what did people say?

[Guest51810]

apologies if this one has been done before, prob has!

 

when you decided you were moving what did people say/think? it can be anyone.. family, friends, neighbours, work colleagues

 

we're waiting on the all important email/call - hopefully this week. You guys on here know, a small number of family and a few friends aswell.

 

I've found that some people either think that its just a phase and probably wont happen and i've found quite a few people who think its too scary a thing to do.

 

For example - I was in a taxi last night after the pub, the driver wouldnt stop talking and kept asking loads of questions. one of them was where i worked, told him and we both know its quite a crap place to work but a jobs a job. He said "well you dont want to work there forever so what do you want in the future" I said that i was hoping to emigrate and if we get to go i'd like to try something completely new over there if i could.

 

He said bloody hell thats a big move and then kept saying things like "what if you dont like it", i said well i'd try and give it 2 years and then come back home if i really didnt like it and that i'd rather give it a shot and find out i didnt like it (or did!) than regret it when i was older and maybe had kids, mortgage etc.. he just grunted and that seemed to shut him up :laugh:

 

 

Maybe a pointless thread but just wondered what others peoples experiences were! Im luckily that my family seem quite keen for us to take this opportunity (if we get it). I know some peoples families arent as understanding or at least first. Must be very hard.

[calNgary]

Thankfully for us, family and the majority of friends were supportive with a few wishing they could move too,lol. We did have a few friends who went abit strange on us but maybe this was their way of dealing with us going, i really dont know but i didnt allow it to spoil my last few months in the UK.

 

Cal x

[Guest Guest66881]

We told no one, we waited until we had been given the green light by the authorities and passed all meds etc.

My best friend at work was stunned when i told him our plans, as was Debs colleges.

The children found out the day we got our visas approved, and they all looked stunned but excited, the little ones didn't know what was going on then lol.

When it spread around my work place that i was moving down under some of them just said 'yeah right', as we did intend moving to Spain a few years earlier (so glad that never happened).

When i finally told my gaffer he was very upset to be honest, but at the same time he could see why we had to do it, and wished us all the best, and if the company was still trading if we ever came back my old job was there, regardless (which was really nice).

They are still trading and doing fine, i send and receive the odd mail from the gaffer, nice bloke.

[Guest51810]

Thankfully for us, family and the majority of friends were supportive with a few wishing they could move too,lol. We did have a few friends who went abit strange on us but maybe this was their way of dealing with us going, i really dont know but i didnt allow it to spoil my last few months in the UK.

 

Cal x

 

I had one friend (sometimes i dont even like calling her that!) who said " i dont understand why you'd want to move over and leave everybody behind just to go with one person" bit strange.. it's not like im moving with someone i just met lol. and then she started making me feel guilty that i'll have to leave my pets behind with daves mum.. very low of her. My mum and dad have been fine, my grans been fine too - maybe they just think it wont happen.. who knows. Im a only child and close to my mum so it'll be really hard if the time comes to leave. They would never tell me not to go though

[Guest51810]

We told no one, we waited until we had been given the green light by the authorities and passed all meds etc.

My best friend at work was stunned when i told him our plans, as was Debs colleges.

The children found out the day we got our visas approved, and they all looked stunned but excited, the little ones didn't know what was going on then lol.

When it spread around my work place that i was moving down under some of them just said 'yeah right', as we did intend moving to Spain a few years earlier (so glad that never happened).

When i finally told my gaffer he was very upset to be honest, but at the same time he could see why we had to do it, and wished us all the best, and if the company was still trading if we ever came back my old job was there, regardless (which was really nice).

They are still trading and doing fine, i send and receive the odd mail from the gaffer, nice bloke.

 

I should never of said anything untill we got a yes but i've got a big mouth :laugh: its good that your still mates with your boss, if you were ever to move back then you know your jobs still there. Bet your glad you never moved to spain!!

[Guest guest36187]

We had the full works!

 

Some didnt talk about it completely.

Some couldnt stop talking about it

Some couldnt work out why we were going

Some told us `youll never see us again you know`

Some told us they were jealous that they didnt have the guts to do it!

Some never asked us anything about it for fear of upsetting us or someone else.

 

The best person adn most supportive....................my seventy something Nanna who said `you`re a long time dead , you have one life and have to go for it.`. As we pulled out of her driveway she said to me `And I promised myself I wouldnt cry`. She didnt!

 

The best `goodbye` we had........driving from my parents house (Ely at the time) down the M11 side by side with my brother in his car. We stayed together the whole way down til he had to turn off while we went onto Heathrow. My last vision was him hanging out his car window shouting adn waving! Priceless x x

[Guest51810]

We had the full works!

