Back almost 2 years.......Our storey

[Petals]

Thoroughly enjoyed your update. You have said described what so many migrants feel, since the first wave of migrants.

[jen85]

Hi Everyone, I haven’t posted on here for a while, actually not properly since the day I sat in our Perth rental on a box, watching the removal men load our triple wrapped belongings and boxes into the container. What a day that was! The rain was torrential – all emotions were running on overdrive. I have sat down many times since to write an update on here, but I’ve found it really difficult.

Our story – we are a family of 4, we moved out to Aus in Dec2007 with two children then aged 8 and 11, lived in Gippsland for first 3 years(3hrs east of Melbourne) and then moved over to Perth for 6 months. Aus had always been somewhere my OH wanted to live, so when he was approaching 40, it was a kind of ‘if we don’t go now, we might not get another chance’. He got State sponsorship with the Victoria Gov and we managed to sell our house thatwe had just extended and renovated before the slowdown started, so we were in areally good position. For me, I never dreamt Aus was a better place to live, I was always hesitant, as we had a fairly good life and I was close to my family. But I came round and started to look upon it as a wonderful and fortunate opportunity for us all to experience life in another country. Plus I must admit I kept thinking it would be a better life for my children and their future. Our 3 years in semi-rural Vicwas difficult at first, as it really was a world away from our lives in the UK,but that’s what we had wanted. We got involved in everything we could and slowly got accepted into the fold of the community. My OH struggled constantly to find work though (Bricklayer) and was treated pretty poorly throughout, but did anything that came along. I applied for endless jobs, but very rarely even got a ‘thank you, but no thank you’ back. I watched him get lower and lower in the first year and he is a made of tough stuff. Then after working for a local trades man for 12mths, we started up our own business, he saw an opening in the market andwith the help of the government stimulus packages. Again, it was hard at first but with a lot ofgraft, it started to take off and went really well for a year until they stopped the grants and then it was back to square one.

So we decided after a 2 week visit to Perth and finding agreat school for our kids, jobs advertised by the bucket full, sun and beautiful beaches - that was the place for us! So 8 months later, with a visit back to the UK in between for a month, we moved to Perth. But we soon realised that we still had the empty feelings we had felt back in Victoria. My OH struggled again to findwork, but again took anything that came along. I again applied for all the jobs going which there were loads on the internet and paper, but had a very poor response – not even a sniff of an interview. The children by then 12 & 14 amazed us when we mentioned the possibility ofmoving back to the UK, it was like they got a new lease of life! I couldn’t understand it with the beach 2 minsup the road and views of the ocean from their school windows? My OH was all for it, It was the most difficult decision I’ve had to make to set the wheels in motion to move back –we had only just done a major move? Andit felt like utter madness to even consider moving back when we had only been here such a short time? But, something inside me felt it was right, but it didn’t stop me tearing myself into bits for weeks.

The move back took its toll on us emotionally and physically, having done 2 big moves, I underestimated what it takes out of you. Thanks to the high dollar we were able to buy a small house whilst still in Australia so we had a residential address to get our children back into the school we wanted them to go to, but this was still extremely stressful and thewhole time there were no definite’s that any of these things were going to happen. We got back having a house (which we were very grateful for) but no jobs, no guarantee that children wouldgo to the chosen schools, despite going to great lengths to be in the catchment and not really knowing what our future held? And all the time we were thinking‘have we/are we doing the right thing?’

We got back to the huge welcoming arms of family and friends, we were genuinely overwhelmed by the response of everyone. The first few weeks we were riding a bit of wave, it all felt a bit surreal. The day we collected the keys for the house,there was a letter on the doorstep advising that the children had places at theschool, this was just the best news for me. Then my husband was offered a job back with his old company, which felt incredible considering the economic climate – things started to fall into place. To cut to the finer details, my husband is employed, I’ve been doing a job for almost a year locally (despitenot having worked since my children were born) that I absolutely love at our local GP Surgery, my kids are settled and very happy with their lives, they are involved in so much more diverse stuff than they were in Australia, and have so many more interests.

