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Lancashire Lass

Think carefully.....wish we'd never come here.

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We emigrated to Australia in 2009 with so much excitement about our new future, now two and a half years down the line I really wish we hadn't come. Don't get me wrong, there are many things I love about this place but you just can't forsee how your heart can be torn in two wanting to be in two places at once.

 

8 months ago my husband collapsed at home and at the hospital they found a brain tumour. He has since had extensive brain surgery and we have been told the brain cancer will come back at some stage. He had never really settled here but now that this has happened he wants to consider moving back to the UK. Me and the kids love our life here but we are prepared to look at moving back, expecially since my oldest daughter and grandson are living in the UK.

 

The reason I wish we had never come is that I know I will miss this place terribly, but then again I also miss the UK and my daughter and grandson. While I live here I miss so much from back home, but if we live in the UK I would miss so much about our lifestyle in Perth.

 

It would have been so much easier if we had just been a bit more satisfied wth our old life in the UK and not followed this yellow brick road to OZ.


Vetassess paper app sent 19/11/08 (passed 12/12/08), Practical 16/2/09 (passed 19/2/09), Applied WA SS 26/2/09 (granted 08/04/09), Applied for 176 visa 10/4/09, meds 16/4/09, CO 23/4/09 VISA GRANTED 21/5/09!!! Flying 13/09/09

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Guest JK2510

Im very sorry to hear your story.....but perhaps a move back to the uk would be a good idea....plenty of family support around at the times you need it most. :hug:

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I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. Have a chat to Petals on here, her daughter has been through this and come out the other side, she is a lovely lady and helped me recently when they thought my son may have a brain tumour.

As to which way to go, it's a hard one, could you go back on a holiday to see what you both think before making the huge step.

hugs :hug:

K


If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.

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Really sorry to hear about your hubby and i totally understand why in that situation you would want to move back to the UK were your family and friends are, i think i would do the same.. At least you have had fun and an adventure whilst here, noone can predict the future, you can only do whats right at the time.

Big Hugs

 

Cal x


If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place...

If you get a chance,take it, If it changes your life,let it. Nobody said it would be easy they just said it would be worth it...

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So sorry to hear about your husband. It must have been a terrifying time for you all.

 

I'm with M2M on this, could you afford to go back for a holiday to reassess the situation.

 

I send my love & prayers to you all. Jxxxx

 

:hug:


' Life is but a fleeting moment.....so do not waste a second on something that doesn't make you smile.' :wubclub:

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Sorry to hear about your husbands condition. It must be a really difficult decision to make for you all. What I would say as someone who has moved back and regretted it, is that it is a big risk as you don't know how you will feel until you get here.

 

I know a lot of people on here will say do what your heart tells you, but in contrast you should think carefully about what you would be giving up. You say that you and the kids love it out there and that surely must make a difference to your husbands happiness too. Also consider the stress of coming back to the UK with everything to sort out.

 

I do hope you make the right decision.

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Sorry to hear about your husbands condition. It must be a really difficult decision to make for you all. What I would say as someone who has moved back and regretted it, is that it is a big risk as you don't know how you will feel until you get here.

 

I know a lot of people on here will say do what your heart tells you, but in contrast you should think carefully about what you would be giving up. You say that you and the kids love it out there and that surely must make a difference to your husbands happiness too. Also consider the stress of coming back to the UK with everything to sort out.

 

I do hope you make the right decision.

 

Thanks everyone. Yes Jasepom, that's exactly the dilemma not knowing if we are going to be making the right decision or not. We are trying to save up for a holiday back there next year to (hopefully) help us decide. At the end of the day though nobody knows what is round the corner and I guess life is what you make it. I guess one day I will just have to stop chasing after the happiness that is probably right under my nose. :frown:


Vetassess paper app sent 19/11/08 (passed 12/12/08), Practical 16/2/09 (passed 19/2/09), Applied WA SS 26/2/09 (granted 08/04/09), Applied for 176 visa 10/4/09, meds 16/4/09, CO 23/4/09 VISA GRANTED 21/5/09!!! Flying 13/09/09

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Guest

at the this moment in time you will be feeling very low, you will need plenty of family around you to give you support and help you get by, I wish you all the best, have a safe journey home.

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Really sorry to hear that Lancashire Lass.:hug:


IELTS 02/12 = 9's, AQF III 31/05/12, TRA Ass 14/11/12, EOI Submitted 14/11/12, Invite Received 15/11/12, 489 FS Lodged 29/11/12, CO Assigned 01/01/13, Meds 17/01/13 Grant 02/04/2013 189 Independent Visa Invitation 22/04/13, VISA GRANT 01/05/13

Arrived in Perth 09/10/13

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That is so hard for you all and I can understand you want close family around you and friends that you have known for a long time. You will miss your life in Australia, that's for sure but you must follow your deepest feelings and as they say in the old cliche 'home is where the heart is'. Hope everything turns out well for you and your family.

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We emigrated to Australia in 2009 with so much excitement about our new future, now two and a half years down the line I really wish we hadn't come. Don't get me wrong, there are many things I love about this place but you just can't forsee how your heart can be torn in two wanting to be in two places at once.

 

8 months ago my husband collapsed at home and at the hospital they found a brain tumour. He has since had extensive brain surgery and we have been told the brain cancer will come back at some stage. He had never really settled here but now that this has happened he wants to consider moving back to the UK. Me and the kids love our life here but we are prepared to look at moving back, expecially since my oldest daughter and grandson are living in the UK.

 

The reason I wish we had never come is that I know I will miss this place terribly, but then again I also miss the UK and my daughter and grandson. While I live here I miss so much from back home, but if we live in the UK I would miss so much about our lifestyle in Perth.

