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leanne1287

Financially Trapped Desperate to go!!

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Have you tried talking to the people who financed your car? They normally have a hard ship section (including the credit cards). Ask for a 6 month break (where they stop charging you interest or reduce the interest amount) during this time you put as much as you can towards reducing the balance.

 

Have you also thought hard about alternatives with the cars? For example trading down? Yes dealers do take trade ins and refund the balance. Do you think you could manage with a single car for say 6 months (again to get you out of the short term dire?).

 

Have you tried transfering the cards to lower interest?

 

who gives a whotsit about what you own on a car if you wanna go just go they won't trace you just dump it where theres no cameras close to the airport happy days even if their is cameras cant do s*** about it unless you are coming back, lifes to short to worry about a bit of iron. your welfare and sanity come first.end of the day the car company will get more than the cars worth back on reselling plus insurance plus what you paid in installments screw em leave the heap of s*** on the tarmac sorry to be human but says it as it is GUDONYA

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Oh sweetheart, I hear you! You have your 'home' back 'home', and know how you feel. Im born bred here, but after 16yrs in UK, feel I'm from there, and coming back here was a mistake! I'd love to up and go, and like you, sucked down the plughole with the rat-race of all that is keeping up with cafe society & kids education and extra curricular stuff. even just insurance is crippling - but worse if you don't have it. It's really hard. I think you are doing the right thing clearing your debts, makes that fresh start back home so inviting & you'll not have the past hanging over you with debts to clear and paying exchange rates to send money over, and you don't want to leave the country as a bad debter, it may follow you when you travel later. Also if you can ebay stuff to just get rid of things you don't need, to add to the 'savings piggy bank' for moving home. Car finance...yup we were the same - couldn't get credit so got a dealer car second hand and finance has us stuck in - & a lemon to boot! Lucky tho' the extra warranty has paid for a lot! I hear you on a lot of levels. We are sinking and I miss our house, tho' I don't miss the area it's in, we'd prob live somewhere else. But just glad we have our place there. We're even talking about retirement - that we'd move back to Europe, can't afford to retire here (just had 4th babe - unexpected/unplanned, and already finances are tight) so retirement a long way off, and unattainable like it was in UK. My gorgeous 1st boy misses UK too. We don't talk of missing UK, but he obviously hasn't taken to Aus like we'd hoped. Then neither have I, and hubby is finding it a real struggle emotionally, and financially too.

We're travelling to South Africa and UK in June/July, and it's taken all our savings - when we could have just up and gone back - just too hard to relocate with 4 kids right now. An Irish friend whose hubby is FIFO in Perth - so she sees him 1 week in 4, is flying home for good with her kids. Due to the cost of travelling back there for a family anniversary, it's so expensive, she may as well go back permanently, and hubby can 'fly home' while she's got the support of family there, here she's got no one. (ie not family, old friends). I completely understand.

 

Even just the creepy crawlies get me, leeches, ticks, spiders. Got bitten by a spider and had a bad reaction - called the health line, they called an ambulance, travelled 16kms to the hosp and was charged almost $400 for the priviledge... the reaction from opening the 'invoice' was as scary as the reaction to the darn spider bite! sheesh... I'll get over my phobia of frogs and move back in a flash!

Good luck and know there are people who are wishing you well, just think every day is one day closer... and smile (fake it till you make it) thru those tears!

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Nice post Busimoll! Personally I don't(as a few posters have suggested)think its a good idea dumping the vehicles off at the airport carpark.Its giving brits a bad name,as well as yourselves.I don't know how people sleep at night doing stuff like that!


When the power of love overcomes the love of power,the world will know peace ~ Jimi Hendrix

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So great news they've cut my husband job to a four day week. Just what we needed don't think we'll ever get home. Really don't know how much more I, we can take.

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Guest Guest16631

.......I have really felt for you reading your posts...................to feel trapped is one of the hardest feelings to deal with.....

........would it be worth talking to a financial advisor...............your bank..........to find out a way to help......?

........to have a realistic time frame......................an idea of when you can go home.....

........should help you cope .........................you have your goal.......

........just need to plan the least painful route........

.........to look upon the time here as part of the journey.........a means to the end .......

.........keep smiling ............you'll get there............you got here successfully..........and that isn't easy......

..........you'll get back...........I wish you and yours all the best..........take care.........tink x

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So sorry to hear your latest bombshell Leanne! Does that give him any scope to get a second job perhaps? I know it sounds harsh but short term pain, long term gain as they say! Even stacking shelves or delivering junk mail might help. Hope this bloody great cloud has a silver lining in it somewhere!

