how long did you last in oz before moving back

[Tina2]

Its not drivel Thistle, its what an excellent site like this is for, many people on here Uk, or Oz have the same feelings as you and wonder if they are the only ones who have those feelings, comforting in a way to know that others feel exactly the same way. I bet you feel much better having posted now, and you have plan, home will always be home wherever you are living.

 

my o/h just had the dreaded call from the uk to say her bro 55 has died. she feels so helpless at the moment, and I feel a little guilty as I was the one who wanted to come here, she moved here in the 60s as ten pound pom child, moved back 20 years later and considered uk as home. My younger son is moving back soon as he can and my eldest married here with kids. its at times like this I too wish I had never heard of Oz but ...both countries have been good to me.

 

I have put it off but will start to look at booking a visit the UK after xmas mainly for their sake.

I find this age grouping interesting. We have all lived our lives as you do for your children and are here in OZ for various reasons but as we get older it seems the pull to "go home' gets stronger. As I discussed in a different thread we are tied as our daughter is involved in an horrendous family court battle and sadly due to the other sides financial states it is looking like it will end very badly for our side. If that happens and our daughter looses custody then things may well change and we may then feel we can return to the UK with our daughter and hopefully be allowed to bring the grandchildren home to the UK for holidays. That aside I have to admit the longing to go home gets stronger every day. This site is a God Send, I feel connected to people who in so many ways are like me and very different to Aussies. I so miss the culture, sense of humour, being able to walk to the local shops or catch decent transport. Fields that are "green" rather than a never ending sea of brown. Oh dear this is getting depressing LOL. Enjoy your weekend every one.

[Quoll]

I think there are loads of us "oldies" out there! I agree with so much that has been said here by those who, like me, have served their time in Aus - I'm sure we all enjoyed the place at some point and had fun on the adventure but the impact on us and our families has been profound! As Thistles said - I really didnt like the me I had become in Aus either - miserable, apathetic, unfulfilled even though I was still getting up every day and plastering on the happy face to go to work. I didn't realise just how bad that was until I got my life back 2 years ago today!!!

 

Like others, we too have a small family, split down the middle - one son came to UK for a post uni gap year - 11 yrs ago! He won't be returning any time soon! The other son is tied to Aus by a partner who can't bear to leave her mum and has not one skerrick of adventure in her and their two girls. I don't even feel guilt at moving away from the grand kids although the DiL tries to make me feel a lot (maybe I'd feel more if I weren't quite as resentful at having been "used" by her while we were there!

 

Sometimes I do quite envy those who have their extended family within easy reach - it makes for a nice secure, if mundane, life. I've been selfish and self sufficient all my life living in a foreign country and that does get old after a while!

 

Tina - I hope you can get through the horrid court process with your daughter and hope hat the outcome does work OK for you all! Removal from Aus jurisdiction can be an absolute nightmare!!!

Edited August 31, 2013 by Quoll

[Thistle13]

Its not drivel Thistle, its what an excellent site like this is for, many people on here Uk, or Oz have the same feelings as you and wonder if they are the only ones who have those feelings, comforting in a way to know that others feel exactly the same way. I bet you feel much better having posted now, and you have plan, home will always be home wherever you are living.

 

my o/h just had the dreaded call from the uk to say her bro 55 has died. she feels so helpless at the moment, and I feel a little guilty as I was the one who wanted to come here, she moved here in the 60s as ten pound pom child, moved back 20 years later and considered uk as home. My younger son is moving back soon as he can and my eldest married here with kids. its at times like this I too wish I had never heard of Oz but ...both countries have been good to me.

 

I have put it off but will start to look at booking a visit the UK after xmas mainly for their sake.

 

 

thanks for your kind word Legoman. It IS comforting in one way to know that there are others who feel the same, but in another way its sad. i can relate to that dreaded phone call. i feel for you and your other half. my son sent a distressing message and disappeared. for 24 frantic hours i felt helpless in Australia. the police turning up on my mums door was both relief and fear and that is the longest journey i never want to make again, not knowing (in transit) whether my son woud be alive or at best lose one or both legs. i dont want to gross anyone out, but my point is, i faced fear like no other id ever faced, and suddenly realised that life is soooooo short you hav to try and seek contentment and happiness with the little time u have. australia has been good to me, but it no longer has what i NEED.