This is really a post for people who are in a state of limbo on what to do. Although everything has now worked out for us and when writing it down like this it sounds like quite the ideal, it really has been a rollercoaster few years, our health took a huge knocking and the first 6/8 months back in the UK, we were in as much emotional turmoil it seemed, worse than when wewere trying to decide whether or not to return – I can totally understand why people ‘ping pong’. There was so much about Australia we all loved, it is truly an amazing country I will never regret going, and we have been extremely lucky in the fact that we were able to have an amazing experience and come back I feel - better people for it. We have fantastic memories and a better understanding of what it is like to be the immigrant. But having said all that, now we have settled back and normality of day to day life reigns, not a day goes by that I wish I was back there. I would be lying if I said I don’t miss the sunny days sometimes, or walking the dog on stretches of white sand, or the lovely friends we made, but I enjoy romping through the muddy woods too, the smells and the ever changing scenery the seasons bring – even the rain!

What I would really like to say is, if you are fortunate enough to get the opportunity to go, think carefully don’t pass it by, I was very close to my family but that wasn’t what brought me back in the end, I genuinely prefer England to live in, but we are all different, give it a go – leave England with an openmind to embrace what Australia is offering, not with the dreams of beaches and BBQ’s and the thriving place to raise children in a more healthy way, because Idon’t believe that to be necessarily true. My children are far more active and healthier now than they ever were in Australia, despite always being pretty busy kids. Australia does have so many new opportunities– life is too short to live with big regrets! Good luck to all who are making the brave and exciting move out to Aus,and all the very best to all of you who are thinking of returning, it’s far from all doom and gloom, stay positive either way.

 

Great story, so glad you were happy to resettle in the UK and life was made abit easier! Everyone is of the impression its like being on a constant holiday I can tell you it isn't people, it's hard yakka!

[tdk43]

So well written, thanks.

Donna x

[lizb58]

It filled me with great joy to read your story. I have lived here for 9 years and my husband for about 40 years He is retiring in a few weeks and we have decided to move back to the UK. I have never settled here and and you say it is a beautiful country but it's not 'home'. We are very excited about movingback but it is also very scarey. It is such a huge step. I also love England, there is no other place like it. Blue skies and sandy beaches do not make up for the kind of life I had in England. Thank you so much for making me feel right about the move. I can't wait to get on the plane in October. Australia is my second home and is somewhere where we will return to often for long summer holidays. I wish you lots of luck and happiness for the future.

[lizb58]

It filled me with great joy to read your story. I have lived here for 9 years and my husband for about 40 years He is retiring in a few weeks and we have decided to move back to the UK. I have never settled here and and you say it is a beautiful country but it's not 'home'. We are very excited about movingback but it is also very scarey. It is such a huge step. I also love England, there is no other place like it. Blue skies and sandy beaches do not make up for the kind of life I had in England. Thank you so much for making me feel right about the move. I can't wait to get on the plane in October. Australia is my second home and is somewhere where we will return to often for long summer holidays. I wish you lots of luck and happiness for the future.

[starlight7]

It is good when you work out exactly where you want to be- much harder for some than others of course but a lovely positive post like this one must give a lot of cheer to those who have decided to return.

[simmo]

Its weird. It was my wife's (Aussie) decision to come to the UK a d I wasn't sure. Now I'm sure it was the right choice and she's walking around with a "I told you so" face on her

[bennyboy]

Beautiful post to read. We are in 2 minds and have only been here 9 months. We have just been back to UK for 10 days as we changed out dates from going back in September. W e have 2 grown up kids back in UK and 1 beautiful grandaughter. Has made us re-think everything now. My head is spinning, don't know what to do!! ...

[welshpen321]

What a lovely story good on you for giving it a go and so happy for you that it has worked out for you back home.:hug:

[Lucia]

What a great post! It was last December when we made the decision to go back...probably not the best time as I was around 16 weeks pregnant, it was close to Christmas and both our mums had just been over for a visit.

Anyway, we've told ourselves that we'll go back Easter 2014 but it's not set in stone. Like many, we are agonising over the fact that we won't have jobs etc but at the same time we both feel like we're just coasting along waiting for something. I didn't really know what that 'something' was...to feel like I fit in? To accept Australia as my home? To finally find a group of friends I truly click with? The list goes on. It was just the other day that I said to my husband that I think that 'that something' we're waiting for is home.

I have trawled this site for months looking for everybody's pros and cons for moving back/staying put and I've come to the conclusion that, although it would be easier to stay (we now have 2 children under 2), I would still be trawling this site and dreaming of home for another 4 or 5 years.

Thank you for such a wonderful post! It has really given me a boost!

