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menlow4

Not returning home now

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:em4600:I have not been on this site for a good few months now. I think the last post I put on here was after my family was involved in a high speed car crash and then a week later my husband told me that he didn't want to return to the UK anymore (that had been our plan.) That was a crazy time and I don't know which was worse really. There was lots of tears and tantrums (on my part) and what now? how can our relationship move on from this? I was devastated. He kept asking me to look for houses to buy with him and I was having non of it. Over a period of time I realised that I was the only one in the family stamping my feet. My teenage daughters were happy and settled and my actions were unsettling them. I was a mother and should be thinking of them and not just myself. We were living in a rental and I had imagined that the next place we would be settling down would be in the UK. But that couldn't happen. Telling family back home thatwe were not going to be returning was very difficult. So fast forward to May and we have bought a house, my girls are happy and feel more settled. I understand my OH's reasons (recession in UK, jobs, girls futures) but I had the huge pull of a close loving family in the UK pulling at my heart strings. I cannot say that I am unhappy but I have had to lock some things back up in the box inside my head. God knows after our accident last year we are all so lucky to be alive. My eldest daughter is going home for Christmas and I hope to take my youngest home in a couple of years. Those plans and the thought of my parents visiting next year is giving me a focus and something to look forward to.

I wish all of the people on here, who are returning home, all the love and luck in the world. I hope everything works out for you. xxx

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So sorry that things havent worked out how you hoped they would - life is like that though. It is quite possible to live in a place you hate as long as there is some sense of compromise so hopefully you will be able to build into your life all the trips home that you need to keep you sane. Sad when you are the familial sacrificial lamb though. Hang in, it will be fine!!!

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I just wanted to send a :hug: Things have been really tough for you, but you’re finding your own way and getting through. I don’t think there can ever be any easy answer when one half of a couple prefers life in a different part of the world to the other, but little things may help a little. Voluntary work is often mentioned to help newbies find their feet, but that might be worth considering (if you haven’t already) and could help you to feel a bigger part of the local community? It is something you could do independently and would bring you into contact with a whole new set of people. Just a thought, but finding something new to focus on might help to ease the heaviness of heart a little. All the best, Tx

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:em4600:I have not been on this site for a good few months now. I think the last post I put on here was after my family was involved in a high speed car crash and then a week later my husband told me that he didn't want to return to the UK anymore (that had been our plan.) That was a crazy time and I don't know which was worse really. There was lots of tears and tantrums (on my part) and what now? how can our relationship move on from this? I was devastated. He kept asking me to look for houses to buy with him and I was having non of it. Over a period of time I realised that I was the only one in the family stamping my feet. My teenage daughters were happy and settled and my actions were unsettling them. I was a mother and should be thinking of them and not just myself. We were living in a rental and I had imagined that the next place we would be settling down would be in the UK. But that couldn't happen. Telling family back home thatwe were not going to be returning was very difficult. So fast forward to May and we have bought a house, my girls are happy and feel more settled. I understand my OH's reasons (recession in UK, jobs, girls futures) but I had the huge pull of a close loving family in the UK pulling at my heart strings. I cannot say that I am unhappy but I have had to lock some things back up in the box inside my head. God knows after our accident last year we are all so lucky to be alive. My eldest daughter is going home for Christmas and I hope to take my youngest home in a couple of years. Those plans and the thought of my parents visiting next year is giving me a focus and something to look forward to.

I wish all of the people on here, who are returning home, all the love and luck in the world. I hope everything works out for you. xxx

 

What a Wife and Mum!! :wubclub: You deserve a huge :hug: good luck you deserve it and then some!! :smile:


(RSMS 187) RCB 26.09.2013, Nomination 14.10.2013, Visa re-lodged 27.10.2013 non DRC. Child and Family Health nurse. Low risk country. Nomination and Visa both granted 03.12.2013. :jiggy:

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Menlow

 

How lucky you are to have moved on from the crash, but understandbly makes you think. You and your OH make some good points. Your OH may change, but perhaps isn't ready now. But who really knows the right path to take unless you try it?

 

Sounds like family is a big part of your life and fortunately, you can still have your parents over and enjoy them for long periods at at time. As much as goodbyes were always hard, I do miss my mother in law falling asleep in the sun, as I gardened on a weekend in Aus. Now she falls asleep in the front room on a Saturday watching Corrie, when we bring her over once a week. She is good value though.

 

Keep busy and good luck with your new place. Yeah, and a big hug from our family too. Glad you're all ok. :hug:


UK Financial Planner to British expats living in or going to Australia. Now offering FREE managing money webinars on (budgeting, pensions and retirement planning). Great if you're moving countries. Find out more at www.poppyredifa.co.uk or call us on 01260 430011.

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Guest Shelduck

What a lady! i take my hat off to you, as op's have said what a commitment you are showing to your family. I, myself dont honestly know what i would have done in that situation so good on ya xx

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Menlow4, Feel for you, really know where you are coming from. I am in Mandurah, so if you fancy a coffee and a chat, give us a shout. Good luck with everything, x


Steve,carpenter, 43, Jo, ?, Abbie, 8. Paperwork finalised 15/12/08 taken off csl app to WA for ss 29/5/09 granted 24/9/09 visa app submitted 5/6/09 now waiting... co 11/1/11 VISA GRANTED 11/2/11

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Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts and wishes. Yes I am very close to my family here and breaking up our little unit was not an option for me. You just have to get on with it I suppose don't you and make sure that there are things in your life that you look forward to. All the best to you all again. XX

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