[Thistle13]

I find this age grouping interesting. We have all lived our lives as you do for your children and are here in OZ for various reasons but as we get older it seems the pull to "go home' gets stronger. As I discussed in a different thread we are tied as our daughter is involved in an horrendous family court battle and sadly due to the other sides financial states it is looking like it will end very badly for our side. If that happens and our daughter looses custody then things may well change and we may then feel we can return to the UK with our daughter and hopefully be allowed to bring the grandchildren home to the UK for holidays. That aside I have to admit the longing to go home gets stronger every day. This site is a God Send, I feel connected to people who in so many ways are like me and very different to Aussies. I so miss the culture, sense of humour, being able to walk to the local shops or catch decent transport. Fields that are "green" rather than a never ending sea of brown. Oh dear this is getting depressing LOL. Enjoy your weekend every one.

 

 

Hope it all works out for your daughter Tina2, and you're right, this forum is great for sharing or just venting. Keep us updated x

[Tina2]

Thistle 13 and Quoll, cant go into it to much here but last week was the court ordered meeting with the "court reporter" ($4000) she interviewed parties involved including a 4 year old child in a room on her own with a strange woman she has never seen before ! ! and by the end of the day the woman makes a decision and a recommendation for the courts as to who will get the kids. No home visits nothing just based on what she saw and heard on one day. We have been to hell and back in the last 2 years since the break up and everyday it gets worse. Cost so far $120,000 and trust me we are fast running out of cash unlike the other side. The Family Court in Australia reminds me of the gastapo ! Devoid of feelings. Anyway all we can do is pray.

Yes there have been good times in Aus we all have those but as I said as you get older you realize all you really miss about the UK, for us we see Aus as - if you are not into fishing, surfing, boating and other water sports there really is not a whole lot to do and if there is something to do is soooooooooo far away. For all those who "escaped" and made it back to the UK "enjoy"

[Britpop]

we live in quite a poor socio-economic area in the midlands and we do worry about their eduction and prospects and also socially growing up, I know there are no certainties with regards to peer groups etc. I have family in Aus, my sister has been out there for about 15 yrs, had a short period of a couple of years back in the uk two or three years back and returned to Aus vowing not to come back, we visited this year, she thinks the lifestyle is better, it is better for families and ESP for children. We loved our holiday, and that is what it was, but it gave me a real yearning to move out. The outdoor lifestyle, the weather, maybe more family orientated and maybe a safer place for the kids - maybe?

you don't need to go all the way to Aus for this. I live in a place where you don't even lock your doors, have woodland on the doorstep, beaches an hr or so away, great schools , out door space, amazing community, low crime.....ok the weather we don't have but Devon for instance has a totally different climate to the Midlands.

Dont get me wrong, I'm not against moving to Aus but I don't understand why a lot of people (& I'm not saying you do) seem to see it as a choice of where they are now or go all the way to Australia. You could get that quality of life By relocating within The UK to a large extent?

The cost of a home may be more but cheaper than Aus still and the money that one spends in the visa and relocation process, it balances to a degree.

[VERYSTORMY]

you don't need to go all the way to Aus for this. I live in a place where you don't even lock your doors, have woodland on the doorstep, beaches an hr or so away, great schools , out door space, amazing community, low crime.....ok the weather we don't have but Devon for instance has a totally different climate to the Midlands.

Dont get me wrong, I'm not against moving to Aus but I don't understand why a lot of people (& I'm not saying you do) seem to see it as a choice of where they are now or go all the way to Australia. You could get that quality of life By relocating within The UK to a large extent?

The cost of a home may be more but cheaper than Aus still and the money that one spends in the visa and relocation process, it balances to a degree.

 

Agree, and given the cost of housing now in Oz, if you can not afford to relocate to a better place in the UK your going to find yourself in a pretty undesirable area in Oz.

 

I dont think Oz offers kids any more advantage than the UK - both countries produce good kids who go off to Uni and get good jobs.

[legoman]

Agree, and given the cost of housing now in Oz, if you can not afford to relocate to a better place in the UK your going to find yourself in a pretty undesirable area in Oz.

 

I dont think Oz offers kids any more advantage than the UK - both countries produce good kids who go off to Uni and get good jobs.

 

 

 

 

 

I can understand Arbrodin desire to come here though. They have a sister who loves Aus and has done well so I think its natural

to want the same.