Edited June 29, 2013 by Lucia

[johnd]

Great post echoes a lot of my feelings for oz. I have lived in oz 3 times over several years even becoming an oz citizen, but it still wasnt right for me and my wife. I feel we will go back to oz one day, prob an extended holiday, but you never know. Having an aussie passport is a useful thing I suppose. I sometimes wonder about life down under, I have friends who went out there and landed their dream job (s) which makes a lot of difference, I however was doing the usual, I am similarly qualified as my mates but sometimes thats just luck. Also people generally in the media, life, internet forums, say oz is better for kids, lifestyle, cost of living etc, etc is it? Im unsure, I know there is a part of me that will always want to be there, I am one of those people who didnt love the place 100% nor did i hate it, it has its good and bad it is a truly beautiful country, but when you sit back and weigh it all up is it a better way of life? I reckon thats up to the individual. On a lighter note I wish I could have brought back my 2002 4 litre lpg powered ford falcon......what a car! Ha, ha, see ya!

[fizzybangs]

Wonderful post Lynn and the longer you put it off the harder it must have been. You certainly gave it everything you could in Oz and am so pleased you did not limp along with indecision but made the brave move (at that time) to return and how wonderfully it has worked out for you. I'm sure you have a greater appreciation of UK than you did before and have a wonderful feeling of peace.

 

I returned nearly 11 weeks ago after 32 years in Brisbane and I have such a feeling of inner peace and 'knowing' that I am now back where I belong. I also have not made a 'post', only commented here and there on other people's like now. It is so hard to describe and we have been so busy settling in and completing copious paperwork. Even shopping is confusing here after so long away as there is so much choice and so many shops to choose from. I am so very happy for you all.

[cartertucker]

Excellent post....:wink:

[beanbear]

Hi Everyone, I haven’t posted on here for a while, actually not properly since the day I sat in our Perth rental on a box, watching the removal men load our triple wrapped belongings and boxes into the container. What a day that was! The rain was torrential – all emotions were running on overdrive. I have sat down many times since to write an update on here, but I’ve found it really difficult.

Our story – we are a family of 4, we moved out to Aus in Dec2007 with two children then aged 8 and 11, lived in Gippsland for first 3 years(3hrs east of Melbourne) and then moved over to Perth for 6 months. Aus had always been somewhere my OH wanted to live, so when he was approaching 40, it was a kind of ‘if we don’t go now, we might not get another chance’. He got State sponsorship with the Victoria Gov and we managed to sell our house thatwe had just extended and renovated before the slowdown started, so we were in areally good position. For me, I never dreamt Aus was a better place to live, I was always hesitant, as we had a fairly good life and I was close to my family. But I came round and started to look upon it as a wonderful and fortunate opportunity for us all to experience life in another country. Plus I must admit I kept thinking it would be a better life for my children and their future. Our 3 years in semi-rural Vicwas difficult at first, as it really was a world away from our lives in the UK,but that’s what we had wanted. We got involved in everything we could and slowly got accepted into the fold of the community. My OH struggled constantly to find work though (Bricklayer) and was treated pretty poorly throughout, but did anything that came along. I applied for endless jobs, but very rarely even got a ‘thank you, but no thank you’ back. I watched him get lower and lower in the first year and he is a made of tough stuff. Then after working for a local trades man for 12mths, we started up our own business, he saw an opening in the market andwith the help of the government stimulus packages. Again, it was hard at first but with a lot ofgraft, it started to take off and went really well for a year until they stopped the grants and then it was back to square one.

So we decided after a 2 week visit to Perth and finding agreat school for our kids, jobs advertised by the bucket full, sun and beautiful beaches - that was the place for us! So 8 months later, with a visit back to the UK in between for a month, we moved to Perth. But we soon realised that we still had the empty feelings we had felt back in Victoria. My OH struggled again to findwork, but again took anything that came along. I again applied for all the jobs going which there were loads on the internet and paper, but had a very poor response – not even a sniff of an interview. The children by then 12 & 14 amazed us when we mentioned the possibility ofmoving back to the UK, it was like they got a new lease of life! I couldn’t understand it with the beach 2 minsup the road and views of the ocean from their school windows? My OH was all for it, It was the most difficult decision I’ve had to make to set the wheels in motion to move back –we had only just done a major move? Andit felt like utter madness to even consider moving back when we had only been here such a short time? But, something inside me felt it was right, but it didn’t stop me tearing myself into bits for weeks.

