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Is it lonelier living in a big city vs. living in a small town?


Sol2Oz

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What do you think?

 

I was born and raised in a big city and while I was in school and belonged to a church, it was extremely easy to make friends. Fast forward a good amount of years later, when I divorced and lost the attention of my husband and his friends, I found it much harder to make friends.

 

The thing is that I know of people who are in the exact same situation as myself -(having a very sparse family, living alone, etc) but the difference is that they have many friends even from childhood who still contact them even after a marital split. I find this to be the case with aussies especially - have you all noticed how they always seem to have friends?

 

I'm trying to determine if it's because I live in a big city that I have this problem. I find that people are usually more interested in careers, their families, (which is understandable) and that if they're in my same situation as being single, that all they care about is incessant dating - which is of no interest to me.

 

Sometimes I compare it to being in the middle of the ocean on a life raft waiting to be rescued from a ship disaster: Surrounded by water but with nothing to drink. In similar ways, living in a big city is like being surrounded by many people but with no one to really connect with.

 

I'm not sad (at least not at the moment lol)- but I am curious as to whether my theory holds true. And by the way, it's not about taking up a hobby, because I"m currently in school getting a Masters, I work full time, and I also go to the gym. But once again, people are just so busy and not interested in spending quality time unless it has to do with their hooking up or money. :no:

 

Thoughts??

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I have never lived in a big city, and to be honest avoid if possible. I can only give the `small town` view. We moved to Alice springs from Eastbourne in the Uk. We have made plenty of friends, mostly to start of with amongst other migrants in the same boat, than among Australians, the wife after having her first child here found it very easy to make friends but in the Uk was a real introvert. We are thinking of heading to rural WA soon, to another small town so will find out what small town life is like there.

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I'd feel lonelier in a small town tbh, think i'm more of a city girl, BUT, not too big a city. Couldn't live some where like Brisbane or Sydney.

 

Thank you from Brisbane...not often we're put in the same big city category with Sydney, it feels very exciting... :laugh::wubclub:

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I live in Kalgoorlie at the moment and have found it relatively easy to make friends here, both amongst Australians and other immigrants. I joined a hockey team which definitely helps, especially one that doesn't take itself too seriously and finds time to do lots of social events and get-togethers. I have lived in Vancouver before and found it immensely hard to make friends, the only person I still keep in touch with I met through work and she doesn't live in Vancouver! Part of the reason we left Vancouver was that it had a huge faceless city feel to it that we just couldn't get on with.

 

Prior to that we lived in much more rural areas of the UK in Cornwall, Peak District and Devon and I prefer that setting most of all. Being part of village life is a wonderful thing and in general you don't have to try to hard to make friends, unless you come across as insular towny types in which case you should go back to the town!

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