 

Some didnt talk about it completely.

Some couldnt stop talking about it

Some couldnt work out why we were going

Some told us `youll never see us again you know`

Some told us they were jealous that they didnt have the guts to do it!

Some never asked us anything about it for fear of upsetting us or someone else.

 

The best person adn most supportive....................my seventy something Nanna who said `you`re a long time dead , you have one life and have to go for it.`. As we pulled out of her driveway she said to me `And I promised myself I wouldnt cry`. She didnt!

 

The best `goodbye` we had........driving from my parents house (Ely at the time) down the M11 side by side with my brother in his car. We stayed together the whole way down til he had to turn off while we went onto Heathrow. My last vision was him hanging out his car window shouting adn waving! Priceless x x

 

wow thats definitely a selection!

[Guest]

Everyone who knows us knows my hubby is an Aussie so most have always known its likely we'd be heading that one day. So it wasn't a surprise for those we've told. My parents are of course sad we are going but understand and support us completely. My mother long ago realised I was never going to settle in the UK for the long term and we've both appreciated the years I've been back here but she admits she always knew I would leave again.

 

I think the hardest thing for my parents and me is that their grandson will no longer be so close by. But they are planning to visit once or twice a year at least for the next few years and tbh will have more quality time with their grandson doing that than they do now. We only see them about once a month for a day and once son starts school it may be even less as we'll only have weekends and holidays. But they appreciate they had the first five years or so with him and got to see him and be around for those important years and the bond is well and truly there between them and I know it will continue. We've managed it with hubby's mum in Aus being the overseas Grandma and our son loves her annual visits and so on and as he's grown up with the Skype thing and her not being around ona regular basis so on he doesn't find it strange or weird like maybe kids moving away from all their family and having to use it.

 

My friends are all for our move. They appreciate our reasons and think we'd be mad to at least not go for a few years. And as we've not said 'Its forever' or anything we don't feel its a move or bust or we would be returning with our tails between our legs or anything like that should we decide to return from Aus to the UK in the future. If anything it is part of the plan to do so but we are not setting anything in stone and we are happy to see where life leads us.

[Guest51810]

Everyone who knows us knows my hubby is an Aussie so most have always known its likely we'd be heading that one day. So it wasn't a surprise for those we've told. My parents are of course sad we are going but understand and support us completely. My mother long ago realised I was never going to settle in the UK for the long term and we've both appreciated the years I've been back here but she admits she always knew I would leave again.

 

I think the hardest thing for my parents and me is that their grandson will no longer be so close by. But they are planning to visit once or twice a year at least for the next few years and tbh will have more quality time with their grandson doing that than they do now. We only see them about once a month for a day and once son starts school it may be even less as we'll only have weekends and holidays. But they appreciate they had the first five years or so with him and got to see him and be around for those important years and the bond is well and truly there between them and I know it will continue. We've managed it with hubby's mum in Aus being the overseas Grandma and our son loves her annual visits and so on and as he's grown up with the Skype thing and her not being around ona regular basis so on he doesn't find it strange or weird like maybe kids moving away from all their family and having to use it.

 

My friends are all for our move. They appreciate our reasons and think we'd be mad to at least not go for a few years. And as we've not said 'Its forever' or anything we don't feel its a move or bust or we would be returning with our tails between our legs or anything like that should we decide to return from Aus to the UK in the future. If anything it is part of the plan to do so but we are not setting anything in stone and we are happy to see where life leads us.

 

It's good that you have that much support! like you say - they probably expected it anyway since your oh is australian. It's good that you can try both countries as much as you want!

[ali]

My dad was a bit tearful, but said we were making a good decision, he had the chance to work abroad when younger but my mum wouldn't leave her mum and the opportunity didn't come around again. My friend was devestated and just kept saying "I won't see your children grow up" ... ironically, she's sent very few emails since we've been here.

My hubbys family didn't say much, although one of his brothers said they would visit and they did.

My brother asked if I know how much it would cost me to visit him in Brissy (as we were going to Perth), I told him the same as it would for him to visit me lol

[Guest51810]

My dad was a bit tearful, but said we were making a good decision, he had the chance to work abroad when younger but my mum wouldn't leave her mum and the opportunity didn't come around again. My friend was devestated and just kept saying "I won't see your children grow up" ... ironically, she's sent very few emails since we've been here.

My hubbys family didn't say much, although one of his brothers said they would visit and they did.