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Thanks everyone for the advise given. We've changed our credit card to a low interest rate for 15 months this should save us $1000's in interest. Keeping up with the extra payments. Broke lease on house moving into a smaller unit should save $100 a week. That's extra money is going on extra car payments. Had a clear out put some stuff on eBay made a little money, which is in a pot for when my father inlaw visits in June something for us to look forward to. Been a whole week without breaking down got some happy pills from the herbal some seam to be helping. Settling into a new job which I don't think helped with the depression felt a bit out of my depth. Looking forward to 2015 small steps it will soon be here! Thanks again for listening

 

Well done Leanne - your progress is great - and yes it is progress. You are moving forward every day and the debts will drop quickly with what you have done. Hope you are now settling into the new job and congratulations on that too! I have a friend who has finally paid off two horribly high credit cards and is aiming to return to UK too but are hoping to save more before going. They have decided on a date to return though and I don't mean they have booked their flights as it is too far ahead yet but just agreeing on the date is helping them both so much psychologically. They are now saving for their return and are wondering whether to build a house. You might want to save so that it gives you a nest egg until you get jobs or perhaps so you can buy a second hand car for cash etc. I so agree with you that I wouldn't want to just walk away from debts as I would feel it always hanging over my head! Good luck with it all and keep me posted, if not on here then via a private message

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So great news they've cut my husband job to a four day week. Just what we needed don't think we'll ever get home. Really don't know how much more I, we can take.

 

O Leanne, I've just seen this since my other post I've just written. Thank goodness he still has the 4 days though! What kind of work does he do? It's a good thing you did move and change those credit cards! Don't forget the financial hardship clause for bankcards as Quoll advised if things get really tough as they are obliged to assist as she says by stopping the interest going on but you won't be able to use the card/s if you do ask for that. Perhaps do it with just one of them if you can prove hardship.

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Agree with the others maybe selling the cars will pay the loans. You could pay off you credit card bill with a uk loan. Interest rates will be much lower and you should still have a credit history.

 

hope you can sort it out.

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It's very difficult being so caught up in a situation to think clearly. Try and remove yourself from the situation and think about what you would advise your best friend to do if she explained this situation to you. When you have a mortgage, the bank take a charge over your home to protect their interests in the event that you are in the awful situation of defaulting on the loan. The same procedure applies to car finance. The loan company have a charge over the vehicles to protect their interests in the event that you are in the awful situation of defaulting on the loan. What I am saying is no dumping vehicles at airports is even required. You just simply cancel your direct debits and walk into the bank/loan companies offices and pop your keys on the desk. " I'm very sorry but I cannot afford these loans - here are the keys." And you walk out. And you forget about it and move on. Simple as that. This is your mental health you are talking about and I think it seems crazy to most that you would contjnue to struggle and jeopardise your mental health to continue paying loans that are secured anyway! if you were in the terrible predicament of not being able to afford your mortgage you would eventually have to hand the keys back, so what is the difference - really?? If strangers that have never met you and are not in your situation are going to take the moral high ground then that is their problem - not yours. Any mental health doctor would give you the same advice. Your mental health comes first. Too bad what anyone else thinks. Staying and being so unhappy so you can go home with a 'clean slate' is just nonsense - this is your LIFE!! These are not unsecured loans we are talking about here - the loan companies interests are PROTECTED. And really you will going back to a clean slate anyway whether you hand the vehicles back or not! Now find your flight money and go home. When you're the other side of the world feeling anxious and depressed this can feel as scary and overwhelming as staying. Trust me the minute you get on that plane you will feel like a new person. Find a short let on gumtree for 6 weeks or so if you dont have family to stay with. It takes the pressure off and certainly made my return much more do-able. Now I ask you again - what would you advise your distraught best friend to do who you love dearly if she were in the same situation?? You have GOT to be your own best friend here. X

Edited by millymarie

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So what else can life throw at us. I changed my job as the store I was managing was closing due to renovation in the shopping centre, took another managing job in the same centre only to find that store was closing the day I closed my first store. I was reasured that they would get a pop up store in the centre which didn't happen. So I finally get to catch up with my regional manger yesterday to way up my options. All she had to offer me was an assistant manager job over an hour away from where I live or a part time job 2 hours away. So I now have 3 weeks to find a job. So my day off today has been spent applying for jobs and the odd outburst of tears. Begining to think we're doomed, why do some people have all the luck. It's not like were bad people we open doors for old ladies, let cars pass in busy traffic help when we can. So why can't we for once just have something go our way. All I want is to pay our debt's and go home!

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sorry to say bassboy but he is right we are in melbourne but went to perth to stay with family over xmas new year and found it very expensive, i no it was the xmas period but we didnt go mad out every night or splashing out on things we didnt need but we still got through $3,000 in 14 days, i find austarlia expensive compared to the uk but perth more so, also been to nsw.

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surely you must have enough cash for a one way flight back stop doing this to yourself go home and be happy you WILL get over it your mental health is more important to you and you are not the first or will be the last to probably leave a debt please please go home.

