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mrsindecision

once linked to oz always linked to oz

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Because we moved to oz with three kids I was lucky that they all came back with us. My middle one was adamant about coming back to the Uk at 18 - now he's 20 and has been back to Oz to see all of his friends on a visit - he loved it again and I think is now planning to return.

 

Also my husband has not settled since we came back - but was equally ( in fact more) unsettled there.

 

I am just about over this nagging connection with Australia that I think will be with me forever. Would I feel so bad about my son if we had never gone and he went backpacking? Will my husband ever settle here without resenting something about being back.

 

Although it was a fabulous experience there are times when I wish we had never bothered.

 

Any words of insight - anyone else got the same stuff happening?

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From my families experience, includes other family members, once people move abroad, its in the blood and with my Dad it was always another adventure. One of my best friends here, English, has lived in Spain, Canada, Saudi, South Africa and now they are here. They are staying here. She loved Candada but as her oh had to work outside he would not stay there.

 

My oh brother lives in NZ, we live in Aus, my Uncle moved to Aus, my oh Uncle moved to Aus, another cousin lives in Canberra, my Aunt lives in the USA, my cousin in France.

 

Its in the blood and it does not go away. If I had to move again, it would be another adventure but not likely to happen now, old bones.


Petals

:ssign15:taking no prisoners :wink:

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It's been 55 years since we first migrated to Oz in 1957, and next March we'll be going back for the third time (my husband and I were both 17yrs old the first time round - although we didn't meet (and marry) until 1960).

 

We married in Sydney and our daughter was born there in 1961, when we returned to England.

 

In 1974, with two children aged 9 and 11, we returned - this time to Adelaide, where we lived for the next 19 years, during which time we had a great social life, great jobs and made lots of great friends (who are still our friends all these years later). We loved our lives in Adelaide.

 

For personal reasons I won't go into here, my husband and I returned in 1993, and have lived in England since then. However, last December, we were again granted Permanent Residency (after a stressful eight months and with the help of two MARA agents) and will be returning next March, when - because we never applied for Citizenship during the nearly 24 years we lived in Oz - we'll apply for Citizenship after the qualifying period, and cannot wait! We'll have dual nationality at long last and wish we'd done it years ago.

 

There's no doubt about it, Australia gets under your skin. We love England and we love Australia, and once we get our Citizenship will be very proud to have dual nationality.

 

The majority of naturalised Poms feel the same way, I know, and I expect it will always be that way for you, too.

 

We'll never lose our British nationality; we'll just have the bonus of being Aussies, too.

 

I wish you well in life, wherever you choose to live. x

 

 

 

Because we moved to oz with three kids I was lucky that they all came back with us. My middle one was adamant about coming back to the Uk at 18 - now he's 20 and has been back to Oz to see all of his friends on a visit - he loved it again and I think is now planning to return.

 

Also my husband has not settled since we came back - but was equally ( in fact more) unsettled there.

 

I am just about over this nagging connection with Australia that I think will be with me forever. Would I feel so bad about my son if we had never gone and he went backpacking? Will my husband ever settle here without resenting something about being back.

 

Although it was a fabulous experience there are times when I wish we had never bothered.

 

Any words of insight - anyone else got the same stuff happening?

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Good thread. I have no doubt my kids will one day want to return to OZ. We are so grateful that we all have oz citizenship....at least we have the choice to follow later on.

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Lots of Brits and Aussies have dual nationality - they love both places, and that's okay. Relatives of mine have come back and forth between the two places and have kids spread across them. The hardest thing is the great distance between Aus and UK, otherwise it wouldn't be such a problem. I hate that trip, have done it a few times now, and it never gets easier - last time I had the plane held up it was 27hours door to door. Aaagh !


If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”

John Quincy Adams

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Because we moved to oz with three kids I was lucky that they all came back with us. My middle one was adamant about coming back to the Uk at 18 - now he's 20 and has been back to Oz to see all of his friends on a visit - he loved it again and I think is now planning to return.

 

Also my husband has not settled since we came back - but was equally ( in fact more) unsettled there.

 

 

I am just about over this nagging connection with Australia that I think will be with me forever. Would I feel so bad about my son if we had never gone and he went backpacking? Will my husband ever settle here without resenting something about being back.

 

Although it was a fabulous experience there are times when I wish we had never bothered.

 

Any words of insight - anyone else got the same stuff happening?

