newjez Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 My eldest is thirteen, and he is starting to think about what he wants to do with the rest of his life. I am in IT, and having watched my industry get outsourced to India, I would never recommend anyone goes into IT, although I love my job. My wife is a teacher, and she hates the way that children are now classed as assets that can have education invested into them to later start producing for the economy. She loves to teach, but she would never recommend teaching to anyone. I'll give a brief rundown on their skills. Eldest (13) is okay academically - mainly b's with some a's. Very creative, very good at design. Good at empathizing with people, although not really a people person. Doesn't want to be rich - just wants to be comfortable. Middle child (12) - more a's than b's, very good at maths, very good with people, wants lots of money. Not very creative. Youngest is too young to think about it - but he is very bright, and very quick on the tongue. I would be interested in anything you thing could specifically interest them, or if you just love your job, please tell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest66881 Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Whatever they want to do, they have a life to lead and a path to travel, yeah for sure give pointers and guidance but don't make the decision for them.:biggrin: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northernbird Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Don't encourage/direct them to do anything but do as well at school as they can. Some kids get to 16 and still don't know what to do with their lives. It's a massive decision and very few kids know exactly what they want to do with their lives when they are that age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy1 Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Twelve and thirteen is too young to be directing them into any career. Encourage and support the interests they already have and introduce them to new ideas and experiences. These days it is common for people to have more than one career and in different areas. Flexibility is the key. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Agree with the above, but will say science and engineering are good careers, particularly if one is good at maths. Science has been reasonably good to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jac2011 Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Maths has always been good for me in all my roles. I love nursing but its certainly not for everyone! My DD (10) has said for 4 years she wants to work with Dolphins, we discussed how she could be a marine biologist and work around the barrier reef and she has stuck by that every single day and is passionate about it. She regularly gives talks to her class about dolphins and Australia and I know she will stick with this! My son (8) just wants to open a sweet shop! And again, knowing him and his enthusiasm for school and anything energetic, he may actually end up doing just that! I let them follow their hearts and I will support them with either. My biggest regret growing up was having no guidance from family as to what I could do when I was older. It felt like all my parents felt responsible for was to get me to 16 and then the rest was my path, and my path alone. I promised to talk about the future to my children and support them in creating careers for themselves. My parents failure meant I spend 12 years in dead end jobs until at 28 I had the strength to go back to Uni! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy1 Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Maths has always been good for me in all my roles. I love nursing but its certainly not for everyone! My DD (10) has said for 4 years she wants to work with Dolphins, we discussed how she could be a marine biologist and work around the barrier reef and she has stuck by that every single day and is passionate about it. She regularly gives talks to her class about dolphins and Australia and I know she will stick with this! My son (8) just wants to open a sweet shop! And again, knowing him and his enthusiasm for school and anything energetic, he may actually end up doing just that! I let them follow their hearts and I will support them with either. My biggest regret growing up was having no guidance from family as to what I could do when I was older. It felt like all my parents felt responsible for was to get me to 16 and then the rest was my path, and my path alone. I promised to talk about the future to my children and support them in creating careers for themselves. My parents failure meant I spend 12 years in dead end jobs until at 28 I had the strength to go back to Uni! Lots of people go back to uni later in life, some simply are not ready at 18. It is a bit harsh to blame our parents for early decisions though. Whilst they may not have guided you into a particular area at age 16, they obviously did something right. Those dead end jobs may well have been the making of you, experience is invaluable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 My twelve year old boy is moving to Japan and becoming a world reknown games designer when he's old enough! Sooo tempted to say "Yes and in the real world" but no I smile and nod my head and say well you'll have to get good grades then and work really hard. Who knows what the future holds for him. So long as he's happy I'm going to be happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louisella Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 It amazes me that we expect school leavers to know what they want to do for their careers, I appreciate that some may but generally how can they be expected to know when they haven't experienced real working life at that point? It's such a big ask. Personally I think encourage them to explore more of what interests them rather than a career specifically and you may find that it comes to them in their own natural time. Also retraining at a later age is always an option if they decide they want to go down a different path Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3FatCats Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 I still don't know what I want to be! :laugh: Some people have a vocation, others have areas of talent. I am very much the second, and have struggled to understand what path to take, ending up