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Hand the cars back - the finance company will not lose out, they make more than enough to cover the costs with the exorbitant interest rates. You can pay your credit cards off from the UK. Cut your loses and go home..... What is the point of prolonging your unhappiness with the financial situation only going from bad to worse. Big hugs.

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Even better, sell the cars .. Pocket the money and fly home. Dont have no guilt.. I wouldn't


paul :jiggy:

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. You just simply cancel your direct debits and walk into the bank/loan companies offices and pop your keys on the desk. " I'm very sorry but I cannot afford these loans - here are the keys." And you walk out. And you forget about it and move on. Simple as that.

Staying and being so unhappy so you can go home with a 'clean slate' is just nonsense - this is your LIFE!! These are not unsecured loans we are talking about here - the loan companies interests are PROTECTED. And really you will going back to a clean slate anyway whether you hand the vehicles back or not! Now find your flight money and go home. When you're the other side of the world feeling anxious and depressed this can feel as scary and overwhelming as staying. Trust me the minute you get on that plane you will feel like a new person. Find a short let on gumtree for 6 weeks or so if you dont have family to stay with. It takes the pressure off and certainly made my return much more do-able. . X

 

Best advice here - It is a great thing to have integrity, but not at the cost of your mental health. Look after yourself now, you must be feeling so overwhelmed.

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So what else can life throw at us. I changed my job as the store I was managing was closing due to renovation in the shopping centre, took another managing job in the same centre only to find that store was closing the day I closed my first store. I was reasured that they would get a pop up store in the centre which didn't happen. So I finally get to catch up with my regional manger yesterday to way up my options. All she had to offer me was an assistant manager job over an hour away from where I live or a part time job 2 hours away. So I now have 3 weeks to find a job. So my day off today has been spent applying for jobs and the odd outburst of tears. Begining to think we're doomed, why do some people have all the luck. It's not like were bad people we open doors for old ladies, let cars pass in busy traffic help when we can. So why can't we for once just have something go our way. All I want is to pay our debt's and go home!

 

Get yourself home hun - the car finance thing is very clear. The credit cards, well you can pay those from home. What does it matter whether you pay those from aus or uk! - at least pay them off from somewhere where you will be happy!! I've been living in Aus on and off since 2005 - it's changed Leanne. If you are in a highly skilled, highly paid profession great. But for most people who are having to make do with this ' casual ' work thing in dribs and drabs and aren't doctors, engineers, computer programmers etc it is now incredibly tough to make a go of it in Australia - unless you were there in those early years when the exchange rate and cost of living was in your favour. Why bankrupt yourself trying to pay off two lumps of metal that are security for the loans anyway - just hand them back! There's no problem, really. Im in the UK, I still use my Aus credit card and pay it each month in the usual way, there's no problem with that! Its got to be paid anyway so Id much rather pay it from somewhere I am happy!! I can't see what is keeping you 'stuck' other than anxiety which stems from moral dilemma. You don't need to stay to pay down those vehicles Leanne, really you don't! In this situation that moral dilemma is completely irrational. Nothing bad is going to happen if you choose to give the vehicles back and get on a plane. Reclaim your life! X

Edited by millymarie

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Guest guest74886
Even better, sell the cars .. Pocket the money and fly home. Dont have no guilt.. I wouldn't

 

First off you can't sell the cars they are the property of the finance company and if you do it is a criminal offence and you risk a criminal record

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Been here in Brisbane 4 years every day is getting harder to be here, I find most days driving home from work I break down and cry. I feel so desperate and can't see any way out. We have two cars loans and a credit card. Found it so hard to get any kind of credit when we first arrived, we used all our saving keeping us here till we both got jobs. So we turned to the banks no help with a small loan to get us started but would give us a credit card. Used that limit quickly so they were happy to up it but again not happy to give us a small loan so now we owe a fair amount on the card. Got our self two new cars, which we just cant hand back. Were working hard paying extra off the cars and cards moving into a smaller house to pay less rent , this will save us an extra $400 a month, giving ourselfs till Aug 2015. But I'm finding everyday harder and harder, my hubby feels the same. We would love to drop everything and just go but were not that kind of people. But if the banks wont help with a loan we have no choice but to stay and work at paying the debts off.

How many other people are trapped and feel like there is no way ou?

I agree with verystormy and other posters.But first try and sell cars for whats oweing on them,or advertise for someone to take over payments,if you can't do that.Buy your tickets and leave,theres plenty more people in the same state of affairs,as you that have already left.

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Why worry about paying off the debts if you have no intention of going back to Australia? Just hand the cars back and leave, it wont follow you back and it cant be enforced anyways. Learn from your mistakes and move on i say. Why you had to go and buy 2 new cars is beyond me. Learn to live within your means in future.

