Do you wish you'd never come?

[starlight7]

Those of you who have returned to Britain, do you wish you had never come to Australia in the first place? Was it all such a hassle and so costly that you wish you had stopped at home? Or did you gain from the experience? How much disruption to your life was caused by your actions? Was it worth it? I'd just guess that most would have gained something positive from all the upheaval- but maybe not?

[blobby1000]

An excellent question and one we are currently grappling with.

 

Yes I wish we had never come because we have spent around 50,000 pounds that we never really even had for a 2 year experience which has proved to have not worked out. Our oldest son has missed his first year of school. Our dog will have undergone two pointless, presumably harrowing, and selfish (on our part) journeys while we chased a dream.

 

But NO in fact I do not regret it. We have grown as a family, we love each other more than ever, we understand the complexities of life in a foreign land (and never again will we utter the words "England is crap we gotta get out of here"). We know who our really good friends are in the UK. We have worked in a foreign country which has boosted our professional confidence. And, perhaps most importantly, we now understand what is important in life, what we want out of life, and thus are returning to an entirely different part of the UK to where we came from.

 

And Australian coffee is fantastic.

Edited September 11, 2012 by blobby1000

[dalejaneaustralia]

An excellent question and one we are currently grappling with.

 

Yes I wish we had never come because we have spent around 50,000 pounds that we never really even had for a 2 year experience which has proved to have not worked out. Our oldest son has missed his first year of school. Our dog will have undergone two pointless, presumably harrowing, and selfish (on our part) journeys while we chased a dream.

 

But NO in fact I do not regret it. We have grown as a family, we love each other more than ever, we understand the complexities of life in a foreign land (and never again will we utter the words "England is crap we gotta get out of here"). We know who our really good friends are in the UK. We have worked in a foreign country which has boosted our professional confidence. And, perhaps most importantly, we now understand what is important in life, what we want out of life, and thus are returning to an entirely different part of the UK to where we came from.

 

And Australian coffee is fantastic.

 

Great honest post, love how your negative has turned to positive......you will miss the coffee though

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD

[Guest guest17301]

How can you regret it, all experiences shape us and our future, good or bad, we just don't necessarily see the reason at the time.....

[blobby1000]

Great honest post, love how your negative has turned to positive......you will miss the coffee though

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD

 

 

Thanks.

Edited September 11, 2012 by blobby1000

[Guest Guest63690]

(and never again will we utter the words "England is crap we gotta get out of here").

 

 

Hi Blobby,

That comment really got me thinking! I have a friend on the verge of emigrating (her hubby has been offered a job, but she gave him the push), and she is always grumbling about the Uk going down the pan....but......she lives in a lovely area in a lovely home (worth over 500k!). Her kids are great kids, doing well at school/college. They live in the South in an area of low unemployment. But to her England is a dull gloomy country!

I sometimes listen to her and think, do we even live in the same country? When she told me about emigrating I was really upset, but after reading your post I think it might be a really good thing. Either they will love it out there, and if so thats great. I have only ever wanted her to be happy. but if it doesn't work out, maybe she will see the UK with fresh and more appreciative eyes. Either way its win win! Thanks Blobby :biggrin:

Edited September 11, 2012 by Guest63690

[Dan Collins]

An excellent question and one we are currently grappling with.

 

Yes I wish we had never come because we have spent around 50,000 pounds that we never really even had for a 2 year experience which has proved to have not worked out. Our oldest son has missed his first year of school. Our dog will have undergone two pointless, presumably harrowing, and selfish (on our part) journeys while we chased a dream.

 

But NO in fact I do not regret it. We have grown as a family, we love each other more than ever, we understand the complexities of life in a foreign land (and never again will we utter the words "England is crap we gotta get out of here"). We know who our really good friends are in the UK. We have worked in a foreign country which has boosted our professional confidence. And, perhaps most importantly, we now understand what is important in life, what we want out of life, and thus are returning to an entirely different part of the UK to where we came from.

 

And Australian coffee is fantastic.

 

I'm 100% with the coffee.

 

Thanks for sharing the experience. I'm sorry it didn't work out. A good friend spent 2 years in Melbourne, had a laugh but decided it wasn't right for him, the family and the dog. His approach to living in the UK has changed completely since he came back.

 

For some, including us, you learn as you travel that anywhere can be rubbish or brilliant - just depends on what you want to make of it. Good luck with things mate.

[ghost]

No regrets at all spent a lot of money, but answered a question that needed to be answered. I've lived in another country, a hot country, something I wanted to do for years.

 

Now I'm back , decided that the uk is one of the best countries in the world to live.

