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[Guest afiyafifi]

Hi girls i really need some advice , i will start at the beginning , when my little girl was born two years ago , she was having problems with her milk formula so she was put on a lactose free milk , i was told by the dietician that i would have problems weaning her and i did it took me till she was one to get her on to solids , It took me even longer to get her off the horrible milk ,any way she is now finally on normal milk but i can not get her to eat at all , she wants milk all the time , the specialist said cut the milk down and starve her , i have tried this and its horrible and cruel and she crys all the time , I was wondering if anyone else have had problems getting there children to eat and if so how did you manage to get food into them , Any ideas would be greatly welcomed am pulling my hair out and really worried . thank you in advance karen

[Guest EM&M]

Hi girls i really need some advice , i will start at the beginning , when my little girl was born two years ago , she was having problems with her milk formula so she was put on a lactose free milk , i was told by the dietician that i would have problems weaning her and i did it took me till she was one to get her on to solids , It took me even longer to get her off the horrible milk ,any way she is now finally on normal milk but i can not get her to eat at all , she wants milk all the time , the specialist said cut the milk down and starve her , i have tried this and its horrible and cruel and she crys all the time , I was wondering if anyone else have had problems getting there children to eat and if so how did you manage to get food into them , Any ideas would be greatly welcomed am pulling my hair out and really worried . thank you in advance karen

 

 

Hi Karen,

 

What I mare, my little one had reflux and was on staydown milk and older one was on soya. I find Libby (15mths) likes her food quite creamy so I put food in the blender with milk so process it together (ie veggies etc). You dont say how if she is taking the milk (ie cup or bottle). Have you tried offering her a drink of milk with the food, just a small amount. If she is taking it from a bottle try watering it down. Also try more finger food rather than spoon/fork food I know my older one much prefered food she could stick in her mouth and if I gave her spaghetti she would eat it the same way lol.

 

Good Luck

 

Em x

[ali]

Hi Karen,

 

I would suggest finger food too, plus use the milk as a reward for her trying new things. Only put a few things onto the plate and start off small - you could also have a plate with the same things on it and use it as a bit of a game. You can then very slowly reduce the amount of milk you give. At this point I'd say that it'd probably be only snacks til she builds up to eating more, also does she eat with you at meal times? If she does, continue to put out whatever she usually has, if she doesn't then sit her at the table with you, she may pick up on what other people are doing.

 

Ali

[Guest monty]

Hi Karen,

 

Prior to coming to Oz 9 weeks ago I worked as a registered health visitor and am also a qualified paediatric nurse and your problem with your little girl is not uncommon. What you have to identify is this a behavioural issue or a feeding issue chances are its a mixture of the two. If she is being seen by a specialist then I'm assuming they have monitored her growth and development and are happy that she is making progress. I'm not sure if your little one is still on formula or full fat cows milk? By your post. The problem is that while she is having milk, milk is classed as food in a way and it will fill her up and so she will not want to eat. Is she waking in the night for milk as well? Is she having a bottle or a cup?

 

What I would normally suggest in my professional capacity is this:

 

1. Speak to your health visitor and get a base line weight and height.

2. If she wakes for milk in the night and has a bottle she will be full up in the day and will refuse food during the day as a consequence. At night give her half strength milk make it more diluted. I would never advse this with a baby or infant under one but as she is 2yrs this is fine. This will make her less full, the milk will become more of a drink rather than food. Gradually replace this with water. Offer her small portions of food during the day say five as opposed to three, iron rich food, fruit and finger foods, cheese yoghurt.

3. Fussy eaters and food wars are really common, try not to let it takeover your life or hers. We are approaching the terrible twos. Get your OH to back you up. Consitency is the key present a united front. Praise her when she eats initially but don't go overboard

4. Its important to ensure that she gets the vitamins and minerals she needs and unfortunately iron deficiency anaemia is common when children tend to have a very high concentration of in their diet, because the large volume of milk stops iron being absorbed. See about giving her a mulit vitamin every day a childrens brand like abidec is fine.