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Guest Bobinwa

Really sorry to read your story Leanne and I hope you find a resolution and some peace quickly. I am afraid that I am falling into a similar situation, having only arrived here a few weeks ago, but can't shake off the feeling that I have made the biggest mistake of my life. OH and kids are loving it, I on the other hand feel consumed by anxiety, am unable to sleep, have started a job that isn't what I was led to believe it would be and am constantly worried that the relatively modest savings we have will evaporate in no time in this incredibly expensive environment. I keep hoping that the stomach churning feeling will go away and hope to be woken up by the alarm clock rather than tossing and turning from 3.00am onwards. Is this a fairly normal feeling having recently arrived?

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Even better, sell the cars .. Pocket the money and fly home. Dont have no guilt.. I wouldn't

 

but then ..you are condoning committing a criminal act.

​I don't think Leanne is that sort of person.


I want it all, and I want it now.

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Really sorry to read your story Leanne and I hope you find a resolution and some peace quickly. I am afraid that I am falling into a similar situation, having only arrived here a few weeks ago, but can't shake off the feeling that I have made the biggest mistake of my life. OH and kids are loving it, I on the other hand feel consumed by anxiety, am unable to sleep, have started a job that isn't what I was led to believe it would be and am constantly worried that the relatively modest savings we have will evaporate in no time in this incredibly expensive environment. I keep hoping that the stomach churning feeling will go away and hope to be woken up by the alarm clock rather than tossing and turning from 3.00am onwards. Is this a fairly normal feeling having recently arrived?

 

With apologies to the OP, I didn’t want to just read and run - partly because this is your first post but also because you are definitely not alone in struggling to deal with the consequences of moving half way round the world. There are lots of threads and posts, particularly in Moving Back to the UK, where people describe feelings very similar to the one’s you are experiencing.

 

 

Having arrived in Australia fairly recently you are still in the process of finding your feet, and there is no fixed period of time for that. Some feel at home straight away, some take a little longer or much longer, and some never really settle completely. At this stage it is almost impossible to know for certain which category you fit into.

 

If you can, try to take the pressure of yourself. Accept that what you feel is normal, and give yourself a few weeks or months to settle in. Maybe talk things over with the OH and agree a date when you will sit down together to take stock. In the meantime PIO is a great place to be if you need a bit of support or advice. I hope life gets a little easier soon. Tx

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Guest guest74886
Really sorry to read your story Leanne and I hope you find a resolution and some peace quickly. I am afraid that I am falling into a similar situation, having only arrived here a few weeks ago, but can't shake off the feeling that I have made the biggest mistake of my life. OH and kids are loving it, I on the other hand feel consumed by anxiety, am unable to sleep, have started a job that isn't what I was led to believe it would be and am constantly worried that the relatively modest savings we have will evaporate in no time in this incredibly expensive environment. I keep hoping that the stomach churning feeling will go away and hope to be woken up by the alarm clock rather than tossing and turning from 3.00am onwards. Is this a fairly normal feeling having recently arrived?

 

It is difficult at first, I can only suggest concentrate on the positives, if you have a job that is a step up on a lot of people coming and if you are covering your costs then you are also ahead, just try and avoid taking on commitments that tie you to things until you settle, be careful with utilities as often they come with 2 year contracts, unfortunately moving countries does come with costs which are unavoidable.

I would say stick with the job and try to make it work and use it in a few months to start looking around, it's inevitable that the first job might not be what you want it takes 6 months to find out how it all works around here, it took us 18 months to find something that was what we really wanted/could cope with , set yourself some deadlines by which you think it should be working and by when you should have another job/house /whatever and give yourself a break , it's always going to be a bit dodgy at the beginning regardless of how much prep you put in.

All the best

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Been here in Brisbane 4 years every day is getting harder to be here, I find most days driving home from work I break down and cry. I feel so desperate and can't see any way out. We have two cars loans and a credit card. Found it so hard to get any kind of credit when we first arrived, we used all our saving keeping us here till we both got jobs. So we turned to the banks no help with a small loan to get us started but would give us a credit card. Used that limit quickly so they were happy to up it but again not happy to give us a small loan so now we owe a fair amount on the card. Got our self two new cars, which we just cant hand back. Were working hard paying extra off the cars and cards moving into a smaller house to pay less rent , this will save us an extra $400 a month, giving ourselfs till Aug 2015. But I'm finding everyday harder and harder, my hubby feels the same. We would love to drop everything and just go but were not that kind of people. But if the banks wont help with a loan we have no choice but to stay and work at paying the debts off.

How many other people are trapped and feel like there is no way ou?

 

I really hope things work out for you. I was just wondering though why you purchased 2 NEW cars? Why not buy secondhand cars for a fraction of the price?

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