taking jobs to pay the mortgage, albeit with some success in my field. If anything, I wish my parents or someone else of significance had had a " talk" with me when I was growing up, giving me more courage to choose things I liked instead of worrying about the future. Your kids are still young, rather than encourage a particular career, help them to understand the things they are passionate about. You're a good Dad :cute: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Counting Stars Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 I wanted to be a Marine Biologist for a long time when I was a child (because I loved Dolphins lol) then I wanted to be a Criminal Profiler even started working for the Police... now I'm training to be a nurse.... life didn't work out that I went to Uni at 18 after I did my A levels but I'm there now at 29 lol. My parents didn't guide me towards my career and in fact were quite shocked when I picked Nursing lol. As long as my kids are happy I don't mind what they do in life. As I know you can have all these big life plans and something will happen which changes your path... I will guide them to be happy and content with wherever life takes them and as long as they work hard and live life I really don't mind xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyHeart Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 All I would do is let them follow their hearts...they'll do best in life if they are led by what inspires them...not what pays best and is hard work for them... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 My eldest is thirteen, and he is starting to think about what he wants to do with the rest of his life. I am in IT, and having watched my industry get outsourced to India, I would never recommend anyone goes into IT, although I love my job. My wife is a teacher, and she hates the way that children are now classed as assets that can have education invested into them to later start producing for the economy. She loves to teach, but she would never recommend teaching to anyone. I'll give a brief rundown on their skills. Eldest (13) is okay academically - mainly b's with some a's. Very creative, very good at design. Good at empathizing with people, although not really a people person. Doesn't want to be rich - just wants to be comfortable. Middle child (12) - more a's than b's, very good at maths, very good with people, wants lots of money. Not very creative. Youngest is too young to think about it - but he is very bright, and very quick on the tongue. I would be interested in anything you thing could specifically interest them, or if you just love your job, please tell. Well I am the ultimate career girl, but I didn't chose my career until I was 22, I have stuck at it since though and unlikely I will change, but I was 22.. My parents never discussed career options with me either, they would have been happy whatever and I think always saw this as my path to find and choose. I am perhaps a bit biased if I say, just encourage the maths in your child that is talented in that subject. Maths is always going to be desirable and opens a lot of doors, it was my subject too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 I'd be doing my very best not to advise them! When I think back to how my parents and teachers advised me I'd be afraid to influence my son, most of us have a limited world view but to our kids we are the oracle. When my parents said I would be better off doing psychology to agriculture when I was undecided I believed they were in a position to know best, when my love and ability in biology lead me to ask my biology teacher where a degree in Biology could take me and his response was 'teaching' I didn't pursue that passion any further....now I see a bitter man who didn't fulfil his own dreams. It actually worries me that my 10 year old 'knows' he wants to be a computer games something because the world is his oyster and he has so many options. In fact we had this chat the other day when he was trying to pin down whether he wanted to be a designer, animator or developer! And 'which university do you think I should go to'. Scary, very scary! The best advice I ever got was at an open day at Newcastle University and that was 'do something you love' and that was pretty much my advice to my son. Do what you love because you'll be doing it for a long time, but be realistic do something you are good it (told him mummy loves singing but could never be a singer - I got the point, I'm tone deaf!) and think about the lifestyle you want (travel, anti-social hours, self-employed, part-time work etc.) but leave the decision as long as possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tina0101 Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 You shouldn't direct your kids towards a career - what they are good at now, may not be where they want to be. At 12/13 my son wasn't interested in some of the subjects he loves now at 16. He still doesn't know what he wants to be, but we will always let him choose the subjects he wants and advise him as necessary. I hated IT at school and tried to avoid it. At 35, I have discovered I am a bit of a whizz with computers and databases!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicF Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 At 15 I wanted to be a lighting designer in a theatre. At 16 I found I couldn't do theatre studies at A level so decided to do media studies instead. By 17 I decided I wanted to work in TV or film production on the business side of things so went off and did a Media Studies and Business Management degree. By the end of the second year of my degree I decided I quite liked IT so did IT for half my third year business studies and followed that up with an MSc in computer studies. Still keen on a career in IT I got a graduate position as a trainee analyst programmer. Just a year later I moved out of an IT role and in to a business support role. And a year after that I moved back in to an IT role, but this time as a support analyst on a help desk. And a year after that I went on Maternity leave. On my return from maternity leave I ended up in a finance role as that was the only thing available in the office I wanted to work in. I have been working in finance for the last 12 years. My colleague in the UK, just a year younger than me, knew she wanted to be an accountant from quite an early age, did a degree in accountancy and became an accountant and is still an accountant now. Some people know what they want to be, become that and stay working in that field for most, or all, of their life. Others continue to change careers throughout their life time as their interests change. My point? Not sure I have one really but I do think we put far too much pressure on our kids to have the rest of their lives mapped out at a really early age. Kids are far more likely to learn and work hard if they are interested in the subjects they are studying. The only guidance we as parents should be giving them is helping them choose a path (or subjects) that will suit them and their abilities and interests. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jac2011 Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 To my earlier post, It came across that I blamed my parents for not guiding me... I know that sounds harsh, but unfortunately I had very challenging parents who just thought raising a child was to get them through school and turf them out. I don't think my post clearly identified that. None of my parents ever helped with my schooling, gave me advice (well apart from as a mother it is my role to live on benefits, not go to work!) or let me believe I was capable of achieving anything.... That is why I push my children, but not in any particular direction just in achieving whatever dream they have no matter how wacky or bizarre that may be! An example of my parents at the moment, is they are mid 50s and my mum is mad at me for wanting to emigrate. Not because she will lose me or the children (who she hasn't seen for a year) but because in her words that money I am spending to emigrate is money I could have given to her to help her live her life more comfortably as she is in debt.... Baring in mind, she is in debt because she has gambled away her life savings and the 40k inheritance my grandma left her! Parents can be shocking at times!!! I want my children to believe in their dreams, not feel burdened or held back my money or distance or time. If my son wants a sweet shop, I will do what I can to help him learn about business and set up one. If my daughter wants to be a marine biologist I will take her to places that will inspire her and give her the skills to do so. I think by believing in your childrens dreams and allowing them to choose their own path, knowing that they can access you for support when needed that is all they need. Allow them to follow their dreams and believe in themselves. The rest will follow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramac Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 I've always told ours to do what they enjoy. They should choose something they know they'll like doing as it's likely they'll be working until they're 70! Our eldest had a crisis last year about whether she was going to be doing the right course at uni, so she gave up her unconditional place at uni and took a gap year. She's now decided that the course IS the right one after all, so is off to uni (different one) in Sept. Having a year out gave her time to get off the treadmill and really think about what she's doing. Kids get on the exam treadmill earlier and earlier and I don't think they really have the opportunity to consider all the options available to them which can lead them in completely the wrong direction. Our middle one has known what she wants to do since she started her A level courses and is set on uni for Sept, but her direction changed from what she wanted to do at the end of GCSEs. The youngest is doing GCSEs this time and is already panicking because she doesn't know what she wants to do at uni. We've encouraged her to do A levels in subjects she really enjoys and is good at and told her that it doesn't matter that she doesn't know any further than that - it'll either become clear in the next two years, or she can take a year out to explore different options, including not going to uni if that's what's right for her. We can guide, advise and provide information (although they're pretty good at doing that for themselves and school is very supportive), and we'll always support them if they need to have a break to think. There are four girls at school who are repeating their AS year because their parents wanted them to become drs, accountants etc and eventually the girls have stood up for themselves (or been told that their grades wouldn't be good enough to get onto the parents chosen course) and have chosen a completely different direction. I don't think it's ever too late to change your mind re your career. One of my friends used to be a manager in the NHS then decided at the age of 42 to do her medical training. She has three children and is now at the end of her training and working as a junior dr on the wards. Nothing has to be forever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
realitynotincluded Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 l wouldn't really push any direction.... e.g. Son when 5ish proudly announced he wanted to be a doctor.... l was chuft to bits that he was already captured by doing something wonderful...... driving to school (we lived in the countryside) he proudly announced he had changed his mind... curiosity got the better of me and l made the mistake of asking..... his reply whilst admiring the fields whizzing by......l am going to be a scarecrow.......... l never asked him again what he wanted to do when leaving school........... l am either gonna be a proud mother or l am going to have to buy a farm..... by the way he is sixteen now.... in year 11 and has set his sights on neurosurgeon ... there is hope yet.... l am saving all old clothes and a straw hat just incase.............. My eldest is thirteen, and he is starting to think about what he wants to do with the rest of his life. I am in IT, and having watched my industry get outsourced to India, I would never recommend anyone goes into IT, although I love my job. My wife is a teacher, and she hates the way that children are now classed as assets that can have education invested into them to later start producing for the economy. She loves to teach, but she would never recommend teaching to anyone. I'll give a brief rundown on their skills. Eldest (13) is okay academically - mainly b's with some a's. Very creative, very good at design. Good at empathizing with people, although not really a people person. Doesn't want to be rich - just wants to be comfortable. Middle