5. Finally it will be really hard and it wont happen over night you may have a few lapses and give in to her. But just start again when you do. Good luck with everthing.

 

Montyx

[Guest monty]

Hi Karen,

 

Prior to coming to Oz 9 weeks ago I worked as a registered health visitor and am also a qualified paediatric nurse and your problem with your little girl is not uncommon. What you have to identify is this a behavioural issue or a feeding issue chances are its a mixture of the two. If she is being seen by a specialist then I'm assuming they have monitored her growth and development and are happy that she is making progress. I'm not sure if your little one is still on formula or full fat cows milk? By your post. The problem is that while she is having milk, milk is classed as food in a way and it will fill her up and so she will not want to eat. Is she waking in the night for milk as well? Is she having a bottle or a cup?

 

What I would normally suggest in my professional capacity is this:

 

1. Speak to your health visitor and get a base line weight and height.

2. If she wakes for milk in the night and has a bottle she will be full up in the day and will refuse food during the day as a consequence. At night give her half strength milk make it more diluted. I would never advse this with a baby or infant under one but as she is 2yrs this is fine. This will make her less full, the milk will become more of a drink rather than food. Gradually replace this with water. Offer her small portions of food during the day say five as opposed to three, iron rich food, fruit and finger foods, cheese yoghurt.

3. Fussy eaters and food wars are really common, try not to let it takeover your life or hers. We are approaching the terrible twos. Get your OH to back you up. Consitency is the key present a united front. Praise her when she eats initially but don't go overboard

4. Its important to ensure that she gets the vitamins and minerals she needs and unfortunately iron deficiency anaemia is common when children tend to have a very high concentration of in their diet, because the large volume of milk stops iron being absorbed. See about giving her a mulit vitamin every day a childrens brand like abidec is fine.

5. Finally it will be really hard and it wont happen over night you may have a few lapses and give in to her. But just start again when you do. Good luck with everthing.

 

Montyx

[Guest chrissy63]

Hi

 

I agree wih Monty's advice. I am a nurse who works in a local child and family team. I guess you will be feeling a level of anxiety too, after all all we want is our child to eat. In addition to Monty's advice try to relax and make meal times fun, fun, fun,. You will get there in the end but it will be hard work so make sure you have plenty of support around you.

[Selah]

OOOOOH Been there (and not too long ago.) Monty & Chrissy are so wise. I also wonder how your daughter is taking the milk. My youngest who is now 3 had this problem as well but we found it had to do with the comfort he received from sucking the tomee tippee cup. I broke the problem by throwing out all lids to cups and found that then he almost refused to drink. It was horribly heart wrenching ( we told him that other babies needed them and for a few weeks, he would ask if the other babies were finished and would give them back.) However, it made all the difference and within a week he was eating like he had never eaten before. FOr us, it was medical but became behavioural and comfort and we hadn't even noticed the transition. Add it to your list of things they never warn you about parenthood!!!

 

Liz

[Guest afiyafifi]

Hi Karen,

 

Prior to coming to Oz 9 weeks ago I worked as a registered health visitor and am also a qualified paediatric nurse and your problem with your little girl is not uncommon. What you have to identify is this a behavioural issue or a feeding issue chances are its a mixture of the two. If she is being seen by a specialist then I'm assuming they have monitored her growth and development and are happy that she is making progress. I'm not sure if your little one is still on formula or full fat cows milk? By your post. The problem is that while she is having milk, milk is classed as food in a way and it will fill her up and so she will not want to eat. Is she waking in the night for milk as well? Is she having a bottle or a cup?