My brother asked if I know how much it would cost me to visit him in Brissy (as we were going to Perth), I told him the same as it would for him to visit me lol

 

My dad said the same as yours because my grandad had the chance to go to canada but my gran decided at the last minute that she couldnt leave and i think they regretted it. think it definitely shows who your real friends are eh!? has your brother came over? x

[Guest trasi]

we go in 3 weeks and i prob haven't dealt with it very well..... ive spent this whole process with massive blinkers on and wearing a heart of stone just to avoid thinking about what we are doing to the people we are leaving behind....... i have to deal with it like this, otherwise i wud never get on the plane......i am an only child, my mum is a widow, so i am taking everything away from her, me and her only 4 grand children...... she doesn't want us to go, but is being 'brave' but i know she is crying every day ....... i know i am literally breaking her heart......... even now with 3 weeks to go, i cant think about her or anyone cos i cudnt deal with it.......and i feel i have to be strong for the kids. My OH's family have also been supported, but they've been crying cos deep down they are losing their grandchildren too.

 

Its tough stacey and everyone deals with it differently..... i know, for me, as ive bottled every emotion up inside, i am due a day (on my own) when i will just break down and cry non-stop :sad:

[Guest51810]

we go in 3 weeks and i prob haven't dealt with it very well..... ive spent this whole process with massive blinkers on and wearing a heart of stone just to avoid thinking about what we are doing to the people we are leaving behind....... i have to deal with it like this, otherwise i wud never get on the plane......i am an only child, my mum is a widow, so i am taking everything away from her, me and her only 4 grand children...... she doesn't want us to go, but is being 'brave' but i know she is crying every day ....... i know i am literally breaking her heart......... even now with 3 weeks to go, i cant think about her or anyone cos i cudnt deal with it.......and i feel i have to be strong for the kids. My OH's family have also been supported, but they've been crying cos deep down they are losing their grandchildren too.

 

Its tough stacey and everyone deals with it differently..... i know, for me, as ive bottled every emotion up inside, i am due a day (on my own) when i will just break down and cry non-stop :sad:

 

 

Thats heartbreaking :sad: :hug: Just cry as much as you need to, it must be so hard when theres grandkids involved. I suppose im lucky that way. It'll be very hard but im sure it'll will get a bit better in time. Will your mum and your oh's parents be able to visit? x

[Guest trasi]

my mum and my OHs dad have a fear of flying :err: I think my mum 'might' eventually get on a plane, (if she is drugged up enough ) but dad in law def wouldnt.

Thank god for skype...... doesn't replace cuddles, but will have to suffice....... xmas is gonna be the worst...... my mum has spent every xmas with me since i can remember, and thought of her spending alone it alone this year is heartbreaking....... im gonna have to pack this ole heart of mine with lots more steel :frown:

[evy78]

my mum and my OHs dad have a fear of flying :err: I think my mum 'might' eventually get on a plane, (if she is drugged up enough ) but dad in law def wouldnt.

Thank god for skype...... doesn't replace cuddles, but will have to suffice....... xmas is gonna be the worst...... my mum has spent every xmas with me since i can remember, and thought of her spending alone it alone this year is heartbreaking....... im gonna have to pack this ole heart of mine with lots more steel :frown:

 

i can vouch 4 that last bit,her mum has been there every bloody xmas lol

[Guest51810]

my mum and my OHs dad have a fear of flying :err: I think my mum 'might' eventually get on a plane, (if she is drugged up enough ) but dad in law def wouldnt.

Thank god for skype...... doesn't replace cuddles, but will have to suffice....... xmas is gonna be the worst...... my mum has spent every xmas with me since i can remember, and thought of her spending alone it alone this year is heartbreaking....... im gonna have to pack this ole heart of mine with lots more steel :frown:

 

What if they were to go to that hypnothreapy for fear of flying? either that or they'll need to take medication. Hopefully it wont stop them coming over. Skype will definitely help you, its good that we have things like that these days. I know its not the same as a cuddle but can you imagine what it must of been like when you could only send letters! :hug:

[Guest51810]

i can vouch 4 that last bit,her mum has been there every bloody xmas lol

 

i forgot you two were married! lol im sure you love your MIL being there at xmas :tongue: hopefully she'll be able to spend more of them with you all

[Guest]

my mum and my OHs dad have a fear of flying :err: I think my mum 'might' eventually get on a plane, (if she is drugged up enough ) but dad in law def wouldnt.

 

 

I have a fear of flying but I somehow manage to get on a plane every time though I don't relax and enjoy it one bit. I never used to mind it as I flew about 20 times a year but then I stopped flying for a couple of years and the next time I got on a plane I hated it. Thing was, one time it was a make or break thing for our relationship and I did the long haul flight to Aus on my own to see BF (now hubby) and actually it showed me if I wanted something bad enough, I could and would get on with it. I found it far easier flying alone than I do with my family or friends also.