The move back took its toll on us emotionally and physically, having done 2 big moves, I underestimated what it takes out of you. Thanks to the high dollar we were able to buy a small house whilst still in Australia so we had a residential address to get our children back into the school we wanted them to go to, but this was still extremely stressful and thewhole time there were no definite’s that any of these things were going to happen. We got back having a house (which we were very grateful for) but no jobs, no guarantee that children wouldgo to the chosen schools, despite going to great lengths to be in the catchment and not really knowing what our future held? And all the time we were thinking‘have we/are we doing the right thing?’

We got back to the huge welcoming arms of family and friends, we were genuinely overwhelmed by the response of everyone. The first few weeks we were riding a bit of wave, it all felt a bit surreal. The day we collected the keys for the house,there was a letter on the doorstep advising that the children had places at theschool, this was just the best news for me. Then my husband was offered a job back with his old company, which felt incredible considering the economic climate – things started to fall into place. To cut to the finer details, my husband is employed, I’ve been doing a job for almost a year locally (despitenot having worked since my children were born) that I absolutely love at our local GP Surgery, my kids are settled and very happy with their lives, they are involved in so much more diverse stuff than they were in Australia, and have so many more interests.

Hi,

 

We are thinking of going back and I was interested in you saying your kids were involved in more and diverse things than before. Can you elaborate? Am interested in what I can get mine into. They play rugby and soccer here and are quite outgoing. They are currently 12 and 14 but will be 14 and 15 when we return.

 

Thanks

[Metoo]

Lynne S, I notice that all thought your time in Australia both your husband and yourself struggled for decent work opportunities. Supposing work was easily available and you both had satisfying well paid jobs, do you think you would have stayed in Australia

 

Thanks for a great post by the way metoo x

[corinne14470]

A year ago we flew to oz on a PR visa, had bad work experiences and couldn't afford to stay but have fond memories too though even in a short time it wasn't right. thanks for your post - the anniversary of our flight has stirred up a few things...

[fizzybangs]

Fabulous post and thank you for taking the time to write it all down so logically. I do feel that if you do move to Australia and subsequently return for whatever reasons, you have to accept the fact that for the rest of your life you will probably be somewhat restless! The easiest way to combat that is to accept that you love both countries but prefer to live in the UK! If you don't mind always being torn in two then emigrate!

[janlo]

Loved reading your post. We are definitely between camps as a family. Oz not for me and deffo more to see and do back in Europe for the children. Very anxious about the whole thing so thanks for the positivity.

[Tons]

Hi Lynne, your story has cheered me up, I've been in Victoria for 7 years and for the last two have been very homesick, we are finally going home early next year & I can't wait, but I'm very worried about schools, my children will be 17,13 & 10. You didn't seem to have a problem, my eldest will finish year 11 here & have to go into lower six half way through, I'm hoping that wont be too much of a problem. I agree Australia is lovely but I yearn to be back in dear old blighty and am lucky enough that my Aussie (from Perth) husband is okay about moving back too. Thanks for reassuring me.

[caramac]

Hi Lynne, your story has cheered me up, I've been in Victoria for 7 years and for the last two have been very homesick, we are finally going home early next year & I can't wait, but I'm very worried about schools, my children will be 17,13 & 10. You didn't seem to have a problem, my eldest will finish year 11 here & have to go into lower six half way through, I'm hoping that wont be too much of a problem. I agree Australia is lovely but I yearn to be back in dear old blighty and am lucky enough that my Aussie (from Perth) husband is okay about moving back too. Thanks for reassuring me.

 

 

What does your eldest want to after school? I hate to say it, but I think you're right to be worried about putting him/her into lower sixth having missed the first term, but it does depend on what they want to do afterwards. It's not impossible to catch up with the course, but it's very hard work and they need to be very self motivated. It's a big ask. If top grades are not important then it's not so bad, but if s/he's thinking of a competitive uni course, it'll be harder. We heard that the unis take the movement into consideration and they do quite like the fact the student has travelled and has a wider perspective on life, but I don't know how true that is.

We moved back to the UK when our eldest had missed the first term of her GCSE courses and that was hard enough, even though we'd only been away a year - AS levels are big jump from that. She had to work to catch up in her own time and have the initiative to find her teachers to help outside of class time. She'd returned to her old school so the teachers knew her well and could prompt where necessary.

