Jump to content

You're currently viewing the forum as a Guest
register-now-button_orig.png
and join in with discussions   
ask migration questions
message other members

..and much much more!

FranG

Emigrating to Oz with a young baby

Recommended Posts

Hello there,

 

Its my first time posting on here although not my first time emigrating to oz..

 

A little bit about us.

 

Me and my fiance (now my hubby) emigrated to Brisbane in 2007 and spent nearly 2 years there.. took a while to get used to being away from family and friends however when we did we absolutely loved it. Unfortunately my husband was made redundant and we had to leave to come home (UK)

 

Fast forward to now and we have had the opportunity to return to Australia, Melbourne this time. My husband is very much looking forward to return however I am still undecided. We now have a 10 month old daughter so a lot more to consider and I am very nervous about being away from my family when they has given me so much support as a first time new mum.

 

Can anyone give me some advice about making a big move like this again with a baby to consider?

 

Where would be the best areas to live for a family like us. Husband is working in the CBD.

 

Any othere advice would be really appreciated as I am so nervous about feeling alone with a child whilst husband at work.

 

Thanks so much in advance..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome, think you need to have a read through the Victoria forum and also join up with Life in Victoria forum, there is a link at the foot of this one. Good luck


Petals

:ssign15:taking no prisoners :wink:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi FranG

I am not in Oz yet. Hopefully we will be there in August. We did however move to the UAE when our twins were just 2 months old. Basically straight out of NICU, onto a plane and over here. We didn't know a single person and after a full year, still don't really know anyone. Certainly not anyone I could pick up the phone to. So I understand your concern about feeling alone.

From what I know, Melbourne will be very different to hear (as will Darwin where we hope to be) in that there will be a much more community focus. You should make some friends quite soon. Particularly if you find and join some mums and tots groups.

I have a skype call with my Mum almost every day. Sometimes for an hour. To be honest she doesn't really want to speak to me - just to watch the kids. (now 14 months). Skype has been an absolute godsend and I think has probably stopped me going insane. It helps you keep that connection with family and stops you feeling so alone.

I'm sure you will be absolutely fine. Go for it!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We have been in Melbourne for 2 months, we don't know anyone and are having to start from scratch. We have a 2 year old and have had to make a real effort to go to any relevant mums groups we can find, it's daunting and hard work, but it just takes time to build new friends and relationships. Mines still a work in progress but I think having a child will connect you with more friends and like minded people quicker and hopefully make you feel settled in no time. There is also great groups on meetup.com.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is it another 457 visa? If so, I would think long and hard. Having to leave the country because of losing a job as young free people is one thing. It is a very different thing as parents.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a 21 month old and I will be brutally honest!! Without family it's tough especially if things font go according to plan. I miss my family so much and sometimes feel very guilty that he will not know his grandparents.

 

On the positive side, we have a good life and there is plenty for us to do as a family. Making friends will take time but you'll get there. My friends have become my family and just today one if my friends popped in with her 8 year old daughter and watching her Andy son together was so wonderful.

 

Where in Melbourne are you thinking of?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi,

 

I don't think anytime is a good time to move, but if you want to, then you know you have too. We first got our visas granted when our daughter had just turned 5, now she's 7 and we're still here as we've had to delay. For us now it's harder with a 7 year old as she's more established at school and I'm constantly getting "daddy I don't want to move as I want to stay and go to juniors with my friends". It's very hard to hear that and very hard to see her with all her school friends knowing that soon she'll be on the other side of the world and having to make new ones.

 

If I could have the time again I would move earlier with a child so that they build their life in a new place, not here and then have to lose that when they move. As for the grandparents it's hard. Our daughter is the only grandchild on my wifes' side and on my side my father dotes on her, so it's going to be very hard on both sets of parents to take someone so special away from them. However, while they may not like it and they want us to stay, they are both supportive of our move.

 

Life is never easy, but you have to make your own life what you want it to be, not what others might want it to be for you.

 

Skype is never the same, but for the people I know, it's a great help that they can still see you every day and share some time with you in your new life.