[Guest guest17301]

Exactly same reactions as you've had Stace. I hope it comes off for you, you will love it, I know. x

[Guest51810]

Exactly same reactions as you've had Stace. I hope it comes off for you, you will love it, I know. x

 

Hopefully! the way in might not be the best because of the roster but hopefully things will change in the future, we'd try our best to make it work! x

[fifi69]

Apart from immediate family i told no one until 3 days after our shipping had gone and 2 days after OH left. I just knew i would get asked the same questions over and over again by loads of different people for months on end if i said anything too far in advance. Im a bit of a funny bugger like that, its like come the 1st of October everyone seems to start asking if i was ready for it (xmas), when no im not and neither i will be untill last week in Dec:mad:

So basically people had 3 weeks notice that i was leaving. Seemed to work out well, only one "friend" went a bit funny. Although the family were sad they knew we were doing the right thing. As for the flying, there is no one more nervous than me, but its like what has been said, i did it because i knew there was something good at the end of it. Also the happy pills helped:biggrin:

[oz bound pom]

Well apart from the expected dissapointment of my parents who obviously dont want to see their grandson move to other side of the world and other immediate family who have barely mentioned it, nearly everyone else thinks it's fantastic and wish they could do it too. Whether they would if they had the chance would be another question entirely. Had some of the usual ''it's not all it's portrayed on tv to be you know blah blah blah'' and unless you are pretty blinkered I think most people know that, but if you have the chance of something in this life I firmly believe you'd be a fool not to grasp it and give it a go. If we hate it, we hate it and will find somewhere we like to live, but better to have tried something and regret it etc etc...

 

Whilst supportive, some people have obviously got a bit of the green eyed monster with some comments but we understand it's our decision and other people don't have to like it, just accept it.

 

My parents came out with ''well we'll never be able to visit you, too expensive'' and then two weeks later bought a new car. Now whilst i don't begrudge them a new car, it's their money and they can do whatever they like with it, I think it's clear ''too expensive'' is just code for can't be ar$ed!!

[Tulip]

I had to do it really, really carefully. I knew my mum would refuse it and even tell me I wouldn't, couldn't go. And she did. First I mentioned we might in say, five years time. Then a month or so later, I said 'Well we think we might go out a little sooner so Mark can go to Uni again.'. Then, 'Well we're thinking we'll go some time after the wedding.'. Then, finally, 'We're planning for after the wedding, probably by about six months or so. You know the visa takes forever and we're taking Maisy...'. It took months even after that for her to talk about it, and even then, it would only be negative. I still say things about Aus that are negative, just to make her feel better about it. The other night I said 'We'll probably move back again before we start a family.' but I didn't mean it. Sometimes you have to tell lies to make people feel better.

 

Only now, about a year after we first mentioned it, has she finally accepted it and talks about it without bitterness. My brother is out there too and has been for a couple of years; think that makes it both easier and harder. He's the favourite of the family so I was shocked when recently she told me she would miss me more than she misses him. Makes me well up just thinking about it to be honest, my mum and I are very alike, and it's quite a fiery relationship, but when I think about being in Aus and not being able to see her, or her being hurt because I'm not there. It breaks my heart to tell you the truth. Always been like that, even when I was a little girl and went to boarding school. Something she said to me before I left, about the dawn chorus... I know now that whenever I hear the birds in the morning I'll think of her and miss her.

 

But I love Australia and she understands that. I can't wait to be there and so long as I have Mark and my little dog, I'll be ok.

[Guest51810]

Thanks guys! some very interesting posts. Like someone else mentioned - daves the type who would also tell people 3 days before we left! ive got too much of a big mouth to do that!

 

Ozboundpom - hopefully they'll come visit you, sure they dont mean they cant be ar$ed. Maybe they'll get a cheap deal. my parents have also said "we dont know if we'll afford to come over" but continue to waste money on cigarettes (their words!) im sure they'll try their best and i'd probably be able to help pay it aswell. They wont come over together though or else they'd end up killing each other!

[Guest Shell15]

Generally my oh family have all been good about it... Except his father! All of a sudden he has 2 years to live and a heart condition which means he cant fly! He keeps telling the kids that our life will never be as good as it is here, we wont find work, my parents wont see them .... Blah blah blah. Annoys me really, i see him as being extremely selfish and he forgets the years i have given to the UK. Its my turn to be selfish and I'm determined not to let it get to me, although yesterday i nearly phoned to give a piece of my mind but reached for a bottle of wine instead!! It worked.... For now anyway aargh!