Do I quit my job?

[travelchic]

Maybe she feels intimidated by your work. Ask her does she want to go for a drink one night after work. Clear the air. And if she bites your head off, ask her for it back when she's finished.

 

Debs

[nicolac34]

Ah ok. I don't know much about regional visas, evidently! It still shouldn't mean that she gets thrown out of the country if she loses her job over addressing this issue, and it should still be grounds for constructive dismissal if they did sack her because of this. Companies can't get away with behaving like this, not without legal ramifications. Perhaps she could speak to the immigration officials and explain her predicament to see what they advise, then?

 

They can't/shouldn't but often do.

 

Quite a few people have been in similar situations, and unfortunately immigration cannot/refuse help. In all instances where someone has contacted them for advice (that has been mentioned on this forum) they've just given the usual spiel "if you leave your employer you could have your visa cancelled". Other advice has been to contact a migration agent - I did that one - and I got the migration act quoted back at me.

 

There was a guy a while back that tried to do everything by the book and was at his whits end. He contacted immigration, who didn't have a clue, contact immigration lawyers who also didn't know what to suggest. He ended up writing to DIAC explaining the situation and informing them that he was leaving his employer but would be still working within a regional area. They did investigate him a while later, but as far as I know, and he has been back to update a couple of times, they were satisfied with that.

[nicolac34]

Found his thread:

 

http://www.pomsinoz.com/forum/migration-issues/151926-857-visa-my-experience-those-thinking-leaving-before-two-years.html

[Levi]

Okay, a day has passed and after thinking it over - and reading the other comments - spiking the drink does seem like a bad idea. Don't do it ljinoz.

How was your Monday?

If this person just broke up with someone then it could be one of the reasons why she is acting this way. Do have a talk with your partner, in my experience talking helps a lot.

 

Don't leave the job. You have to be mentally tough, be professional at the workplace and at the end of the day go home and relax. Fingers crossed for you.

[ljinoz]

No different I'm afraid and even if I do have a day where she backs off a bit I know it's only temporary. Her relationship has only just come to an end so I don't think this is the reason although it could be making her worse. I don't even feel like I have the energy for it anymore. I'm going home at Christmas so I am focusing on this at the moment (or trying to). It's also comforting to think that by Christmas 2015 I'll be planning my escape - if I manage to hold out that long. I am also going to try and continue being professional myself as hard as it may feel at the moment.

[Chortlepuss]

I am so sorry for you. I found myself in a similar situation a couple of years ago - our manager was extremely unpleasant (passive aggressive) and on great terms with her boss who was a personal friend and excused her incompetence. My manager singled me out for special treatment, although at least I did have the reassurance that the whole of the project team thought she was a poor manager and a horrid person as well. I toughed it out (jobs in my area are hard to find) but at the expense of my mental health. I am thought of as pretty tough and assertive, but it still got to me and I was so pleased to leave her and her toxic manner behind. My boss was single and pretty unattractive (personality wise) and bitter with life I think. She claimed a lot of my work as hers which pretty much shows a poor manager. She took great pleasure when team members were in difficulty (one person had a particularly dodgy pregnancy) and was an awful gossip. Sounds like yours is similar. I did find that messing with her mind helped a little - being randomly nice/offhand and for personal pleasure I used to greet everyone else in the team really warmly and ignore her apart from a minimum level of politeness. She kept drilling me for personal details and towards the end I did managed to say 'These things are confidential and I know you struggle to keep things to yourself so I'm not going to share information with you' She bunked off a lot/rang in sick - each day she didn't come in was a blessing. I was always praying it was nothing trivial but she seemed to bounce back. I'm not one to wish bad things on people, but I'd have done anything for a functional voodoo doll and a box of pins!!

 

Try to bond with other team members - there is safety in numbers, and remember it's not for ever - Hang on in there, you'll soon be out! ... and if you make the voodoo doll, keep it at home!

[Peccavi]

I am so sorry for you. I found myself in a similar situation a couple of years ago - our manager was extremely unpleasant (passive aggressive) and on great terms with her boss who was a personal friend and excused her incompetence. My manager singled me out for special treatment, although at least I did have the reassurance that the whole of the project team thought she was a poor manager and a horrid person as well. I toughed it out (jobs in my area are hard to find) but at the expense of my mental health. I am thought of as pretty tough and assertive, but it still got to me and I was so pleased to leave her and her toxic manner behind. My boss was single and pretty unattractive (personality wise) and bitter with life I think. She claimed a lot of my work as hers which pretty much shows a poor manager. She took great pleasure when team members were in difficulty (one person had a particularly dodgy pregnancy) and was an awful gossip. Sounds like yours is similar. I did find that messing with her mind helped a little - being randomly nice/offhand and for personal pleasure I used to greet everyone else in the team really warmly and ignore her apart from a minimum level of politeness. She kept drilling me for personal details and towards the end I did managed to say 'These things are confidential and I know you struggle to keep things to yourself so I'm not going to share information with you' She bunked off a lot/rang in sick - each day she didn't come in was a blessing. I was always praying it was nothing trivial but she seemed to bounce back. I'm not one to wish bad things on people, but I'd have done anything for a functional voodoo doll and a box of pins!!