 

Good luck with whatever choice you make.

 

Rich

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for all your replies.

 

I realise this will not be easy. Some days I am so positive and others I really don't think I have the guts to do it.

My mum will be devestated and that will be the hardest thing for me. She is on her own and absolutely dotes on my little girl.

 

I know I am going to have to work so hard to find friends and build a new life for us however I just know that ultimately it will be a better life for her/us.

Initially yes I think it's a sponsor from his company. We plan to rent this time as last time we sold in the UK then brought in Brisbane and this was such a hassle when we had to leave.

 

He will be working in the CBD and travelling to work by train so ideally we would like approx 30 mins out. Looked at a few areas on the net but no idea really where would be best.

 

Ugh.... It's such a hard decision to make but if its going to work I will just have to push myself to make friends and get myself out there so to speak so we keep busy and my little one can enjoy it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you are very self sufficient and not a little selfish (you will get the guilts from family members no matter how good they are) and are prepared to get out there and make every connection you can then you should be OK. Personally I hate Skype - in some ways it was a lot easier in the old days (we had a 6 month old and I was effectively a single parent as DH was a workaholic student for the first few years) because you werent continually picking at the scab of the life and connections left behind. As a grandparent now on the other side of the world from my grandkids, I find I really dont want to interact with them on Skype - it's bloody hard to get a cuddle via Skype although we do try and read books to them - one of them, I am sure, is quite confused about why Mops is always in the box on the desk.

 

I would have a cast iron agreement with your DH that if you dont like it then he will return with you - sounds like overkill (ie get it in writing, witnessed etc etc) but there are too many tales of woe on here where a partner has said no way are they returning even if the mental health and well being of the other is seriously compromised. And once a kid is in Australia you have buckleys of getting permission from the court to remove that child if the other parent says no - even if they are the biggest abusing no hoper on the planet.

 

I did it, of course it can be done but I recognize that I was selfish (fortunately my parents didnt belabour that point but I have friends whose parents cut them off for years), I am also very self sufficient and we used no one (we had no one to use!). I got bored out of my brain within 12 months of being there, just me and the baby, and went back to uni to do a masters which turned into a full time job eventually. If I had had to stay with playgroup and talk of potty training and feeding solids I would probably have slit my wrists - back in the day, there were probably more stay at home mums than there are now so isolation could be a problem for you.

 

Both of my sons, now in their 30s have commented independently on the isolation of our little family as both have partnered with girls from monster extended families and I know that there is an element of regret in there when they see what their partners have. I do think it has unfortunately made them in some ways selfish too although that might be because they are blokes (or they inherited my genes LOL).

 

You are still young enough for an adventure, you dont have to stay in Australia forever, you still have the luxury to come and go for a while yet. Dont be misled by the "better life" mantra that you hear repeated on here - it'll be a different life for sure but I remain to be convinced that removing kids from a loving extended family into relative isolation is in any way "better" Good luck with your decision, only you know how well you can cope on your own.

Edited by Quoll

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We moved here (Melbourne) in December 2011 with a 6 month old and love it. I too am very close to my mum but we wanted to give it a try and whilst I miss her she's been over once already and is coming next Friday as we've now got an 8 week old little boy too.

As soon as I arrived I joined a playgroup, swimming lessons and various baby classes and have met some great friends. As people have said, having kids makes it easier to meet people as long as you're willing to put yourself out there.

My hubby and I don't go out that much on our own but that doesn't bother us too much as that's what you sign up for when you have kids and don't have family about - but, the friends I have here are all happy to babysit the odd night and we all help each other out if we need little ones looked after during the day etc for various reasons.

Only you can decide what to do but from my own experience I love it here and don't want to return (despite loving the UK too). Lots of luck to you, hope you reach a decision you are happy with.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, you should try Perth, especially a little place called mandurah, a beautiful spot south of Perth. The place is booming again after the gfc. Great for kids and the waterways are amazing, full of dolphins and pelicans...a truly magical place the locals don't want you to know about. Good luck

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×