 

What I would normally suggest in my professional capacity is this:

 

1. Speak to your health visitor and get a base line weight and height.

2. If she wakes for milk in the night and has a bottle she will be full up in the day and will refuse food during the day as a consequence. At night give her half strength milk make it more diluted. I would never advse this with a baby or infant under one but as she is 2yrs this is fine. This will make her less full, the milk will become more of a drink rather than food. Gradually replace this with water. Offer her small portions of food during the day say five as opposed to three, iron rich food, fruit and finger foods, cheese yoghurt.

3. Fussy eaters and food wars are really common, try not to let it takeover your life or hers. We are approaching the terrible twos. Get your OH to back you up. Consitency is the key present a united front. Praise her when she eats initially but don't go overboard

4. Its important to ensure that she gets the vitamins and minerals she needs and unfortunately iron deficiency anaemia is common when children tend to have a very high concentration of in their diet, because the large volume of milk stops iron being absorbed. See about giving her a mulit vitamin every day a childrens brand like abidec is fine.

5. Finally it will be really hard and it wont happen over night you may have a few lapses and give in to her. But just start again when you do. Good luck with everthing.

 

Montyx

 

Thank you so much for your advice monty , she is still on the bottle for milk and beaker for juice . tryed to put milk in beaker but she wont have it . Have watered it down but not half and half .will try a cup tonight think the bottle can go to the baby ducks again thank you so much ... karen

[Guest afiyafifi]

Thank you everyone for your advice i will try what you all have said , will let you know how i get on thanks again ... karen

[Guest afiyafifi]

Just thought i would let you all know i took afiya down to feed the ducks before and she gave them her bottle . I went and bought her a new beaker for her milk she will not entertain it , and she ate all her tea to night , but i still have the night bottle problem to go yet ... thanks again girls .

[Guest Mrs C]

Hi karen,

 

I just wanted to let you know that I had similar problems with my eldest daughter, the doctor told me she would eat when she was hungry enough......

 

She is 18 now and 5ft 11in so it didn't affect her growth.

 

There is some really good advice for you from the other Mum's, I do hope it makes you feel a bit better.

 

April

[Guest afiyafifi]

Hi karen,

 

I just wanted to let you know that I had similar problems with my eldest daughter, the doctor told me she would eat when she was hungry enough......

 

She is 18 now and 5ft 11in so it didn't affect her growth.

 

There is some really good advice for you from the other Mum's, I do hope it makes you feel a bit better.

 

April

 

Thank you April , i do feel alot better now i have shared it with other mums , the info they have given is great ,its great to know that you can come on here and ask questions about anything and there is always a friend there to help you out . your all the best thanks karen

[Guest EM&M]

Just thought i would let you all know i took afiya down to feed the ducks before and she gave them her bottle . I went and bought her a new beaker for her milk she will not entertain it , and she ate all her tea to night , but i still have the night bottle problem to go yet ... thanks again girls .

 

 

Hi Karen,

 

Just take one step at a time, sort out the meals then deal with the night bottle. I found with Libby altho she is only 15 months she would not take any kind of drinking bottle. When we arrived in OZ she refused to drink it was hot she was constipated and I was fraught. I was frightened she would get dehydrated with the climate etc etc. I bought tommy tippee drinking cups, a mum typr drinking cup nope wouldnt have it, I bought some really cheap sippy cups for $1.99 and found she took that although it wasnt great. My older daughter has a sports type bottle for her juice/water so I bought one these for Libby and she loves it, she drinks so much better with it.

 

When I weaned Ella from her bottle at 18 month I started to put the milk in a "mum" drinking bottle (from Asda)they have soft silicone spout and she seemed to take that ok and within 4 weeks of changing it she came off it altogether.

 

Keep at it, sometimes you just have to be strong and ride it through.