 

My only concerns are the difference from when I first arrived ten years ago to now, Expensive place to live, Obesity being the biggest problem

now rather than smoking etc. The lucky country isnt that lucky anymore,I also believe the childs education is not better here, my son joins the RAN next month passed all exams etc and he was educated in the UK. But unless you come here and give it a go you will never know, many love it here and are successful, many back in the UK I know have had no inclination to even visit Oz and are successful back in the UK.

 

Give it a go Arbrodin you already know what the UK is like so see if Oz can be better.

[Thistle13]

I know it hasn't been long but financially we would be better off in the UK, I'm having to work full time here and not liking that as we have 2 little girls. I don't have to work in UK as cost of living is a lot less. I hope we don't regret it but I have been in the UK the last 6 years and it actually feels more like home to me than Aus. Plus hubby is not really enjoying it here. He only moved here because of me so can't really hold that against him, I did meet him in his home town that he has lived in all his life. Who knows where we will be in 12 months time...

 

 

I agree with Legoman. When we first migrated here, our sons were 5 and 7 and we left all the family behind. My Dad pulled me aside at the airport and said 'give it at least 2 yrs, it will take that time to find a job, house, settle the boys into school, start to make friends, and generally just feel comfortable about getting around and becoming familiar with places, food, customs etc'. he was NOT wrong, infact after 2 yrs, we actually moved the goalpost to 5yrs. It's a huge move, with lots of changes for your mind and body to become accustomed to, give your original decision to come to Oz the respect it deserves, and set a timeframe.

 

Incidentally, my Mum and I would call each other every couple of weeks for the first year and just cry until my Dad and hubby asked us why we were wasting money calling to just cry, there was little talking happening...lol. So her and I saved like mad and I brought her out 2yrs later, it helped both of us immensely.

Edited August 31, 2013 by Thistle13
spelling

[vixxy666]

We have been in rockhampton 15 months had a great first year both working full time on excellent money so got to travel a lot and live partner took a huge pay cut I'm now unemployed without any career prospects and we are having to cancel the wedding we booked here it's an amazing place with the right amount of money to enjoy it as everything feels expensive take that away and everything seems pretty bad we're contemplating going back but haven't got to the money to take out two cats back and start again so we'll wait and see if things pick up now the elections done. We moved for financial security and were still better off on one wage compared to the uk but without my wage we can't even afford a case of beer and that's just not living lol

[Tina2]

It will be interesting to see what happens when the Carbon Tax is scrapped. Some how I don't think it is going to make the huge difference Abbott says it will. Have you ever seen business "dropping" prices ? I worry about the impact to the environment and to be honest would prefer to pay a few extra dollars if it means the environment is cared for. China is slowing and we cant influence that, and that was one of the main reasons for the boom. We need to do "something" about tariffs so Australia can compete with imports and get manufacturing fired up again to provide jobs for the future. I hope you find work .

[VERYSTORMY]

It will be interesting to see what happens when the Carbon Tax is scrapped. Some how I don't think it is going to make the huge difference Abbott says it will. Have you ever seen business "dropping" prices ? I worry about the impact to the environment and to be honest would prefer to pay a few extra dollars if it means the environment is cared for. China is slowing and we cant influence that, and that was one of the main reasons for the boom. We need to do "something" about tariffs so Australia can compete with imports and get manufacturing fired up again to provide jobs for the future. I hope you find work .

 

Purely from my experience it will make a difference. I was working at one of the sites tht was slugged with it. We were hit with a bill for $23 million. We had no way of reducing our emissions. So cost cutting measures were put in - redundancies. The site still produces the same amount of emissions. But, everyone has to work their balls off to cover for the lack of staff. Apprentices were fired and safety will be a lot less. But, the government got its tax

[Guest]

Three month mark of being here seems to be like a brick wall to most, the novelty of being here wears thin and the hard work near over and normal living kicks in. Another 3 months down the line and you could be more settled and steadied. Always worth hanging in there a lttle longer after the hard work of getting here but I understand where you are coming from with your concerns at the moment

 

I will second that, it takes a year until you stop fighting it :-) I hated it at first and could have gone straight away. I'm over that now and intend on staying for a few years (but knowing I will go back after being here a few more years )

It wouldn't bother me to leave tomorrow though. its no better and infact I'd say the weather isnt better in Oz as you dont need to think about too hot in the UK in summer. mind you this is Perth. It doesn't get too hot on the east coast.

