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tfarrell

one month in brisbane and want to go home

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Hi

 

I really feel for you and know what you are going through. The first few months, even first year can be very tough. I am sure once your husband finds a job you will feel better. Maybe give yourself a timeframe in which your husband would need to find work. You can then reassess your situation if he does find work and see how you feel then. It took my husband two months to find a job. In that time I felt awful and didn't know if it was homesickness or worry about being unsettled, after he found work, our money worries stopped but I felt the same. I went through a whirlwind of bouts of homesickness over two years then we decided to come home. I know it is difficult financially, but try and give it as long as you can so you don't make the wrong decision. We are back in the UK now and I still couldnt say for sure we did the right thing!


Arrived Adelaide 2009, returned to UK 2011

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I feel so helpless

Our stuff only arrived today and I spent the day crying

I just want to go home

Kids miss family and I just feel so guilty

Did everyone go through this

If I was handed a ticket home I would be gone

Husband still hasn't got job.. he's applied for anything goin

And rang up places asking for work.. still nothing

Feel really horrible

:hug: It is normal especially the first 3-6 months, I would set a date say for March next year and if you still aren't happy then look more carefully at moving back


If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.

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Sorry to hear.

 

Look at it the way JCKC put it, above:

 

would you rather be miserable in a sunny and scenic place surrounded by your nearest and dearest?

 

or

 

miserable in one of the world's most miserable countries, going into 6 months of grim weather and another 3-5 years of austerity? The Olympic good feel factor will only last another week or so.

 

I've lived in Brisbane (been in the UK on and off for 10 years) and I know where I'd rather be.

 

Buy some nice steaks from Coles for dinner and all will be well.

 

I'm moving out to Sydney myself and can't bloody wait.

The UK has turned into something quite grim.

 

In the interests of balance (and because we’re posting on the Moving Back to the UK part of the forum), I would just like to say that I don’t find the UK grim. Maybe it does depend on where you live, what you do, how you see things.....and I agree that nearly everyone is affected to some extent by rising prices and pay freezes. But for me, my family and friends, everyday life is not grim. The sun does shine, people still smile, go on holiday, out for meals, meet up with friends - all the ordinary stuff that makes the world go round and puts a spring in your step. For a lot of people, and lots of reasons, the UK is still a good place to call ‘home’ - and that includes me. :yes: Tx

 

ETA: Just wanted to send my best wishes to the OP - You are probably dealing with the toughest part of the move just now, but one piece of good luck could mean everything slotting into place for you. I hope it all works out well for you...and soon.

Edited by tea4too

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I'm from dublin and I know its pretty grim there.. part of the reason we wanted to leave.

There is no construction jobs. My husband was working.. but doing 12 hour days incl weekends was just hard .going.. after taking 3 pay cuts in 2 years too..

People back home complain bout the weather... the govt.. the country as a whole.. but my daughter loved her school and is struggling here.. she misses friends and family a lot..

I'm afraid to check our bank account cost that scared me..

How long do we go on without money coming in before we call it a day..

I'm whinging now.. sorry folks.. just feeling sorry for myself really..

Thanks for all the advice tho.. it does help a lot..


TRA passed 28/06/10, 176 family sponsored done myself online 15/02/11 , CO Oct, Meds & Police checks done and sent off 16 Oct, Visa Granted 19/10/11, Husband Carpenter/Joiner - Moving to Brisbane North on the 8th of Aug with 3 lovely kids (6, 3 & 1)

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I'm from dublin and I know its pretty grim there.. part of the reason we wanted to leave.

There is no construction jobs. My husband was working.. but doing 12 hour days incl weekends was just hard .going.. after taking 3 pay cuts in 2 years too..

People back home complain bout the weather... the govt.. the country as a whole.. but my daughter loved her school and is struggling here.. she misses friends and family a lot..

I'm afraid to check our bank account cost that scared me..

How long do we go on without money coming in before we call it a day..

I'm whinging now.. sorry folks.. just feeling sorry for myself really..

Thanks for all the advice tho.. it does help a lot..

 

 

Hiya tfarrell.....Im from Dublin too ...and living in Sydney ....I came over and left my grown up kids over there .....just remember why we left .....it is pretty bad ....your children will make friends.. you will make friends and your husband will find work..it all takes time ...just give it a fair go ....

and if you still feel the same in 10 months or so ....


Application sent 3/3/12 ..CO Request med and pcc 14/3/12....Fullfilled all visa requirements 8/6/12 ..Due to be finalised Mid /8/

GRANTED 13/8/2012 FLIGHT BOOKED 23/8/2012 :arghh:

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Buy some nice steaks from Coles for dinner and all will be well.

 

 

 

Ther's no such thing....................not at my Coles anyway. If I made a pair of boots out of their steak, I'd never need another pair.