[Guest]

Definitely wish I'd never come to Australia. Although in my case coming to live here was an obligation I felt I had to my Australian partner rather than a lifestyle choice of my own. It hasn't been a daily grind of misery throughout, although there have been some terribly dark times admittedly, it just doesn't do anything for me as a place. I feel like I've drifted away from family and friends due to the distance and financially it's been pretty ruinous in terms of wiping out my savings and making a mess of my UK pension contributions. If I could have one wish granted to me it would be that my partner had been one of those Australians who loves England and who never wanted to go home!

[blobby1000]

Hi Blobby,

That comment really got me thinking! I have a friend on the verge of emigrating (her hubby has been offered a job, but she gave him the push), and she is always grumbling about the Uk going down the pan....but......she lives in a lovely area in a lovely home (worth over 500k!). Her kids are great kids, doing well at school/college. They live in the South in an area of low unemployment. But to her England is a dull gloomy country!

I sometimes listen to her and think, do we even live in the same country? When she told me about emigrating I was really upset, but after reading your post I think it might be a really good thing. Either they will love it out there, and if so thats great. I have only ever wanted her to be happy. but if it doesn't work out, maybe she will see the UK with fresh and more appreciative eyes. Either way its win win! Thanks Blobby :biggrin:

 

Yeah it certainly makes you realise what you had in England, whether good or bad, whether you stay or return, moving to another country certainly helps you find perspective..

[Bobo81]

Have just signed up on here as came across these posts when we were researching moving back to the uk from oz. my husband and I would agree that a big part of us regrets coming over as we have spent so much money that could have been spent on a home back in the uk and towards our kids future. We should have researched the move a little better I feel as we had no idea how expensive Australia actually is to live. Also the move can put a huge strain on relationships and I feel we have both suffered emotionally which is bound to have rubbed off on our kids- even if you try to hide it.

i do feel though that we couldn't have not taken the opportunity and it's important to try new things, I just feel we maybe got timing wrong as I am a stay at home mum with two very young children, not the best stage in life to move away from support networks. I think it's important to remain positive and even though I am looking forward to going home and sorting things out, I intend to see a little bit more of oz and have some fun family memories to take back with us. This move was much harder than we both anticipated even though we knew it was not going to be easy(we have family who moved out here and found it very hard to settle at first, they now love it and would not go back-they live in a different part of oz to us)

[legoman]

sometimes if i a bit down i wish i never heard of Australia, however, what an experience it has been so far, makes me appreciate the UK and my quite comfortable life there I had,( until you actually live here away from Uk you wouldnt understand) would be semi retired now at 50, took sunset drive home today in perth, beautiful beaches blue seas and surfers etc, lifes been good in both countries, Australia has given my elder son an aussie wife, me 2 aussie grandaughters

my youngest an excellent chance to progress at school with college, I earn ok here, and much sameness, driving along southsea seafront at home ( hampshire UK will always be home to me) was good, as was the car shows etc and closeness of europe.

 

yes sometimes i wish i never heard of Oz, would mean all my family together at home, but when they look back in our family history in the future

my decision in coming here meant extended family on the other side of the world started by me.

 

so all good no matter where i end up

[blobby1000]

Have just signed up on here as came across these posts when we were researching moving back to the uk from oz. my husband and I would agree that a big part of us regrets coming over as we have spent so much money that could have been spent on a home back in the uk and towards our kids future. We should have researched the move a little better I feel as we had no idea how expensive Australia actually is to live. Also the move can put a huge strain on relationships and I feel we have both suffered emotionally which is bound to have rubbed off on our kids- even if you try to hide it.

i do feel though that we couldn't have not taken the opportunity and it's important to try new things, I just feel we maybe got timing wrong as I am a stay at home mum with two very young children, not the best stage in life to move away from support networks. I think it's important to remain positive and even though I am looking forward to going home and sorting things out, I intend to see a little bit more of oz and have some fun family memories to take back with us. This move was much harder than we both anticipated even though we knew it was not going to be easy(we have family who moved out here and found it very hard to settle at first, they now love it and would not go back-they live in a different part of oz to us)

 

Can I ask how long you have been here?

[Bobo81]

Can I ask how long you have been here?

 

We have been here for just over 6 months, thought about a move within oz but I don't really think that would help. Also I think it's something you would have to believe in 100% to work and after our experiences over the last few months im not feeling that brave. I know most people think that is not long enough to have given it a proper go but I feel moving home is the right thing to do for us as a family, doesn't add up for us to be here, financially and emotionally.

[Guest]

In a word YES

[Jacaranda]

I wish my parents had'nt.I got moved over to Australia when I was a small child,so had no choice.

[scmercer]

Yes.