 

Good Luck

 

Em x

[Guest Trakki]

Hiya, I have to agree with Monty and the others. I too am a children's nurse but also have 4 children. My now 5 year old has never really been interested in food, even when I first weaned her. She is now 5 and taller than my son who is 7. She doesn't eat any cooked food apart from sausages so tea times are a nightmare. What I did with her when she was around two was this. Stopped milk drinks during the day. She had one to go to bed and one AFTER breakfast (milky breakfast). She had her milk in bottles but juice in a beaker. She would never eat lunch so I always had a bowl of healthy finger foods that she could pick at during the day with no pressure on her to eat a meal. ((I also have a 2 year old who loves her food but she loves nothing more than when I put a blanket on the floor and we have a picnic, she doesn't eat much lunch (makes up for it at tea time) but will eat well if we have a picnic, especially if her teddies 'eat' aswell.)) This food I used to take away at 3pm so she didn't fill up before dinner at 5pm. This did work really well and when she started to go to nursery I changed this to her having lunch. I felt really stressed when she didn't eat and OH does now but I have found that if I don't make a big deal of it she eats more. The more I focus on her eating the less she does, her way of getting attention!! What I am tring to say is don't worry to much, your child will not starve themselves, ensure that when she does eat you offer healthy food like fruit etc then they will get what they need. At the end of the day if your daughter is happy, active, healthy and thriving then she is getting what she needs.

 

HTH to put your mind at rest.

[KazzE]

Hi (((((Karen)))))

 

and I just want to say that there has been some excellent advice given here, the key to dealing with this is to stay calm (I do get the impression that you are), children are very good at picking up anxiety from adults, it is very important that it does not become a battle of wills, which at this age it so easily could.

 

Children of this age like to feel that they have some control over things so offering limited choices can work really well, say a yogurt or a stick of cheese? raisins or dried apricot?

 

and to be consistant, this means that the same routine is followed by everyone Mum, Dad, who ever looks after her.

 

and as has already been said there is no quick fix, this is a long haul

 

stay strong hun, you will get there

Karen X

[Guest monty]

Glad to be of help Karen,

 

Looks like you've had some sound advice from lots of the mums on this site. Chrissy, Em, Trakki and Mrs C have given you common sense advice. I also have personal experience my oldest son who is now 24yrs old is a fine strapping six footer, was a fussy eater and would pick like a sparrow. He's fine, fit and healthy but he worried me so; but he ate when he was hungry and didn't starve. By the time I had my fourth and youngest child now 15yrs I learned to be much more relaxed about things. Children are very clever and they pick up on your anxieties so try to relax, take it one step at a time and be kind to yourself.

 

Love Monty

 

P.s Trakki what is it with childrens nurses, we all seem to have hoards of kids, I know so many with 3s and 4s!!!!

[Guest Trakki]

 

P.s Trakki what is it with childrens nurses, we all seem to have hoards of kids, I know so many with 3s and 4s!!!!

 

 

I know, wierd isn't it, the majority that I work with have 3,4 or more children, you'd think that working with children it would put you off although I must admit that we stopped at two then I persuaded OH to have one more and then Number 4 was a real surprise. But I have to agree with my first 2 I was quite worried about their eating and Jack 7 is a picky eater, Sophie 5 as mentioned before doesn't eat cooked food apart from sausages. When in got to Niamh, despite her being born prem and having lots of problems I was alot more relaxed with the weaning and she eats everything in sight. Joe now 6 months is just weaning and I can't fill him up!! breast feeds for england and on 3 solid meals aday.

[Guest TRACEY & PETER]

My youngest son is 3 and since he hasnt had a bottle he want drink milk at all, where as when he had the bottle he to went through a period of time that he would only want milk.

 

Ijust try him every know and again, but make sure he has other dairy products, but know he is addicted to cheese.

 

Some times it very hard to get the balance right.

 

It will pass, all my 3 sons have gone through something similar, My eldest would only eat sausages for about 3 months, when he was 2, it drove us mad, but it passed, now he cant stand them, funny little things arnt there.

 

My advice would be Stay calm, dish her dinner up let her decide if she wants it, if no take it away. and try to reduce the milk and replace with juice.

 

Good luck