See my art here: https://kevindickinsonfineartphot.smugmug.com/

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I don't think a month is very long to be making any rash decisions. Your girl will find friends and settle in, you will all feel loads better when you get a job. I was out of work for 5 months when we arrived and although I still loved being here and never gave any thought to going back, I never really felt "part of it" until I had a job. After I landed the first one I haven't been out of work since and we've been here 20 years.

 

My wife's a nurse though so that helped no-end, she had a job after the first week.

 

Good luck, hope you start feeling better and more settled soon. Good luck to your other half with the job hunting too.

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Hang in there,i came up to north brisbane from sydney 7 years ago and love it now....came over in 98.I know a few builders at the local and will ask later on today and put the word around.If i have any luck i'll pm you.

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Thanks for you help... my husband walked around sites today to see if there's anything going and still nothing..

He really doesn't want to go home.. I still feel the same tho.. just want to cut our loses and go home.. sounds so silly but I just can't shake the feeling..


TRA passed 28/06/10, 176 family sponsored done myself online 15/02/11 , CO Oct, Meds & Police checks done and sent off 16 Oct, Visa Granted 19/10/11, Husband Carpenter/Joiner - Moving to Brisbane North on the 8th of Aug with 3 lovely kids (6, 3 & 1)

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Thanks for you help... my husband walked around sites today to see if there's anything going and still nothing..

He really doesn't want to go home.. I still feel the same tho.. just want to cut our loses and go home.. sounds so silly but I just can't shake the feeling..

 

It's a major culture shock moving here and it certainly took some time for me to feel settled and I'm married to an Aussie and had visited Brisbane several times before relocating here. If you are crying all the time, you may want to see a GP to check that you are not depressed. People who emigrate can get what they call 'situational depression' and you might need some help to get over that. It is quite common and I speak from experience.

 

Have you thought about a two pronged approach to the employment situation? It may be that you can find work and leave your husband at home for the time being with the toddlers until he is able to find work. Just a thought.

 

Also, I would second Alaska's advice that you try to meet up with other Mums with youngsters. The group that Alaska mentioned is a really lovely bunch of ladies and will make you feel very welcome. Try to get out and about and enjoy the sunshine and exercise as this may help your low mood.

 

All the very best.

 

Loopylu

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I agree with Loopylu - your original post sounds like that of someone in depression.....you have been through so many changes & you are home with a one year old....

It's all sooo understandable - the feeling of desperation takes hold of you....

 

I recognize these feelings - not about Australia - but a long time ago I felt just like that about a situation I was in.....

 

Grab hold of all the help being offered on here (what a great bunch of people!) get out as much as you can - the desperation WILL pass & you'll be able to think straight again....

You are NOT alone....

 

Meanwhile, lots of :hug::hug::hug:

Edited by Galahad
Typo

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I don't think 1 month is an unreasonable time to be looking for a job. Your kids are young, they will adapt....if you let them. If your state is passing on to them, they won't be able to settle down and enjoy.

 

May seem pretty dire, but as soon as jobs are sorted it will turn around for you. In the mean time, think about giving your kids the best chance (which I am sure is one of the reasons you decided to move in the first place!), put on a brave and happy face for them, and believe that your hubby will find a job. Some good tips have been posted, and wish you all the best.


ACS assessment: System Analyst ANZSCO 261112 01/12/2011 IELTS: 8.5 overall 30/03/2012

175 online, no agent: 18/04/2012. Meds Finalised: 12/06/2012 (awaiting meds for non-migrating dependent to be finalised) PCC: 25/06/2012 CO: 14/06/2012. VISA GRANT: 01/08/2012 :biggrin:

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Thanks for all the help and advice.. I'm gonna suck it up for now and see how things pan out.. I was just wondering if there was anyone out there that knew it was a wrong idea coming and that stayed for a while but is going home now.. will take it all on board.. I dinr think I'm depressed.. more overwhelmed

.


TRA passed 28/06/10, 176 family sponsored done myself online 15/02/11 , CO Oct, Meds & Police checks done and sent off 16 Oct, Visa Granted 19/10/11, Husband Carpenter/Joiner - Moving to Brisbane North on the 8th of Aug with 3 lovely kids (6, 3 & 1)

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Guest The Ropey HOFF

I hope things work out for you soon, best of luck.

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I genuinely hope your situation improves soon. I'm sure that when (and I say when) you guys get work you'll feel a whole lot better. I also moved to Brissie from Dublin a month ago and although I miss my family and friends I know that the situation in Ireland is so dire that I won't be going back any time soon. I understand that it's an nerve-wracking time as you burn through your savings but things can only get better for you. Are you guys making friends? As I think someone might have said already it's a good way to find work through word of mouth.

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Thanks for all the help and advice.. I'm gonna suck it up for now and see how things pan out.. I was just wondering if there was anyone out there that knew it was a wrong idea coming and that stayed for a while but is going home now.. will take it all on board.. I dinr think I'm depressed.. more overwhelmed

.