 

A few more years i know I will be out of pocket for being here but then I wouldnt stay in the UK that long and would live abroad and commute back there so I cant see much wrong with staying for a wee bit. If I totally get board I will just go - its pretty easy to do but I feel people create barriers and think about it too much.

[legoman]

I will second that, it takes a year until you stop fighting it :-) I hated it at first and could have gone straight away. I'm over that now and intend on staying for a few years (but knowing I will go back after being here a few more years )

It wouldn't bother me to leave tomorrow though. its no better and infact I'd say the weather isnt better in Oz as you dont need to think about too hot in the UK in summer. mind you this is Perth. It doesn't get too hot on the east coast.

 

A few more years i know I will be out of pocket for being here but then I wouldnt stay in the UK that long and would live abroad and commute back there so I cant see much wrong with staying for a wee bit. If I totally get board I will just go - its pretty easy to do but I feel people create barriers and think about it too much.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I,m very much the same, can live here in Perth or the uk, both have faults and pluses. job here and studies, good job in uk and still have house there with very little mortgage left. If someone forced me to live in either country it would be no big deal to me. I think I am lucky in that I have close family in both countries and grew up near the sea all my life and generally obtained what I wanted through working hard for it.

[Guest]

I did a year in 2003. We regret going back to the UK, but I could only get temporary work, and we couldn't settle.

 

have you ever been back since? its much harder there for work now, we have just come back after 1yr on the GC and its also hard to find work, I do miss the place though.

[Guest]

32 years 5 months and 3 days but I'd have been happy to go after 10, very keen to go after 20 and desperate to go after 30.

 

back now to care for my aged parents and loving every minute. I miss very little about Australia - powerful showers and wide parking spaces mainly, but the improvement in my physical health has been astonishing as I do more outside, walk a lot, eat better and generally have a much richer life full of the things that interest me. My Aussie husband is coping but is missing Bunnings!

 

 

ha ha Bunnings now thats a big store, Makes BQ look tiny.

[bunbury61]

for you guys who made the big move to australia and ended up going back for what reason did you go back to uk and had you any regrets in doing so.I have just been here since start of june and already thinking about it im easy going pretty much could settle anywhere but after trying the job market here im wondering was my move the right one.would rather be skint back in uk with family than be skint here no family,hopefully i dont need to return and money does nit dry up but i dont want it to end up that way.always done ok for myself in the uk and never been out of work much.just thought i ask you how long did you last here in oz,to be honest did not think i be writing this or so soon,but having kknd of forced my wife to come and having our 1 yr old i dont worry if i made a wrong move

 

 

We had 6 years in oz , and loved it ....great friends , new house ,close to the sea , but it still wasnt enough .

At times there was an emptiness ....

Is it better in the u.k ?.....dont know , but this is where i belong ,

i appreciate both countries , but the more i travel the more i realise how lucky iam to live in the UK and europe and to live amongst my own people , who in the main are funny , interesting , and generally decent human beings

[IrishExpat]

I left Ardoyne in 2001 when I was 18. Been living in Melbourne ever since. 9 years and going strong. I have a home in Belfast but I don't think I'll ever move back there. Too many reasons to stay.

 

Plus I got tired of checking under my car for bombs everyday :wink:

Edited September 13, 2013 by IrishExpat
Typo

[newjez]

have you ever been back since? its much harder there for work now, we have just come back after 1yr on the GC and its also hard to find work, I do miss the place though.

 

 

We go back quite often for holidays and to see family. It's very expensive in Perth at the moment. It wouldn't be feasible to visit without family to support us. I don't know how other people do it.

[VERYSTORMY]

have you ever been back since? its much harder there for work now, we have just come back after 1yr on the GC and its also hard to find work, I do miss the place though.

 

I think it depends very much on what you do. For example, i am job hunting world wide at the moment. The only hints of any fruit so far have come from South America and the UK

[Arbrodin]

I can understand Arbrodin desire to come here though. They have a sister who loves Aus and has done well so I think its natural

to want the same.

