mikeandjayne Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 I'd just hit forty when we emigrated and the only big concern that I had about emigrating was that we wouldn't be able to establish a social network. Not that we were the most gregarious couple in the UK. A couple of other couples that we we're close to and that was about it, good friends from years back and well missed. We don't have children either so the social interaction around the whole school pick up thing was sort of out of the window. We did however push ourselves out of our comfort zone in so much that when we got our first rental we walked over to the neighbours on either side and introduced ourselves. While it may not seem like a hard thing to do, it was something we'd never done before. Everyone was polite, it was the week before Christmas and it was fantastic to recieve initiations over for drinks on both Christmas and Boxing Day evenings from different families. One of those families we are now lucky enough to call great friends, not Facebook friends, a great family that we have spent some great times with and shared some not so good times through supporting each other. We did also bring our Dog, and after walking him every day around the local wetlands we soon found that we knew lots of people to chat with, granted, to us they we're know for a long time as "Rovers Mam' or " the bloke with tattoos who owns Bonn" but nice folk. And one invitation to a BBQ led to us making another great set of friends. Maybe we have been lucky, but we have made some great friends. Still miss friends from the UK but in truth, it's those friends that drift into the Facebook friend category that the last response makes reference to. Our experience has been that the Aussies take you as they find you and we have found most of them to be decent and friendly people, every town, county, country has it's share of people that are less than friendly.......our experience.....there is nowhere easier than Australia to meet people....where you take that meeting is entirely up to you. good luck all and have a great Christmas. Mike H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 Don't recall another country where the topic of making friends or not was such a topic to converse on. While all is possible I certainly would not call Australians the most open of folk though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayuk Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 I think making (real) friends is always difficult, especially as we get older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunbury61 Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 Don't recall another country where the topic of making friends or not was such a topic to converse on. While all is possible I certainly would not call Australians the most open of folk though. never had an issue with aussie friendships ....its the one thing I really miss, my aussie mates ....hsd some ....tears of laughter , cant get my breath moments , too many to mention .....great times ...I will have to share one or two some time ....bloody funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramot Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 I think making (real) friends is always difficult, especially as we get older. Sorry but I have to laugh at the getting older and ask how old do you mean? We moved to Oz when my husband retired aged 60. Is that old? We have been here for 11 years now so even older! We had no family here at the time, oz was just somewhere we wanted to live for a while. We have made great friends, and have been made so welcome, and have never regretted it. I know it's not for everyone, and sympathise for those that it hasn't worked out for, but age isn't necessarily the problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 All the best mate , I know it's no easy ! And your so right about the big dream ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ptp113 Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 Most poms are just too uptight and struggle everywhere except back 'óme. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flathead Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 Most poms are just too uptight and struggle everywhere except back 'óme. Took you 11 posts to mention poms:laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 I think making (real) friends is always difficult, especially as we get older. Sorry but I don't agree, we tend to spot fake friends better as we get older and are more selective, so those friends we do meet tend to be genuine good ones. I think some people struggle to make friends full stop, but that's the person not the place and defo not their age! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbounds Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 I'm sorry to hear it hasn't worked out. We live in perth and we hadn't ever been here before, we just did research. We have no family here either and we made a decision that before we applied for pr that hubby would come out to oz on a WHV to look for work/rental etc. he did secure a job which I helped set up from the uk and the rental was down to research from me and he went to meet the landlords after I set it up. We then applied for pr and now we are all here enjoying the life we wanted. Like someone said, this "dream" is what the individual sees not what others make u believe. We know that australia is a first world country like the one we just left ( UK ) so we had no expectations that it would be of higher standard etc. hubby is earning a better living here, we hav spent so much more time together as a family, not even having to spend money. Hubby has gone back to work today. We are happy that our quality of life is better than uk but that's down to our choices. U need to be in the right place and have the right attitude. Hope things work out for you but don't give up too hastily, why not try your luck in Sydney? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 I think making (real) friends is always difficult, especially as we get older. The difficulty is ours and we have to decide, do we really want friends or acquaintances there is a big difference. Friends need watering like flowers otherwise friendship does not grow and a lot of people are one sided on it, saying oh I cannot make friends, but we have to ask ourselves why, what are we doing, waiting for invites or inviting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peccavi Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 Don't recall another country where the topic of making friends or not was such a topic to converse on. While all is possible I certainly would not call Australians the most open of folk though. I agree. And the fact that it routinely occurs is significant. Australians by their very (Western democracy) isolation, have learned to be self sufficient. They DO have a lifestyle of cliques. That is not a criticism, it was an observation of over three decades. It is harder to make friends in Australia. Yet again there is the need to suggest it is the fault of those finding difficulty in establishing friendships. That might be true in some cases, but I suggest in most, it is not. This would not be repeatedly raised if it wasn't an issue. How often is it raised in the UK? As I said, Australians have learned to be self sufficient. Form your own friendships with like minded people, even if they are other 'Poms'! If you develop friendships over the years with your general neighbourhood, then all well and good. It IS an issue. It is repeatedly raised. More than being distressed by it, people should accept that Australia is not the UK, it has its own customs, and its own nature. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 I agree. And the fact that it routinely occurs is significant. Australians by their very (Western democracy) isolation, have learned to be self sufficient. They DO have a lifestyle of cliques. That is not a criticism, it was an observation of over three decades. It is harder to make friends in Australia. Yet again there is the need to suggest it is the fault of those finding difficulty in establishing friendships. That might be true in some cases, but I suggest in most, it is not. This would not be repeatedly raised if it wasn't an issue. How often is it raised in the UK? As I said, Australians have learned to be self sufficient. Form your own friendships with like minded people, even if they are other 'Poms'! If you develop friendships over the years with your general neighbourhood, then all well and good. It IS an issue. It is repeatedly raised. More than being distressed by it, people should accept that Australia is not the UK, it has its own customs, and its own nature. It is an issue which I imagine is a determining factor in a number of cases in why folk move on. I have known a number return over the years to various countries many without confirming a single reason, but putting various past comments together, I would hazard the reasons being a mix of how social relations are or as the case my be not conducted in Australia along with future pension and health system considerations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynchoid Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Hi, I'm in a similar position to Fryertuck (and I know Mr Fryer well). He's gone back but my wife and I agree about Sydney. However do you need to be there to get a job or is it still possible to talk to people from where we are (Brisbane) with a view to moving there? Cheers Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jen85 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Hi, I'm in a similar position to Fryertuck (and I know Mr Fryer well). He's gone back but my wife and I agree about Sydney. However do you need to be there to get a job or is it still possible to talk to people from where we are (Brisbane) with a view to moving there? Cheers Steve Maybe do a recon visit to check out the job situation for your industry first, you will have to be there to do interviews etc but its worth researching to make sure you will be better off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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