 

I have completely messed up my career and my husband gave up a great , well paid job in the UK and is unlikely to be lucky enough to find anything like it. I am finding it so hard getting back into my previous area of work too. Constantly having doubts whether to come back to the UK when in Oz and now we are back, whether we should have stayed. Would have been so much easier if we had not have gone in the first place!

[Perthbum]

[h=2]Do you wish you'd never come?[/h]

 

Yep...child maintenance is a bugger.

[Surf N Turf]

Do you wish you'd never come?

 

 

 

Yep...child maintenance is a bugger.

 

Did you actually make a little Australian when you were out here PB?

[TONY2000]

We have been here for just over 6 months, thought about a move within oz but I don't really think that would help. Also I think it's something you would have to believe in 100% to work and after our experiences over the last few months im not feeling that brave. I know most people think that is not long enough to have given it a proper go but I feel moving home is the right thing to do for us as a family, doesn't add up for us to be here, financially and emotionally.

 

Im not starting a flame war here, as i do feel for you and your situation, but 6 Months !

You cannot make a life changing move work in 6 months !

If you said 2 years i would have thought fair enough.

Most people who have been here two years or more still at times miss UK and want to go at times.

It does get easier, it just needs you to get your head around it all,

be positive and think what have i got to loose by really having a good go.

Keep trying im sure it will feel diffrent after a year or so if not then go back with some great experiance and memorys of an adventure you would have regretted had you not done it.

:biggrin:

[NicF]

Im not starting a flame war here, as i do feel for you and your situation, but 6 Months !

You cannot make a life changing move work in 6 months !

If you said 2 years i would have thought fair enough.

Most people who have been here two years or more still at times miss UK and want to go at times.

It does get easier, it just needs you to get your head around it all,

be positive and think what have i got to loose by really having a good go.

Keep trying im sure it will feel diffrent after a year or so if not then go back with some great experiance and memorys of an adventure you would have regretted had you not done it.

:biggrin:

 

Lots of people say this and I would normally agree but I'm wondering if this is really the case. I've been here just under two months, I don't have a job yet (OH does), I don't have a car so can't get around easily and I don't know anyone apart from my in laws but I feel completely at home here. I only need a day in London to know I would hate living there. So why wouldn't someone know that they don't like living in a place after 6 months?

[TONY2000]

Lots of people say this and I would normally agree but I'm wondering if this is really the case. I've been here just under two months, I don't have a job yet (OH does), I don't have a car so can't get around easily and I don't know anyone apart from my in laws but I feel completely at home here. I only need a day in London to know I would hate living there. So why wouldn't someone know that they don't like living in a place after 6 months?

 

Its a fair point but 6 months to establish a life from scratch ?

Its not possible, the first few months are all a bit weird as its all new and diffrent and takes time to truly feel comfortable.

It still felt a bit like a dream for us for the first year or so.

I think it takes time to build friendships, networks and establish a routine.

[NicF]

Its a fair point but 6 months to establish a life from scratch ?

Its not possible, the first few months are all a bit weird as its all new and diffrent and takes time to truly feel comfortable.

It still felt a bit like a dream for us for the first year or so.

I think it takes time to build friendships, networks and establish a routine.

 

I agree entirely, but if a place isn't right for you then no amount of friendships, networks and routines will help. I have no idea if this applies to the person who is wanting to leave after six months mind you, just that it is possible to know that a place is not the right place for you pretty quickly. Although if that was the case it would probably be easier to find a suitable alternative place to live within the state you had moved to rather than moving all the way back to the UK.

[fifi69]

Agree with you NicF

Ive often wondered about this two year rule. Ive only been here 6 weeks and so far i think im 80% sure its going to work, need to find work and another couple of emotional things to sort and i will be fine im sure. But if i hated it now, 2 years would be long time to be miserable. Have people felt so bad theyve thought about going back at around the 6mth/1year mark but stuck it out and its turned out ok??

Does the two year mark give some kind of "respectability" to the move. Its strange but although i would never judge anyone else, yes i would prob feel a bit of a failure if i went back before 2 years, just because i bigged it up so much before leaving, you know the thing, telling friends what a wonderful new life i going to have etc etc. After 2 years i feel i could go back with my head held a bit higher because i had spent a decent amount of time here and could say yes ive lived in Oz, been there done that. I know its not the right way to think though.

To the OP's question im prob just starting to realise that financially and career wise its not the bestest of moves but theres no way i could not have given it ago. A itch scratched and all that

[ghost]

6 months , 2 years , I never get why people quote these numbers. Depends what your missing, in 2 years you might have the friendships and more of a network of people , but you won't get the things that make the uk what it is. The culture, the closeness to Europe , the winter (did I really say the winter ). And it certainly won't get any cheaper !

 

Please don't knock someone because they know what they want after only 6 months!