Guest gajackdeb1@bigpond.com Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 Hi im really in need of some good advice,im slowly going mad:wacko:here goes ......been living on the sunshine coast coming up 2yrs in april with hubby,son (hes 6)at first found it really hard to settle but this last year since jack started school i have found such good friends ozzie/pommie.....hubbby & jack just love it here don,t get me wrong i like it here too,but i so miss family back in uk,my daughter is 20wks pregnant i feel torn with the thought of not seeing 1st g/child grow we have asked her & partner to come here but they said NO i know this is going to be a big problem for me & hubby,thing is we don,t have our pr visa till we can apply for it in april(going to take 5/7mths) to process from april :arghh:friends say it your family that youv,e got to put 1st they are begging me not to go back.Hope this makes sence sorry its a loooooong 1 please HELP:cry:debs xx
Guest Mrs Braveheart Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 Hi Debs Just wanted to give you a big I know we spoke about this in chat last night & I really don'y know what advice to give you its a really hard one you feel torn between your hubby & Jack and then your daughter & unborn grandchild. We are all here for you hun. If you ever want to talk just pm me. Janette
calNgary Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 Hiya why dont you hang on in there until you get your Pr and then maybe go back for a visit and then so how you feel.You do here of lots of guys selling up here only to return to the uk and want to come back again!!!! big hugs sent your way i dont envy your dilema! Cal x
KazzE Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 oh dear that is a dilema, one of my biggest fears is that one or both of my kids decide that Oz is not for them, I have said that it would be grandchildren coming along that would make me think about where we are living but it could be their choice to live somewhere apart from you which you would have no control over, at least you can decide to go back to UK if you really cannot be apart from them. if you can make it as far as getting your permantent visas at least it gives you more options. Will you be able to make a trip to see them? or help them come out to see you? sorry probably not much help take care:wubclub:
Guest TokenPaddy Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 Hiya Debs I read your post and my heart goes out to you. I don't have answers for you but we have walked in your shoes. Have you thought about approaching immigration and explaining the situation to them perhaps they have a "special circumstances" clause that won't affect you PR application. When our daughter got pregnant I returned to Belfast for 6 months to support her and immigration waived the time because I could prove a permanent base in NZ may be Oz has a similar thing at least this way you would know where you stand regarding your PR. When we have children our whole outlook changes and so will your daughter's after all what are you doing in Oz - a better life for Jack by any chance? I'm not saying she'll pack her bags and fly to Oz just that things change in the blink of an eye so give yourself a bit of time to get your head around it then make a plan that suits the ones that matter most to you including yourself!!! Take care Debs Anne
Quoll Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 {{{{hugs******** to you! What a dilemma! I would think that if you approached immigration and explained the situation about the imminent arrival of your grandchild then there would be some leeway given so that your application for PR was not jeopardized. As for missing your grandchild growing up - these things happen! I have one son in UK and one in Aus. The one in Aus has our first grandchild and I can see that the one in UK is likely to stay there for quite a while yet and so, possibly, start his family there. Not much I can do about it other than take regular trips home (that's why I work!) Unless your daughter says that they are thinking of emigrating then you really should let the matter lie, dont pressure her or play the grandma guilt card whatever you do - once they are grown up and gone, what they do is really none of our business, we just have to trust that they wont do something too stupid!!! I would never have thought that either of my kids would want to go back to live in UK - the younger one bought a one way ticket then told us he was going but he was the one who came back after 7 months and vows never to leave again. The eldest went on a "gap" year after Uni 5 years ago and found a career niche that he would never have found here so you never can tell! Personally, I would go home in a heartbeat but am married to an Aussie who refuses to leave so there isnt much I can do about that!
Guest haze,n,mart Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 hi debs havent got much to add to what everyone says but thionking about you it is so hard to leave children behind we are leaving youngest son and girlfriend who do say they will follow when he is fully qualified but things may change and we know we will have accept that. i would get your pr first then you have options open to you . take care haze x
Guest Gollywobbler Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 Hello Debs Which visa are you on ow? Which PR visa are you applying for? How far along are you in the PR process - ie when do you expect your PR visa to be granted, roughly? Ot sounds to me like you are worried that if you leave oz for a while, it might raise doubts about how genuine your relationship with Gary is, particularly since you would probably take Jack to the UK with you? You might find that you would need written consent from Gary in order to take Jack out of Australia because ofthe Hague Convention. However, for you to leave Oz for a while in order to help your daughter in the UK does not seem to me to be an unreasonable wish. How long would you be thinking of coming to the UK for? Also, have you thought about how hard it would be to leave the UK again in orde rto return to Australia? You seem to be in such a turmoil at the moment that I think you need to consider this question carefully. Best wishes Gill
Guest OldiesRUs Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 Hi Debs Have no advice for you, but totally understand the turmoil you are in. My only grandchild is in Aus and it tears me apart being so far away from him and his dad. But, my youngest son is still here. I would not entertain the idea of emigrating whilst my youngest son was still over here. I just felt that if we did, it would be like we were choosing one boy over the other and I just couldn't do it. Maybe if you decide to come back, your little one might feel that you have chosen your daughter over him, even tho' you will obviously take him with you. The situation for us is different now as my youngest and his girlfriend have said that if we get accepted for a PR then they will also come out about a year later (girlfriend has only just qualified as an accountant) Mind you, the long wait we are having - . CPV visa, the longest and most expensive way to go - means they will probably get out there before us anyway. Jean:wubclub:
Guest gajackdeb1@bigpond.com Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 Leanne as a great job (law degree)so im not to worried on that score,great partener to i just wish i could be real certain that they would come in time KIDZ who have them he he ........deb x
Guest jogrant3232 Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 Hi Deb, I feel for you. We have 4 kids and 2 Grandchildren. Only 1 of our kids is coming with us(youngest). I will miss them so much but they can come to us and I can go to them. We only see them when they want somthing anyway as there lives as so busy. Its dont make it any easier though
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