 

"Overwhelmed" is more like. Complete change of environment, starting anew, worry about work etc...................enough to overwhelm many, and it does. Stick at it chook and as soon as it seems too overwhelming, then, you are on your way to depression. keep talking here as sometimes just venting and a friendly ear will get you through.

 

kev


See my art here: https://kevindickinsonfineartphot.smugmug.com/

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Ther's no such thing....................not at my Coles anyway. If I made a pair of boots out of their steak, I'd never need another pair.

 

I studied in Vegas back in the day and there was a good butcher in Coles near Merthyr Rd in New Farm.

 

There's also a butcher on the corner of Brunswick St and Coles on the left as you drive down Brunswick St, away from the Valley

 

Might be worth a punt...


31/8/2012: application submitted | 03/09/2012: CC charged | 04/09/2012: CO assigned (SV) | 08/05/2013: medical check done | 16/05/2013: visa granted

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I genuinely hope your situation improves soon. I'm sure that when (and I say when) you guys get work you'll feel a whole lot better. I also moved to Brissie from Dublin a month ago and although I miss my family and friends I know that the situation in Ireland is so dire that I won't be going back any time soon. I understand that it's an nerve-wracking time as you burn through your savings but things can only get better for you. Are you guys making friends? As I think someone might have said already it's a good way to find work through word of mouth.

 

This is key, go out and meet people, locals and other expats.

 

I moved to the UK from Scandinavia almost a decade ago and knew no one here. OK, so it's just an hour on a plane but the moving from one country to another principles are the same.

 

To settle in, I can't stress enough how important it is to go out and meet people to create a network and sense of belonging.

 

I lived in Brisbane and found it quite easy to make friends.

 

People are a bit more forthcoming than in Europe and my experience with the locals are they're intersted in helping anyone fresh off the boat.

 

Just need to get out there and get amongst it...


31/8/2012: application submitted | 03/09/2012: CC charged | 04/09/2012: CO assigned (SV) | 08/05/2013: medical check done | 16/05/2013: visa granted

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Guest Julz

I agree it is vital to make friends however I know new friends don't compensate for the loss you feel for your old friends and family back home and they don't pay the bills either. The key is one of you must find some sort of work and start earning an income then you can start to relax, enjoy yourselves and start living your new life here. I see you have 3 children so you should be entitled to family assistance through Centrelink although it depends on what visa you are on......are you a perm resident? If so, get your paperwork in ASAP.....and before anyone jumps down my throat about benefits this is an entitlement for anyone with children living in Australia (if they are a perm resident). Good luck!

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Work is also key, just something to keep your mind busy and it's another way to network and give your confidence a boost.

 

When I first arrived in the UK I met all my new friends through work and 10 years on we're still friends.

 

Instead of seeing obstacles turn things round and see the Brisbane move as an intersting challenge and adventure... easier said than done, I know, but it's better to focus on the positives..


31/8/2012: application submitted | 03/09/2012: CC charged | 04/09/2012: CO assigned (SV) | 08/05/2013: medical check done | 16/05/2013: visa granted

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Hi tfarrell, Ive been over here for eight months now and those feelings can still come over me out of no where and to be wuite blunt it certainly gets worse around that time of the month, could quite literally jump onto a plane then. And although I don't think those feelings of missing your family will ever go away it does ease with time. I really hope the job situation sorts itself out as I can imagine that is a major cause of your stress at the moment, and limits how settled you can really feel at the moment. I really do believe I have to give it at least two years here before I up and leave. Hope everything works out for you!

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I feel so helpless

Our stuff only arrived today and I spent the day crying

I just want to go home

Kids miss family and I just feel so guilty

Did everyone go through this

If I was handed a ticket home I would be gone

Husband still hasn't got job.. he's applied for anything goin

And rang up places asking for work.. still nothing

Feel really horrible

 

 

Absoultely. Been here 2 years and feel the same and pretty much always have. But give it time. You have made a big move and you know you can go home at any point dont you? Keep that in mind and do your best. Then give up and go home knowing you did your best and be proud of yourselves. Go on, have a go, give it a year and at least travel around and see a few bits (we are going home after 2 years, its been mostly rubbish but i dont regret trying my best)

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I studied in Vegas back in the day and there was a good butcher in Coles near Merthyr Rd in New Farm.

 

There's also a butcher on the corner of Brunswick St and Coles on the left as you drive down Brunswick St, away from the Valley

 

Might be worth a punt...

 

Thanks, but I've found a couple mate that have good meat at half the price of Coles.


See my art here: https://kevindickinsonfineartphot.smugmug.com/

Copies free to PIO members. PM me for details.

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Oh sounds awful to be feeling how you are feeling. My Mr always says tough times don't last, tough people do. It must be very disheartening to be in that situation. I really don't know what to say except i am sure that in the not too distant future you will be much mores settled either way. I guess you will know when it is definitely time to go home or not. Good Luck x x

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