 

Try to bond with other team members - there is safety in numbers, and remember it's not for ever - Hang on in there, you'll soon be out! ... and if you make the voodoo doll, keep it at home!

 

 

This is good advice.

 

Keep your chin up OP.:smile:

[jen85]

She sounds like a right B*#!@, sounds like you might need to stand up to her shes probably taking advantage because she knows your on a visa. Approach your boss about the situation and make sure you have proof (keep your scribbled paper and record any conversations if possible). The employer can't ignore bullying otherwise they will have immense issues. Good luck!

[Rupert]

Why do people always assume it is a visa issue? I would not have a clue what visa my colleagues are on and nor do I care. In fact I even inherited a team member on a 457 but I didn't even know that for a year and she reported to me! The holds of 457 visas do not have it tattooed on their forehead. This is most probably a personality or bullying issue, no need to assume it is a visa issue or that 457 visa holders can expect people to be mean to them.

[Australia Trade Connect]

In all of the jobs I worked in I always got on with the people. I started a new job in the bank when I first arrived in Australia and one of the older women was terrible. I would hear her talking about me and there was nothing I could do or say that would please her. I decided after a few weeks to confront her and ask her if I was doing something wrong. She said no and all of a sudden she started including me in her conversations. She eventually became a friend and I realised that she had worked in the same job for over 20 years and someone young and new starting intimidated her. She did the same every time we had a new staff member but I told them all to ignore her and after a few weeks she would come round which she always did. You can't always change someone else's behaviour but you can change the way you react to that behaviour. I would suggest you don't try to make her like you and you just get on with the job and show her she doesn't bother you but if she does snap or throw stuff at you I would take notes and ensure that you answer her politely but firmly. She isn't worth losing your visa over and she probably is a bit jealous of you especially if you are well liked.

[ljinoz]

Thanks everyone for your advice. Things were a little better towards the end of last week and I didn't dread coming into work this morning. I think I'm just going to have to keep as positive as I can and count down the weeks, days and hours.

[nicolac34]

Thanks everyone for your advice. Things were a little better towards the end of last week and I didn't dread coming into work this morning. I think I'm just going to have to keep as positive as I can and count down the weeks, days and hours.

 

That's good. And who knows, you may get to a point where you aren't counting down the hours - might just be months instead :biggrin:

[AJ]

 

Thanks everyone for your advice. Things were a little better towards the end of last week and I didn't dread coming into work this morning. I think I'm just going to have to keep as positive as I can and count down the weeks, days and hours.

Thats good, she is probably bored of giving you sh*t now and will move on to some other poor soul.

[ljinoz]

Well she has reverted back to being a b*tch again. I think I had 4 days in total of her being bearable. By this she still snaps, snatches things, doesn't say please or thank you but at least is leaving me alone. Then this afternoon she had an outburst yelling at me from across the office for a mistake I made and telling me how I had to fix it now. Just to put it into context the mistake didn't cause any loss or damage to the company or her reputation and it was simply the wrong box I checked on a form that she was then checking over anyway because of something I hadn't been told. I tried to be professional and say goodbye when I left the office and she ignored me. I honestly am at breaking point. This job is interfering with my private life so much. I don't really phone in sick but I'm considering it tomorrow as I don't think I can take her talking to me like this anymore.

[flag of convenience]

Well she has reverted back to being a b*tch again. I think I had 4 days in total of her being bearable. By this she still snaps, snatches things, doesn't say please or thank you but at least is leaving me alone. Then this afternoon she had an outburst yelling at me from across the office for a mistake I made and telling me how I had to fix it now. Just to put it into context the mistake didn't cause any loss or damage to the company or her reputation and it was simply the wrong box I checked on a form that she was then checking over anyway because of something I hadn't been told. I tried to be professional and say goodbye when I left the office and she ignored me. I honestly am at breaking point. This job is interfering with my private life so much. I don't really phone in sick but I'm considering it tomorrow as I don't think I can take her talking to me like this anymore.

 

Do you feel able to discuss the issue on hand with a witness present? It's a very hard call but something needs to be done. You could call in sick but she 'll likely be aware she's getting to you. Psychopaths become even more brazen when they get a sniff they're on top. I go for the confrontational approach I suppose,(in saying you want to address issues on hand) but sure it's not for everyone. I'd be scared I'd snap if I allowed the drip, drip approach and would really be out of a job.

[Diane]

This sounds like a classic case of workplace bullying. If I were you I'd

 

(a) book a doctors appointment and talk to a doctor about this - it is obviously close to affecting your mental health. Perhaps print off your first post from this thread and take it with you if you don't feel confident that you would talk about it easily.