Do you know where you're moving to in the UK? If so, is there someone he/she could stay with until you get here? It wouldn't be quite so hard if he/she could start sooner rather than later. If that's not possible, another option would be to wait until Sept and start year 12 again. People say that's it's not possible in the state system, but I personally know of three people who have done it in the last couple of years no problem. Or you could think of colleges - many kids leave school at the end of year 11 and go on to take A levels/btecs at a college.

Good luck. It's not ideal and needs researching well, but it's not impossible. :smile:

[beanbear]

What does your eldest want to after school? I hate to say it, but I think you're right to be worried about putting him/her into lower sixth having missed the first term, but it does depend on what they want to do afterwards. It's not impossible to catch up with the course, but it's very hard work and they need to be very self motivated. It's a big ask. If top grades are not important then it's not so bad, but if s/he's thinking of a competitive uni course, it'll be harder. We heard that the unis take the movement into consideration and they do quite like the fact the student has travelled and has a wider perspective on life, but I don't know how true that is.

We moved back to the UK when our eldest had missed the first term of her GCSE courses and that was hard enough, even though we'd only been away a year - AS levels are big jump from that. She had to work to catch up in her own time and have the initiative to find her teachers to help outside of class time. She'd returned to her old school so the teachers knew her well and could prompt where necessary.

Do you know where you're moving to in the UK? If so, is there someone he/she could stay with until you get here? It wouldn't be quite so hard if he/she could start sooner rather than later. If that's not possible, another option would be to wait until Sept and start year 12 again. People say that's it's not possible in the state system, but I personally know of three people who have done it in the last couple of years no problem. Or you could think of colleges - many kids leave school at the end of year 11 and go on to take A levels/btecs at a college.

Good luck. It's not ideal and needs researching well, but it's not impossible. :smile:

 

That's reassuring to hear that school may allow a student to start a year again. We will be in a similar boat, as my daughter will be halfway through year ten here, when we leave next year and would have had to start year 11 in September in the UK. We discussed this with her though and her preferred choice would be to restart year ten and have 2 years for her GCSEs. Although she is a bright kid, the pressure to catch up, whilst making new friends and settling in would have been a lot to ask. Also as she wants to go to Uni, we feel it will be better for her to have a chance to do really well and have a better choice for A'levels etc. She is a March birthday so will no doubt be older than lots of her new year, but not by that much. Anyway just our plan and everyone is different, but I was relieved when she said she would prefer to do it this way.

[caramac]

What a mature approach she has! Some of my daughters' friends have repeated year 12 last year and this year. I think my middle one said four in her year have done it this time. Either their AS results weren't the best for various reasons or, in one case, a girl has stood up to her parents who decided she must do medicine so had taken the sciences and maths and she wants to do humanities. Luckily they are supporting her decision. Three have stayed at the school and one has gone to the local college.

It's much more common in the private sector to be allowed to repeat a year (our youngest wasn't allowed to do her reception year in her state primary when we came back the first time, so had to go straight into year 1 which wasn't great as she was a prem baby born at the end of June and very young in the year), but I do know friends whose children have been able to do it at the more flexible state schools. I guess it'll mean talking to the schools you're thinking of (if they're state schools), or the LEA to see what their policy is.

Having a March birthday puts your daughter right in the middle, so she won't be too much older than a lot of the others. Our eldest's birthday is Sept 1st, so she's always been the oldest in her year in the UK and almost a whole year older than her best friend and boyfriend. It doesn't make so much difference by this stage.

Good luck to your daughter - I hope she enjoys her new school.

[Tons]

Thanks Caramac, I will investigate the year 11/lower sixth conundrum, the problem is, exams here are oct/nov (VCE's) & term starts sept in U.K. I was hoping he could use his year 11 results as a form of As. He does want to go to uni, studying law 1st choice or journalism 2nd choice depending on ALevel results. We are looking at Essex (brentwood,shenfield & billericay) hopefully my husband will get a relocation in which case we should get a advisor to help out with schooling, thanks for your advice x

[caramac]

No problem Tons. I hope you manage to sort it out for him. I know the issues only too well - we had to make a quick decision to leave Aus to get the girls back into the UK system after the eldest had missed the first term of year 10. We knew if we left it any longer she'd never manage to catch up - a term is doable, at that level anyway.

At least in Essex there are some excellent schools!