 

My only concerns are the difference from when I first arrived ten years ago to now, Expensive place to live, Obesity being the biggest problem

now rather than smoking etc. The lucky country isnt that lucky anymore,I also believe the childs education is not better here, my son joins the RAN next month passed all exams etc and he was educated in the UK. But unless you come here and give it a go you will never know, many love it here and are successful, many back in the UK I know have had no inclination to even visit Oz and are successful back in the UK.

 

Give it a go Arbrodin you already know what the UK is like so see if Oz can be better.

 

 

 

Thanks guys for the replies Britpop, Verystormy and Legoman, any thoughts and advice would be welcome, positives and negatives, i have to say that areas such as Devon and Cornwall while lovely areas disappointed me very much when on holiday, the towns particularly not looking much different from many others and great when the weather is good but when the weather was poor, not easy to find great stuff for the family, my opinion of course. With no family in that area, the need for work, social circle etc would be just as hard. We do love living where we are now, we are within walking distance of an area of outstanding beauty, walk, mountain bike and dog walk there, the kids do sporting activities 6 nights a week. This is not a move to a nicer area because we are unhappy.

 

when my sister worked in the uk for 3 years contract, about 4 years ago, she lived for a good period of that time with us when she moved over from Oxford, which was a picturesque village full of thatched cottages, my sister hated the time she was back in the uk apart from the time with us, however lonely she has been at times in Oz, she would not return and has been the main pulling force for us to first visit on holiday and then to ask us to move over to live with her. As a family we loved our holiday, I did some visiting of connections from my masters course to discuss employment opportunities and get an account of work life balance from them too.

 

We wanted a new and different experience of life, working in the nhs would be similar wherever in the uk, a new lifestyle for us and the kids, near to the sea, we are not city people and would not want to be in Aus. This is the only chance we would ever have of doing this kind of thing, my last chance due to my age so if not now then it would be never. I have been reading the posts of the people who did it, not worked for them and moved back and the reasons, then the posts from people who say don't do it because you are unhappy with your life. Well as a family we are happy with our lives, our jobs, the kids are happy with school and after school activities. Does this mean we should not try, are we mad? The work it has taken to get this far and the amount of hoops still left to jump, means it is not deadline decision day yet, but still want to go for it.

Edited September 14, 2013 by Arbrodin

[VERYSTORMY]

It comes down to why you want to move to Oz. What will Oz give you that you dont have now.

 

The best advice i can givem is to figure out what you want and then research it to see if Oz can give you that. If it can, then go for it.

[charliebhoy]

I left Ardoyne in 2001 when I was 18. Been living in Melbourne ever since. 9 years and going strong. I have a home in Belfast but I don't think I'll ever move back there. Too many reasons to stay.

 

Plus I got tired of checking under my car for bombs everyday :wink:

 

 

haha thats great mate but u irish are like the plague here ! wish there was more scottish here !:biggrin: no bombs in county kilda plz

[Sydney]

for you guys who made the big move to australia and ended up going back for what reason did you go back to uk and had you any regrets in doing so.I have just been here since start of june and already thinking about it im easy going pretty much could settle anywhere but after trying the job market here im wondering was my move the right one.would rather be skint back in uk with family than be skint here no family,hopefully i dont need to return and money does nit dry up but i dont want it to end up that way.always done ok for myself in the uk and never been out of work much.just thought i ask you how long did you last here in oz,to be honest did not think i be writing this or so soon,but having kknd of forced my wife to come and having our 1 yr old i dont worry if i made a wrong move

By asking, "how long did you last", you make emigrating sound like a penance.

QUOLL mentioned on here a few weeks ago that we should "enjoy the adventure as opposes to the punishment." Some people move countries for a new life and others are happy just to have a holiday.

[fourcorners]

By asking, "how long did you last", you make emigrating sound like a penance.

QUOLL mentioned on here a few weeks ago that we should "enjoy the adventure as opposes to the punishment." Some people move countries for a new life and others are happy just to have a holiday.

 

I agree with you Sydney, and we fall into the latter camp. It's great having a few years living somewhere else but I've never had the desire to emigrate permanently. It's a shame that on PIO those of us choosing to move temporarily are looked down upon by those who have emigrated permanently (not everyone of course, just a few!). It's not a competition, everyone has different desires from life and want to get different things from it. I'm happy that Australia has given me the chance to try living here and working in an industry which barely exists in the UK. It's given me great experiences both in work and leisure and I will take predominantly happy memories when we do finally leave.