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Katie22

Why do people want to rain on your parade?!

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After 12 years in Australia and finally making the decision to return to UK has lifted a massive weight off of my shoulders that I've been carrying around for so long. I could have gone back many years ago but circumstances haven't let me but now I'm at a point in my life when I can do it and rather than living with regret, I'm going to do it - if it works out then brilliant, if not, well life is full of ups and downs and no one ever gets anywhere without taking risks.

 

So decision made, and one I'm 100% happy with along with my close family but why do other people want to question me and constantly tell me I'm doing the wrong thing? Yesterday was nearly the final straw after many of them when a work colleague (who's an English migrant too) said "what the hell are you doing that for, you'll be back after 6 months"! I was so angry:arghh: and much to her surprise (she's an exceedingly dominant character and I'm quite passive!) I politely reminded her that she has the financial freedom to travel back to the UK and Europe every year so it really cannot be quite that bad then can it, or she'd be spending her holidays in Australia wouldn't she?

 

Ok, the UK has it's problems, social deprivation, unemployment.....the list goes on but so does Australia and I've witnessed that with my son becoming involved in the growing teenage drug culture here - yes Australian teenagers take drugs too! I have always tried to not compare between the two countries as believed that just fuels your unhappiness but sometimes hearing how wonderful it is here compared to the UK really bugs me!

 

Crikey, got that off my chest - thanks POZ!

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It's usually the ones with the biggest cognitive dissonance that do it the most! Envy can do that to you, she's probably trapped with no escape. I wouldn't worry too much, just enjoy the ride! Good luck!

Edited by Quoll

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Probably other migrants are the worst (maybe secretly they want to go back too). When I first moved here many years ago (to be with my Aussie husband) someone at a bbq (who I'd never met before) said "I expect you are really glad you are here now" - as if England was the worst place in the world and I was so lucky to escape! That kind of attitude comes from ignorance, from Australians who have never travelled but believe all the hype - anyone who has travelled will I am sure be understanding. Anyway, who cares what other people think, they are not living your life, just do what's best for you!

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Are you sure your issue isn't the fact that you are living in Adelaide ?


I want it all, and I want it now.

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Guest Guest40285

Good luck with the move, Good on ya, Happy days all the best.

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Some people seem to be of the opinion that you can't love Australia without hating the UK (and vice versa). It's absolute rubbish of course and I think maybe it stems from their own insecurities/prejudices/failings. Best thing to do is just pity their ignorance (and maybe put them in their place if they do it repeatedly as you did brilliantly) but otherwise just ignore it and be glad you're not so ridiculous.

 

Good luck with the next stage in your adventure!

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I find reactions vary according to where people have come from in the UK - For instance, I know someone from Crawley who loves it here and would never consider going back - He has a much bigger house than he had in Crawley and a much higher quality of life. I know people from York, Cardiff, Brighton who all admit to wanting to return some day. If you come from a lovely place, you might be more positive about returning. Good luck to you - i for one am envious - and don't listen to the doubters/sour grapes.... Personally as much as I love Australia, I'm done now. I could never say that about the UK - Too much to see in a lifetime, and that's before you get started on the rest of Europe.

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You are making a very personal decision, only you know if that decision is right for you. Nobody sets any rules on whether you should stay or go, and to be honest its nothing to do with anyone else. We've moved around quite a bit with work and Australia is coming up in the next few months and we often get comments such as 'you're leaving behind a good thing, you'll regret it etc' from every job I leave for something new and for every country we embark on. But when it comes down to it, you are making a decision that works for you and if you decide that you want to stay in the UK forever, or if you decide to return to Australia in the future, so what, that's what makes you happy. Sometimes its good to be selfish and only consider yourself and your immediate family because everyone else can go screw themselves as they aren't directly affected by the decision.

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If you are comfortable with your decision you shouldn't let other people's opinions bother you.

 

Good luck with your plans.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Some people find it really hard to see things from another person's point of view and can't understand that someone might think differently to them. I wouldn't worry about it - comments made say more about the person making them than the person they are being made about.

 

I love Adelaide and the area we live in and I'm very happy here. Doesn't mean I think everyone else should love it though. I was also happy in the UK, could have been living in a nicer area but we made the decision to move closer to my OHs family rather than moving to a nicer part of the UK away from my family. If you are happy with your decision to move then you have made the right decision and should ignore anyone who says otherwise. After 12 years here I think it's safe to say you know what it's like here. Enjoy your life back in the UK.


Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.