child (12) - more a's than b's, very good at maths, very good with people, wants lots of money. Not very creative. Youngest is too young to think about it - but he is very bright, and very quick on the tongue. I would be interested in anything you thing could specifically interest them, or if you just love your job, please tell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramac Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 l wouldn't really push any direction.... e.g. Son when 5ish proudly announced he wanted to be a doctor.... l was chuft to bits that he was already captured by doing something wonderful...... driving to school (we lived in the countryside) he proudly announced he had changed his mind... curiosity got the better of me and l made the mistake of asking..... his reply whilst admiring the fields whizzing by......l am going to be a scarecrow.......... l never asked him again what he wanted to do when leaving school........... l am either gonna be a proud mother or l am going to have to buy a farm..... by the way he is sixteen now.... in year 11 and has set his sights on neurosurgeon ... there is hope yet.... l am saving all old clothes and a straw hat just incase.............. Love it! :laugh: I remember my middle one saying she wanted to be a farmer and live in a tree. By rights, she should be weaving her own lentils by now.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramot Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 When my oldest was about to go to university, his head master gave all the parents some advice. he said don't worry if your son doesn't know what he wants to do after university. It was an all boys school. only 10% know what they want to do after university and while there 9 out 10 change their minds!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Yep, i think we often change our minds about our careers as we go along. When i left school i wanted to join the army. I did, then i wanted to be a lawyer, so went off to uni in my early 20's, then realised i didnt after an undergrad and post grad and didnt know what i wanted to be. Then i wanted to be a scientist. At the moment i want to be a window cleaner and market stall holder and am investigating it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 My eldest is thirteen, and he is starting to think about what he wants to do with the rest of his life. I am in IT, and having watched my industry get outsourced to India, I would never recommend anyone goes into IT, although I love my job. My wife is a teacher, and she hates the way that children are now classed as assets that can have education invested into them to later start producing for the economy. She loves to teach, but she would never recommend teaching to anyone. I'll give a brief rundown on their skills. Eldest (13) is okay academically - mainly b's with some a's. Very creative, very good at design. Good at empathizing with people, although not really a people person. Doesn't want to be rich - just wants to be comfortable. Middle child (12) - more a's than b's, very good at maths, very good with people, wants lots of money. Not very creative. Youngest is too young to think about it - but he is very bright, and very quick on the tongue. I would be interested in anything you thing could specifically interest them, or if you just love your job, please tell. My daughter is in her 2nd year at Uni, it was really only when she started there that she had any idea of what she'd like to do (teaching), even that's changed in the last 12 months from primary to secondary teaching. My son has talked about joining the police for about 3 years, this year at school he's doing mechanical workshop and has loved taking apart engines and putting them back together - he's also developed a love of history and science which he hadn't before (probably down to good/enthusiastic teachers). I work in Mental health (have done since I was 18), I'm as enthusiastic about it now as I was then, but I don't see my children doing what i'm doing. My experience so far (which is limited to a 19 and 14 year old) is that they're going to find their way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Levi Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Up until I was 10-12 I wanted to be a confectioner/pastry cook. I don't really recommend it now. Then I went to high school (maths+some IT), that was good, I liked it and I was really good at maths and especially chemistry. Every time my physics teacher asked what uni will we attend, I always said chemistry and he always replied "I don't believe that / I don't believe you". University was like this: Faculty of Economics and Business Administration, first 2 years general stuff, then last 2 years of finance & banking specialization (other choices for the last 2 years were marketing, economic informatics (is the wording right??)). Then followed one more year of master's studies: Corporate Finance. Always made my own decisions, but some advice would have been welcome. Currently I can wipe my bee-hind with my diplomas, only opportunities in the finance sector are: info desk/teller/selling insurance at banks = no thank you, you can keep your small commissions; or the Business Process Outsourcing sector, which has equally low wages as the former I mentioned, plus killer work hours. So: I do recommend the IT sector, engineering, and the likes. Do give some advice to the kids, not everybody can be or should be a singer, a ballerina, join the army/police, etc. In my view the majority of youngsters these days are not realistic. Getting their heads out of the clouds would be welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramac Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Levi, I think most kids have got their feet on the ground and are quite realistic about life. They are far more informed than I ever was at school. Mine look at what they're interested in, then ask themselves what opportunities might be open to them and what job prospects there would be if they take that course. The majority I come into contact with seem very switched on regarding their life paths and those who aren't know what to do to keep all options open. Of course there are those who have no ambition, or want to emulate their reality tv idols, but I don't think they're in the majority. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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