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Missus B

12 months back in the UK and here's what I've been up to!

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I haven't logged on here for quite some time as I felt my Aussie life was behind me and I didn't want any reminders....

 

The last time I was on here, my head was all over the place. My ex was tugging at my heart strings and I felt I wanted to move back to the UK and give it another shot with him. I wanted my cats back. I had great ideas about seeing my family more and doing lots of amazing things with my friends that I had missed so much. I even missed my old job! I romanticized about travelling all over Europe and having a proper Christmas again. I wanted to explore the Northumberland Countryside more than I had in the past and all was going to be well in Alison's world again.....

 

So here is the reality of what has happened.....

 

I landed in London at the end of May last year, and I remember boarding that flight back to the UK, feeling like a weight had been lifted! Then boom! I came crashing down to earth with a bang. The day I landed, Lee Rigby had been brutally murdered on the streets of London. My family picked me up from the airport and instead of feeling happy to see each other, we were strangely sullen, even though we didn't know this young man. The whole of London was in grief. So was the rest of the country. We spent the rest of the day watching Sky News in disbelief. The following day, I took myself into Croydon to do some shopping and take my mind of the feeling I had made a big mistake, coming back to a country where such a horrible thing could happen. I snapped myself out of it and told myself it was jetlag and I would feel better once I went back to Newcastle.

 

I returned to Newcastle a week later and I remember feeling elated at coming home. Some of you will know, I'm from Ireland originally but moved to Newcastle in 2004 so I considered it home. It was fantastic seeing my friends again and the sun was shining so it didn't feel like I had left the weather behind.

 

I met up with my ex and I in my head, it was going to be the answer to all of my problems. We would settle down again, start a family and live happily ever after. But we met and I felt empty. He wasn't the same guy and I could see the resentment in his eyes, despite saying to me in over email when I was in Oz, that he thought I had done the right thing by ending things in the first place and following my dreams. I realized I didn't love him anymore and probably never would again. So I cut him loose and I haven't seen him since. I know he is happily settled now with a nice girl and is going to be a Dad at the end of the year. It's funny how things change in such a short period of time.

 

I focused on having a great Summer before returning to work and spent lots of good times with my friends. My Dad was going to be away a lot so I didn't go back to Ireland. I returned to my old job and I still had that niggling feeling I had made a mistake. Morale was at it's lowest in the Ambulance Service and the job had changed a lot in the last 12 months. There was a restructure which has crippled the Emergency Services. There were staff cuts and increased demand and it wasn't long before I started to feel burnt out. I went for a promotion and I got it, moving me into management. That is where I am at now and morally, I'm not 100% comfortable with the inside view and I don't know if my future lies within the NHS. But for now, I've got a job and I know I'm pretty lucky.

 

I'm renting a lovely little flat and it feels like home. I've been keen to meet someone and settle down but it's just not happening for me. I've been on a few dates but no chemistry. So I've been working non stop. I've gotten back into the same cycle I was in before I went to Australia. I continue to see friends when I can. I had a lovely Christmas and saw my family and I'm looking forward to a great Summer again.

 

But lately my thoughts keep drifting back to my life in Oz. It was an extremely complicated move when I went. I cancelled my wedding, left someone I had been with for 8 years, rehomed my cats, sold my house, left my job, friends and family. I had to process all of these decisions on my own in Brisbane and I think it was too much. I felt I had to return to the UK to have a safety net once again. I missed my old life.

 

But what you romanticize about in your head when you're away from home, isn't always what it's going to be like when you come back. I have no work/personal life balance and I persistently work long hours, feel exhausted and I still feel lonely at times. Something needs to give but I don't know what that is yet.

 

On the whole, I'm happier about being home. about to sign a lease for another 12 months on my flat. But I'm not ruling out going back to Australia. But if I do, it won't be because I'm running away from anything and I won't be leaving unfinished business behind.

 

I never ever thought I would consider a move back. I wanted to shut the door on Australia and forget it ever happened. But it's a bloody great place to live, provided you're in the right frame of mind. And I miss it. The grass is seldom greener......But for now, I'm just getting on with life. But watch this space.:wink:


What if the Hokey Cokey really IS what it's all about?:eek:

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Guest Guest66881

Great update so happy for you and your choices love the fact you have just cracked on with things even through some emotional and probably at times awkward moments.