Dale Carnegie – 1888-1955, Author and Lecturer

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After 12 years in Australia and finally making the decision to return to UK has lifted a massive weight off of my shoulders that I've been carrying around for so long. I could have gone back many years ago but circumstances haven't let me but now I'm at a point in my life when I can do it and rather than living with regret, I'm going to do it - if it works out then brilliant, if not, well life is full of ups and downs and no one ever gets anywhere without taking risks.

 

So decision made, and one I'm 100% happy with along with my close family but why do other people want to question me and constantly tell me I'm doing the wrong thing? Yesterday was nearly the final straw after many of them when a work colleague (who's an English migrant too) said "what the hell are you doing that for, you'll be back after 6 months"! I was so angry:arghh: and much to her surprise (she's an exceedingly dominant character and I'm quite passive!) I politely reminded her that she has the financial freedom to travel back to the UK and Europe every year so it really cannot be quite that bad then can it, or she'd be spending her holidays in Australia wouldn't she?

 

Ok, the UK has it's problems, social deprivation, unemployment.....the list goes on but so does Australia and I've witnessed that with my son becoming involved in the growing teenage drug culture here - yes Australian teenagers take drugs too! I have always tried to not compare between the two countries as believed that just fuels your unhappiness but sometimes hearing how wonderful it is here compared to the UK really bugs me!

 

Crikey, got that off my chest - thanks POZ!

a lot of these people would love to do what you are doing but are stuck in oz for whatever reason....they want you to be as unhappy as they are.


Drinking rum before 11am does not make you an alcoholic, it makes you pirate..

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True friends will be happy for you, sod the rest of them


2012 IELTS 26/5 ANMAC 27/10 2013 LOD 14/03 AHPRA 08/05 LOE 30/05 EOI for QLD SS submitted and invited (same day) 30/05 190 Visa lodged 11/06 Medicals 29/06 CO allocated 12/7 PCC 23/7 extra docs 18/8 VISA GRANTED 23/8! Flights booked 10 Sept Brisbane bound! :jiggy:

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I suppose it's just that the negative comments make me defensive about the UK and critical about Australia which I don't want to be. Australia is just not for me anymore but I'm not going to dismiss its good points and I'm going to try and make the most of them before I leave. So yes, I shouldn't let other peoples prejudices and ignorance annoy me and I won't, my best revenge is by just doing what I want to do and that's to go back!

 

Yes and living in Adelaide probably doesn't help!

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After 12 years in Australia and finally making the decision to return to UK has lifted a massive weight off of my shoulders that I've been carrying around for so long. I could have gone back many years ago but circumstances haven't let me but now I'm at a point in my life when I can do it and rather than living with regret, I'm going to do it - if it works out then brilliant, if not, well life is full of ups and downs and no one ever gets anywhere without taking risks.

 

So decision made, and one I'm 100% happy with along with my close family but why do other people want to question me and constantly tell me I'm doing the wrong thing? Yesterday was nearly the final straw after many of them when a work colleague (who's an English migrant too) said "what the hell are you doing that for, you'll be back after 6 months"! I was so angry:arghh: and much to her surprise (she's an exceedingly dominant character and I'm quite passive!) I politely reminded her that she has the financial freedom to travel back to the UK and Europe every year so it really cannot be quite that bad then can it, or she'd be spending her holidays in Australia wouldn't she?

 

Ok, the UK has it's problems, social deprivation, unemployment.....the list goes on but so does Australia and I've witnessed that with my son becoming involved in the growing teenage drug culture here - yes Australian teenagers take drugs too! I have always tried to not compare between the two countries as believed that just fuels your unhappiness but sometimes hearing how wonderful it is here compared to the UK really bugs me!

 

Crikey, got that off my chest - thanks POZ!

 

Agree with post below. You know I sometimes harbour the sneaky suspicion that many folk have a realisation that life is not quite what they make it out to be here. It's just that they convince or attempt to something else. Of course more money, climate even a pool may keep the void at bay for a time, but deep down there is something nagging within their soul. Hence the often aired comments towards though pulling anchor and returning.

 

I mean why would anyone conclude such a thing when a third do return? Doesn't make a lot of sense.

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Probably other migrants are the worst (maybe secretly they want to go back too). When I first moved here many years ago (to be with my Aussie husband) someone at a bbq (who I'd never met before) said "I expect you are really glad you are here now" - as if England was the worst place in the world and I was so lucky to escape! That kind of attitude comes from ignorance, from Australians who have never travelled but believe all the hype - anyone who has travelled will I am sure be understanding. Anyway, who cares what other people think, they are not living your life, just do what's best for you!

 

Sadly folk here in OZ seem to care what others think. Odd why they'd care but has long been the case. Almost searching for confirmation that OZ isn't such a bad deal after all.

