dazeybear Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Hi guys, I will probably get told I am mad for even saying this, I have only been here 6 weeks and really feel unsettled, hubby thinks it's great and it could be the happy ever after we were looking for to complete our lifestyle, kids are 50, 50, (some likes, some dislikes) I on the other hand just don't feel right, I am worried all the time, the usual, Can't sleep etc, the cost of living here seems so expensive, Not a shock to us as we did research in the UK but clearly not enough, we were of the opinion some things will be more expensive than others but it should work out, but we obviously didn't look at the bigger picture, we based our findings on earning the same money if not more than in the UK, but didn't bank on everything being so much more expensive and needing to earn about 25% more than the UK to break even, before we came it was said you will get a job no problem (hubby is an IT Manager) now we are here, we are being told hmmm really bad time for you to be starting out here, first it was no one is doing anything because of the election, now that is over it's yeah the market is unsettled and everyone is worried about the economy so not much turnover in the Job market,he has applied for some 50 odd jobs, getting an interview for one which is incredibly low wage and only half what we were on in the UK, but he has no choice as beggars can't be choosers. We have been told that if he doesn't get a job by Christmas he can kiss it goodbye until February as not much happens as Oz shuts down during this time, We are storming through our savings from the sale of our UK home and we aren't doing anything, believe me because of the cost of everything... we are shopping wisely going through the magazines and shopping in Aldi etc. My question is does anyone else feel the same? how did you cope? how long do you fight it for before you say enough is enough and go home? I feel such a failure and can't believe the extent we went to, to get here,we didn't look at it lightly because of the cost, the emotion of leaving friends and family, the good jobs that we gave up, etc etc, but I just feel like if only I could turn back the clock I would. Many thanks for taking the time and reading this. Dazeybear Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolvesaussie Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Chin up its still early days, cant be easy with kids and no money coming in, but 6 weeks really is no time at all... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k8bug79 Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Hi guys, I will probably get told I am mad for even saying this, I have only been here 6 weeks and really feel unsettled, hubby thinks it's great and it could be the happy ever after we were looking for to complete our lifestyle, kids are 50, 50, (some likes, some dislikes) I on the other hand just don't feel right, I am worried all the time, the usual, Can't sleep etc, the cost of living here seems so expensive, Not a shock to us as we did research in the UK but clearly not enough, we were of the opinion some things will be more expensive than others but it should work out, but we obviously didn't look at the bigger picture, we based our findings on earning the same money if not more than in the UK, but didn't bank on everything being so much more expensive and needing to earn about 25% more than the UK to break even, before we came it was said you will get a job no problem (hubby is an IT Manager) now we are here, we are being told hmmm really bad time for you to be starting out here, first it was no one is doing anything because of the election, now that is over it's yeah the market is unsettled and everyone is worried about the economy so not much turnover in the Job market,he has applied for some 50 odd jobs, getting an interview for one which is incredibly low wage and only half what we were on in the UK, but he has no choice as beggars can't be choosers. We have been told that if he doesn't get a job by Christmas he can kiss it goodbye until February as not much happens as Oz shuts down during this time, We are storming through our savings from the sale of our UK home and we aren't doing anything, believe me because of the cost of everything... we are shopping wisely going through the magazines and shopping in Aldi etc. My question is does anyone else feel the same? how did you cope? how long do you fight it for before you say enough is enough and go home? I feel such a failure and can't believe the extent we went to, to get here,we didn't look at it lightly because of the cost, the emotion of leaving friends and family, the good jobs that we gave up, etc etc, but I just feel like if only I could turn back the clock I would. Many thanks for taking the time and reading this. Dazeybear I think it's still so early and natural to feel the way you do. We are about the same stage as you. I've been in Sydney 4 weeks hubby been here 8 weeks. He has got 2 low waged cafe jobs (he's a chef) although that is his/our choice as we wanted days rather than nights weekends. But they are certainly paying less than we would have hoped for him. We have a 4 year old who need sto go to childcare but we can't afford that until our family assistance kicks in and I am the one who needs to find the job to pay most of the wage and yet I am now left with no help to go to interviews etc so in a bit of a catch 22. Which feels scary. We are down to our last few hundreds but with only food to buy which is good. This is definitely the lull after the whirlwind of the first few weeks and even though I love it here and everything it offers us I am definitely starting to feel it. I knew this would come so I am riding it out- I def think it's too soon to think to head back. It is expensive here but only when you convert *** pounds and at the moment yu only have pounds to spend. The way we look at it is hours spent working to earn it vs Uk hours. When you look at it like that things actually become a lot cheaper. When you are earning $ it will feel better. Where are you living? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xenon4017 Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Obviously not having found a job is going to play on your mind. And of course there are heaps of bureaucracy to contend with in the first weeks. It takes a while before you can get your breath back. But, we're coming into spring which is the best time for outdoors living in my opinion. I guess I'd say review the situation when you've been here 3 months. Your kids schooling will have settled down, and it'll be more apparent whether the work situation will pan out or not. 6 weeks is a bit early to reach a conclusion to knock it on the head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Sounds like the problem is the British pound rather than Australia. It's horrible how weak it is as you burn through it when you aren't getting paid dollars. You could feel totally different when you don't have the worries of spending all your savings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Yes I felt unsettled, not to the point of wanting to return home but to the point of questioning if we had done the right thing. It is early days and I always think if you still feel the same in 6 months then it isn't going to change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Well, I always knew it wasn't the place I wanted to grow old and die in but I was happy enough living there until the next better opportunity came along. It sounds like you've burned all your bridges - don't suppose you took a career break from something in UK that you could go back to if work doesn't show up there? 6 weeks is just a holiday really and finding work in Aus can take 3-6 months so hopefully you have enough to live on for that period. Things will probably start to look better when you find work and that stress is lifted but you do need to draw a line in the sand where you make a decision about where your best opportunity lies. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eng32 Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 I remember how sick to my stomach I felt in the early days and in the first 6 months. It took Hubby 5 weeks to get a job then 3 months trial period! I was very stressed through this settling in time. I totally sympathise with you and can only say that it does for the most part get easier with time and when your Husband finds work..which he will..... Try to keep your chin up :hug: Best of luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 I remember I felt like a fish out of water those early days, not unhappy, just a fish out of water. There was a notable turning point for me, it was three weeks in, finally stopped raining, we viewed a house we liked (a rental) and then went to a nearby beach side café to talk about it and I thought, ok this is it. Went on to get the house and that really settled us down. Picking up the pets the following week was also very settling. You need something to settle you down, I suspect it will be the job when it comes. And it will come, but certainly job market is competitive and has been for a while now. So six weeks is not too bad. Hang in there, this was a long time coming for you going off the timeline. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul1977 Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 After 6 months I hated it.. Nearly 2 years later it ain't changed, been lucky with work .. That's why I've stayed. If I didn't have my job I would of been on the first plane out of here. Hope your situation improves Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bromney Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 I'm an IT project manager myself and there appears to be lots of opportunities, what are your hubby's specific skills? It will take time to settle anywhere new, don't panic and don't do anything in a rush. You say you're not doing anything leisure wise as it costs money but it doesnt have to cost money. There are some great beaches, walks and the likes. If you dont get out from time to time you'll only stress more and miss out on exploring some of yiur surroundings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pob Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 I've been here four weeks. I'm in Sydney, working as a chef in a café type place. I hope to retrain as a welder here. But it's cooking for now, keeping my mouth shut and smileing, cooking what they say and how they say. When you look at what you get paid per week, it kind of equals out ok. Well rents still a bit steep. But I have to keep telling myself not to convert to pounds or I will be having a fit. $24 for six beers! Don't even get me started... One of you will get a job and it will get better. You just have to wait. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KazzE Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Ah I do feel for you it must be so hard with young children and very little support. try to separate the stresses about getting a job from how you feel about being here. I know not it will not be easy. remember why you made this move, what made you excited? I don't know about Sydney but Melbourne has lots of things to do for free or very little money, pack a picnic and go exploring your new city. I think that what you are feeling is very normal for new immigrants. You feel out of place, every thing is unfamiliar, similar but different, simple errands can take an age because you don't know where to go or what to look for. This will get better in time. getting a job will definitely take the pressure off and help you start to settle, as will getting the children into child are and a routine. maybe try and meet up with other expat mums, talking to someone who knows what you have gone through would help I am sure. Check out your local council, there will be play groups and other activities for kids that will be free or low cost. Wish I could give you a big hug and some practical help. Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xenon4017 Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 $24 for six beers! 