Nice to hear from you and that you are doing well, don't be a stranger.

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Its easier to make small changes than huge ones so if things arent quite right you can tweak to see if that fixes things - the rose tints are always going to be there, even for the hardiest of us and on those days where nothing goes right and you are living the bad of the now, it is easy to look back on the good of the then. The here and now will always lose out. Hopefully things will be onwards and upwards for you! You can never go back to exactly what you had unfortunately, only forwards to a new adventure!

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I wondered what had happened to you! I guess you had to come back to realise what it is you really wanted/needed. Maybe a move back now would work out better the second time round. Well done on the promotion, good to hear that life is going generally well! And i hope you meet your mr right soon!

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Dare I say it but it sounds to me like you are probably just yearning to meet that soul mate. I very much remember those feelings myself and I don't believe it is a location thing so much. Then again I may have misinterpreted.......


Timeline: 309/100 Sent 7/8/13, Money Taken 9/8/13, CO appointed 3/9/13. Med 3/12/13. Police check 4/12/13. VISA GRANTED 8/4/14, Subclass100. Recce August 2014. Arrived 30 July 2015.

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Welcome back Alison. You have certainly been on a journey and are all the wiser for it! Good luck in all your future ventures:)

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Guest Guest40285

Far out @Missus B, I did wonder what happened to you, Brisbane was the all the go at one stage eh ? Take care and I hope you find some balance, Happy days.

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Nice to hear from you Missus B. I hope you find what you need.


I drink, therefore I dance.....

 

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Good to hear you are making a go of things in some sort of way Missus B. tbh I think it won't matter where you live, be it here or Aus, tere will always be the what ifs, I know there certainly is for me.

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As one book closes another opens. Good luck with whatever you decide, when you least expect it you meet the one with the chemistry.


Petals

:ssign15:taking no prisoners :wink:

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Hello lovely, we missed you! X stay happy no matter what your choices


And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive at where we started, and know the place for the first time.

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@Missus B I'm so interested to read your update as we are moving from Brisbane to Newcastle/Northumberland (jobs allowing) at the end of this year! Would love to ask you a couple of questions if that's okay.

 

I think I will have mixed feelings as you do but it's good that you're happy and enjoying time with friends and family. Glad to hear the weather has been kind also! :-)

Edited by Aunt Agatha

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The last time I was on here, my head was all over the place. My ex was tugging at my heart strings and I felt I wanted to move back to the UK and give it another shot with him. I wanted my cats back. I had great ideas about seeing my family more and doing lots of amazing things with my friends that I had missed so much. I even missed my old job! I romanticized about travelling all over Europe and having a proper Christmas again. I wanted to explore the Northumberland Countryside more than I had in the past and all was going to be well in Alison's world again.....

 

So here is the reality of what has happened.....

 

 

Your story is such a great illustration of how we romanticize our home country when we leave! It's also a good illustration of how it is never the same when we go back - even in the space of 12 months, you've seen changes. People considering a move back need to bear both those things in mind.

 

It sounds like you're doing fine. You're young and fancy-free, and unlike migrants with kids, it won't be too hard for you to head back to Oz if you decide to do so. Good luck to you either way!

 

As for relationships - if you were buying a home, how many houses would you expect to view before you found the right one? Finding a soulmate is a far bigger commitment than a home, so realistically you're going to have to "view" just as many "properties" before you find the right one. Try not to see an unsuccessful date as unsuccessful, see it as just another viewing - at least it got you out of the house and you had a nice meal/conversation/coffee/day out or whatever.


Scot by birth, emigrated 1985 | Aussie husband granted UK spouse visa March 2015, moved to UK May 2015 | Returned to Oz June 2016

My new novel, A Dance With Danger, is due out August 2022

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Good to see your catch up post. Had wondered how you were doing. Life eh!


You never know what's just around the corner ........