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a lot of these people would love to do what you are doing but are stuck in oz for whatever reason....they want you to be as unhappy as they are.

 

Or can't handle their perceptions of place being challenged. If not directly then from within.

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I find reactions vary according to where people have come from in the UK - For instance, I know someone from Crawley who loves it here and would never consider going back - He has a much bigger house than he had in Crawley and a much higher quality of life. I know people from York, Cardiff, Brighton who all admit to wanting to return some day. If you come from a lovely place, you might be more positive about returning. Good luck to you - i for one am envious - and don't listen to the doubters/sour grapes.... Personally as much as I love Australia, I'm done now. I could never say that about the UK - Too much to see in a lifetime, and that's before you get started on the rest of Europe.

 

I agree. The bigger house and perhaps pay packet over rule personality of place, belonging and agreeability.

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I suppose it's just that the negative comments make me defensive about the UK and critical about Australia which I don't want to be. Australia is just not for me anymore but I'm not going to dismiss its good points and I'm going to try and make the most of them before I leave. So yes, I shouldn't let other peoples prejudices and ignorance annoy me and I won't, my best revenge is by just doing what I want to do and that's to go back!

 

Yes and living in Adelaide probably doesn't help!

 

Oi! Don't mess with the 'laide :cool:

 

In all seriousness if you wanted proper city living you would head for Sydney, or my preference Melbourne.

 

Adelaide has a lot going for it, depends on what stage in life you are I guess.

 

With regard to the comments, the negative thoughts IMO come from two sides: the ones 'back home' who cant comprehend what youre doing and through jealousy try to talk it down. Those same people often would kill to do what youre doing but through lack of funds, opportunity or (and this is the main one) cajones!! are unable to follow it through. They therefore stay in the same town all their lives.

 

Be prepared for these same people if you do return giving it the 'I see youre back already' chat.

 

The second group as has been mentioned are the expats who want to reinforce their idea of an Oz Utopia. Theyre looking for you to reinforce this ideal in their own minds.

 

The UK has an awful lot going for it and seems to be on the up. And that's coming from someone living over here and having invested all the time, money and emotion to get here. Follow your gut instinct, its usually spot on.

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Good luck with your move back to the UK, only you can be sure what's best for you and your family. Those who are dissing your decision could very well be envious of your situation in being able to return back to the UK. I know people in Adelaide (who are friends) who cannot get back to Blighty because they cannot afford to, but are desperate to return to the UK. They too tried to encourage us to stay in Oz.

 

You are very fortunate to have sampled the Aussie life and be able to return to the UK and sample the UK lifestyle.....if you return back to Aus in 6 months, so what, it's not a major drama is it?


SUCH IS LIFE.

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Take no notice, different places can offer you different things at different times of your life. I have always said never say never but some people are a bit more fixed in their ideas about where they want to be....their opinion, not yours so dont worry about it... Many people live a very comfortable happy life in the UK, just as they do in Australia. Its another first world country with several attractions. Its about what suits your needs most. Enjoy!

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Good Luck with your move. Like everything people always have something to say. Don't know why everyone always has something to say about other people's decisions. As long as you feel it's right for you go for it xxx


 

Living in the UK... Hearts are in Australia...

IELTS: 23.01.16 ANMAC: 26.05.16 EOI: 27.06.16 Ahpra: 07.06.16 NSW Nomination: 10.06.16 Police Checks: 06.06.16 Medicals 11.06.16

Be kind to everyone... for everyone is fighting some sort of battle you know nothing about x

 

 

 

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I'm back in the uk now, and I mIss so many things about Australia , but I know if I lived there again I would miss so many things about the uk.

 

There are great things about both countries , it's just too bad people just can't try to understand things from your point of view.

 

good luck and enjoy the journey. England's so much nicer when you've been away from her for a while.

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I'm back in the uk now, and I mIss so many things about Australia , but I know if I lived there again I would miss so many things about the uk.

 

There are great things about both countries , it's just too bad people just can't try to understand things from your point of view.

 

good luck and enjoy the journey. England's so much nicer when you've been away from her for a while.

Good post Ghost, you've been awol a while?!

 

The highlighted bits i agree with..I think for ping pongers...it can often be a curse to have ever come here for the first highlighted reason.

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I don't think people need to try to understand your decision. It's none of their business it's your lives and your decision. So long as you and your family are happy with it that is all that matters. Good luck.

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Personally I think people can only rain on your parade if you let them ..its only ever people that matter to you that can really Influence your decision ..so I wouldnt bother about people just fo cus on those that matter

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