4$ a beer doesn't sound too bad. Unless they're served in wine glasses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazeybear Posted October 1, 2013 Author Share Posted October 1, 2013 Thanks guys, just nice to know we are not alone, we are up north at the moment in Rutherford but will hopefully be down on the Central Coast in Umina in the next couple of weeks, maybe then we can start to explore what is around us. Looking at more Rentals this week, hopefully hubby will get this job tomorrow. Thanks again really appreciated Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AaronS Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 I'm probably the king of flip flopping and then flopping again. Sold everything and moved here.....got depressed....six months later moved back to the US and bought a house.....hated it there....sold the house and moved back to Oz. Been back for 10 months now and love it. You have to give it time. A job will help get you into a social life...or some kind of groups. You absolutely have to do one of those to start getting people into your life. We'll never go back to the US at this point. Australia is home now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazeybear Posted October 1, 2013 Author Share Posted October 1, 2013 Bromney, My husband can be an IT Manager, Business Analyst or SQL DBA as his role was all of these rolled into one in the UK. His problem is that he is a jack of all trades but not specialised in anything, and a lot of the roles require focus on one particular skill or experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Bromney, My husband can be an IT Manager, Business Analyst or SQL DBA as his role was all of these rolled into one in the UK. His problem is that he is a jack of all trades but not specialised in anything, and a lot of the roles require focus on one particular skill or experience. Have you got a PR visa? If so what skill was he assessed on? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 You're certainly not a failure so don't go spending too much time with that thought. If you read the boards you'll find it's not an unusual feeling, for some it gets better and they start to settle for others they make the decision to return. Usually, jobs etc., help that process along because it gives a purpose, routine and a sense of belonging to something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattster155 Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Ah I feel for you, I felt the same as you. We've been here 5 months now and things do get better. My husband is an accountant and is earning less than he did in the UK despite being told he could earn more by all the agencies, it took a while for him to get a job too. My children are 13 and 10 and both regularly get home sick and miss their friends and schools. Luckily I have met some amazing friends that helped me through the hard times when I felt so homesick. I find that it is expensive especially when your earning less than you did in the UK and living on your savings. I wonder sometimes if we've committed financial suicide doing this. I take each day at a time as I tend to feel overwhelmed if I think long term. I don't think I've ever cried so much as I did in the first 2 months so I sympathise with you but stick with it and look forward big back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolvesaussie Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 dont give up, I was in a simular position, my old job I was a project manager / dba / web designer/ VB.NET programer/ reporting analyst/ 3rd line IT support. Had my hand in lots of pies but felt maybe not an expert in one thing. I got a job now as a SQl DBA / Developer in Melbourne. I think the jobs are out there, its just u might be a little unrealistic in your time frame, it might take 3-6 months to find something, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perthbum Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 (edited) If you can't find work that's the biggest problem. Edited October 1, 2013 by Perthbum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billington22 Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 I'm 3 years in and still feel unsettled. But when I think back to those early days I do realise how far we've come. I spent the first 6 months constantly crying & researching the cost of flights back home. I even emailed my old boss asking for my old job back!! Even now whenever I hear the Wayballoo theme tune (children's program that seemed to be on TV all the time when we first moved!) it sends me straight back to those early days!! *shiver* 3 years on and a 5 week visit home later I am still undecided. My husband eventually found a decent job but I've been on constant contracts since we arrived. We still live in rented accommodation and are currently having the discussion about whether to buy. (I'm not sure this is forever so am dragging my heels a little!) You are right about the cost of living! Food shopping is so expensive! I couldn't get over the cost of basics like milk and bread when we first arrived. My advice would be to stick it out for a couple of years and see how things progress. In that time you'll hopefully find decent work & settle a bit more. If you don't at least you will have given it a good go. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johndoe Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 But I have to keep telling myself not to convert to pounds or I will be having a fit. $24 for six beers! Don't even get me started... Let's face it, that's your own fault for buying in 6's................a slab of 24 would likely more than half the overall price Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 More and more I read posts and realise there is a lot of luck involved when you emigrate. Your job, who you meet, where you find a place to live. Your attitude is important of course but some people seem to have such bad luck- no wonder they hanker for life back where they have felt comfortable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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