldnt support us in the basics.

We didnt like that by 7pm everything was closed and the place was like a ghost town.

We just thought Australia was a little dull.

 

We have been back home 2 weeks now and we so appreciate how great the uk is. Ok there is still doom & gloom on news (but there is in australia). There is still crime (but there is in Australia)

Its great to get wrapped up and go walking up on the hills, we have great scenery and great places to visit (so does australia)

IMO, I would say if you are not happy somewhere, why stay longer? I could of stayed in australia longer, but I knew i wouldnt spend the rest of my life there.

I have spoken to people who have been there years and they say they like it but wish they could go home. But they cant leave because kids have settled, they have businesses, houses etc...

If you dont like it, dont suffer, do whats in your heart.

 

I had had a great holiday, it cost us a fortune, but it was money well spent for us to realise how lucky we really are.

 

Jill

xxx

Great fair post, and exactly as I see it.

[Quoll]

Thanks Burnett for being so open and in depth about your feelings. It's my husbnand that has always wanted to go and i know i am trying to block out a lot of emotions about the move althoughi have grown excited about it all i'm not sure how i will react. My aunt went to Canada and she said she new as the plane landed she wouldn't like it which i never really understood but after reading yur post i can see how this could happen. I have said i will try and stay for at least 2 years even if i don't like it if nothing else but to get citizenship so the kids can return one day if they want but we'll have to wait and see. Like you say no one truly knows how they will feel until they've done it. Best of luck

Tracey

 

Unfortunately it is 4 years now for citizenship and that can be a long time if you dont "belong". Take it as an adventure and dont let yourself get beyond the point of no return without seriously thinking about your future and where you want to grow old and you should be fine.

 

Excellent post Burnett, you are quite right, it does "feel" different. For me the country has the brashness of an adolescent along with the harshness of the light. Even as I write the birds are being loud and screechy which sort of epitomises it for me (nothing like being woken up at 6 by a thousand cockatoos - shame that cockatooicide is illegal in this country!). I so agree with the harshness of the light - whilst most Poms would kill for a bit of sunshine, if you have that unrelenting bright sunshine day after day, week after week as we do here in Canberra with never a drop of rain on the horizon then it becomes as unbearable as a grizzly grey day of a UK winter. Daft or what?!

[Guest TheArmChairDetective]

For some it might be but for others it is excellent......For some it is dismal in Australia but for others it is excellent.

You really are getting quite predicatable with your constant knocking of the UK, as the Aussies say...if you dont like it .

 

Not as predictable as your knocking anything Aussie under the pretext of "Helping others".

I have lived in other countries for longer than a holiday, you should try it sometime.

[Guest earlswood]

Not as predictable as your knocking anything Aussie under the pretext of "Helping others".

I have lived in other countries for longer than a holiday, you should try it sometime.

You have never ever said anything good about the UK all the time you have been on here, you just whinge about everything in the UK..., If you look through some of my posts I have said what is good about australia and what I liked, just a couple of days ago I was going on about how nice Bunbury was..pot, kettle, black comes to mind.

[Guest TheArmChairDetective]

You have never ever said anything good about the UK all the time you have been on here, you just whinge about everything in the UK...,

 

 

Hmm, might that be a clue then?

[Guest earlswood]

Hmm, might that be a clue then?

 

That you are a whinger...yes it might just do.

[Guest Kate Edwards]

Ditto from me Burnett. Hope this slightly off track chat has helped Mark and Sharon , try not to be too down.

K xx

[Guest TheArmChairDetective]

That you are a whinger...yes it might just do.

 

You really should read your own posts madam

X

[Guest treesea]

I wouldn't underestimate how isolated Australia is. When we came back to the UK, we always thought that if it really was as dismal and dreary as most people in Australia were telling us at the time, we could either go back to Australia or, for less than a couple of thousand quid, we could up sticks again and move to any number of European countries. Whereas when you move to Australia, for a start the dollar isn't worth that much if you decide to move on, and it costs as much to leave as to get there.