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Lovely post, what strikes me is that you seem to be searching for Mr Right so that you can settle down and as you say 'live happily ever after'. Probably if you met him you wouldn't care where you were living - so in some ways whether to live in the UK or Australia isn't really the issue as you would be content wherever you were. I have been happily married to an Australian for almost 20 years now but it brings its own complications and problems - one of us is always living in a different country to their family and friends, plus all the issues of visas, residency etc. I have often wished that I had married the 'boy nextdoor' - it would have made life so much easier. So my advice would be to give it a bit longer in the UK!

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You've been brave enough to follow your heart thus far well done! Location alone doesn't bring happiness. Good luck for the future.

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Nice to see you are happy and getting on with your life. I would never leave Australia out of choice but we are all different and you have to do whats right for you. All the best.

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Guest

Hey, Missus B - great to read your update, funnily enough I've just posted our '12 month back' update too.

 

We have very different stories which just goes to show you can read and research as much as you like but the journey is different for everyone.

 

It sounds like in someways you ran away to Australia (and nothing wrong with that when you were young and newly single!) but maybe that didn't make it the easiest journey and from what I recall work in your profession was really not to your liking.

 

I am sorry things didn't work out with your ex but maybe you needed to come back for both your sakes to draw a line under it and have peace of mind that it will never be.

 

So now here you are with much greater peace of mind and an Australian visa burning a hole in your pocket, so what to do?

 

Have another adventure I say :) It doesn't need to be forever but just like you probably needed to come back to find peace with your ex, maybe you need to go back to Australia to find peace there - maybe you'll stay maybe you won't, it actually doesn't matter, what matters is you end any doubts.

 

I do agree with others though it sounds like you really are wanting a partner to share life with and that's what is missing and all the travel in the world isn't going to fix that. Getting out there and enjoying life probably will though - love tends to happen when we're not looking for it.

 

You should but the Australian question to bed first though you don't want to end up with a partner that wants different things, not sure if that's what happened with your ex?

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Great post misses b, if you went back to oz I bet within 6 months your thoughts would be of home, we always think of the best bits when we think of the country we have just left and this is why there are so many ping pongers....it's a pity we can't mix the best of both countries into one, I remember you were not that happy in oz and it will most probably be the same after a few months if you return.....I am afraid there is no hope for you gal......:cute:


Drinking rum before 11am does not make you an alcoholic, it makes you pirate..

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Hya Mrs B.....

 

I swear down I was on the phone to me mate in Tynemouth on the weekend (his wedding in September) and I thought, "I wonder what happened to that lass from Newcastle who went back from Brissy"....

 

It's a funny trick then isn't it eh. I would have bet owt that you would be lovin it back in the toon with no thoughts of Ozzie at all. Goes to show the power of migration and the effect of ping pom-ness hey. Believe it or not I did move too, I moved to Newcastle, NSW for the time being.

 

Not sure how many readers are aware but the similarities between the two joints is amazing. For example, guess where all the students live in Newcastle, NSW.... That's right - Jesmond. And where did I stay in a motel when I first got here? Why Morpeth of course - which was just down the highway from Hexham.....

 

I am really looking forward to going back in September for me mates wedding - should be a great time of year and, if I recall - the surf is normally good then too. We have actually organised to have a surf in the morning before his wedding - all the lads that grew up together in Saltburn..... Man I can't wait!

 

Feel free to pm me if you want an intro to some local Geordie surfie types :-)

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Wow great update Alison

 

Glad to see that you followed your heart and that is always the best thing to do. Congratulations on your promotion. Sorry things did not feel right in Oz for you but life is too short to be somewhere that doesn't feel right. We have moved every two years for the last 20; but I wouldn't recommend that lol. Oz is a massive move and ours has not been without its ups and downs; More downs than ups if I am honest. We are moving again at the end of the year to Brisbane so will see how that goes. My son still wants to return to the UK in a couple of years so I am keeping an open mind on the whole thing.

 

Best of luck with everything. I hope you really happy, wherever you decide to be in the long term. :smile:

 

Millie x


Visa: 475 regional GRANT 22/6/12, touchdown 4/11/12 . Applied 189 PR visa 13/11/14 Grant 20/1/15

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Good to hear from you Missus B.

 

You know what'll happen if you go back to Aus don't you?


My Brain Hurts!

 

 

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