 

It would have been so much easier if we had just been a bit more satisfied wth our old life in the UK and not followed this yellow brick road to OZ.

 

Not sure what the answer is, just to offer some support. Be a real challenge being torn between x2 countries. Guess it comes down to where you would get the most support? Is there anyway you could go between the x2? does it have to be one or the other?

 

If you do move back, be advisable to have a comprehensive plan, how will you & the kids benefit as well? Otherwise a move back to the UK could be doomed from the start, especially if you are going back not really wanting too & is how resentment has the potential to set in.

 

Not sure what to advise for the best. Sure things will come together & the answers will come. Good luck.

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Sorry to hear of this Lancashire Lass.I really hope and pray all goes better for you and your Family in the future.Best of Luck.

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I came back to the UK when my aussie boyfriend dumped me whilst pregnant with our daughter.

At the time it probably was the right move but there's not a day gone by over the past 12 years that I haven't regreted coming back to the UK.

Just look around you and don't make any rash decisions, it's tougher because you have a child in the UK and I cannot imagine what that must be like to be apart from your daughter however you have got other children to consider.

All the best to you

xxx

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Hi Lancashire Lass, I'm so sorry to hear this. I can completely understand how you feel as my husband has just been diagnoised with a benign brain tumour. Although it's non cancerous it will continue to grow so he to will have to undergo major brain surgery at some point it the future.

 

We are due to move to Oz in July and now don't know what to do. My husband is desperate to continue with the move but I am worried about lots of things. I PM'd Petals who was very helpful.

 

All the best, if you want to PM me to share thoughts and just generally off load please feel free to.

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We emigrated to Australia in 2009 with so much excitement about our new future, now two and a half years down the line I really wish we hadn't come. Don't get me wrong, there are many things I love about this place but you just can't forsee how your heart can be torn in two wanting to be in two places at once.

 

8 months ago my husband collapsed at home and at the hospital they found a brain tumour. He has since had extensive brain surgery and we have been told the brain cancer will come back at some stage. He had never really settled here but now that this has happened he wants to consider moving back to the UK. Me and the kids love our life here but we are prepared to look at moving back, expecially since my oldest daughter and grandson are living in the UK.

 

The reason I wish we had never come is that I know I will miss this place terribly, but then again I also miss the UK and my daughter and grandson. While I live here I miss so much from back home, but if we live in the UK I would miss so much about our lifestyle in Perth.

 

It would have been so much easier if we had just been a bit more satisfied wth our old life in the UK and not followed this yellow brick road to OZ.

 

I feel for you with your dilemma. However I think your oh having had a brain tumor that has been treated successfully should stick with his doctors.

 

My daughter has brain cancer although she is 8 years free and its one that they say will/can return. I am so pleased with her doctors, she has such a routine with them, they never miss a beat in her care, they make all her appointments for mris and remind her to come in and get checked. She can choose how often she is checked and now she elects to be checked once a year, however if she wanted three monthly checks she could have them. No problem. She is a public patient so no cost to her. Are you sure with the NHS approach to health and different trusts allowing some treatments and withholding others that your oh would have the same care.

 

My sisterinlaw was high up in the NHS and decided on where docs went etc etc and therefore I do know a bit about the politics of it and I prefer our Aussie way of just dealing with whatever is thrown at them with no questions asked about money being available for the treatment.

 

Good luck


Petals

:ssign15:taking no prisoners :wink:

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Thank you Petals, yes this is a big consideration. I would be nervous about him being treated in the NHS system. I cannot fault the medical team who have helped him in Perth, they are lifesavers, and it's all been free of charge as public patients. I think I certainly need to do some research on who and how he would be treated back home. It's very encouraging to hear your daughter has been 8 years free. Still early days for us, next MRI in October so fingers crossed.


Vetassess paper app sent 19/11/08 (passed 12/12/08), Practical 16/2/09 (passed 19/2/09), Applied WA SS 26/2/09 (granted 08/04/09), Applied for 176 visa 10/4/09, meds 16/4/09, CO 23/4/09 VISA GRANTED 21/5/09!!! Flying 13/09/09

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Thank you Petals, yes this is a big consideration. I would be nervous about him being treated in the NHS system. I cannot fault the medical team who have helped him in Perth, they are lifesavers, and it's all been free of charge as public patients. I think I certainly need to do some research on who and how he would be treated back home. It's very encouraging to hear your daughter has been 8 years free. Still early days for us, next MRI in October so fingers crossed.

 

Good luck, my daughter had an operation, radiation treatment and chemo. She also trusts her docs and you never know if you are going to like them do you.


Petals

:ssign15:taking no prisoners :wink:

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Guest lilmissp

So sorry about your Husband, Probably you would have been happy if circumstances had have been different, but right now you probably just need some family support. Can your family or your husbands come out to see you? I wish you the best and hope your hubby makes a full recovery. There is a singer from England who has came through 3 brain tumours and he is doing great now, I think his name is Russel Watson his story may give you some hope and inspiration. x

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thinking of you, best of luck and i hope you find the health and happiness you all deserve

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Life would be so much easier if we all had crystal balls. Hope things work out for you and your family and that you will be happy - wherever you end up.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Thoughts are with you and your family......really do feel for you to be in this position. xx


Sue (44) Steve (51) Scott (17) Bradley (9) Sophie (5)

Jake - Little Ozzie Angel:angel_happy_face_ha

Spouse visa (PR) granted 17.4.09. In Secret Harbour 29.4.09..loving it!!!!!

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