 

http://www.hcamag.com/opinion/the-new-workplace-bullying-laws-what-they-mean-for-you-177608.aspx

(b) Get your doctor to sign you off for a day or two, and while you're off ring the Fair Work Commission and talk with them. There are some major laws in Australia coming in against workplace bullying see this article.

 

They should be able to give you guidance on what you should do next. My thought is they will suggest you speak to someone higher up in the company as if a company allows bullying it can have serious consequences for them.

 

Find out your rights, look after yourself, and don't let it make you ill.

 

I found this as well: http://www.stopbullyingsa.com.au/documents/bullying_employees.pdf The visa you are on has no bearing to your rights at all in this case, like anyone here in Australia, you have a right to work in a safe environment, and if, as it seems, this woman's behaviour is having effects on your mental and emotional health, that's not 'safe'

Edited October 24, 2013 by Diane

[ljinoz]

I don't feel like I can do. There is only one other co-worker in the office and even though I'm sure she has had her fair share of it too (strangely I think she's been ignoring her for the start of the week and not saying good morning to her) I don't think she would get involved and if I did start confronting the woman she might just walk away. I feel now though like it is going to get too much one day and I'm going to snap and lose my temper or get upset in the office. Also I know this question has been asked on here already but does anybody know for sure if I have to work for the employer for 2 years from the date my visa was granted or just 2 years ... I ask this as I worked for them on a working holiday visa first so have clocked up more time if I include the months before my 187 was granted. I have checked the wording of my visa letter and it says:

"Your visa may be cancelled if you do not comply with these obligations to complete the two (2) year contract with the employer."

 

[nicolac34]

It's two years from the date of grant of the visa I'm afraid. If you could count on the time working for a company on a WHV I'd be free now, but I've still another 6 months to go.

 

Hang in there xx

[Peccavi]

Hello,

 

You need to take note of Diane's post. This situation is becoming critical. You need to call a 'time out' in order to decide what to do.

The best way to do this is officially= medically. You need a few days/week off. It will have the benefit of your employer receiving a medical certificate about 'stress'. They must then look at what is causing it. That certificate should go to senior management, not her, but even if it does, I think she would be very foolish to then make things worse for you, she will ultimately held accountable for that when there was clear evidence of your stress.

 

I think this has gone beyond confronting this person-and to confront her in front of others will exacerbate the situation-because you have 'shown her up'.

 

I am very sorry that this is happening to you. It is no comfort I know, but this situation is increasingly common. The visa system makes you 'indentured' so you are having to put up with it.

 

Be as strong as you can. You are not dealing with someone who is getting frustrated with your poor performance; you are dealing with a nasty incompetent human being. The fault is hers.

 

You must take a break.

[ljinoz]

Thanks for the further advice. My main concern is that if I approach management about this she will either say she hasn't done anything or accuse me of being too sensitive. I don't even know if I have any concrete evidence as its just her yelling at me and its always her mannerisms and tone of voice rather than what she actually says (most of the time anyway). My partner has told me to take some sick leave. I have just ignored her today, I know I should probably have been a bigger person and greeted her and tried to put yesterday behind me but I just can't bring myself to do it. I was listening to how she speaks to the other staff member too and its similar. We were talking about something and she yelled at her from her office to get her a form (no please or thank you when she brought the form to her either). I want to go to the doctors, I want to stand up for myself and I want to report her but I'm just too scared to initiate this and for the consequences it may bring.

[nicolac34]

It is scary, but on the other hand if you don't initiate something if it comes to a head and you quit you need some kind of evidence that you tried to make it workable.

 

You don't need evidence of what she's doing, how you feel is enough. She can deny it until the cows come home, makes no difference, you've still had it formally noted that you are not happy with her behavior towards you. I would go to your boss and just simply say you are not happy and finding coming to work each day a real challenge. You can then describe her behavior towards you and others, it really doesn't matter if she tells them that you are too 'sensitive', you have made your boss aware of the situation. If nothing happens then at least you can show that you went and made them aware of what was happening. All vital if you get investigated by DIAC further down the line. And DIAC are there to investigate people who have obtained their visa fraudulently, not people to did so genuinely but then couldn't see out their employment for whatever reason.

 

Can't remember if you said, but how long since you're visa was granted?

[BrownEyedGal]

YOU need to take the power back. You are armed with brilliant information from those here. I strongly agree with Diane. This is workplace bullying at its worse form. I cannot stand to see you suffer. You must take the time off sick with stress, Use that time to rest, gather and read up on the information provided here.

 

When you do go back to work, do not have any private one-to-one conversations as these will indeed get distorted. Continue to document how you feel, time date and location. Again I state re-read the opinions here. They will give you more strength and this is a safe place to say how you feel.

 

You do not have to be pleasant any more than you would normally. So if a similar incident happens where she is yelling, just very calmly state you can hear perfectly well. For some of these situations where you are scared you should practice at home what you want to say and how you say it and keep practicing. It will help you enormously.

 

Do not give this woman power - If this situation was happening at home we would call it Domestic Violence.