 

Do you have any unfinished business there so to speak? or are you happy with the way things have turned out?

Only reason I ask is, that for us (hubby & I) it is complete, there is no "what if we had of done that" or "what if we had of done this," so have closure & acceptance. (thankfully!)

 

Your son is at a fabulous age to go for an adventure, not sure as many Brits do it as Aussies & Kiwis but they should. When I was in Nz so many youngsters left for London to go on their "OE" (0verseas experience) was very much part of life's experiences. What was great about it I noticed was, those that returned had a new appreciation for their homeland. (something I can truely relate too now, never been so patriotic as I am now!)

 

Re; hubby, might be worth delving further, what's making him unsettled? is it the area you live? or is it that he feels you didnt give it enough? is it the travel bug? what did he enjoy about Oz that could be replicated in this part of the world? Does he need something to get his teeth into/a goal? #

 

I think when you embark on the emmigration process to Oz/Nz etc it really is something to "get your teeth stuck into" but when you return to UK, really can create a "what now?" & a bit of a life contemplation, without something to work towards...

 

I know we will always have a connection with Oz, both kids were born there, (will encourage them to go see where they were born & see Oz) but glad to be home because I feel when they do go out explore & spread their wings, they will also have a fab base & firm roots to return back too.

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I dont know that it is Australia as much as having been adventurous in the past. Australia will always be there for us because DH was born there and I doubt my daughter in law would ever move with the kids even if my son would - she isnt an adventurer whereas he is more of one. I am resigned to having grandkids on both sides of the world and me somewhere in the middle going backwards and forwards.

 

I think once you have the itch under your skin it is very hard to settle anywhere - and, really, would you want your kids to settle? I'd be happier if they weighed up their opportunities and took the best one then it is up to them to decide where they want to spend the rest of their lives. At this stage your son could well end up in Hollywood or Bollywood (or wherever else the good opportunities are!) and Australia may just be a stepping stone. When you get older though, you probably do have to make the decision but bear in mind - wherever you go, there you are and if there is something within you which you are trying to run away from, then that isnt going to work.

 

Other people's indecisions are always going to be unsettling.

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Mine is the opposite, I was born in the UK, but lived in Oz continually since I was 3 (I'm now 41). I went back to the UK a couple of years ago for the first time, and since coming back to Oz, I can't get the UK out of my mind. I love it there, (including the cold, rain, and people moaning about the economy) and there is a daily nag for me to return, so I'm currently saving like crazy to make it happen. I do have unfinished business there, a lot of it to see and things I need to do.

 

Once you have been somewhere in the world, especially somewhere you felt a connection, that link will always be there. Sometimes it's very deep seeded.

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Hi People, this is my first time I've joined in with a thread, just felt I had to share my experience with you. We've been back from Sydney Australia

for about 2 years, we spent about 15 months in Oz, enjoyed the weather, outdoor life, my two sons came with us, one 16, the other 8, I didn't work straight away, but became really bored so went to work after 4 months, kids seemed settled, the home sickness hit me around month 8, everything that was english reminded me of home, I even missed the seasons, then my mother told me she wouldn't be coming to visit me, also my mother in law said the same, which was like the last straw! we decided to move back, husband really didn't want to at first but decided we should, my husband says "Sydney is the only place that feels like home" so you can imagine how guilty I feel!

 

We're doing ok back in the Uk, but we do have a nagging connection with Australia now, husband is a IT contractor, his old company from Oz are always emailing him to go over, tempting him with high salaries, this past week husband has been in talks with his old company about a 6 month contract, I feel excited, but scared, I won't be going with him if he agrees to go, I'm just about to open a beauty salon in the uk, only a small one, so I have commitments here, I can imagine if he goes he'll love it and want us to go full time. My eldest son has left home, and is living with his long term girlfriend now, he talks about leaving the uk, various different places are talked about, he has mentioned Australia a few times.

 

I honestly feel, that we didn't give it our best shot first time around, my eldest son was a pain in the back side at the time, but is more mature now, don't think he'd come with us though , not at first anyway his father (exhusband) is in the uk, my youngest son would go back tomorrow, he loves it in Australia, we didn't have loads of spare cash last time we were in oz, it isn't cheap living in Sydney, but we have alot more now, things are different, so not sure what I'm trying to say, but it's true once you've been over to Oz, it stays with you, would I consider moving back to Oz, umm yes maybe?!? I wonder how many others feel like me???