 

If you are in a city that feels wrong for you, I would suggest trying another part of Australia first. For all the years we lived in Melbourne, I preferred the time we spent in Sydney. Yes, it was tougher to survive, the weather and housing weren't as good (cramped housing and the storms were scarier), but the feel of the place was so alive and compelling compared to Melbourne, which was more like a big provincial town.

[Guest Arg]

My reason is very high unemployment rate - it is a bull **** that Oz has 5% of unemployment rate. In the UK in my field we used to get few application for one job offer, in Oz the same it is 20-30. I struggle now. Red tape is a nightmare, my overseas qualifications are not recognised by employers, I must have australian qualifications, and even holding all australian papers I am not sure to get a job. It is ridiculous.

Poor customer service, very high cost of living, brainwashing "Oz is the best", red tape - I can't stand it all, and next year I leave Oz.

[Guest chellynel]

My reason is very high unemployment rate - it is a bull **** that Oz has 5% of unemployment rate. In the UK in my field we used to get few application for one job offer, in Oz the same it is 20-30. I struggle now. Red tape is a nightmare, my overseas qualifications are not recognised by employers, I must have australian qualifications, and even holding all australian papers I am not sure to get a job. It is ridiculous.

Poor customer service, very high cost of living, brainwashing "Oz is the best", red tape - I can't stand it all, and next year I leave Oz.

 

***************

 

Life is what you make it ! :arghh:nobody forced you to come here ..you were lucky enough to get the visa ! there are a million others in the queue behind you looking for a better life ! So if you can only focus on the negatives then perhaps you shouldn't be here ! It's not easy moving countries and if you think it is then you should think again....

 

& oh yes ...there is a global recession (if you hadn't heard !) so you might not get a job in the UK either at the moment ! Australia is the lucky country but we are not immune from recession when it's global !

 

You can whinge OR you can just get on with it like everyone else ! We have moved from the UK and it's harder financially here for us for sure ....(for now) ..but I know where I would rather be living during a recession ! The beach is FREE !

 

Sorry ...but I am in a bad mood today ! not much sleep with my little man last night !

 

It's TOUGH all round ! Australia is no different to any other country ! I agree we are very "american" with our rules /regulations etc....but they are there for a reason most of the time ! and Australians try to protect Australian business when possible ! thats why we might do better than US/UK during this recession !

[Kazzarazza]

My reason is very high unemployment rate - it is a bull **** that Oz has 5% of unemployment rate. In the UK in my field we used to get few application for one job offer, in Oz the same it is 20-30. I struggle now. Red tape is a nightmare, my overseas qualifications are not recognised by employers, I must have australian qualifications, and even holding all australian papers I am not sure to get a job. It is ridiculous.

Poor customer service, very high cost of living, brainwashing "Oz is the best", red tape - I can't stand it all, and next year I leave Oz.

 

Hope you find what you think you are looking for when you get back because you didn't choose the best post on which to have your little rant. The original poster Bolton to Brisbane started this last April, and yes, they went home to Bolton but, would you believe they are already back in Oz (Melbourne, I think this time). Things were not as they remembered back home, and maybe you will find what you are looking for in another part of Australia before making another life changing decision - it's a big country.

[tights]

I have read this thread from start to finish and I am so happy to see that the original posters have gone back. I was dreading getting to the end and not knowing what they had decided. Hope they are happy in Melbourne.

We are hoping to be in Brisbane sometime in May. This has been a really intersting thread to read and some of the post have been so honest and open. I personally have found it really useful reading about everyone's experiences whether they be positive or negative.

The last few daysI have been feeling really sorry for myself, getting fed up living out of boxes in my parents and having a general feeling of being in limbo. I actually said to my husband that I just wanted to go home (to the house we have sold) and start getting back on with our lives again. He is worried that I am having second thoughts about going. I am not, just want to start getting on with our lives.

I am so excited about the adventure we are about to go on and would rather regret what I have done that what I haven't. If it all works out - sound (yep I am a scouser), if it doesn't - it's not the end of the world!