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Totally agree with Lucyboo. We were on the Gold Coast for 2 years I got homesick after 18mths so we came home (OH didn't want too and feels that Australia is the only place he'd call home). After two years back in the UK we are seriously considering going back, neither of us have settled properly back into life over here although we have good friends and family we've seen another side to life and liked it. I'd say Australia has got under our skin in a big way!

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Because we moved to oz with three kids I was lucky that they all came back with us. My middle one was adamant about coming back to the Uk at 18 - now he's 20 and has been back to Oz to see all of his friends on a visit - he loved it again and I think is now planning to return.

 

Also my husband has not settled since we came back - but was equally ( in fact more) unsettled there.

 

I am just about over this nagging connection with Australia that I think will be with me forever. Would I feel so bad about my son if we had never gone and he went backpacking? Will my husband ever settle here without resenting something about being back.

 

Although it was a fabulous experience there are times when I wish we had never bothered.

 

Any words of insight - anyone else got the same stuff happening?

 

Migration opens a can of worms for everyone, particularly when chilldren are involved and age is no barrier.

 

If you had gone on your own then you would only have your own perception/feelings to deal with. Having introduced your family to a new experience will undoudtedly be making your try to feel their expeience too. Its a difficult juggling act but best to have tried and experienced it than have only dreamed, wished and regretted not trying. Perhaps seeing it as an extended 'holiday' would work.

 

The kids will follow there own path. We have always encouraged ours to travel and gain life experiences. That can obviously have its drawbacks because they get a sense of freedom from the experience of travel and go on to do more and more, which was our desired intention. Unfortuantely they then experience it on there own and before you know it they tell you they are migrating themselves. Then what do you do? Your son has the bug. He may go to Canada next, or America and meat a chick and decide to stay. He may return permanantly to Oz and raise a family. Had you stayed, he could have done the same in reverse and gone back to the UK or somewhere else. I suppose setting up a home for all to come back too is the only solution in that scenario.

 

That can of worms can spread a family thin in their own quest for contentment and there is little or nothing that you can do about it.

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Migration opens a can of worms for everyone, particularly when chilldren are involved and age is no barrier.

 

If you had gone on your own then you would only have your own perception/feelings to deal with. Having introduced your family to a new experience will undoudtedly be making your try to feel their expeience too. Its a difficult juggling act but best to have tried and experienced it than have only dreamed, wished and regretted not trying. Perhaps seeing it as an extended 'holiday' would work.

 

The kids will follow there own path. We have always encouraged ours to travel and gain life experiences. That can obviously have its drawbacks because they get a sense of freedom from the experience of travel and go on to do more and more, which was our desired intention. Unfortuantely they then experience it on there own and before you know it they tell you they are migrating themselves. Then what do you do? Your son has the bug. He may go to Canada next, or America and meat a chick and decide to stay. He may return permanantly to Oz and raise a family. Had you stayed, he could have done the same in reverse and gone back to the UK or somewhere else. I suppose setting up a home for all to come back too is the only solution in that scenario.

 

That can of worms can spread a family thin in their own quest for contentment and there is little or nothing that you can do about it.

 

Thanks everyone for your honest replies has helped me get some perspective - truth is oh never been happy wherever we have been. me and kids more settled types - I could have been more settled in ozif he was but the fact is he wasn't and he wanted to be indoors watching tv made me furious - i couldnt understand why we moved there for that - i didnt mind in uk because I had a life , friends, hobbies, work , good social life which he joined in so we had a balance we also enjoyed our evenings home cooking and chilling- when we lived in uk oh did more ( diving on holiday etc) in oz he didn't want to do anything - no boatin, fishin, campin, was all odd. I used to go to the beach on my own - all the while I had given up the things in the uk I loved to do this with him so you can imagine how frustrated I was.

 

Now I am getting back into life here busy with work which is going great guns - professional business making good money - back in the zone with my bezzies, travelling Europe and uk etc. new hobbies. OH doing great at work, also on film sets on the side which he loves, cooking up a storm, doing a masters and time to chill and watch his tv - but still unhappy and pining for oz.

 

We haven't found a house yet - too fussy and don't want to lose any money - but our rental is lovely and feels like home. I know he is going to hanker forever - I guess that's down to him not me.

 

You are so right about kids have decided to let my son fly and give him my blessing and keep everything crossed we will be ok

 

Thanks F

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